Bond Cars, Boxing Squirrels and Air Guitar! All Over the Place

The CBBC presenter gang travel all over the place in the UK!

Get ready to rock! Holly and Ed play invisible guitars,

while London time travels.

Joe drives a Bond car and Barney is attacked by a giant triffid!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates All over the place!

# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

-# But it turns up...

-..all over the place! #

If you like views and hills and things that go up and down,

then I have got something you might be interested in.

-Is it a rollercoaster?

-It's even more exciting!

SCREECH!

This is the freakiest hill in the UK - The Electric Brae.

Freaky, indeed!

-It looks like a pretty normal hill.

-This is million times better.

-Where do you think the bottom is?

-It's there.

I can see it. The top will be behind us. That's how it works.

Top...bottom.

If I took the handbrake off, which direction would it roll?

Ed, I've been on a hill before. You roll downwards.

-That's gravity. You just roll downhill.

-OK, let's find out.

-Ooh!

-Oh, that is weird. We're going backwards.

How does this work? That's against gravity.

Is it some sort of fairy road, where they use their magical powers

to pull cars uphill?

-What do you think?

-I don't know, anymore.

The Victorians thought it might have been magic,

but the road is normal. Everything else is weird.

It slopes in such a way that it tricks your eye into thinking that

-the top of the hill is the bottom.

-That is one freaky road.

It's the freakiest hill in the UK!

CRASH!

Ed, you did put the handbrake on, didn't you?

Erm... Oops!

So let's see what they really thought in the Victorian days...

HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

Ladies and gentlemenly, lovely type fellas-ah!

It is my great pleasure to introduce to you,

truly the most amazing phenomena in all of the United Kingdom-ah -

The mesmeric Electric Brae!

Oi!

What's all this blither-blethering and flibber-flabbering about?

It's only a poxy hill!

Victorian scientists believe that beneath this road

there lies a strange and yet powerful electromagnetic current

which can pull carts and carriages

UP THE HILL!

Therefore defying the very laws of gravity!

-That's why it's called Electric Brae.

-Or it could be the sides of the hill

that give it a trick of the eye.

HE LAUGHS

Get a load of her!

Next she'll be saying that in the future,

people will be walking around with music players in their pockets

or getting curries delivered to their front door.

If this is not a wonder of nature

then why do crowds of Victorian tourists

flock to buy Electric Brae merchandise

from my beautiful cart?

What cart?

D'oh! I forgot to put the brakes on!

My amazing spy senses tell me that this is where the Bond cars are.

Yeah, I think you might be right.

-Yeah, I think I am right.

-Probably because of this massive sign.

-What?

There have been 22 Bond films so far

and six actors have played James Bond.

-What do you think of the colour?

-Yeah, I mean, it's nice.

I don't think I'd choose the bogey colour, myself.

He's got no class! That paint's got real gold in it

and the car featured in Die Another Day.

This one just looks like...

-This is the coolest one of the lot.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah.

It turns into a submarine.

Joe, you just don't have a SCUBA!

They built a prop for it and they thought it was lost forever.

They found it in a scrap yard in the Bahamas.

That's the submarine version. Good job they found it.

Of course, James could've found it using his veeblefetzer.

But what would happen if he invented rubbish gadgets?!

Oh, do come in.

Wow! A space station.

I know your gadgets are top secret but is this really necessary?

Well, maybe I was hiding from someone?

Anyway, what amazing gadgets have you got?

I'm sure a genius such as yourself can conjure up a lethal toy or two,

even with the tightest of budgets.

Well, I do have a remote control car.

Ah!

That'll fox the enemies.

Whilst I'm stealing their secret plans

and kissing their beautiful foreign girlfriends,

they'll be chasing an empty car around town.

Here it is....

It's eco-friendly.

Well, I suppose that's important.

Tell me this is a remote-controlled drone,

for recording information or defusing a bomb?

It's a remote-controlled drone

for recording information or defusing a bomb.

-Is it though?

-No.

Look, this is outrageous!

You say you haven't got any money,

but you've built a space station and teleported me here!

OK, OK. Wait.

What about a tiny hand-communicating device

with a torch, video camera, sat nav, built-in GPS

and full wireless internet.

Well, now you're talking!

Pay as you go.

PHONE BLEEPS Why didn't I see that coming?

Wait, wait!

If you call this phone, from this phone

the person receiving it will get a powerful electric shock!

Wow.

That was really impressive.

What's the number?

Speed dial number two.

Aaaaahhh!

Yeah, you're right...

works really well.

Let's face it,

Bond wouldn't be impressive if his gadgets didn't work.

Am I allowed to get in and have a fiddle about?

Yeah, have a look.

-Yeah, yeah.

-I wanted to do that!

-Sorry, Ed.

Tell me what moves, Ed.

What's this one?

