Gnomes, Lighthouses and Bed Racing! All Over the Place

Join your CBBC mates on the UK's strangest road trip.

Ed and Holly discover there's no place like gnome,

London's having a hairy day, Joe's trapped underground...

Hello? Hello?!

Barney visits a house in the clouds, and we're off bed racing.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

-# But it turns up...

-# All over the place! #

I'm looking forward to this. I've never been somewhere named after me.

-What, Knaresborough?

-No, not Knaresborough.

-The River Nidd?

-I'm not called Nidd, am I?

"Oh, hello, I'm Mr Nidd."

You're not called Mother Shipton either.

No, but we're going to Old Mother Shipton's "Petrie-fying" well.

It's not "Petrie-fying", Ed. It's pronounced "pet-rifying".

I prefer to pronounce it "Petrie-fying".

What is a petrifying well, anyway?

Well, it's not a "Petrie".

And you could say it's dripping with the stuff.

Wait for it, wait for it!

Things like teddy bears, masks, ice skates...

more teddy bears, teapots...

Yeah, basically anything that can be hung up on a line.

Honestly, Holly, he did some terrible things, this bear.

-He deserves to be punished.

-Where are you going to hang him?

Just up there.

He stole all the jam from the teddy bear's picnic.

It's not really magic. What happens is...

Three months?

That's ages!

Well, I guess it is worth the wait.

ED WHISTLES

-So we're just going to stay here for the whole of that time, yeah?

-Yep.

-What happens if we need the l...?

-Uh uh uh.

-What happens if we...?

-Uh uh uh.

-I think I might go and look at the wishing well.

-Yeah, whatever.

This is not just any wishing well.

I bet Holly's thinking, "I wish Ed's breath didn't smell so much!"

What did you wish for?

Um, er... I wished for it to be three months' time

-so that we could see the teddy bear turn to stone.

-Good idea.

And, as if by magic, fluffy bear turns to stone bear.

-Hey, Holly, look at that.

-Wow!

The teddy bear's been petrified.

My wish came true! Three months have passed and it's turned to stone.

Wow!

It's a shame Mother Shipton couldn't improve your breath.

What?

'If only Mother Shipton was alive today,

'she could've looked into my future.'

In this cave so warm and snuggly,

here I sit, so old and ugly.

Predicting futures so precise, and they rhyme which is...

..nice.

Not one of my best ones but it'll do.

-Hello!

-Oh!

Why didn't you knock?

Because this is a cave. You don't have a door.

Don't be picky. What do you want?

I've heard you can predict the future.

I knew you were going to say that.

Prove it.

And that.

I don't need to prove it. I've been predicting the future since 1500.

What, three o'clock?

No, 1500 the year! Not the time.

Well, can you predict my future, then?

-Piece of cake.

-Go on, then.

Just did it. Piece of cake.

You will bring me a piece of cake.

Er... No, I won't.

Oh. Oh, that's a shame. I like cake.

I'm starting to think you can't actually read the future.

I knew you were going to say that.

Mmm, that Devonshire tea was delicious.

Yeah, the jam, the cream...

Mm mm mm!

FOGHORN

-Ed! That's disgusting.

-What?

FOGHORN

And again! Have you got no manners? And in front of me as well!

-Seriously, seriously, that wasn't me.

-What was it, then?

-I don't know.

Maybe it was that.

It was designed by...

you've guessed it... someone called Smeaton.

Ed and Gemma!

You have 38 seconds to learn as much as you can about Smeaton's Tower.

Ed, you have Nigel, who knows all about history.

And, Gemma, you have Ken, who knows all about lighthouses.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three, two, one, go!

-Hello! I've got loads of questions about the lighthouse.

-OK, go.

Why is it called a lighthouse? It looks really heavy to me.

-How big is this thing?

-This one's 80 feet tall.

-80 feet? What's that in metres?

-It's about 26 metres.

-I'm impressed.

Is it open to the public?

It is open to the public and has been since 1884.

-Exactly what's it made out of?

-It's made out of granite.

-What's granite?

-Granite is a very hard stone.

-What's it doing here?

-It was rebuilt on Plymouth Hoe in 1884.

