Grottos, TVs and Black Puddings! All Over the Place

Fancy a whistle-stop tour of the UK with your CBBC mates?

How's that? Ed and London bowl us over.

Dick and Dom get a bit cheesy.

Oh, look at that!

Ian leads us on a merry dance.

And Johny throws black puddings.

# All Over The Place

# All Over The Place

# North south east west

# On a bizarre quest Me and my mates

# All Over The Place

# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All Over The Place All Over The Place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

# But it turns up All Over The Place! #

Well, isn't this nice, being in Margate?

I only wish I could find some shells.

There's loads of shells.

Ed, that's a shell suit. I'm talking about actual shells.

Oh, right. You mean like this.

No! Not a bomb shell, like, a real shell!

Oh, I know what you're after. Ta-da!

-Who's that guy?

-My French pen-friend, Michel.

-Bonjour, Michel.

-Ah, bonjour.

No, Ed. I'm talking about proper shells, as in,

"She sells seashells on the seashore" shells.

Right. Right. Well, in that case we need to go to the shell grotto.

That was quite impressive, what Holly did there.

It's a mystery why it's called a shell grotto. No, only joking.

The mystery is that...

Whoa.

This is extraordinary and it's all really intricately designed.

It feels like you're inside some jewellery.

I thought they would be shells like, I don't know, this big,

not all these tiny little ones.

Think about it, though, these are all stuck on by hand.

You say "hand" - could have been an alien.

-Oh, wow.

-This must be where the farmer lowered his child...

Yeah. He lowered him through a hole, didn't he?

Looks like a church or something, doesn't it?

You can imagine they didn't have electricity,

so it would have been candlelight

reflecting off the surfaces. It would be incredible.

I just can't understand where they got all these shells from.

Maybe they came from Margate,

a beach-side town, quite literally next to the sea.

Whizzer.

What's this, no sea shells on the seashore? That's not cricket.

That is cricket.

But that's not important right now.

The mystery of Margate's missing seashells

has been puzzling some of Britain's greatest minds,

as well as this idiot.

What's a seashell? Hur hur hur.

We'll attempt to get to the bottom

of this most perplexing disappearance.

With some seashells commanding prices as high as two guineas,

one theory is that shells are being taken by moustachioed criminals,

like this chap, who then sells them back to the sea for a tidy profit.

The discovery of this incredible shell here,

under what some scientists are calling "sand",

has prompted a new and exciting theory.

The shells are tunnelling!

Tired of life on the surface,

they have dug an intricate series of burrows deep down into the ground,

their long-term plan being to tunnel right through to Australia

and open an ice-cream parlour.

Of course, some thinkers believe the shells

have been made into a giant underground grotto,

just yards from the beach itself.

But only an idiot would believe that.

I believe it!

Precisely. So there we have it.

No answers but lots of wild theories and that's almost as good. Cheerio!

So basically we don't know any more than we did when we came in.

We don't know when it was built,

we don't know how it was built, where the shells came from.

I wonder how many other strange mysteries this grotto possesses.

Ed?

Ed?!

Ed?! Ed!

Anyway, Ed, let's settle this once and for all.

Dogs are better than cats, no doubt about that, right?

Dogs will rescue you if you get stuck up a mountain.

You don't get that from a cat!

What are you doing up a mountain?

Probably getting away from the dog cos it's so annoying!

Yeah. Well, at least dogs don't spend all their time

licking their bums, not like cats.

At least after it's licked its own bum,

it doesn't lick you in the face, like a dog.

That's no way to say hello, is it?

Ed, talk to the paw, all right?

I'm not listening. There's a way to prove dogs are better.

We'll have to ask the experts.

-Fine.

-Let's go.

-Where are they?

You'll find the experts here at Battersea Dogs & Cats Home.

This is Carlton. He knows dogs are better.

-Let's go look at the dogs.

-Let's look at the cats.

Got to say, I'm with the cats.

-Smells of dogs.

-Let's go and see some pets!

..though the cats look after themselves.

