Leeches, Scarecrows and Racing Hens! All Over the Place

This is the UK's strangest road trip, with all your CBBC mates!

Dick and Dom get attacked by crows. Miss London snogs a frog!

You're not kissing me!

Johny and Ed get sea sick, and leeches get their teeth into Holly.

Yes!

# All over the place

# North, South, East, West On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place, all over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

# But it turns up... #

We're on a leech farm.

SHE SCREAMS

Calm down, calm down!

We're not even inside yet.

Oh yeah. Good point.

But now that we are inside, there are thousands of the bloodsuckers.

In fact...

Ahh, look at this, Holly.

-Lots of lovely leeches.

-Ew! Gross!

Here's Carl, the leech farm manager, to tell us more.

Well, we need leeches to remove blood.

We send them to hospitals, whenever they need to do a skin graft

or reattach things, they still use leeches.

It's got anaesthetic, so you can't feel anything.

Feeds for 20 minutes, takes ten times its weight in blood,

drops off, and the hole bleeds for about ten hours.

It's the leeches' saliva that helps blood, which is blocked or clotted,

to flow again.

So if I lost my finger in a horrible accident,

in some cases they'd use leeches

to keep the blood going in the finger, while they attached it?

-Yes, that's right.

-So basically keeping it alive?

-Yeah.

-Sure you don't wanna have a go?

-Oh, OK.

It's not that bad really, is it?

It's, like, it's got the consistency... This is disgusting!

-It's got the consistency of a big bogey.

-Yeah.

-If I wanted to take a souvenir home, how much would a leech cost?

-Up to about £10 each.

And you've got 50,000 of them?

Wow. I'm starting to look at leeches very differently.

# Medicinal leeches... #

Oh, no! Someone's had reconstructive surgery,

but the veins aren't drawing the blood away properly.

# Medicinal leeches to the rescue. #

-Look! It's Hirudo medicinalis!

-Awesome!

-What's that?

-Medicinal Euro leeches!

They've got 32 brains, three jaws and 300 teeth.

-Each! BOTH:

-Yeah!

Multi-jaws!

Cool. That medicinal leech is injecting the patient with

anticoagulants and anaesthetics.

# They make the blood thin and numb the pain. #

Yeah! Pain.

-Bodacious!

-Doctors use leeches to drain away unwanted blood.

Watch as they get fat, sucking up to five times their own body weight!

Watch as ultimate medicinal leeches grow up to half a metre!

OK, that takes ages.

But these leeches will be ultimately

awesome and medicinal for up to 12 years.

# Then they die. #

Dead!

-Yes!

-And these guys are gals too!

That's right, all leeches are male and female at the same time!

# Two in one. #

-Double fun!

-Hermaphrodites!

Yeah!

# Medicinal leeches. #

Warning, medicinal leeches are not available in stores and only used in medicine. Not suitable for children.

Oh. Don't know what those are doing in there.

Skid marks.

-Very good.

-Let me have a look.

'Uh-oh, The car's broken down.'

Ah, that's it. We've just run out of oil, mate.

-Just need to get to the garage.

-A garage?!

I'm not paying those kind of prices.

If we need oil, just pay a visit to one of those.

Those, or rather these, are oil rigs, in the Cromarty Firth.

What's a firth?

Do you see, do you see? No? Never mind.

-Yoo-hoo!

-Taxi!

-Yoo-hoo!

Watch out, here's a wave coming!

Told you.

Which is tres, tres deep, innit!

-Do get seasick sometimes.

-Really?

-Yeah.

-OK, if you just stand over there.

-Yeah, OK.

-And I'll just...

-If I am, can I mop it up afterwards with your scarf?

-Definitely not.

Oil rigs come from all over the world to park in the Cromarty Firth.

I wonder if they have as much trouble parking

as I do at the supermarket. In here, mate!

Oh, you don't want to leave it there, you'll get a parking ticket.

Ed and Johny!

You each have 32 seconds to find out as much as you can about

the Cromarty Firth and its oil rigs.

