Robin Hood, Meercats and Bird Men! All Over the Place

Your CBBC mates are all over the place in the UK.

It's high noon for Joe.

Ed yo-ho-hos like a pirate.

Polly gets rescued by Rambo and London rubs Ed up with bling.

Hit it.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west on them is our quest

# Me and my mates all over the place It's true what you've heard

# Everything is absurd whatever we do is strange, but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

# But it turns up all over the place. #

This is more like it.

One for me. Are you having one?

-Yes.

-One for Holly and one for the meerkat as well, please.

-What did you just say?

-I just said one for the meerkat.

This appears to not merely be a meerkat, it's a straw meerkat.

And this is not merely a straw meerkat.

It's a giant straw meerkat.

Ed and Holly, you have 36 seconds

to find out as much as you can about the meerkat sculpture.

Ed, you've got Mike, who made the sculpture.

Holly, you've got Chris, whose idea it was to build it.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner. Three, two, one, go!

-Chris.

-Hi.

-The pressure is on.

-OK, to start with, how tall is the meerkat?

-12 metres.

-How did that get erected?

-It got erected with a big 25-tonne crane.

How many times taller is it than a normal meerkat?

-30.

-How far can you see it in the distance?

-About two miles I should say.

-Has it been in the local paper?

-It's been in the paper.

-What are the claws made of?

-Steel.

How many people helped with it?

It was about 14 people involved.

How many people have come to see it this year?

I think about 10,000.

What's it for Mike? What's it for?

-It's to make people happy.

-Where did you get the idea from?

My wife has always loved meerkats.

-Have you ever met a meerkat?

-STOP!

BUZZER

-I hope we got enough.

-I think we did.

And the winner is...

-Holly!

-Oh.

-Yes, I win again.

-How?

Although this straw meerkat lives in Cheshire, real meerkats

live in southern Africa.

Those are big claws.

He won't like British weather, he lives in the Kalahari Desert.

I wonder what it's like to live as a meerkat in the desert.

Come on, kids, rise and shine.

It's a beautiful day.

-Warm yourselves up. Come on.

-Ah, yes, very hot, 45 degrees Celsius,

which if you compare the measurements...

Oh...

..is 113 degrees Fahrenheit.

Whatever, Dad.

The melting point of what, my little meerkats?

-Marshmallows.

-Which is why you can't have them in the Kalahari Desert.

But who needs marshmallows when you have tasty dung beetles?

Dung? They don't sound as tasty.

They are good for you and when you compare the measurements...

Oh...

..3.8 cms for your piece of marshmallow

to 6 cms for your juicy dung beetle.

You're boring the children to sleep.

Oh, so sorry, my little meerkats.

But do try and stay awake.

As we have to keep a constant watch for our predators, such as hawks

who fly high in the sky and, of course, the lions.

Am I a lion, Dad?

No, you are a meerkat.

Meerkats are not really like a cat.

We are more like...

Kylie Minogue?

No, Kylie Minogues are a little bigger.

In fact if you compare the measurements...

Oh...

..there are nearly 66 and a half lady meerkats

to every Kylie Minogue.

Hawk!

Run for your lives!

In London!

Taxi. Hiya.

-All right, mate?

-Hiya.

Is there any good places for lunch in Central London? I'm starving.

I can take you to a place that I go to.

-That sounds great.

-OK, off we go, then.

# Well, let me take you by the hand

# And drag you through the streets of London

# I'll show you something that will make you really sick. #

-So where are you taking me, then?

-It's a little place outside

-the Victoria and Albert Museum.

-They do a good fry-up?

-Yes.

That is what I'm after. Nice bacon sandwich?

Of course. Staple food, that is.

-Ah, lovely. I won't be too long.

-OK, no problem.

-Hello. Table for one, please.

-Sorry we don't serve people like you.

Oh... Bit rude.

-That's our motto.

-No, he ain't being rude, geezer's just having a laugh!

-He wouldn't let me in.

-There's one around the corner.

-I'll take you to that one.

-Good.

It's not exactly what I call customer service.

Where are you taking me now?

Not far, off of Sloane Street.

Oh, he wouldn't let me in.

So how do you get around, then, sat nav?

No, no, it's all in my head.

More about that later. I wonder

what would happen if the knowledge picked a fight with a sat nav.

In the red corner, the young upstart,

the motor mouth himself, Sat Nav!

CHEERING

In three rounds, win fight.

And in the blue corner, the reigning champion of directions,

the London cabbie's right-hand man,

he knows it all, because he's the Knowledge.

I love you, London - 'ave it!

BELL RINGS

And there's the bell. It's a classic case of old versus new.

The knowledge has been around since 1856.

He's as important to London taxi drivers as the

bacon sandwich and a mug of tea that they get in their green cabbie huts.

