Milk bottles, Old Football Clubs and Road Bowling All Over the Place


Milk bottles, Old Football Clubs and Road Bowling

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Transcript


LineFromTo

Buckle up, you lot. We're going on a bizarre road around the UK with your CBBC mates.

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Ed and Joe kick us off in Sheffield.

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Barney has a wheely good time.

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Holly goes road bowling.

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I've been training for literally hours for this.

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Johny gets boxed in, while London goes a moustache.

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# All over the place All over the place

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# North, south, east, west

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# On a bizarre quest Me and my mates, all over the place

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# It's true what you've heard

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# Everything is absurd Whatever we do is strange but true

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# All over the place All over the place

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# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

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# But it turns up all over the place. #

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-Why are we in Sheffield?

-Because Sheffield is a very important place, Ed.

-Really?

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If anything, I'd say it was the most important place in the world.

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Oh, I know why. It's because of its history with steel.

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Sheffield is known as the Steel City.

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-No, Ed!

-Oh. Oh, I know!

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It's because it has so many trees.

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-No!

-Why then?

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Put it this way, if it wasn't for Sheffield, players like Rooney,

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Lionel Messi, Cristiano Ronaldo, they'd all be out of work.

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Is that because they've got part-time jobs

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polishing cutlery and pruning trees?

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No. Because Sheffield has the oldest football club in the world.

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Sheffield FC is an amateur football club.

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Not to be confused with professionals Wednesday or United.

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Who might be bigger, but definitely not older.

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Sheffield FC are also wiser.

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They're responsible for many of the rules still used in football today.

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In 1857, Sheffield FC was officially founded.

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And then two members of Sheffield FC

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sat down and came up with some rules.

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And they were known as the Sheffield rules.

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Wow! That's a really important conversation they must have had.

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This football malarkey seems to be taking off.

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-Yes.

-Yes.

-Probably about time we wrote down some rules.

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Mmm. Good idea.

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Yes. Rule number one...

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Fouls? What about fouls?

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Fouls?

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If one player was to intentionally kick another one.

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Pfft! We are gentlemen.

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No footballer would intentionally kick another.

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Of course. What a foolish notion.

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Hang on. What about that game last week?

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Went on for days. Several people injured.

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Good point. "No kicking one another."

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What are your thoughts on handling the ball with one's hands?

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Don't be ridiculous.

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How can one catch the ball if one can't use one's hands?

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THEY SNIGGER

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Forgive me. Don't know what I was thinking.

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Silly, silly me.

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I'm sure there's one other thing.

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Headers.

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Ed, I've got an idea.

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Shall we see if the Sheffield FC players

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-want to have a game of football using the old rules?

-Yeah.

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Rule number one is each player must provide himself

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with a red or dark blue cap.

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Have you got a cap?

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ALL: No.

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-I've got one.

-You have, Ed?

-Have you?

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Yeah. I've got one. Looks like it's just me and you.

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-See you later, boys.

-Here we go with two-aside and the old rules.

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It's Petrie wearing the red cap to kick off

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from the middle of the park. That rule still exists.

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Oh, my word. He's pushed Swash over from the penalty box. But no foul.

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Old rules allow pushing with hands. Swash appears to handle the ball.

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No point in arguing.

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That's allowed in the old rules, as long as you don't catch it.

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Nice goal, Swash. I guess that's why they call it the beautiful game.

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And the clip around the ear finishes this Match of the Day.

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-Ah, this is the life, eh, Ed?

-Yep.

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People have been travelling up and down

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-the Union Canal for nearly 200 years.

-Should get a better map.

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So, where are we heading?

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To the Falkirk wheel.

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I love wheels, me. And, as it happens, the Union Canal.

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It's great. It's 32 miles long, which is 51 kilometres.

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Or you could say it's nearly 51,000 football pitches.

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Wow. Good factoid, Ed Petrie off the telly.