-That's the bumper that bumps the other car.

-The bumper, yeah?

What about this one here, ready?

That's the guns at the front.

Don't shoot me in the shins!

What about this one? Keep your eyes one. Ready?

Is that doing anything?

-I can't see anything.

-Look! Behind me!

It's the bulletproof shield at the back!

Oh, look at it!

This is the coolest car I have seen in my life. I love it!

If I wanted to buy one how much would it set me back?

-It would be in the millions to buy one.

-Millions!

-Millions?

-Millions.

Get me out of this car before I break it!

That's a good idea. Get him out!

He's right! Get him out, get him out!

-Looks like we did a good job tracking down the 007 cars.

-You're right.

Wait till you tell M, she's going to be so happy with us.

-I'm going to head off and see her now, file the report.

-Hold up!

I wanted to do that, I've done more work than you today.

-I think I should tell her.

-All right.

-Oi!

You're not going to catch me, Ed!

I'm going to get to M before you do, mate!

Do you expect me to give up, Edward?

No, Mr Swash. I expect you to die! Ha-ha!

Not many people have a favourite traffic light...

but I do!

It's this one.

This is what happens if you water a traffic light too much.

Actually, that's a lie.

This is the Traffic Light Tree,

designed by a French bloke about ten years ago.

It's eight metres tall

and it's got 75 sets of lights.

He won a competition to replace the real tree that used to be here -

it died of pollution.

HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

Frankly, I'm not surprised.

I wonder if there's every been any...

CLANGING

Oh, well. I suppose too many traffic lights are better than none.

Imagine if there weren't any at all...

If you didn't have traffic lights, you'd have to have lollipop ladies.

But what happens if you're on a cross-junction and bees came along

and the lollipop lady was trying to hit all the bees?

So she was going, "Stop! Go! Stop!"

Chameleons could change colour, like red and yellow and green

So you would know when to go.

If the chameleon turned blue there would be crashes from every angle.

Think you've got a big collection? Well, look at this!

Well, this isn't much good, is it?

We come all the way to Torquay to see Shane and he's not here.

PHONE RINGS

Ah! Ha-ha!

Quick, go on before it rings off.

Mysterious!

Hello?

'Hello. Welcome to my collection of telephones.

'I've got one of the largest collections in the UK.

'Sorry I can't be there now

'but have a look and I'll catch up with you soon.'

-Cool!

-Oh, great!

Let's have a look around.

-# Call me

-Call me!

# On the line Call me, call me...#

PHONE RINGS

It actually frightened me!

-Which one is it?

-I don't know - there's so many!

We'll be here all day!

-That one, that one!

-This one?

-Yeah.

-Ah!

-Hello?

-Hello, Ed.

-'Hello, Shane.'

We're in this room at the moment with em...buttons everywhere.

-We were just wondering what it is.

-That is a telephone switchboard.

You can be put through to all over the world from that switchboard.

Each of the holes represents someone's phone number.

All right, Ed and Gemma, get ready to connect the calls!

Four is calling 37.

Ten is calling 44.

Hang on, hang on!

Six is calling 18.

-Six...

-No, wait. Stop!

What was the first one?

-Two is calling 22.

-You snooze, you lose!

13 is calling 11.

13, 13, 13...

I can't find any of them!

-Ye-es!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

I'd just like to apologise to men everywhere.

-(Loser!)

-I've really let the side down.

I'm a bit gutted that we didn't get to meet Shane.

Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't mind really. I got him a present.

-Oh, cool! What is it?

-Have a guess.

-Uh, a CD?

-No.

-Book?

-No.

-Bicycle?

-No.

-It's a phone. It's a mobile one from the 1980s.

-Brilliant!

It's the size of a brick.

I wonder what someone from the 80s would make of mobiles now.

-All right, Ed.

-All right.

-Who you phoning?

-The 1980s.

Oh, it's ringing.

-Yo!

-Hello, 1980s London?

It's Ed from the future here.

Hey, future Ed!

I'm just talking to you on my new hand portable.

What am I saying?

-Don't you mean mobile?

-What?

RINGTONE PLAYS

What was that?

Oh, it was just London's phone.

Phones don't make that noise.

They either go "ring-ring", "beep-beep"

or nothing at all because their battery's dead.

Oh. Does your battery die a lot then?

No! Not this phone - it's a new model, the deluxe package.

I can make ten three-minute phone calls in a single charge. Beat that!

It's easy. The battery on my phones last for days,

unless I've been playing too much music.

You've got music on your phone?!

Yeah. Haven't you?

Well, yeah, sort of.

I can play a few tunes like Frere Jacques.

SHE PLAYS FRERE JACQUES USING TOUCH-TONE

Face it, London from the past, phones back then were rubbish!

Hey, Ed from the future, they might be pretty basic

but phones like this will be lasting longer

than silly mobiles especially....