-So this is the dog dormitory, as it were?

-This is it.

This is where the big guys stay.

They've got quite a spotless little room here. Where does their poo go?

There's actually a drain at the back there, so when kennels are cleaned,

the poo is washed away.

-So this is the cattery.

-Hear that?

-Nice and peaceful.

Peace and quiet. Welcome to the calm and stress-free life of the cat.

If cats are popular, why do you get more dogs?

I'm not sure of the exact reason but there's...

I know why, it's cos people like cats so much,

they want to hang on to them.

They don't like dogs so much, they let them run off.

Where do the dogs come from?

It's a mixture. The majority of the dogs we get come to us as strays.

They've been wandering around in the streets with no home to go to?

Exactly.

High five! High five!

You work here, do you want to take all the animals home?

-You do. Yeah.

-I want to take these. I want six cats already.

Absolutely. I've got two cats and a dog already.

So that means you like cats twice as much as dogs!

Have you ever had a time when a dog's broken out of its room?

We have. There was a famous incident with a dog called Red.

That dog was... Had worked out a way to open the kennels

and was opening the kennels, letting his friends out

-and then having a midnight feast in the kitchen.

-Really?!

And here's what you didn't see.

Easy does it.

Easy does it.

Yes! Done it!

-Woof! Woof woof woof!

-Sh!

-Woof! Woof woof woof woof!

-Sh!

-I'm going to let you out as we agreed, yeah?

-Brilliant!

But I don't want this turn into no big thing.

Come on. Join in.

There's a whole box of balls up there. Help yourself.

You don't even have to fetch them.

-I knew this would happen.

-Come on. Everybody's having a great time!

Yeah. That's the problem. The music, the lights...

If we don't keep it down, we're going to get found out.

Look, you all get one last song

-and then you go back in your kennels, yeah?

-All right.

-Make sure it isn't a loud one.

-Hit it!

# Who let the dogs out?

-# Woof woof woof woof

-Shush!

-# Who let the dogs out?

-Shush!

-# Woof, woof, woof, woof

-Stop it!

# Woof woof woof woof. #

What's all this then?

Er... This isn't what it looks like.

It looks like two CBBC presenters dressed up in dog suits.

You'll never beat me at a riddle.

All right, try this one then.

If two witches watch two watches,

-which witch would watch which watch?

-Er... Um...

-That's stupid. Witches don't wear watches.

-They do.

-They don't.

-All right. Want to bet?

Yeah. I can't wait till you show me a real witch.

WITCHY CACKLE

Where did that come from?

The Wookey Hole, of course.

Come on, I'll show you.

Come along.

I thought the smell was Ed's feet.

Look at this.

-So big!

-Wow. It's amazing. It's a little bit creepy.

When you're up there, you'd never think that all this

is under your feet, would you?

Ed and Gemma, welcome to the Wookey Challenge!

Ed, you've got Chris, who will tell you about the history of the caves.

And Gemma, you've got Gayle, who knows all about tourism.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

Three, two, one, go!

-How long have people been coming to the caves?

-About 100 years.

-Why is it called Wookey Hole?

-It's an old name about chasing animals.

And how many people do you get every year?

-Over 250,000.

-What?!

-How are they made?

-Water flows through and eats at the limestone.

What about the water, where does it come from?

From the River Axe.

Have cavemen lived in them?

Yes. 50,000 years ago, the Celts.

And do visitors drop stuff into it?

They drop pennies and coins.

Did people find any other stuff?

-All sorts. We have remains from a witch that lived here.

-Really?!

What's that funny cheese smell around here?

That is our cheddar cheese from Ford Farm in Dorset...

Stop!

-I think we did well there, Chris.

-We did. We did.

-Thank you.

And the winner is...Gemma!

What?!

WITCHY CACKLE

Hey, Ed, did you hear that noise?

You're not fooling me. That's the sound of you celebrating.

Right, I'm hungry, let's find those cheeses.

I've never seen so much cheese in my life.

I know. It's amazing, isn't it?