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Well, if you like factoids about the Union Canal,

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it starts in Edinburgh and it ends...

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Here. Here!

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-We're going to go off the edge!

-What? Aaargh!

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Calm down, you two.

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You're just at the top of the Falkirk Wheel.

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It's the world's only rotating boat lift.

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So, don't be scared. Be amazed.

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I wasn't really scared, by the way.

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I was just enjoying the ride.

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-Just doing it for the telly.

-Just for you.

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Yeah, right!

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So, top is the end of the Union Canal

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and bottom is the start of the Forth and Clyde Canal.

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That's wheely uplifting.

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Ed and Barney, you have 37 seconds to find out as much as you can

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about the Falkirk Wheel.

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Barney, you've got Alasdair, who looks after the wheel

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and, Ed, you've got John, who knows how it works.

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Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

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Three, two, one. Go!

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John, I'm here to ask loads of questions about the Falkirk Wheel.

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-Why didn't they just build a really big slide?

-Erm...

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-How much does it cost?

-About 20 million in total.

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How many people built it?

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1,000 construction staff.

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How many times does it spin round in a day?

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As many as you want. 40 or 50 times.

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How many people use it every year?

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-500,000 people.

-Quite a lot!

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How fast does it got round?

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About five minutes but you can do it faster.

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-What's it made out of?

-Steel.

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-How much water can it hold?

-250 tonnes in each gondola.

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-How high is it?

-35 metres.

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If it was made of cheese would it still spin?

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-With very, very strong cheese!

-How heavy is it? Oh!

-BUZZER

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And the person who found out the most facts is...

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Barney!

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This is my celebration dance. This is how excited I am.

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I'm wheely happy that I managed to find out some wheely cool facts

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about the Falkirk Wheel. Thank you!

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If there was a prize for puns, you'd have won that as well.

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-It's a bit high, though.

-Let's get back up there.

-Cool. I won! I won!

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John was saying that the reason they call this a wheel

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is it's actually a wheel.

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-It's not, though.

-You don't have to have the side bits to have a wheel.

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-As long as it goes round, it's a wheel?

-Yeah.

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-What if it's a triangle going around?

-I don't know. You'd have to ask John.

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He also said that before they had the wheel, to get between the two canals

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- because it's a 45 metre height difference between the two -

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there used to be 11 locks and it took eight hours.

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-Eight hours to do what we'll do in 15 minutes?

-Amazing, isn't it?

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-Mad, that is.

-That's what John was saying.

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He knows his stuff, John.

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And John said this is really energy-efficient.

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-Doesn't use a lot of it?

-All you need is the amount of electricity

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-it takes to boil six kettles.

-Is that all it is? Wow! Amazing.

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Some of the stuff that John was saying, it blew me away.

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-Guess how long John said this wheel would last for?

-How long?

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-They reckon about 120 years.

-Wow!

-That's some good engineering.

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You do a lot of talking with your new best mate, John, don't you?

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He was saying it's only broken down once...

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Wow. John knows his stuff, doesn't he?

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The ice was about 30 centimetres thick. It's quite thick, wasn't it?

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Good old John. Why don't you buy a house and do it up together?

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What? Was I talking about John too much?

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Who's John? You haven't mentioned him a million times.

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Good. Wouldn't want to bore you.

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Cos John was saying, apparently this canal runs between Glasgow...

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So, how far to Edinburgh?

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-I think it's the same distance as 51,000 football pitches.

-Wow.

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-That's like 28,000 David Beckhams, isn't it?

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Or ten Peter Crouches.

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Yeah.

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Because he's really tall.

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Yeah. I got it.

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If you like collecting strange things,

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then you're going to love this.

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Hi, Paul. Are you all right? Wow! How many have you got here, Paul?

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About 10,000 different ones in my collection.

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Is every single one different?

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Every one's different.

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If the first milk bottle was delivered in 1880,

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it probably took them the next 130 years to deliver them here.

