Bond Cars, Boxing Squirrels and Air Guitar! All Over the Place


Bond Cars, Boxing Squirrels and Air Guitar!

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The CBBC presenter gang travel all over the place in the UK!

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Get ready to rock! Holly and Ed play invisible guitars,

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while London time travels.

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Joe drives a Bond car and Barney is attacked by a giant triffid!

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

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# Me and my mates All over the place!

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# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

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# Whatever we do is strange but true!

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

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-# But it turns up...

-..all over the place! #

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If you like views and hills and things that go up and down,

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then I have got something you might be interested in.

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-Is it a rollercoaster?

-It's even more exciting!

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SCREECH!

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This is the freakiest hill in the UK - The Electric Brae.

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Freaky, indeed!

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-It looks like a pretty normal hill.

-This is million times better.

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-Where do you think the bottom is?

-It's there.

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I can see it. The top will be behind us. That's how it works.

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Top...bottom.

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If I took the handbrake off, which direction would it roll?

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Ed, I've been on a hill before. You roll downwards.

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-That's gravity. You just roll downhill.

-OK, let's find out.

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-Ooh!

-Oh, that is weird. We're going backwards.

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How does this work? That's against gravity.

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Is it some sort of fairy road, where they use their magical powers

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to pull cars uphill?

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-What do you think?

-I don't know, anymore.

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The Victorians thought it might have been magic,

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but the road is normal. Everything else is weird.

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It slopes in such a way that it tricks your eye into thinking that

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-the top of the hill is the bottom.

-That is one freaky road.

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It's the freakiest hill in the UK!

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CRASH!

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Ed, you did put the handbrake on, didn't you?

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Erm... Oops!

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So let's see what they really thought in the Victorian days...

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HE CLEARS HIS THROAT

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Ladies and gentlemenly, lovely type fellas-ah!

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It is my great pleasure to introduce to you,

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truly the most amazing phenomena in all of the United Kingdom-ah -

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The mesmeric Electric Brae!

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Oi!

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What's all this blither-blethering and flibber-flabbering about?

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It's only a poxy hill!

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Victorian scientists believe that beneath this road

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there lies a strange and yet powerful electromagnetic current

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which can pull carts and carriages

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UP THE HILL!

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Therefore defying the very laws of gravity!

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-That's why it's called Electric Brae.

-Or it could be the sides of the hill

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that give it a trick of the eye.

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HE LAUGHS

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Get a load of her!

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Next she'll be saying that in the future,

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people will be walking around with music players in their pockets

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or getting curries delivered to their front door.

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If this is not a wonder of nature

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then why do crowds of Victorian tourists

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flock to buy Electric Brae merchandise

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from my beautiful cart?

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What cart?

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D'oh! I forgot to put the brakes on!

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My amazing spy senses tell me that this is where the Bond cars are.

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Yeah, I think you might be right.

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-Yeah, I think I am right.

-Probably because of this massive sign.

-What?

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There have been 22 Bond films so far

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and six actors have played James Bond.

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-What do you think of the colour?

-Yeah, I mean, it's nice.

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I don't think I'd choose the bogey colour, myself.

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He's got no class! That paint's got real gold in it

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and the car featured in Die Another Day.

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This one just looks like...

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-This is the coolest one of the lot.

-Are you sure?

-Yeah, yeah.

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It turns into a submarine.

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Joe, you just don't have a SCUBA!

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They built a prop for it and they thought it was lost forever.

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They found it in a scrap yard in the Bahamas.

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That's the submarine version. Good job they found it.

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Of course, James could've found it using his veeblefetzer.

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But what would happen if he invented rubbish gadgets?!

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Oh, do come in.

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Wow! A space station.

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I know your gadgets are top secret but is this really necessary?

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Well, maybe I was hiding from someone?

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Anyway, what amazing gadgets have you got?

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I'm sure a genius such as yourself can conjure up a lethal toy or two,

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even with the tightest of budgets.

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Well, I do have a remote control car.

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Ah!

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That'll fox the enemies.

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Whilst I'm stealing their secret plans

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and kissing their beautiful foreign girlfriends,

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they'll be chasing an empty car around town.