It's mouldy because they put it in the caves

and it gets the moisture out of the walls, which flavours it,

and it's actually cheddar in there.

Looks absolutely minging.

It does.

..and leaves the caves.

-# Happy birthday to you. #

-Did you hear that?

# Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday dear...

# ..Cheese! Happy birthday to you. #

Oh, look at that.

You got me a cake and everything.

Yeah, it's cheesecake.

Well, had to be, didn't it? The best birthday ever.

Technically, it's been your only birthday ever.

Have you ever heard of anyone having a second birthday?

Er... No.

It's as if they just disappear, you know.

They mature for a year and then suddenly just leave the cave.

Why would anyone leave the cave?

Well, I mean, take Georgie, for example.

Rumour has it that he was taken on his first birthday by humans

and made into some kind of lunch for some kind of ploughman!

Well, I mean, if all the humans take the cheese

when they're one year old...

how come you're still here?

Well, I guess the rumours are just a load of...

Yarrgh!

Wait! Put him back!

-# Happy birthday to you... #

-No.

-# Happy birthday to you... #

-It's not!

Oh, stop! No! No! Stop it! Shut up!

I can definitely make out a witch's hat, or is that an elephant?

SHE CACKLES

Argh!

-Who are you?

-I'm the Wookey witch.

-What do you do?

-Well, I meet and greet all the visitors

-and take them round.

-Oh, right.

This may sound stupid but I don't suppose you wear a watch, do you?

Well, actually, I do.

-Oh, is that the time? Must go. Goodbye.

-Yep.

Another thing I was wrong about.

-Ed, you all right? Looking a bit freaked out.

-Yeah. Well, I just...

Right, well, you know, we haven't seen the witch.

She must have gone out for dinner.

I know we have this bet and I said she was here

and she was wearing a watch and...

So it pains me to say it, but you've won the bet, all right?

-Yeah, but you see...

-Happy?

-Oh, hang on. You're buying the tea and cake now, aren't you?

-Yes.

-Goodbye, Ed.

-Cheerio. Nice meeting...you.

You're right, she does wear a watch.

Yeah. I think YOU are buying the tea and cake! Come on.

I want a big piece of something squishy and lovely and delicious.

This was in the Guinness Book Of Records in 2004

as the world's smallest TV.

You need a magnifying glass to watch it.

Which means it's completely pointless.

Whaaat?!

There was only BBC

in black and white and it was not broadcast all day.

-It was boring.

-Yes, very.

This is a televisor... Designed by John Logie Baird.

So just imagine somebody's being filmed.

That's turned into a signal which is sent down that wire.

That wire there sends a signal to the light

and that tells the light to shine at varying brighnesses.

You've got this disk here that's got lots of holes in different places.

If it spins at certain speeds, it creates lines

which form an image on the lens, a moving image.

I can actually see a moving image there.

You should see an image of a face.

I bet he was good at quizzes.

Hello and welcome to TV Dinners -

the game where you literally play for your dinner.

This is for your starter, Johny.

In 2010, which TV programme had the highest viewing figures?

-I'm going to guess...

-Was it A - Strictly Come Dancing,

or B - the X Factor?

I'm going to go with X Factor.

Correct, yes, the X Factor. You've won some delicious soup.

There you go, Johny, enjoy that.

-What is it?

-It's made from Brussels sprouts.

-Oh, er, I'll have it later. Lovely.

-No, eat it now.

-No, later.

-Eat it now!

# TV Dinners. #

Which city in the UK watches the most television per week, Johny?

Is it A - London, or B - Birmingham?

-London.

-Oh, it's good but it's not right, Johny, no.

It's Birmingham. Those Brummies love their telly.

Here's what you could have won - lovely cabbage and chips.

-Look at that, it could have been yours.

-Oh, man!

Oh, go on, I'll give you some. There you go.

# TV Dinners. #

How many TV sets were bought in the UK in 2010, Johny?

Is it A - 9.5 million, or B - 11.5 million, Johny?

Either way, it's a lot of tellies.