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It takes 38 squirts from a cow's udder to fill a bottle of milk.

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I think we're starting to milk these facts!

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What's this? It's past-your-eyes milk.

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Good one, Ed(!) When you pasteurise milk, you remove harmful germs.

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Check this out. One from my home town of Sheffield. Class!

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So, what's this little section here?

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Hoots, man! It's the Scottish section.

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Och aye the noo!

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We prefer the Queen's English here, Ed.

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This one's got the Queen's initials on it.

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From the Royal Dairy at Windsor.

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Are there other people who do this?

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I run a club of collectors. There's about 120 people in the club.

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There's a little magazine I do.

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-He's got a newsletter!

-Look at that. Milk Bottle News.

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News flash just in.

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Milk can be good for insect bites.

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-Over to you, Ed Petrie.

-Thank you, Johny.

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I'm here in Essex where I've just found out

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an important milk-related fact.

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Apparently milk powder can be used in luxurious baths

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as it helps make the skin feel soft.

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They're particularly fond of it in Japan.

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And now for a commercial break.

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Oh no. I'm a child between the ages 9 and 18,

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and this sugary fruit-based drink doesn't provide

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the 1,300 milligrams of calcium I need each day

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for optimum bone growth.

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Whatever am I going to do?

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Don't worry, little girl.

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-I'm here.

-Mr Milkyman!

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It's Captain Milkyman.

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Captain Milkyman!

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# Captain Milkyman, if you need milk, call Captain Milkyman. #

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No. Yes.

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I will be there right away.

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Oh no. I've got an important meeting and my suit's creased.

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What am I going to do?

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Don't worry, son. I'm here.

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-Who are you?

-I'm Captain Milkyman.

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And this pint of semi-skilled milk

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-should sort out your suit-based crisis.

-What are you doing?

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No, no. No need to thank me.

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You've got milk all over my phone.

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You've broken it.

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That's the magic of milk.

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Now, Captain Milkyman away!

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SIRENS WAIL

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That's odd. This seems to be the work of the Evil Dr Biscuit.

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Ed Petrie?

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-No. I'm Captain Milkyman.

-Of course you are.

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I'm arresting you in connection with a number of milk-related assaults.

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Committed while dressed as a superhero fictional character.

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Officer, this lunatic ruined my suit and my phone. Arrest him!

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What do you think I'm doing?

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Oh, yeah. Can I watch?

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Course you can. You're in big trouble, my lad.

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-We're on the telly.

-Course you are.

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Someone tell her. Who's idea was this bit?

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Aargh! Eurgh! Ow! My tooth!

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Oh, that's handy. I'll just pop into the doctors.

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Hello? Hello?

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Ah, Mr Petrie. We've been expecting you.

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Aaargh! Aaargh!

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Don't panic, Ed.

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Although everything looks like it belongs in a horror movie, this is

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actually a museum and it's packed with four centuries' worth

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of old surgical instruments and specimens.

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Specimens in jars.

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Jars of body parts. Mwah ha-ha!

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What can you do about my toothache?

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Well, if we were in the 18th century,

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we might want to use one of these.

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It's a tooth key.

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If you give me your finger, I can show you.

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-I'm not sure I want to!

-I promise I won't hurt you.

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Yeah? I'm going to get it back exactly as it is now?

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All in one piece. So, imagine that your finger is the tooth

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and then we just turn very slowly.

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Can you feel the pressure?

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The tooth is fine, actually. I think I was making a fuss about nothing.

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It's more the cough.

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What we would need a fleam.

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We can see there's a knife on this end.

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How will this stop me coughing? Just poke me with it till I stop?

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No. Very popular way of curing lots of different ailments at that time

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was to take blood from the patient.

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So if you hold out your arm?

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-I'm not going to do that.

-No?

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No. I haven't coughed for a couple of minutes.

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Seems to be working.

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That's fine. It was more a broken leg.

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First of all, we would pop this round your leg.