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Here it is....

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It's eco-friendly.

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Well, I suppose that's important.

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Tell me this is a remote-controlled drone,

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for recording information or defusing a bomb?

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It's a remote-controlled drone

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for recording information or defusing a bomb.

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-Is it though?

-No.

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Look, this is outrageous!

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You say you haven't got any money,

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but you've built a space station and teleported me here!

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OK, OK. Wait.

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What about a tiny hand-communicating device

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with a torch, video camera, sat nav, built-in GPS

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and full wireless internet.

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Well, now you're talking!

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Pay as you go.

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PHONE BLEEPS Why didn't I see that coming?

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Wait, wait!

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If you call this phone, from this phone

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the person receiving it will get a powerful electric shock!

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Wow.

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That was really impressive.

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What's the number?

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Speed dial number two.

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Aaaaahhh!

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Yeah, you're right...

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works really well.

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Let's face it,

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Bond wouldn't be impressive if his gadgets didn't work.

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Am I allowed to get in and have a fiddle about?

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Yeah, have a look.

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-Yeah, yeah.

-I wanted to do that!

-Sorry, Ed.

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Tell me what moves, Ed.

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What's this one?

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-That's the bumper that bumps the other car.

-The bumper, yeah?

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What about this one here, ready?

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That's the guns at the front.

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Don't shoot me in the shins!

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What about this one? Keep your eyes one. Ready?

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Is that doing anything?

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-I can't see anything.

-Look! Behind me!

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It's the bulletproof shield at the back!

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Oh, look at it!

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This is the coolest car I have seen in my life. I love it!

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If I wanted to buy one how much would it set me back?

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-It would be in the millions to buy one.

-Millions!

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-Millions?

-Millions.

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Get me out of this car before I break it!

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That's a good idea. Get him out!

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He's right! Get him out, get him out!

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-Looks like we did a good job tracking down the 007 cars.

-You're right.

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Wait till you tell M, she's going to be so happy with us.

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-I'm going to head off and see her now, file the report.

-Hold up!

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I wanted to do that, I've done more work than you today.

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-I think I should tell her.

-All right.

-Oi!

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You're not going to catch me, Ed!

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I'm going to get to M before you do, mate!

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Do you expect me to give up, Edward?

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No, Mr Swash. I expect you to die! Ha-ha!

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Not many people have a favourite traffic light...

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but I do!

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It's this one.

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This is what happens if you water a traffic light too much.

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Actually, that's a lie.

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This is the Traffic Light Tree,

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designed by a French bloke about ten years ago.

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It's eight metres tall

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and it's got 75 sets of lights.

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He won a competition to replace the real tree that used to be here -

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it died of pollution.

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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Frankly, I'm not surprised.

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I wonder if there's every been any...

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CLANGING

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Oh, well. I suppose too many traffic lights are better than none.

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Imagine if there weren't any at all...

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If you didn't have traffic lights, you'd have to have lollipop ladies.

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But what happens if you're on a cross-junction and bees came along

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and the lollipop lady was trying to hit all the bees?

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So she was going, "Stop! Go! Stop!"

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Chameleons could change colour, like red and yellow and green

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So you would know when to go.

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If the chameleon turned blue there would be crashes from every angle.

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Think you've got a big collection? Well, look at this!

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Well, this isn't much good, is it?

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We come all the way to Torquay to see Shane and he's not here.

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PHONE RINGS

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Ah! Ha-ha!

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Quick, go on before it rings off.

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Mysterious!

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Hello?

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'Hello. Welcome to my collection of telephones.

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'I've got one of the largest collections in the UK.

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'Sorry I can't be there now

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'but have a look and I'll catch up with you soon.'

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-Cool!

-Oh, great!

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Let's have a look around.

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-# Call me

-Call me!

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# On the line Call me, call me...#

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PHONE RINGS

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It actually frightened me!

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-Which one is it?

-I don't know - there's so many!

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We'll be here all day!

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-That one, that one!

-This one?

-Yeah.

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-Ah!

-Hello?

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-Hello, Ed.

-'Hello, Shane.'