In one second, left jab.

Left jab.

Is this guy for real?

Boo!

In one second, knock out the knowledge.

But wait... There's a poor GPS signal,

the sat nav can't calculate his next move!

Waiting for GPS signal.

That's bad timing, but not for the knowledge. Ooh!

And keep the change.

The knowledge!

Still the cabbie's champion.

Look at the sat nav. He is not happy.

In one second, storm out of ring crying.

HE CRIES

I hope he's remembered to turn the meter off, Ed.

-Hello, Tracy.

-Hello.

-Got someone with me today.

-Has he got his badge, then?

Afraid not, no.

What's going on?

I manage to get a seat in one of these places.

This is only for licensed cab drivers.

What?

No public allowed, only licensed taxi drivers

allowed in these shelters.

-You basically have been having a laugh with me?

-Yeah.

Yeah, that seems to be a theme on this show, Ed.

-Can we have two teas, please?

-Any sugars?

-No, I don't.

-No, neither do I.

-I'd never noticed these things

before and now I'm seeing them everywhere.

-How many are there?

-I think there's 13 left,

but there was over 60.

-So how many cabbies can you fit in here at one time?

-About 10 or 12.

What do I have to do to be able

to eat in one of these?

The Knowledge of London.

That's when you have to learn every street in the city.

You get a topographical map of the city in your head.

That's hard work for a bacon sandwich.

I'd better finish my tea, then.

Tracy? Thank you so much for letting me in here.

-You're most welcome, any time you're welcome.

-I feel honoured.

-Thank you.

-See you, Tracy.

-Take care.

-Bye.

You see this railing?

This is where they tied up horses

for the horse-drawn cabs in Victorian times.

Oh, right. I can still hear Tracy talking in there!

What are you thinking, what are you thinking, what are you thinking?

Ed, you should check out the tooth section. It's amazing, right?

Apparently the enamel on your teeth is one of the

hardest things in the body.

Really?

Argh!

And the biggest teeth in the world are probably the sperm whale's

which are a kilogram each.

Imagine that, that's the size of a packet of sugar. Ed?

I had an accident.

This is going to be a long afternoon.

Although, I wonder what it would be like if we didn't have any teeth?

If no-one had teeth it would be hard to eat,

because you couldn't chew it, you'd have to suck it.

-You would have to eat baby food.

-If somebody said something nice,

I would be scared to smile with no teeth.

I would nod or give them the thumbs-up.

You couldn't eat, you couldn't talk right. Singers would be rubbish.

# Ooh-hoo-ooh! #

The good thing about not having any teeth would be you wouldn't have to

go to the dentist, or brush them

and you could eat lots of fizzy drinks and sweets.

If you like playing cowboys and Indians,

then you might like to say howdy to this grown-up from Mansfield.

Yee-ha!

Get off your horse and drink some milk.

Put down your nose bag and polish my spurs.

Well, if it isn't the banana bunch!

-Put it there, partner.

-That is some shirt.

-You must be Dennis.

-That's right.

# Rolling, rolling, rolling rolling, rolling, rolling... #

Look at this. It's amazing. Even if you want a cup of tea...

How much time do you spend dressed as a cowboy?

All the time.

What do people think?

Well, I don't know, but they probably think I'm crackers!

BELL RINGS

-What's that?

-It's high noon.

-High noon?

-We'd better take this outside.

-Let's go.

It involves staring at each other,

looking menacing

and then quickest on the draw for the banana.

-Real cowboys' clothes come from cattle.

-Really?

What if you're a vegetarian cowboy?

Cowboys had to live their lives in the great outdoors.

They endured rain, hail, blistering hot sun

and get really nasty chapped lips.

Cowboys could communicate over long distances just by waving a hat.

I think he's saying, "Ooh, look at me, I've got a lovely new hat."

The hat's nice, but the shirt's to die for.

Wake up, Granddad.

-Ooh!

-Pow! Pow!

-Pow! Pow!

-You are not a cowboy.

I sure am.

You're not a proper cowboy, Lucy.

Your outfit's all wrong for a start.

Cowboys didn't have a lot of money,

they took what they could find. They couldn't afford

an expensive hat like that. Go on, take it off.

Try this. It's my old bowler hat.

Oh, yes, yes that's much better.

That shirt is all wrong. Unless you're a country and western singer.

-So what would they wear?

-Mostly second-hand clothes.

Well, I don't have any second-hand clothes. I have got this new stuff.

Ah, well, you're in luck.

My old suit.

Put that on.

Now, there's one more thing that we need, Lucy.

What's the one thing missing from this fun cowboy game?

-Fun?

-No, cows.

Now I haven't got any cows, but I've got you the next best thing.

Sheep?

It's manure from my allotment.

Now you look, sound and smell like a real cowboy.

Dennis, thanks for your time.