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It's a tourniquet.

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This helps to stop the bleeding.

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Oh, yeah? Just tie it up and go home?

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-Everything's lovely, have a cup of tea and cake.

-Not quite finished yet.

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This is an amputation knife.

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You would put the knife underneath the leg like this.

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Nice big cut all the way round the leg.

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Then you need this little device called a retractor.

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Looks like something you cut cheese with.

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What we've got to get at underneath is the bone.

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We've got to pull out the tissue, so that's not in the way.

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Finally what we need is this, the good old amputation saw.

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We've got the wound nice and exposed and you can see the bone.

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Then quickly go in and saw through.

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The anaesthetic should be kicking in in a few moments, Mr Matthews.

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We just need you to count down from 100 but only using prime numbers.

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97, 89,

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83,

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79, 73...

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Well, he's asleep.

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And surprisingly good at maths.

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Excellent. Hand me the scalpel.

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Here's the tricky part. Tweezers.

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Slowly.

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Easy does it.

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-BUZZER

-Yes! My turn.

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Ah! Bingo.

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-What have you found?

-Bingo. Wonder what that's doing there.

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I am a little bit worried about his iron content.

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Why's that?

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Three seems too many.

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Maybe he wanted a flat stomach.

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-I don't get it.

-Never mind. I think we're done here.

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Do you want to start with the waking up procedure?

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OK. WAKE UP!

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Hello, Mr Matthews.

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The operation was a complete success.

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-Although there were a few complications.

-Complications?

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Yeah, well, it turns out your body's made of cardboard surrounded

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by metal censors that buzz when something metal touches them.

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You really should seek help from a medical professional.

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Aren't you medical professionals?

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Me? No, no. This is my first day.

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I just plain old wandered in off the street.

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Argh!

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Actually, I wonder if you could give us some medical advice.

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What does this do?

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-Argh!

-Mr Matthews? FLATLINE

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Mr Matthews!

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This is a warning to sheep to make sure they don't stand

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with their bottoms pointing towards a flying boomerang.

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No, Ed, this is the Superlambanana by Japanese artist Taro Chiezo.

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What's it doing here in Liverpool?

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Well, it was commissioned in 1998

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and it reflects the history of the city's docks.

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Sheep and bananas were common cargo, but probably not in the same crate.

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No. Mint goes much better with lamb.

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It's made of concrete and steel, it's five metres high,

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and cost £35,000, which is about 100,000 bananas.

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If bananas were money, that would make a lot of monkeys very happy.

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If we had to use bananas as money,

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it wouldn't be that good because you'd put them in the back pocket of

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your jeans and if you sat on them your pants would be all banana-y.

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The cash tills would be all mushy, black and yellow and stuff.

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When you put your bananas in the banana bank,

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you could never get it out because the skin would just rot.

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The monkeys would be having the time of their life.

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They'd be raising up so much more money they'd take over the world.

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If you get a banana with three monkey hairs on it,

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that's £1 million.

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# Come on, everybody, do the twisted spire

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# It's the latest dance craze from Derbyshire

0:19:040:19:07

# All you got to do is lean and twist

0:19:070:19:10

# It's a crazy little number and it goes like this

0:19:100:19:15

# Do the twisted spire Keep your feet on the ground

0:19:160:19:19

# Do the twisted spire Turn your body halfway round

0:19:190:19:22

# Do the twisted spire The next bit's the best

0:19:220:19:25

# Do the twisted spire Gently lean to the south-west

0:19:250:19:28

# It was built around the time of the Black Death

0:19:310:19:34

# And there weren't very many skilled craftsmen left

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# It only leans over because they weren't any good

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# They used the wrong kind of bending wood

0:19:400:19:43

# Here's some information that will make your jaw drop

0:19:430:19:46

# The spire is literally just plonked on the top

0:19:460:19:49

# The tower and the spire are not fixed together

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# Fingers crossed they don't get any windy weather