-What's the exact name of the red and the white paints?

-Don't know.

-Ah!

Why is it red and white?

Lighthouses were painted red and white in the 1860s

-so they would work as a day mark...

-STOP!

..as well as being seen at night, when lit.

-Thanks for that.

-Thank you. Very good.

-You think?

-I think so.

Oh, let's see how Gemma did.

And the person who found out the most facts is...

Ed!

There's nobody more surprised than us, Gemma.

What a great-looking lighthouse.

Imagine you were a lighthouse keeper and didn't know it had moved!

-I've got a game we can play!

-What?

Riddles!

-OK.

-There was a man, and he lived in a big, tall, lonely house.

He went to bed, but before he went to bed, he turned off all the lights.

When he woke up in the morning, he'd been unexpectedly sacked!

Why?

Answer my riddle and be quick. I need a pee.

Is it because...

he lived in a lighthouse

and when he turned off the lights, he caused a boat to crash and sink?

Ha-ha! No... Oh, yes.

Well done.

And he was only trying to reduce his carbon footprint.

The environment, safe sailing. You just can't win.

You really need to get out more.

Impossible. We'd be swept off the Eddystone Rocks by a giant wave

and into the icy waters.

Actually, I think we should go out.

Also, I don't like getting my hair wet, so it's not an option.

Look, let's just stand outside for a second

-and breathe some of that fresh sea air.

-OK, let's go outside.

But we'll be swept away! Swept away into the depths.

Swept away into the depths of the...

..green... The sea!

-How long's it been like this?

-For about 128 years.

No, I mean how long since it was evaporated by global warming?

I warned them all! You fools!

Turn off your lights! Turn off your lights!

It's not a good place to be if you're scared of small places.

Small but perfectly formed, you'll find.

I do like the old, er...

coat hooks. Or could they be picture hooks or something?

No, no, these are for the braces.

The lighthouse was designed to sway in high winds

but when they first built it, it moved a bit too much.

So, for the first few years living here, it would really rock around,

so they had these here and put iron strips on to keep the tower solid.

I'll follow you up here but I'll keep a distance.

What? It's all right. I didn't have curry last night.

This is the kitchen. This is where they spent most of their time.

Oh, right. So where's the dishwasher, then?

Er... You've got a lead-lined sink and a stove. That's your lot.

I wonder if they sent out for takeaways?

-Where are the beds?

-Ah-ha! They are right there.

They're called cot beds.

I quite like the idea of hardened lighthouse keepers sleeping in cots.

Oh, yeah, weird. Oh, yes.

Oi! Argh! Ow!

Maybe you can get a better look from inside.

Oh, Gemma!

He-he-he!

-Oi, this isn't funny!

-Ah, there you are.

Have a nice sleep, did we, Petrie?

-To be fair, that was quite funny.

-Ha-ha! Right, hold onto this.

We're in the most important part of the lighthouse.

The bell-ringing section?

No, the lantern. We'll lower the chandelier and change the candles.

Every half hour, they'd have to check on the candles

and trim the wick if it got too long,

cos it burned down so quickly, or replace the whole candle.

More when it was someone's birthday.

-I know this is a lighthouse but it's getting quite dark!

-Yeah.

-I think we should go home.

-Come on, then.

-Oh, hang on.

I think I just felt it move again. Stay very, very still.

FOGHORN

Oh, Ed! Seriously, mate, that is not cool! Ohh!

I told you, it wasn't me!

It clearly wasn't me!

You know it wasn't me, don't you?

Yeah, we do, Ed. We know it was a foghorn really.

But now we're off to Cheshire.

Oh, come on, Ed. There's got to be something better to do in Cheshire!

Joe, you never know what treasure you'll find with one of these.

CRASH!

What have you found?

Well, Joe, Ed's found...

..which has nothing to do with golf.

..if aliens had invaded the UK.

Only joking.

They would actually run the country from here...

I thought that, as I was the first person to set foot in here,

-I'd get first dibs on rooms.

-No, no, that's not fair.

-We should...toss a coin.

-No, come on. I want this one.

Hello, hello! Hello? Anybody there?

-Ballistic Missile Early Warning System.