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We're in this room at the moment with em...buttons everywhere.

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-We were just wondering what it is.

-That is a telephone switchboard.

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You can be put through to all over the world from that switchboard.

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Each of the holes represents someone's phone number.

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All right, Ed and Gemma, get ready to connect the calls!

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Four is calling 37.

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Ten is calling 44.

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Hang on, hang on!

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Six is calling 18.

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-Six...

-No, wait. Stop!

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What was the first one?

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-Two is calling 22.

-You snooze, you lose!

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13 is calling 11.

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13, 13, 13...

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I can't find any of them!

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-Ye-es!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

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I'd just like to apologise to men everywhere.

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-(Loser!)

-I've really let the side down.

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I'm a bit gutted that we didn't get to meet Shane.

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Yeah. I'm sure he doesn't mind really. I got him a present.

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-Oh, cool! What is it?

-Have a guess.

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-Uh, a CD?

-No.

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-Book?

-No.

-Bicycle?

-No.

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-It's a phone. It's a mobile one from the 1980s.

-Brilliant!

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It's the size of a brick.

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I wonder what someone from the 80s would make of mobiles now.

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-All right, Ed.

-All right.

-Who you phoning?

-The 1980s.

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Oh, it's ringing.

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-Yo!

-Hello, 1980s London?

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It's Ed from the future here.

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Hey, future Ed!

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I'm just talking to you on my new hand portable.

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What am I saying?

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-Don't you mean mobile?

-What?

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RINGTONE PLAYS

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What was that?

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Oh, it was just London's phone.

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Phones don't make that noise.

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They either go "ring-ring", "beep-beep"

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or nothing at all because their battery's dead.

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Oh. Does your battery die a lot then?

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No! Not this phone - it's a new model, the deluxe package.

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I can make ten three-minute phone calls in a single charge. Beat that!

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It's easy. The battery on my phones last for days,

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unless I've been playing too much music.

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You've got music on your phone?!

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Yeah. Haven't you?

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Well, yeah, sort of.

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I can play a few tunes like Frere Jacques.

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SHE PLAYS FRERE JACQUES USING TOUCH-TONE

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Face it, London from the past, phones back then were rubbish!

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Hey, Ed from the future, they might be pretty basic

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but phones like this will be lasting longer

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than silly mobiles especially....

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-DIAL TONE

-Hello? Hello?

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Battery's died.

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PHONE CLATTERS AND GOES SILENT

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-# I'm Bernard Ward

-I'm Lady Anne Bligh

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# Together we were man and wife

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# But when we built our country pile

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# We simply could agree on the style

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# We can't agree, so what's to be done?

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# Only a fool would build two houses in one

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# So, Mr Builder, is it hard

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# To build a house with two facades?

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# You seem to have adopted a thoughtful posture. #

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Two houses in one? It's going to cost you.

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40 grand.

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Which in today's money is... Well, it's a lot.

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# We're made for each other, you and me

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# Cos we always agree to disagree

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# One side classic, I'm more traditional

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# One side Gothic, I'm more whimsical

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# Wandering about the rooms inside

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# We continued the theme that had a divide

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# One half for him

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# One half for her

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# And we stayed in the half that we preferred

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# We're made for each other, you and me

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# Cos we always agree to disagree

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# And though our two-faced house was completed

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# Our disagreements were still quite heated

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# Meal times were always particularly thrilling

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# Try making a sandwich with two different fillings

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# There's only one way to solve this, my dear

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# And this collection of squirrels have given me an idea

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MUSIC: "Eye Of The Tiger" by Survivor

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# We're made

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# For each oth-er

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# You and me

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# Cos we al-ways agree

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# To dis-agree

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MUSIC RETURNS TO ORIGINAL MELODY # There is one other solution of course

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# We could always try and get a divorce. #

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Ugh.

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You know what, dear? For once, I agree with you.

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-A funny thing's happening to me at the moment.

-Oh, yeah?

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-What's that?

-Every time I read a book,

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the next day I feel like I'm living out the title.

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Eh? Like what?

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Well, the other week I read Harry Potter

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and the next day I found myself in a pottery class.