0:19:520:19:55

# Do you twisted spire

0:19:550:19:56

# Feet on the ground

0:19:560:19:58

# Do the twisted spire

0:19:580:19:59

# Body halfway round

0:19:590:20:01

# Do the twisted spire

0:20:010:20:02

# Lean over a bit

0:20:020:20:03

# Do the twisted spire Everyone's doing it.

0:20:030:20:06

# Local legend has it that what really caused the lean

0:20:090:20:13

# Was the most beautiful maiden the spire had ever seen

0:20:130:20:15

# It twisted and it turned to get a better view

0:20:150:20:18

# It would probably straighten up if it claps eyes on you

0:20:180:20:22

# It's known around the world as the crooked spire

0:20:220:20:24

# And it's even survived a terrible fire

0:20:240:20:27

# Some believe the twist was a deliberate design

0:20:270:20:30

# So come on, everybody, one more time

0:20:300:20:33

# Do the twisted spire Feet on the ground

0:20:330:20:36

# Do the twisted spire Body halfway round

0:20:360:20:39

# Do the twisted spire Lean over a bit

0:20:390:20:42

# Do the twisted spire Everyone's doing it

0:20:420:20:45

# Do the twisted spire

0:20:450:20:47

# The greatest dance there's ever been

0:20:470:20:48

# Do the twisted spire Just twist and lean

0:20:480:20:51

# Do the twisted spire Let me hear you shout

0:20:510:20:54

-# Do the twisted spire

-Oh, I've put my back out. #

0:20:540:20:57

Ed, you know how much you like extreme sports?

0:21:080:21:10

Yeah. Extreme!

0:21:100:21:12

-You know how you like bowling?

-Bowling!

0:21:120:21:14

You are going to love road bowling.

0:21:140:21:17

Road bowling, how does that work?

0:21:170:21:18

I have no idea.

0:21:180:21:21

Fear not, Holly and Ed,

0:21:210:21:23

you are about to find out all about road bowling.

0:21:230:21:27

So now you know all about road bowling,

0:21:520:21:55

the two of you have to compete against each other.

0:21:550:21:59

We've got a chance to have a few technique lessons from Carly here,

0:22:020:22:07

who's the under-18 champion.

0:22:070:22:10

I hear a lot of it is in the wrist.

0:22:120:22:13

-How do I spin it so I can take corners and things?

-Flick your wrist.

0:22:130:22:19

Like turning a handle?

0:22:190:22:20

Yes, exactly. Just flick it as you let it out of your hand,

0:22:200:22:23

but not too much because you don't want to throw it completely.

0:22:230:22:26

That will get it round corners?

0:22:260:22:28

It should when you let it go.

0:22:280:22:29

-Just throw at a normal pace?

-You need to slow down.

0:22:290:22:32

OK. Much gentler.

0:22:320:22:34

-What about the jumping?

-You can turn your body a wee bit.

0:22:370:22:41

Turn my body a wee bit?

0:22:420:22:45

It's like I'm doing really bad ballet at the moment.

0:22:450:22:48

-How's that?

-You can take your arm back and then jump.

0:22:510:22:53

How's that?

0:22:530:22:56

Better, better. Just remember to keep moving afterwards.

0:22:560:22:59

You'll get a lot more power behind it.

0:22:590:23:02

How's this, Carly?

0:23:020:23:04

Carly's too polite to say, but I'm not.

0:23:040:23:06

Ed, that's just embarrassing.

0:23:060:23:09

What are the chances of me winning this first time?

0:23:090:23:13

Well, against Ed, your technique's good,

0:23:130:23:16

so remember what I said and you won't have too much competition.

0:23:160:23:20

IMITATES JOHN ANDERSON: Contenders, are you ready?

0:23:200:23:24

In the blue corner...

0:23:240:23:25

In the pink corner...

0:23:300:23:31

Let's road bowl!