Johny, you have Captain Ken Gray who works at the port.

Ed, you've got Iain Dunderdale, who knows all about the Firth.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner! three, two, one, go!

-Hello, Iain! I'm here to ask you lots of questions about oil rigs.

-OK.

-Um, how many are there in the Firth?

-Five.

-What's the max oil rigs you can have at one time?

-15.

-What are they made out of?

-Steel.

Right, can people sleep on them?

-Yes.

-What kind of vessels usually use this space?

Tankers, boat carriers, general cargo ships.

-How long is the Firth?

-19 miles.

-Is it dangerous being on an oil rig?

-It can be.

-How deep is the firth?

-55 metres.

-Do you have to be insured to be on a rig?

-Yes.

Is a firth more than a fourth?

It's just a Scottish word for a fjord.

Ah, more questions, c'mon, c'mon!

-What's that?

-That's a bit of tape.

Stop!

I think we did all right, Ken, thanks.

And the person who found out the most facts is...

Ed!

Yeah!

That is not fair!

-Oh, I've been duped!

-Whoa!

-Look at that.

-Look at that!

-It's a big one.

-That's amazing.

It's got the name Galaxy 1 painted on.

Quite appropriate, as it looks like a space station!

Yeah. Or some kind of battle station from the future,

and we're ninjas, and we've got to get a diamond... Taking it too far?

You're getting a bit carried away.

It's quite amazing that big thing is being supported by

-these small, spindly little legs in there as well.

-Yeah.

So if you're sitting at home now and you're nice and warm inside,

you've got these to thank, because they provide

80% of the gas that heats our homes.

Can we go on there and get some oil for our car?

No you can't, they wouldn't let you on. Plus the oil they get out

of the ground, what they find, is crude oil, you can't put

-crude oil in your car.

-We've wasted our time.

Shall we just go to the petrol station?

-Yes.

-Very good.

Whilst the boys are filling up at the petrol station,

I think it's time for a challenge.

Let's play...

With Slick Rick!

We're going to be meeting Debbie.

She'll be taking the Ooh! Oil! Challenge.

Coming!

Let's find out how much oil she uses.

Well. We're inside Debbie's... Well, I guess you'd call it a home.

Do you use any oil in your home, Debbie?

Erm, no. No, I don't.

Course you use oil!

There's lots of oil in your home!

You use it in your shampoo,

in your washing-up liquid,

in your non-stick frying pan,

in your cling film, in your plastic toilet brush.

You even use it in your make-up.

And oil tastes delicious when poured

-over a healthy bowl of cornflakes.

-Really?

-No!

Now, Debbie, what about your children?

Do your children need oil?

Er...yes?

Are they robot children?

Are they half-machine, half-child?

OK, no, they don't need oil.

Course they need oil! They need it in their school, Debbie.

They use it in their plastic rulers,

in their pens, in their ink.

The oily list goes on.

Well, in that case

I'll take your oil, I'll take some.

-You can't take it.

-Well, I'm going to take it. No, I'm taking it.

Why don't you take the Ooh! Oil! Challenge

and find out how much oil you use?

"Oil" bet you'll be really amazed.

We're in Craster, a small fishing village in Northumberland,

and I've got something here that's smoking!

# Whoa

# This house is on fire

# Calm down, Ed, it's not as it appears

# This house has been smoking for a hundred years

# A hundred years? You're joking? Wow!

# You'd think the fire brigade would have got here by now

# It's not a fire, it's just an illusion

# I need more information, this is quite confusing

-# Why is there smoke pouring out of the roof?

-It's smoking fish

# Are you telling the truth? Because, whoa

# Looks like it's on fire

# It looks like it is, but it isn't... OK?

# Come in the smoking house and see

# I'll grab my pipe and be there in three

# Not that kind of smoking, listen to this

# It's a smoking house for smoking fish

# Smoking fish

# A disgusting thought

# Er, how do they light cigarettes under water?

# I'm becoming quite irritated with your behaviour

# They're smoking fish to give them flavour. #

Oh.