Dennis, it's been a pleasure.

You've got a fantastic collection.

We've got you something.

-It's an All Over The Place cowboy hat.

-Very nice.

-I'll try it on.

-You look handsome.

-The handsome cowboy.

-Thank you.

I've got to go. I left the horse on a double yellow line.

-Oh, come on, let's go.

-Bye.

You can walk normal now, mate.

Not really, I had a bit of an accident earlier.

I don't get it. Ed asked me to come to South Shields

so he could show me some incredible caves, but he hasn't even shown up.

-Where is he?

-Argh!

Argh!

-Argh.

-OK, let's go.

# By the sea in Tyne and Wear

# A secret cave you'll find my dear

# And things that fill your heart with fear

# It's called Marsden Grotto

# Where pirate stash could disappear

# And smugglers would quaff their beer

# All manner of things have gone on here

# Down in Marsden Grotto

# Jack the Blaster made these caves

# Ooh! Ooh!

# A smuggler's respite from the waves

# Argh! Argh!

# The terrors in your head, I plant

# Dare you go in? I bet you can't

# Oh, look, now it's a restaurant! Still called Marsden Grotto... #

What?

Hang on.

# Don't get comfy in that chair

# I've got tales that are bound to scare

# A foolish smuggler once sat there

# Here in Marsden Grotto

# They say this fool betrayed his friends

# And came unto a sticky end

# A death too bleak to comprehend

# Here in Marsden Grotto

# When they excavated his ground

# Ooh! Ooh!

# 18 skeletons they found. Argh!

# Argh! The ghost down here can haunt your dreams

# And you can hear dead smuggler's screams

# Do you fancy cake or shall we get ice cream?

# Here in the Marsden Grotto

# Imagine way back in the past

# Pirates came for booze and grub

# But not everything can last

# Because now it's a nice gastro pub

# I'm feeling slightly foolish, me Are you scared?

-# No, siree.

-In which case I'll have an eclair and a cup of tea

# BOTH: Down in Marsden Grotto. Argh! #

Ha ha!

I'm here at the Robin Hood Festival in Sherwood Forest.

It's what people round here like to do to entertain themselves.

And, to attract a bit of attention,

I've decided to dress up as someone from medieval times.

Ed, the Merry Men ain't looking too merry.

All right, there's no need to show off.

Nice medieval music. This is the 26th Annual Robin Hood Festival.

Morning. This is exactly what it was like a medieval times,

apart from the fairground rides.

And the PA system.

And the burger vans. Actually, it was nothing like this at all.

Ed, you're wearing a bucket.

Right. This is ridiculously heavy.

Not one as big as Friar Tuck, that would be ridiculous.

Hat off. You watch. Jay, here, mate!

-There you go.

-Argh!

Oh, no! Don't lift his wig off!

You're probably looking for someone who's robbing from the rich

-and giving to the poor.

-Yeah.

-Yeah. Well, I just wanted to tell you, it's not me.

-Right, OK.

Just wipe me off that list of suspects.

But you might want to have a word with them.

Listen up, these be the well amazing tales

of Robin the Hood, boy!

I is Rob and this is my hood.

Sherwood Forest Massive.

That right there is my homies, the Merry Men.

-And women.

-Yeah, all right.

I don't want you disrespecting me on television.

I wasn't. Merry Men sounds better.

-Whatever.

-That there's Maid Marion,

-she's like my wifey and stuff. She's well bossy.

-Oi!

What? I was just saying, is all.

It ain't no bad thing. Right, let me explain.

I do steal stuff, guilty.

But I'm not some criminal, like Becky's cousin Dave.

I, like, steal from the rich and I totally give to the poor.

Yeah, but what about your bling, though?

I was just looking after it.

You're just like the Sheriff of Nottingham, he's always, like,

"Oh, you've got to give that stuff back."

He harasses me. He's well out of order.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever. Can I do my thing now?

Marion writes rap and that.

She's written a verse about life here in the forest.

She's well keen to burn you with it, if that's cool? Hit it!

RAPS: My hood's Sherwood Trees are made from fir wood

Except the mighty oak tree I guess that's made from oak leaves

Or maybe it is elm trees I never got to look

Deciduous, evergreen it doesn't even matter to me

The best thing about Sherwood is the fact you get to hug a tree.

Word.

This tree behind me is called the Major Oak and they reckon

it's 800 to 1,000 years old.

It's 11 metres in diameter

and 16 metres high and some people think that Robin Hood

and his Merry Men hid in the hollow middle.

I've entered myself into the Silver Arrow competition.

You get three chances to shoot an arrow into the target,

best man wins.

I've got my own bow and everything!

I've got arrows, I've got the whole lot. I've got the costume!

Yes! Yes, this is my moment!

Or so legend has it. Ed the Hood has never even used a bow.