-What does that mean?

I don't know but it doesn't sound very good.

Hold up, look at that. There's a nice red button.

ALARM

-Why did you do that?!

-I thought it would help! It's a red button.

Why are you going round sticking your fingers into things?

Just leave them alone. Are you like this with your...?

Oh!

That's because, up until now,

there were no Joe Swashes down here pressing red buttons.

-Arrest him, officer. He's been pressing buttons.

-It wasn't me.

No, no, no, I'm not a policeman.

I'm the director here. I look after the place.

Is it still operational?

No, it stopped working in 1993 and became a museum.

What is there down here that can keep people alive?

The walls are thick concrete.

They're over a metre thick and protected against nuclear blast,

so that would enable them to survive a nuclear attack.

The bunker is 50 metres underground, which is about 32 Kylie Minogues.

Wow, Ed, this room looks like it's important. Do you know what it does?

With my extensive knowledge I've learnt in the last hour,

this was the early-warning room.

They had four minutes to tell people about the bomb leaving, say...

I don't know...Russia, to being detonated over the country.

So, for a room that's so important, why have they given it such

a silly name, as in Bikini?

That's just some random word they chose

-for the warning.

-Just a random word?

It wasn't something they actually wanted you to do?

No, Joe. You don't have to wear a bikini!

That would be quite silly, if someone...

-put a bikini on, wouldn't it?

-Yeah.

Let's pretend we've got four minutes. What message do you want to get out?

Hello, do you deliver in four minutes?

I'll be stuck in a secret nuclear bunker for three months.

How much curry can you fit in the car?

Could I have a load of sweets, please?

You don't think it's a good idea to eat curry in a confined space?

Well, the bunker did have its own air and water supply, Ed, so you can

order just about anything you like, although good luck to

the delivery boy finding a secret location.

The bunker was large enough for 120 people to live there

for three months.

-Another communications room.

-Yeah.

-This place goes on and on, doesn't it?

-It's massive.

Do you know how big it is? It's approximately 3,500 square metres.

-Very informative.

-It is.

-Just think of all

the millions they spent on this place and they never even needed it.

We'd better go before they shut the bunker doors.

I don't want to get shut in here with you for three months.

Do you keep a collection in your garden? If you do,

you might like what this grown-up collects in Devon.

Ed, check it out!

-Oh, that is a good one.

-Ssh, keep your voice down! We don't

want to scare it off. I've seen them in captivity but never in the wild.

There's one over there without a beard and it's walking around.

Ed, that isn't a gnome. That's Ann Atkin.

32 years collecting, over 2000 in the collection.

-Hello there.

-Hello. I think I "gnome" your name.

Is it Ann Atkin?

It is, and you must be Ed and Holly.

We've just been admiring your gnomes.

-They're lovely. Can we have a look?

-Uh-uh, wait a minute. Gnome hats?

-Right, have to wear these, do we?

-Everyone has to wear them, do they?

It's embarrassing for the gnomes if you don't.

We wouldn't want to offend them.

I think it's a bit late for that. Look, their cheeks are scarlet!

Now, there are three different types of gnomes - worker gnomes...

Not getting much done there. Oh, leisure gnomes.

My kind of gnome, lying about.

Then there's the ones that like nothing more than

reading a good book and watching a classic movie like Gnome Alone!

That'll be the culture gnomes.

What's your favourite one?

A rather ugly one, really, but I'm very fond of him.

That's Siegfried there. He's my favourite.

Is this where you grow your gnomes? They're all green.

These one have been here for 33 years, and I like them cos

you have to look twice to see if it's a gnome or a tree.

-So how do you get these gnomes?

-Most of the gnomes in the woods, we made.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-That's very kind of you, to make

the gnomes and then set them free.

-Holly, there's a girl.

-I thought it was men "gnomely".

-No.

-Oh, bad!

-And there's a bus stop as well. I haven't seen a

bus come past all day.

Well, you haven't seen one all day.

I haven't seen one in 32 years.

If the bus did turn up, where would they be going anyway?

Gnome-body knows!

This doesn't make any sense any more.

-That was a better one.

-Did you used to have a lot of fish?