But...

# Whoa. #

-Not again, Ed.

-# Looks like it's on fire... #

Yes, we've established that. Now get inside.

# This machine splits the fish in double-quick time

# Then they're soaked in this salty solution called brine

# Then hung on hooks over smoking wood

# After 16 hours they taste really good... #

HE COUGHS Think these are just about done.

# Whoa

# So it's not on fire? #

No, it's not.

As I have said several times, since the beginning of this song.

# Whoa

# Turns out I'm a liar. #

Someone said there was a fire?

Er, yes. That was me.

Well, seems a shame to waste this.

What am I doing here?

"Go to Flamstead", people said, "You'll have a lovely day out."

Really, really? Look at that!

The people who live here have been turned into statues! It's a curse!

It's the curse of Flamstead! It's the only explanation...

it's the only explanation as to what's going on here.

Course, that could be another explanation.

Ed, you're such a scaredy-cat!

Which is perfect for this location.

I think this one's been eating the competition.

That's cheating, y'know! I'll have a word with the judges.

The judges would only say "You own that garden!"

This and other scarecrows are placed all around the village.

This is amazing. It's like an animatronic, robot...

Oh, it's just a dog.

This is actually a crow in disguise.

Look, y'see! You're not fooling anyone! You're not fooling anyone!

I know what you're up to.

All right, Ed, no need to crow about it.

It can get very busy here.

These scarecrows are great. I'm starting to feel a bit left out.

Wish I had some kind of scarecrow-making kit. CLANG!

-Oh! Who put that there?

-It wasn't the TV crew. Honest.

Ed's making a scarecrow... of himself!

Now, on to the face.

What do you think so far? The nose is about right.

Ah, it's like the identical twin brother I never had.

That's Ed the scarecrow finished...

Got this from her wardrobe. I'm sure she won't miss it.

Now for Holly's head. I've got a few ideas about this.

-These are modelled on Holly Walsh's actual teeth.

-And her actual wig.

Ah. It's like she's with me now.

Right, that's Holly finished.

Now, let's go and scare some crows.

Shouldn't be too hard with this.

Well, one thing's for sure, there

aren't going to be any crows hanging around here.

-That was a close one.

-Rather, old bean. Scarecrows all over us!

-We were lucky to get out of there alive.

-Absolutely, old chap.

Just imagine what would happen if one of them got hold of you. Brrr!

Have you ever actually seen a crow being caught by a scarecrow?

-Now you mention it, no.

-I'm beginning to think that scarecrows

are only there to scare crows!

That would explain the name!

Oh, we've been such fools.

Well, not any more.

At 1400 hours precisely, we launch a full-scale attack.

What are those two crows doing?

-Argh! My eyes! They're pecking out my scarecrow's eyes!

-I mean, why?

-Why would they do that?

-I don't know, why would they do that?

It's because we've made them too realistic, they look too much

like the real you and me.

Hang on a minute. Crows don't peck out eyeballs.

Hm, no. Course they don't.

-Shall we just, um?

-Yes.

I think that's probably best.

Is completing your own collection making you hopping mad?

Then wait till you see what this grown up collects in St Helens.

Before we start, Mary, I was just wondering if you'd seen Holly?

-No, I haven't.

-She hasn't turned up yet?

-No.

-We'll just start now and she'll probably be along.

-Yeah.

-Ribbit.

-Holly Walsh! What're you doing?

I'm dressed as a frog, Ed, so I can blend in with the collection.

-This place is amazing! Come and have a look.

-Hop it, hop it.

This is frog central.

If they were all real and living together in the wild,

they'd be called an army of frogs.

Well, they do all have the same green uniform.

Mary has over 3,000 in her collection,

but she'd need 5,000

to represent every real species of frog.

Mary is so keen on frogs that she has a whole bedroom devoted to them.

There must be about 300 in here alone.

My mum wouldn't let me get away with this.