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-Huh! Random.

-Yeah.

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And then I read the Tales Of Narnia and I got locked in a wardrobe.

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What did you read last night? It wasn't Winnie The Pooh, was it?

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No. No, it was The Day Of The Triffids.

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-BARNEY CHUCKLES

-Yeah, right.

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Like we're going to bump in to a giant man-eating plant

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running around the Scottish countryside!

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As if that's going to happen!

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THEY SHOUT AND SCREAM

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Don't panic, Ed and Barney!

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This is a giant sculpture in Jupiter Artland

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which is a garden full of art.

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So, there's loads of different sculptures round this park.

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I think you'll find it is an Artland, not a park.

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-OK, I'd like to find out a bit more about this Artland.

-So would I.

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-How do you get back again?

-I've no idea!

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This place gets weirder and weirder.

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But this is where we get our information from.

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It's the Web!

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Ed and Barney, you have one minute to find more information

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about Jupiter Artland.

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Barney, you've got Richard.

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Ed, you've got Diana.

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Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

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Three, two, one, go!

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Hello, I'm here to ask you lots of questions. Don't be scared!

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-Why is it called Jupiter Artland?

-It's named after the planet Jupiter.

0:18:200:18:23

-How big are the parks?

-Big. Huge!

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-What's the tallest sculpture?

-It's a 12-metre orchid.

0:18:270:18:30

-How long have you been open for?

-Two years.

0:18:300:18:32

-Uh, have you ever been to the planet Jupiter?!

-No.

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-How much water is in there?

-A massive amount.

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I've been practising as a human statue, what do you think of this?

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It's average.

0:18:410:18:42

-How many of these mounds do you have?

-Nine.

0:18:420:18:44

How much money would you give me for it?

0:18:440:18:46

Uh...a penny?

0:18:460:18:47

-How many sculptures are there?

-About 12.

0:18:470:18:49

Has an artist ever come here and gone,

0:18:490:18:51

-"Oh, I'm not putting my stuff here."

-Not yet.

0:18:510:18:53

-How much concrete is in here?

-Concrete? There is no concrete.

0:18:530:18:57

-How many visitors do you get a year?

-Uh, about 10,000.

0:18:570:19:00

-How many trees?

-Oh, thousands!

0:19:000:19:03

-What's people's favourite sculpture here?

-Weeping Girls.

0:19:030:19:06

-What's the tallest tree?

-Tallest tree - 80 feet.

0:19:060:19:09

-What's the most expensive sculpture?

-I'm not answering.

0:19:090:19:12

If you were to open a zoo, where would you put the giraffes?

0:19:120:19:15

-Stop! Time's up!

-KLAXON SOUNDS

0:19:150:19:16

Out of time! Well done, brilliant.

0:19:160:19:19

And the person who found out the most facts is...

0:19:190:19:22

-..Barney!

-Yes!

-Oh, no! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:19:230:19:26

I wasted too much time on my human statue.

0:19:260:19:28

-That'll teach you!

-What do you think of this?

0:19:280:19:31

-It's rubbish.

-Oh, that's what she said.

0:19:320:19:34

I'll show you, I'll show you all!

0:19:340:19:37

-I wonder if there's any honey.

-What are you doing?!

0:19:370:19:39

It's full of bees! Run, Barney!

0:19:390:19:41

No, I've checked, they're empty. Look.

0:19:410:19:43

It's just a sculpture.

0:19:430:19:44

"Beehives in the wild flower meadow by Ian Hamilton Finlay." Very nice.

0:19:440:19:49

Ah, what a piece, Barney!

0:19:490:19:50

It speaks to me of repression - caging in what wants to be set free,

0:19:500:19:55

the soul, one's desires. Beautiful!

0:19:550:19:59

What are you looking at the cage for?

0:19:590:20:01

That's just to stop things falling in it. That's the art down there.

0:20:010:20:04

The hole! It's not called The Hole though,

0:20:040:20:06

it's called Suck.

0:20:060:20:07

It's supposed to make you think

0:20:070:20:09

about things being sucked into the earth.

0:20:090:20:12

Climbing frame, Barney, climbing frame!