Cos they like fishing, don't they?

Fish are usually pretty safe cos they usually come

with their own fish.

The Museum of Phe-gnome-enally Good Facts. Eh?!

I thought they'd have run out of gnome puns by now.

Gnomes have existed in folklore for centuries

but it was only 170 years ago that the first garden gnomes came along.

The first one was made in Germany by Phillip Griebel,

but were brought over to the UK in 1847 by Sir Charles Isham, who

put them in his garden. One of Charles Isham's original gnomes

is now worth more than a million pounds.

Back in Germany, the family of Phillip Griebel

continue to make gnomes to this day, which means this pricey little fella

now has quite a few million cousins.

Hmm. I was just thinking, what would it

be like to be a gnome for the day?

-Have you caught anything?

-No. You?

No.

Been here long?

-Er, what time is it?

-Four o'clock.

-Four o'clock. So I've been here...

one, one and a half, two...

12 years. You?

Same. Same.

I'm starting to think there might not be any fish in this pond.

Well, I think you might be right.

But that's actually a blessing in disguise.

-You reckon?

-Yes. Yes, I do, because think about it. We're 20cm tall.

If we catch a fish, they're massive.

We catch one, we're in trouble.

Maybe we should give fishing up.

Well, I would but what else are we going to do?

I could write that opera I've been talking about.

Or I could learn to jet-ski. Borrow Frank's.

What? Frank hasn't got a jet-ski.

I stand corrected.

# Way back in the year of 1923

# There was a gentleman named Stuart Ogilvie

# He built a water tower for the town of Thorpeness

# With a tank that held 50,000 gallons of the stuff...more or less

# So that the tower didn't stick out like a sore thumb

# Something remarkable clearly had to be done

# To make it look quite nice for people who lived near

# He decided to disguise it as a very tall house

# What a strange idea

# This house is in the middle of the sky

# This house is over 20 metres high

# This house, from the bottom to the top

# This house, there's a 70-foot drop

# A poet, Mrs Mason, lived beneath the tank

# And for its present name, it's her we have to thank

# When she clapped eyes on it, she proudly said out loud

# I hereby christen this place The House In The Clouds

# The local villagers were really very pleased

# To them it looked just like a cottage in the trees

# Architecturally it's what's known as a folly

# Which is a nice way of saying

# That the bloke who built it was probably off his trolley

# This house standing proudly on the ground

# This house can be seen from miles around

# This house There is nowhere else the same

# This house So look out all low-flying planes

# It's now been renovated, the tank is long gone

# Although it did survive a hit from a bomb

# You can rent it now Come for a holiday

# Cos you're above the clouds It's always a nice day

# This house There is nowhere else compares

# This house Because most of it's upstairs

# This house Think you've probably got the drift

# This house could really do with a lift. #

If you find yourself in Kent and you

need to check the time, why not try this?

The Chatham sundial.

Can't say it's proved much use to me.

Maybe you need to visit on a summer's day.

I could come back in July. That's the sunniest month in England, you know.

Hottest day ever recorded in the UK was in Kent.

38.5 degrees.

That's as hot as the sun!

Well, it is if you multiply it by 156 times.

This may not be the best country

to live in if you like the sun.

But some sun's better than none.

Imagine what it would be like if there wasn't any sun at all.

It would be great if there was no sun, then we would all live

on the moon and all the aliens would get shipped back the Earth.

Day would be night cos the moon would be

brighter, so then at night it would be daytime.

They're going to build cars that are rockets so you can just

drive up to space, have a wee turn, then come back.

Or they can just make massive escalators to the moon.

Or you could just eat lots of carrots.

You'd eat cheese cos the moon's made out of cheese.

Moon cheese.

We're in Knaresborough which is in Yorkshire.

Yeah, and you better watch out cos Yorkshire was the last

-county to burn a witch at the stake.

-What's that got to do with me?

-Nothing.

-That's cos we're actually here for the Knaresborough bed race.

The Knaresborough bed race happens once a year,

which is just as well, as no-one gets any sleep on race day.

The race is three miles long and it goes through the town

and even a river.

This is my team. Hello, guys.

Hurray!

Ed's team is the Oatland Infants' School.