"You are not having 200 frogs in your bedroom!"

-There's a lot of frogs.

-Hang on a minute.

-This one's a toad.

-Don't worry, Ed.

He is allowed, because toads are actually part of the frog family.

I think it says something when your frogs are able to sit

on entire pieces of furniture which are meant for human beings.

Did you know a frog has more lives than a cat?

Because...it croaks every day!

-Ed! Ed! Ed!

-What?

Hi, Ed. Who do you think I look like?

Holly Walsh dressed as a frog?

No, Ed, I look like this little guy.

This is the way to be seated if you're a frog in a collection.

Right, good, very good. Would you mind getting out? I need a wee.

Don't mind me, go ahead. We're very relaxed about these things in the frog world.

-No, get out!

-Ribbit.

I think Holly's enjoying this a bit too much. You've spawned a monster.

How could I not enjoy myself? I'm dressed as a frog

surrounded by 3,000 other frogs with a woman who adores frogs.

-You're in your natural habitat.

-I really am.

We've really enjoyed your collection, so here's your very own

All Over The Place frog.

Aw, lovely.

How are you going to get changed?

There's only one way to transform out of being a frog.

I've got to get a kiss from a Prince Charming.

Go on, give us a kiss.

No, thanks. I'll pass on that, thanks very much.

Let's see if Princess London has more luck with Ed.

SHE CRIES

Aw, why the tears, fair Princess?

I cry because I fear I may never

-find my Prince Charming.

-What does he look like?

I never met him, but it's our fate to live happily ever after.

My fairy godmother told me so.

You know it's true cos a fairy told you?

Well, a whole load of issues there.

Unless you're the prince turned into a frog by a witch's evil spell.

Yeah, pretty sure I'm just a frog.

Only one way to find out.

Only a kiss from a princess can break the spell.

-You're not kissing me!

-Why not?

But, like, a thousand reasons.

For a start, you're not my type.

You're not green, not amphibian and you're about 50 times too big.

SHE CRIES

All right, all right, all right, how about this? You kiss that lily pad,

then I kiss the lily pad,

then I'll get one of your kisses without all the weirdness.

There, I told you, nothing happened.

Wow! So you were right. I was cursed by an evil witch after all!

You'd have thought I'd remember that.

And your kiss saved me! Oh, thank you, my love!

Let us ride into the sunset and live happily ever after.

No. Don't think so.

-What, why?

-You're not my Prince Charming!

My fairy godmother said he'd be handsome.

Oh.

One way or another this has been a bit embarrassing.

Ribbit.

# What are you thinking? What are you thinking?

# What are you thinking?

The most visited theme park in the UK is Blackpool's Pleasure Beach.

It gets an average of 5.5m visitors entering each year.

Every year visitors eat 500,000 candyflosses.

That's enough to returf Wembley Stadium four times over.

Plus they scoff a million ice cream cones! A lot of unicorn horns.

That's the tallest roller coaster in the UK.

Its highest point is 65 metres high.

That's nearly 36 of me stacked up.

Bleurgh!

I'm feeling dizzy just looking at it.

I don't think I can do this for much longer. But what if we lived here?

What if the world was a theme park?

If the world was a theme park it would be quite depressing for

small people, because they wouldn't be allowed on all the big rides.

A ride for grannies could be, like, a cart that has knitting needles.

And the name of the granny coaster is Grannies It's Knitting Time.

Instead of having cars, you'd have bumper cars, so you'd

drive round the road then you'd just

crash into each other.

I've been training for ages...

I am going to win the World Hen Racing Championships.

There it is.

Oh, no-one's wearing chicken costumes.

Yeah, I know.

It's people racing chickens. I just like getting dressed up.

Does that mean there'll be no spring chickens taking part? Hee-hee.

This is the Olympic village.

This is what happens when you hang around chickens too long.

What a beautiful specimen.

That is what they are racing for.

They don't care about coming first, all they want is dinner.

Mine are on the sweet corn.

-Is that what they prefer?