0:20:120:20:14

-Ed, it's not!

-It's a climbing frame!

-No, it's not. Look.

0:20:140:20:17

-It's called the Firmament, it's another sculpture.

-Oh.

0:20:170:20:21

-It looks like a bloke kneeling down.

-It's supposed to be.

0:20:210:20:24

It's made out of steel. Wow, that's cool.

0:20:240:20:26

These are the Weeping Girls, Ed. Pretty cool.

0:20:260:20:29

They bring a bit of a tear to my eye. Look, she's really sad.

0:20:290:20:32

I'm not surprised - she's got to hold a tree up!

0:20:320:20:35

What about this one? She hasn't got MUSHROOM to stand!

0:20:350:20:38

Ha-ha! Much room!

0:20:380:20:39

Cos there's some mush... All right.

0:20:390:20:42

-Do you want to go homeward?

-OK.

0:20:420:20:43

It's just as well you weren't reading Man On The Moon.

0:20:430:20:46

-Well, we have been to Jupiter and back.

-Yeah, that's true.

0:20:460:20:49

It would have been good if I'd read Charlie And The Chocolate Factory!

0:20:500:20:54

-Yeah, but bad if you were reading Wind In the Willows.

-Oh! Yeah.

0:20:540:20:58

-# De-de...#

-Holly, what are you doing?!

-What?

0:21:060:21:09

-Where's your guitar?

-What are you talking about?

0:21:090:21:11

We're hearing for the UK Air...Guitar...Championships.

0:21:110:21:14

-You didn't bring a guitar, did you?

-Ugh! I'm going to look so stupid!

0:21:140:21:18

I brought a spare one

0:21:180:21:19

cos I've got a feeling I'm going to trash this baby later so...

0:21:190:21:23

-It's just there.

-You're a life saver.

0:21:230:21:25

-It's good cos I can't play the guitar. Is it here?

-No, to the right.

0:21:250:21:28

-Here?

-No, Ed, it's there on the right.

0:21:280:21:30

Oh, right, Yeah.

0:21:300:21:32

DISTORTED GUITAR STRUM Oh. It's a bit out of tune.

0:21:320:21:34

I think your eyes are a bit out of focus, Ed because...

0:21:340:21:37

ROCK MUSIC

0:21:410:21:42

Here's Ed Banger!

0:22:020:22:04

Just heading up to the stage now.

0:22:060:22:08

I look the part but I'm a bit worried I'm lacking air-ness.

0:22:080:22:12

It's starting to get a bit busy now!

0:22:170:22:19

Where's Holly gone?

0:22:190:22:20

Hey, don't you mean Wah Wah Walsh?

0:22:200:22:24

Wah Wah Walsh!

0:22:250:22:27

It's - # Wah Wah Walsh! #

0:22:270:22:29

Sorry - # Wah Wah Walsh. #

0:22:290:22:31

Welcome. This is, of course, the UK Air Guitar Championships. Come on!

0:22:310:22:35

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:22:350:22:37

-Do you feel nervous?

-Stupidly, I do feel quite nervous.

0:22:370:22:41

Why do I feel nervous about this? It's so stupid! I'm not even playing!

0:22:410:22:44

Do you know what though?

0:22:440:22:46

It's knowing that they're watching your every move.

0:22:460:22:49

I've never played the guitar, so I'm a bit worried.

0:22:490:22:51

I can't remember this - high notes, down, low notes, up.

0:22:510:22:55

It's so simple yet I can't get it right.

0:22:550:22:57

If they asked me to play the air recorder, I would own that stage.

0:22:570:23:00

-Hey!

-May the best man lose.

-Yeah, may the best man lose.

0:23:000:23:04

-We're going on in five. Wargh!

-I can't do an interview.

0:23:040:23:08

I'm getting nervous.

0:23:080:23:10

-Right, next contestant time.

-Oh, no, it's me!

0:23:100:23:13

Influences - Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine.

0:23:130:23:16

MUSIC: "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses

0:23:160:23:18

Style - Guns N' Roses, Sweet Child O' Mine.