-DIAL TONE

-Hello? Hello?

Battery's died.

PHONE CLATTERS AND GOES SILENT

-# I'm Bernard Ward

-I'm Lady Anne Bligh

# Together we were man and wife

# But when we built our country pile

# We simply could agree on the style

# We can't agree, so what's to be done?

# Only a fool would build two houses in one

# So, Mr Builder, is it hard

# To build a house with two facades?

# You seem to have adopted a thoughtful posture. #

Two houses in one? It's going to cost you.

40 grand.

Which in today's money is... Well, it's a lot.

# We're made for each other, you and me

# Cos we always agree to disagree

# One side classic, I'm more traditional

# One side Gothic, I'm more whimsical

# Wandering about the rooms inside

# We continued the theme that had a divide

# One half for him

# One half for her

# And we stayed in the half that we preferred

# We're made for each other, you and me

# Cos we always agree to disagree

# And though our two-faced house was completed

# Our disagreements were still quite heated

# Meal times were always particularly thrilling

# Try making a sandwich with two different fillings

# There's only one way to solve this, my dear

# And this collection of squirrels have given me an idea

MUSIC: "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor

# We're made

# For each oth-er

# You and me

# Cos we al-ways agree

# To dis-agree

MUSIC RETURNS TO ORIGINAL MELODY # There is one other solution of course

# We could always try and get a divorce. #

Ugh.

You know what, dear? For once, I agree with you.

-A funny thing's happening to me at the moment.

-Oh, yeah?

-What's that?

-Every time I read a book,

the next day I feel like I'm living out the title.

Eh? Like what?

Well, the other week I read Harry Potter

and the next day I found myself in a pottery class.

-Huh! Random.

-Yeah.

And then I read the Tales Of Narnia and I got locked in a wardrobe.

What did you read last night? It wasn't Winnie The Pooh, was it?

No. No, it was The Day Of The Triffids.

-BARNEY CHUCKLES

-Yeah, right.

Like we're going to bump in to a giant man-eating plant

running around the Scottish countryside!

As if that's going to happen!

THEY SHOUT AND SCREAM

Don't panic, Ed and Barney!

This is a giant sculpture in Jupiter Artland

which is a garden full of art.

So, there's loads of different sculptures round this park.

I think you'll find it is an Artland, not a park.

-OK, I'd like to find out a bit more about this Artland.

-So would I.

-How do you get back again?

-I've no idea!

This place gets weirder and weirder.

But this is where we get our information from.

It's the Web!

Ed and Barney, you have one minute to find more information

about Jupiter Artland.

Barney, you've got Richard.

Ed, you've got Diana.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three, two, one, go!

Hello, I'm here to ask you lots of questions. Don't be scared!

-Why is it called Jupiter Artland?

-It's named after the planet Jupiter.

-How big are the parks?

-Big. Huge!

-What's the tallest sculpture?

-It's a 12-metre orchid.

-How long have you been open for?

-Two years.

-Uh, have you ever been to the planet Jupiter?!

-No.

-How much water is in there?

-A massive amount.

I've been practising as a human statue, what do you think of this?

It's average.

-How many of these mounds do you have?

-Nine.

How much money would you give me for it?

Uh...a penny?

-How many sculptures are there?

-About 12.

Has an artist ever come here and gone,

-"Oh, I'm not putting my stuff here."

-Not yet.

-How much concrete is in here?

-Concrete? There is no concrete.

-How many visitors do you get a year?

-Uh, about 10,000.

-How many trees?

-Oh, thousands!

-What's people's favourite sculpture here?

-Weeping Girls.

-What's the tallest tree?

-Tallest tree - 80 feet.

-What's the most expensive sculpture?

-I'm not answering.

If you were to open a zoo, where would you put the giraffes?

-Stop! Time's up!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

Out of time! Well done, brilliant.

And the person who found out the most facts is...

-..Barney!

-Yes!

-Oh, no! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I wasted too much time on my human statue.

-That'll teach you!

-What do you think of this?

-It's rubbish.

-Oh, that's what she said.

I'll show you, I'll show you all!

-I wonder if there's any honey.

-What are you doing?!

It's full of bees! Run, Barney!

No, I've checked, they're empty. Look.

It's just a sculpture.

"Beehives in the wild flower meadow by Ian Hamilton Finlay." Very nice.

Ah, what a piece, Barney!

It speaks to me of repression - caging in what wants to be set free,

the soul, one's desires. Beautiful!

What are you looking at the cage for?

That's just to stop things falling in it. That's the art down there.

The hole! It's not called The Hole though,

it's called Suck.

It's supposed to make you think

about things being sucked into the earth.

Climbing frame, Barney, climbing frame!

-Ed, it's not!

-It's a climbing frame!

-No, it's not. Look.

-It's called the Firmament, it's another sculpture.