-It's our secret weapon.

I've got a secret weapon, not even going to tell you what!

We'll get it out of her later.

We hatched a plan...

This is my one, this is the tame one.

-This is the tame one.

-So what do I do?

-You just hold his leg.

-Hold his leg.

-Hold his leg.

-I've eaten a few of these, I tell you.

-Yeah.

-I probably shouldn't say that, sorry!

Whoa, there we go!

Lovely.

This is a lively one.

That's good, this chicken's got energy. Full of energy.

There we go, wahey.

These chickens are from a family of champions?

-Yep.

-I wonder if Holly's hen is from a family of champions. Hope not.

So this is little Snowy. So what's your top tip or insider

things I could know about how to get my chicken to the finishing line?

Well, you could get a can of chicken food and shake it.

-So they think dinner's happening?

-Yeah.

What was that, Snowy?

We're gonna win?

Of course we're gonna win!

Now time for some rules.

The first hen over the finish line wins, and no chickening out.

So we're here at the board which has which heat you're in. I'm in

-Heat Four so we've got a few to go.

-This is my heat here, Browni.

BBC as well, so the pressure's on. Everyone knows we're from telly.

Poor old Chicken Licken is going to end up in someone's pie...

I wanna see you get out there,

I don't want any funny business. I don't want any pecking,

any flapping, all I want is a good clean race.

Ready, steady, go.

Go Snowy! Go Snowy!

And Snowy's off and pecking, and I'm feeling a bit peckish

Looking at these hens!

-Snowy looks a bit confused, Holly.

-She's going the wrong way!

Turn round! Keep running, she's off!

She is indeed off, she's doing very well and...

Oh, it's a bit of fowl play there, fowl play!

Snowy got attacked by a bigger... Oh, Snowy!

Snowy's looking terrified!

-Snowy, turn round!

-Snowy's going the wrong way!

Oh, and there's a winner in this egg-straordinary heat.

What went wrong, Snowy?

You were doing so well! And then you got pecked

by that giant other chicken and you started walking backwards, and then

the last thing you did was ate someone else's poo.

I mean, you embarrassed yourself out there.

Holly's chicken didn't make the grade, so if we win this we beat her.

-Easy.

-Have you got any last-minute tactics?

Just put him in gear.

-Team talk.

-How are you going to tell the difference between your hen

and those hens? I mean, all these hens look identical.

-I can smell the difference.

-Not for...

This has got a slightly yellow head.

-She does, yeah.

-Set your marks, get set, go.

Go!

The most confused animals I've ever seen.

You have to try to waft them or blow on them

or something, but they just don't care. They don't care what you do.

Go away, you stupid thing!

He's not even pointing in the right direction. Go away!

He might start a fight.

And there's the winner! We have a winner!

And where's Ed's hen?

-Oh.

-Can you shake the hand of the winner?

Can you do it, Ed, can you bring yourself to congratulate him?

Yeah. Well done, well done.

Well done there. The best hen won.

-The best hen won, that's sportsmanship for you.

-And you!

You should be ashamed of yourself!

Well, both our hens were extremely rubbish.

I feel particularly "omelette" down by mine.

Colette who runs the event is still giving us a prize!

Yes, the results are in and out the hens

that you trained for a short time, it was you that won, Holly.

-Yes!

-Your hen got the furthest.

Even though she did a U-bend, walked back and ate

-another hen's poo?

-Yeah, let's forget that.

There you go, there's your prize.

Oh, what? I don't believe this, Ed,

-this is a dream come true for me.

-But some good news for you, Ed.

We do have some other categories and you have won a prize.

-Oh, yes.

-It's for handler with the nicest hair.

-Yes!

-There you go.

Yes! I always knew I could do this!

-What about my hair?

-Who cares about the chickens?

I have the hair! Yes! You see that, Derbyshire?

Ha, in your face. Or should I say, in your hair?

-Ha, yes, I've won something.

-Ed's egg-static.

And you've been watching All Over The Place!

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