0:23:180:23:21

MUSIC: "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N' Roses

0:23:210:23:23

Please welcome to the stage, Ed Banger!

0:23:230:23:27

Here we go! Wish me luck. CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:23:270:23:30

Give me a nod, yeah?

0:23:300:23:31

AUDIENCE MEMBERS SCREAM

0:23:350:23:37

# Oh, oh, oh, oh

0:23:380:23:40

# Sweet child o' mine

0:23:400:23:44

# Ooh, yeah, yeah

0:23:440:23:46

# Ooh-ooh-ooh, sweet love of mine

0:23:460:23:52

GUITAR SOLO

0:23:540:23:56

# Where do we go now?

0:24:240:24:26

# Now, now, now, now, now, now, now

0:24:260:24:29

# Sweet child

0:24:290:24:31

# Sweet child-ild-ild of mine. #

0:24:310:24:40

Ed Banger, come on!

0:24:430:24:45

SOME BOOS AND APPLAUSE

0:24:450:24:48

-I think they're booing me!

-Ed Banger!

0:24:480:24:50

Yes, my public!

0:24:520:24:54

How'd it go?

0:24:550:24:57

I'm genuinely nervous. This is scary!

0:25:000:25:04

I saw how badly you went down and I don't want the same.

0:25:040:25:06

It's like gladiators. You go out there and like, "No!"

0:25:060:25:10

If you see my hat out there, can you pick it up?

0:25:100:25:12

That hat has been taken out the back and burnt

0:25:120:25:15

because they are so disgusted by your performance.

0:25:150:25:17

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:170:25:20

Bri-ian!

0:25:200:25:24

This is our next contestant.

0:25:240:25:27

This is Wah Wah Walsh.

0:25:270:25:30

Did he pronounce your name right?

0:25:300:25:32

It's - # Wah Wah Walsh! #

0:25:320:25:34

Welcome to the stage Wah Wah Walsh!

0:25:340:25:38

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:25:380:25:40

MUSIC: "Don't Stop Believin'" by Journey

0:25:480:25:51

# Don't stop believin'

0:26:040:26:08

# Hold on to that feeling

0:26:090:26:12

# Streetlights, people

0:26:120:26:15

# Ohh-hhhh

0:26:150:26:20

# Don't stop believin'

0:26:200:26:24

# Hold o-on

0:26:240:26:28

# Streetlights, people

0:26:280:26:31

# Ohh-hhhh

0:26:310:26:36

# Don't stop believin'

0:26:360:26:40

# Hold on to that feeling. #

0:26:400:26:44

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

0:26:440:26:46

Let's give it up for Wah Wah Walsh!

0:26:460:26:49

Wah Wah Walsh!

0:26:490:26:50

The judges have voted and the scores are in.

0:26:530:26:56

Time now to reveal the winner.

0:26:560:26:58

Will it be Ed Banger,

0:26:580:27:00

who cranked up his back-stroking, Guns N' Roses toking

0:27:000:27:03

to a smoking 11?

0:27:030:27:05

Or will it be Wah Wah Walsh who wow-wow-wowed the crowd

0:27:050:27:09

with her knee-trembling,

0:27:090:27:11

sunglass-wearing, awesome rock chick antics?

0:27:110:27:13

Here to reveal the scores is His Royal Air-ness of Rock,

0:27:130:27:16

judge and former air guitar champion Zac Monro.

0:27:160:27:20

One of you did very well.

0:27:200:27:22

One of you got 13.1 and one you got 15.5 which is a very good score.

0:27:220:27:27

So, I can award this trophy...

0:27:270:27:31

to Holly.

0:27:310:27:32

-Yes!

-Well done.

-Wow!

0:27:320:27:34

Thank you!

0:27:340:27:35

Yeah, more importantly, where's my hat?!

0:27:350:27:38

I've not seen your hat.

0:27:380:27:39

Where's my hat?!

0:27:390:27:41

Ed is such a bad loser.

0:27:410:27:42

Holly is now officially my rock guitar hero.

0:27:420:27:45

See, we've been all over the place!

0:27:450:27:49

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:27:570:28:00

E-mail [email protected]

0:28:000:28:03

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