All right, I'm ready to run, I'm all warmed up.

Our bed is a courtroom at the front and a jail at the back there.

-What are you in prison for?

-I took someone's lollipop away from them.

You deserve everything you've got.

You even have your nice T-shirt here.

Oh, look, they've put my face on a T-shirt.

Has Holly's team put her face on a T-shirt? I bet not.

-Nidd Valley Ladies!

-Yeah!

Holly's team are the Nidd Valley Ladies.

We're going to parade through the town with the bed.

I was led to believe that I was sleeping in the bed and I was

-going to wake up a winner.

-You're going to have to steer.

-So I'll have to do all the Formula One moves?

-Yeah.

Before the race, the beds are paraded around

this sleepy little town.

It's the first time I've pushed a bed through the streets of Knaresborough.

It's done for charity as well.

So far we've got 11p. Come on, burglars!

Yeah, get the slave labour working.

Oh, a horse-powered bed. How bizarre.

My team are amazing, but I've got to drive it.

I mean, I wonder if Jenson Button gets this scared before a race.

Oh, now we've got to take it all to pieces.

Yeah, it comes off quickly.

-This is the good bit.

-Ah, more people waving and looking happy.

This is the fastest bed in the west.

You reckon? I think my bed's going to beat you,

because I hear you're not even running.

-You're going to be sitting on it.

-I'm sitting on it.

Right, OK, look, sitting on ours, we've got a little girl, so...

-What are you saying?

-I'm not saying you eat too

many pies or anything, but you're heavier than a little girl.

The beds have to be stripped down before they're allowed to race.

Sorry, just stripping our bed down.

Sorry about that.

Sorry, Holly. Sorry.

I can see why they were wearing crash helmets now.

The guys are going to show me the river. This is the end of the course.

We've got to push a bed through a river.

-It looks quite deep.

-It is quite deep.

You'll be able to wade for about five metres that side, and probably

about five, ten metres this side,

then we have to swim through the middle.

-Wish me luck!

-Holly's off. We're switching to bed-cam.

91 teams take part, which is a lot of sleepyheads and beds.

Feeling a bit nervous now.

I can't believe Holly Walsh gets to sit down. It's so unfair.

-Stop talking, start running.

-Let's race that bed!

Ed's off!

Each team must have six runners

and one passenger, four pillows, a duvet cover and...

I lied about the last bit there.

And here's Holly looking quite relaxed.

I'm actually tired just looking at her.

Well, actually, I'm more tired looking at Ed. Look at him run.

Hello, girls!

Holly's just sitting there. Ed's doing very well.

Ed's team's looking pretty good.

He could do well in this race.

Oh, no, Ed's wet the bed!

I think you're supposed to do that, though. There's Holly's team.

They're nowhere near the water.

Ed is in the lead.

-Arrgh!

-That wasn't pleasant.

This is the hardest thing I've done in my life!

Really, Ed? You need to get out more.

You're just pushing a bed with wheels on it.

Oh, Holly's in the water, and Ed's at the finish line.

It's the best time they've ever done it!

We're nearly there! Come on! Come on!

We're so close, we're so close.

We can do this!

I think it's crazy, but it's great.

-Fantastic.

-I love it, now it's over.

And at last, here come Holly's team to the finishing line.

That was incredible. I can't take any credit for this.

This is entirely the work of the Nidd Valley Ladies.

They've absolutely stormed it.

I'm amazed.

I can't believe we beat you!

And let's look back at some of Ed's best bits.

His team finished 19th with a time of 16 minutes and 46 seconds.

Holly's team finished 64th,

with a time of 21 minutes and eight seconds.

Well, Holly, there's winning and there's winning. And, because

of me, the Oatland Infants' School team got their fastest time ever.

Oh, really, Ed(!) Maybe you want to keep going on about it all evening.

-Just keep talking about it.

-OK, I will.

I'm the champion, Holly Walsh is the loser.

People of Knaresborough, form an orderly queue here to see my trophy.

OK, why don't we look at it another way, yeah?

I got to spend the whole day in bed, so who's the real winner?

No, you're just a lazy loser.

You've been watching All Over The Place!

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