9.5 million.

-Is correct, Johny!

-Yes!

Look what you've won - this delicious chocolate surprise.

Finally something I can eat.

The surprise is that the sauce is made from egg mayonnaise.

Oh!

This TV show's rubbish.

I wonder what John Logie Baird would've watched back in the day.

IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: "Have fun.

"Enjoy yourself, Logie Baird."

Well, I'll show them.

When they get a load of my catchily-named

semi-mechanical analogue television device

no-one will ever leave the house again.

I wonder what programmes people will watch on my catchily-named

semi-mechanical analogue television device 80 years from now.

Could your stupid face be more stupid?

Stupid! Stupid! You are the Weakest Link. Goodbye.

No, Big Brother, when I said I wanted Jaffa Cakes,

I meant round ones. You've given me square ones.

What am I supposed to do with that?! It's got four sides and everything.

I don't know which way to start. This is a total catastrophe.

HE SOBS

Don't you ever talk about my mother.

Shut up, Phil! She ain't even your real mother.

DUFF, DUFF, DUFF, DUFF-DUFF, D-D-D-DUFF!

What have I done?!

Here we are in the Lost Gardens Of Heligan in Cornwall.

Well, I am. Ed's late, he's very late.

And he had planned a musical tour for these lovely tourists.

He can't find the Lost Gardens Of Heligan.

How ironic. Looks like I'm going to have to do this tour by myself.

# I'm looking for The Lost Gardens of Heligan

# My map reading's not going Particularly well-igan

# Left or right? It's so hard to tell-igan

# I just can't find The Lost Gardens of Heligan!

# We can't wait here all day For Ed again

# He probably forgot The time I said again

# Maybe he overslept in bed again

# I'll have to show you around Instead again.

# How can you lose The Lost Gardens of Heligan?

# It's a question upon I'm starting to dwell again

# I'm so frustrated I just want to yell again

# Where on earth are The Lost Gardens of Heligan?!

BIRD CALLS

How far?

# For years these gardens Were neglected

# But now their beauty's Been resurrected

# The Mudmaid, the Jungle The Pineapple Pit

# It's just a shame that Ed's not here to see it!

# Anyone seen The Lost Gardens of Heligan?

# I've walked so far my feet Have started to swell again!

# And I've had about enough of The sound of this bell-igan!

# By the way, mate, you can't spell-igan! #

Hang on. Woohoo!

# Don't worry, Iain All is well again

# And, boy, have I got A story to tell again

# About the Lost Gardens Of Heligan again-igan

# And turns up just in time To say farewell again. #

Ah, sorry.

So this must be the People's Palace.

It's not just an art gallery, it's also a museum for Glaswegian life.

-Pretty impressive?

-I think we should look around.

-Yeah.

Whoa!

Oh, they've got one of these. It's an Anderson shelter.

People had them in their gardens during the war

to protect them from the bombs...

Chop, chop, Ed!

Ed, I don't know why you wore those shoes.

-You're sliding all over the place.

-What do you mean?

-My banana boots are cool.

-They're not yours.

They belong to Billy Connolly, the famous Scottish comedian.

He gave them to the People's Palace. Take them back!

What kind of person wears food for clothes, anyway?

If we had to wear food for clothes, I don't think it would be very good

because if you got hungry, everyone would just eat their clothes

and it wouldn't be very good cos we'd all be walking around, naked!

I'd have a cake dress.

A top made of out of cauliflower.

A really pretty red dress made out of salamis.

When it went all mouldy, everyone would, like, be disgusted by you.

They'd be like, "Ew, I don't want to be your friend, you stink."

Oh, hello. You caught me enjoying my favourite breakfast

of Yorkshire pudding.

As a Yorkshireman, it's what I like to eat every day

and it's why I've come here, to Ramsbottom in Lancashire.

Every year, to symbolise the rivalry between Lancashire and Yorkshire,

they throw dirty, disgusting Lancashire black puddings

at a pile of good, honourable Yorkshire puddings,

trying to dash as many as they can to the ground.