-Oh.

-It looks like a bloke kneeling down.

-It's supposed to be.

It's made out of steel. Wow, that's cool.

These are the Weeping Girls, Ed. Pretty cool.

They bring a bit of a tear to my eye. Look, she's really sad.

I'm not surprised - she's got to hold a tree up!

What about this one? She hasn't got MUSHROOM to stand!

Ha-ha! Much room!

Cos there's some mush... All right.

-Do you want to go homeward?

-OK.

It's just as well you weren't reading Man On The Moon.

-Well, we have been to Jupiter and back.

-Yeah, that's true.

It would have been good if I'd read Charlie And The Chocolate Factory!

-Yeah, but bad if you were reading Wind In the Willows.

-Oh! Yeah.

-# De-de...#

-Holly, what are you doing?!

-What?

-Where's your guitar?

-What are you talking about?

We're hearing for the UK Air...Guitar...Championships.

-You didn't bring a guitar, did you?

-Ugh! I'm going to look so stupid!

I brought a spare one

cos I've got a feeling I'm going to trash this baby later so...

-It's just there.

-You're a life saver.

-It's good cos I can't play the guitar. Is it here?

-No, to the right.

-Here?

-No, Ed, it's there on the right.

Oh, right, Yeah.

DISTORTED GUITAR STRUM Oh. It's a bit out of tune.

I think your eyes are a bit out of focus, Ed because...

ROCK MUSIC

Here's Ed Banger!

Just heading up to the stage now.

I look the part but I'm a bit worried I'm lacking air-ness.

It's starting to get a bit busy now!

Where's Holly gone?

Hey, don't you mean Wah Wah Walsh?

Wah Wah Walsh!

It's - # Wah Wah Walsh! #

Sorry - # Wah Wah Walsh. #

Welcome. This is, of course, the UK Air Guitar Championships. Come on!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

-Do you feel nervous?

-Stupidly, I do feel quite nervous.

Why do I feel nervous about this? It's so stupid! I'm not even playing!

Do you know what though?

It's knowing that they're watching your every move.

I've never played the guitar, so I'm a bit worried.

I can't remember this - high notes, down, low notes, up.

It's so simple yet I can't get it right.

If they asked me to play the air recorder, I would own that stage.

-Hey!

-May the best man lose.

-Yeah, may the best man lose.

-We're going on in five. Wargh!

-I can't do an interview.

I'm getting nervous.

-Right, next contestant time.

-Oh, no, it's me!

Influences - Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine.

MUSIC: "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses

Style - Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine.

MUSIC: "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses

Please welcome to the stage, Ed Banger!

Here we go! Wish me luck. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Give me a nod, yeah?

AUDIENCE MEMBERS SCREAM

# Oh, oh, oh, oh

# Sweet child o' mine

# Ooh, yeah, yeah

# Ooh-ooh-ooh, sweet love of mine

GUITAR SOLO

# Where do we go now?

# Now, now, now, now, now, now, now

# Sweet child

# Sweet child-ild-ild of mine. #

Ed Banger, come on!

SOME BOOS AND APPLAUSE

-I think they're booing me!

-Ed Banger!

Yes, my public!

How'd it go?

I'm genuinely nervous. This is scary!

I saw how badly you went down and I don't want the same.

It's like gladiators. You go out there and like, "No!"

If you see my hat out there, can you pick it up?

That hat has been taken out the back and burnt

because they are so disgusted by your performance.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Bri-ian!

This is our next contestant.

This is Wah Wah Walsh.

Did he pronounce your name right?

It's - # Wah Wah Walsh! #

Welcome to the stage Wah Wah Walsh!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

MUSIC: "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey

# Don't stop believin'

# Hold on to that feeling

# Streetlights, people

# Ohh-hhhh

# Don't stop believin'

# Hold o-on

# Streetlights, people

# Ohh-hhhh

# Don't stop believin'

# Hold on to that feeling. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

Let's give it up for Wah Wah Walsh!

Wah Wah Walsh!

The judges have voted and the scores are in.

Time now to reveal the winner.

Will it be Ed Banger,

who cranked up his back-stroking, Guns N' Roses toking

to a smoking 11?

Or will it be Wah Wah Walsh who wow-wow-wowed the crowd

with her knee-trembling,

sunglass-wearing, awesome rock chick antics?

Here to reveal the scores is His Royal Air-ness of Rock,

judge and former air guitar champion Zac Monro.

One of you did very well.

One of you got 13.1 and one you got 15.5 which is a very good score.

So, I can award this trophy...

to Holly.

-Yes!

-Well done.

-Wow!

Thank you!

Yeah, more importantly, where's my hat?!

I've not seen your hat.

Where's my hat?!

Ed is such a bad loser.

Holly is now officially my rock guitar hero.

See, we've been all over the place!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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