Oh, no! It shot right off.

I hit it, I hit it.

What was that then? Seven. The lowest score!

In last place, ladies and gentlemen, Ed the Hood.

Last place!

Last place!

Worst position, best costume.

This is gross. What are we even doing here?

We're by the seaside. This is fun. We're having fun.

I don't see why taking your shoes off

and walking through boggy sand is fun.

It's boggy wet sand by the sea, therefore it is fun.

-Can't we do something else?

-What?

I don't know, just something more exciting.

This isn't what I had in mind.

When I said exciting, I was thinking about something a bit more extreme.

What about flying, but without planes?

-Is that extreme enough for you?

-Oh, ha ha, very funny, Ed(!)

Seagulls fly, pigs can sometimes fly, but humans can't fly.

That's where you're wrong, Holly.

We won't send our CBBC mates off on their own.

Holly and Ed will each be jumping with a partner.

So, Joel, you're going to be my

bird-man partner today. What am I doing here?

-We'll go right to the top of the pier.

-Right.

There's going to be a nasty soldier in the helicopter.

Who are you going to be?

-Me? I'm Rambo today.

-So, Rambo is going to save me today.

That's the plan. That's the craft we're flying.

You reckon we can fly in this?

No. No, to be fair, but we'll give it a good shot.

I'm with Andy. I'm going to be jumping with him today.

There's no skirting around this issue, really.

Do you want me to wear a skirt?

We were thinking maybe Zac Efron?

What's our contraption going to be?

-We're using my pom-poms.

-You're having a laugh!

It's really high! I can't begin to think how I'll have

the courage. You're going to have time to consider falling.

Andy said there's good time to think while...

You're thinking, "Why am I doing this?" as you're dropping.

I'm going to be one of the only people

without something to jump with. I'll look stupid.

At least you can swim off.

Andy has two pom-poms. That's all we're going to fly with.

Ed, I wouldn't worry about looking stupid in this crowd.

Time to discuss last-minute tactics.

We are now preparing for the big jump.

It's literally minutes away.

If I do a cheeky pass and go, whoo, and pretend to throw it in.

You'll be, "I want to catch that" and we'll jump.

-OK.

-Yeah? And do you want to do it on the one, two, three?

Maybe as I throw it, we both jump.

Everybody seems calm about this. I mean,

the Queen's there. She looks perfectly fine.

I think I'm the only person who's nervous.

It's a good job the real Red Arrows don't fly like that!

We blew most of the programme's budget on bringing the real ones in.

Good luck, ma'am. Good luck.

I like the Queen, she get mucked in,

-like the rest of us. Yeah. There she goes!

-There goes the Queen!

Well done, ma'am.

We're going first.

We're going first, and furthest.

-No, I think yours is going straight down.

-No, no, no.

-Whereas our craft is going to go straight out.

-Your craft!

We're in a helicopter.

I didn't realise there were

screens where everyone could see us in close-up.

Yeah, 20,000 people.

Don't worry about those

on the beach. Think of the millions watching on telly.

To pieces.

It's only there, look.

Only there?! It's a massive drop, Andy.

It's Ed's turn, or should I say Zac's turn?

-I'm with the ugliest cheerleader I've ever seen.

-In the world!

I'm from CBBC. I'm a presenter

called Ed Petrie and I'm dressed as Zac Efron from High School Musical.

I've got my head in the game.

Prepare to be blown away, Worthing, prepare.

Go, Ed! Go, Ed!

Give me an E to the D to the water.

He really... Did he belly flop that?

No, he went straight in.

If anything, he should have jumped

just to save some dignity after that whole basketball...

-It's like something out of a bad Baywatch.

-Well done, Zac.

Oh, they make a lovely couple.

I feel pretty panicky about this.

-Holly, are you OK?

-No, I've been taken hostage.

Sorry, Holly, you're on your own, darling.

-Oh, who can help her now?

-No!

-It's Rambo!

It's Rambo.

Did he hit him there? I think he did.

Get in the helicopter, that's it.

-It's a clear take off.

-Away you go!

Here we go. Here we go!

Oh, Holly!

Oh, and it's a landing on water. Look at the action replay there.

She's done well, but has she jumped further than Ed?

A quick jet ski to the shore and we'll find out.

I came back full of adrenaline and cleaned up

and I found out a bit of bad news.

Holly landed in a bit of a strange way with her helicopter

and she hurt her elbow.

She's OK, but, yeah, it's a bit of a sad end to the day, really.

Still, I did land

10 centimetres further than her, so, technically, I am the winner.

This is mine.

Whoo!

Sorry, it's not really appropriate.

It's not, but jumping off a pier

with a hairy cheerleader isn't either,

so let's just say a win's a win. Well done, fella.

You've been watching All Over The Place!

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