As a Yorkshireman, I think this is totally unacceptable

and it's why I've brought Yorkshireman Johny Pitts today.

-Isn't that right?

-That's right. It's all right, calm down.

I'm as outraged by this atrocity as you.

The question is, what will we do about it?

I think we get out there, find out what the rules are

and beat them at their own game.

Are you suggesting we enter and win it for Yorkshire?

Yes. Yes, I am. For Yorkshire, our Yorkshire!

Two Yorkshiremen against Lancashire! Put it there, I love it. Brilliant.

So, er...interesting accent you've got there.

Whereabouts in Yorkshire do you live?

Oh, I don't live in Yorkshire.

OK. Well, where were you born then?

I was born in Rustington, on the south coast.

So you're not even a real Yorkshireman?

My grandparents were from there. That counts, doesn't it?

Well, not really, but I'm here now, so you'll have to do.

I tell you what, we're going to have a right laugh tonight, pal.

Have a good 'un.

Didn't know he spoke French.

-We've got to throw these... BOTH:

-Urgh!

..at these...

-BOTH:

-Mm!

-..up there...

-..for a quid.

BELL RINGS

Not sure what they win though. Maybe some Yorkshire puddings.

Tell you what, that's a long best-before date!

There's a Lancashire stall and a Yorkshire stall next to each other.

Oh, yeah! Ah, the smell of home!

No, no. That's the Lancashire stall.

It's a vegetarian nightmare!

Like to try some delicious black pudding?

Er... Maybe not now.

Tell you what, how about the loser today has to eat cold black pudding?

OK. That's fair enough.

-That's a deal.

-You're on. Prepare to taste black pudding, you.

There's a thing - the golden grid - which you need to play the game.

It's arriving at the train station soon.

That sounds absolutely amazing.

-Oh, my gosh.

-They parade it through the streets with great ceremony.

BAGPIPES PLAY

APPLAUSE

Yep.

Not sure why we're following them or where they're going.

Some sort of procession. It's a lot of fuss to make about something

which is essentially a drain cover...

..painted with a gold paint.

Yeah, you're laughing, but you're the ones following it!

BAGPIPES PLAY

Woo!

Can you imagine if someone painted all the drains gold?

It would be mayhem!

-Oh!

-Hit it!

So, can Johny knock any of his beloved Yorkshire puddings off

with a black pudding?

He's not started very well. Oh!

That's £1 wasted, isn't it?

Here we go. Here we go. This is the one.

-You get three black puddings for £1.

-That wasn't a throw!

-Oh.

Ed needs all the practice he can get.

-Oh!

-Argh!

That was rubbish.

-That was also rubbish.

-What was that? What was that?!

It's not going very well for us so far, is it?

We haven't knocked any down. What will we do?

-We need some more money.

-Yeah.

I didn't bring my wallet today. Sorry.

-Look!

-For Yorkshire, Johny!

-That's the last time!

Ah!

This is going terrible.

I nearly did it. Just one more, just one more.

-I told you...

-Come on, Johny. Come on.

It's the last one you're having. Don't come back.

How's this? How's this?

-Yes.

-Not bad.

-Excellent.

Did you see that? Thank you.

Oh!

-It's all about the lob, isn't it?

-Yes. Exactly.

Johny only has to knock down two to beat Ed and six to beat the leader.

So close.

He's the winner. Come on!

-You know who this is, don't you?

-No.

This is Tony. He makes the black puddings

used in the World Black Pudding Throwing Championships.

-Fascinating. Well done.

-Thank you,

and I believe there was a bet on this as well, lads.

And you lost 2-1. So congratulations,

you can have a black pudding. Commiserations, you won.

I get a nice trophy.

You get one of those things! Come on, get stuck in.

Oh, all right then. Fair enough, I suppose.

-They're really nice actually.

-No way. Let me try some.

You can have a bit, then you'll have to get your own.

That's delicious. Hey, stop throwing those things! Can I have one?

You've been watching All Over The Place!

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