0:23:330:23:36

Here goes the Tarmac Terror with his first shot. Oh!

0:23:390:23:44

Quite pleased with that.

0:23:440:23:46

We've got to get it as far as you can before it goes off the road

0:23:460:23:49

into the verge, and mine went into the verge quite far down.

0:23:490:23:52

-Did you see how far mine went?

-Yeah.

0:23:520:23:55

-A long way.

-I've been training for literally hours for this.

0:23:550:24:00

Here goes the Ditch Dodger with her first shot.

0:24:000:24:03

Can she get it past the third tree on the right?

0:24:030:24:06

It's long.

0:24:060:24:08

It's a good one. It's got a lot of length.

0:24:080:24:11

Pretty even actually. Pretty even.

0:24:110:24:13

To mark your place they grab a big lump of turf

0:24:130:24:16

and throw it on the road. That's where mine landed.

0:24:160:24:19

Apparently Holly's got to go first because she's just behind by a nose.

0:24:190:24:23

Holly's second shot. You go, girl. Go. Go. Go.

0:24:230:24:26

Another long one.

0:24:280:24:30

-It's still going.

-Very good.

0:24:300:24:32

I gave it a bit of spin and it came back.

0:24:320:24:34

Yes!

0:24:340:24:36

Oh, Ed's second shot.

0:24:360:24:38

It doesn't look as far as Holly's.

0:24:380:24:40

-What we need is someone official to help judge.

-This is Dominic.

0:24:400:24:44

Give us a twirl to show who you are.

0:24:440:24:46

A referee! How are we doing?

0:24:460:24:50

You've done well.

0:24:500:24:51

That first shot was good but the second two weren't so good.

0:24:510:24:55

Holly's took the lead on the second.

0:24:550:24:57

-This is where my spin skills come into play.

-What?

0:24:570:25:01

This is where my spin skills come into play.

0:25:010:25:03

Sorry, I can't hear you from over here. I'm too far in front of you.

0:25:030:25:07

Ed's behind so he gets to take his third shot before Holly.

0:25:070:25:11

Not enough twist.

0:25:110:25:13

-What?

-Not enough twist on it.

0:25:130:25:17

So conditions have got suddenly worse.

0:25:170:25:20

I hope this doesn't have an impact on my bowling.

0:25:200:25:23

Get it in, Holly.

0:25:230:25:24

My number one fan.

0:25:240:25:27

Don't let your new boyfriend put you off. Get in that third shot, Holly.

0:25:270:25:31

Lovely! Look at that, it's going right round the corner.

0:25:360:25:39

Wow, I've got to the hill.

0:25:390:25:41

-I've got to say that's a pretty amazing shot.

-I'm a natural!

0:25:410:25:43

I'm not sure I've terrorised the tarmac

0:25:430:25:47

quite as much as I was hoping.

0:25:470:25:50

Keep going, little ball.

0:25:500:25:52

You can win this for me.

0:25:520:25:54

I can't even see Ed now.

0:25:540:25:56

Holly and the ball are still rolling apparently.

0:25:560:25:59

She's downhill now so I'm very pleased for her.

0:25:590:26:02

It's still going.

0:26:020:26:03

It won't be stopped.

0:26:030:26:05

That's from a professional. It won't be stopped.

0:26:050:26:07

Here comes Ed. This is his fourth shot,

0:26:090:26:12

but is it even going to pass where Holly's third shot landed?

0:26:120:26:16

Oh!

0:26:160:26:18

Does that still count? Is it still going?

0:26:210:26:23

It's still going. Yes, it is.

0:26:230:26:26

I'm considerably in the lead.

0:26:260:26:28

I still have to overtake Ed, so there's a lot to play for.

0:26:280:26:31

Technically you're not in the lead, are you?

0:26:310:26:33

You've had your last shot. I'm a shot ahead.

0:26:330:26:36

Technically at the moment I'm in the lead because I'm in front of you.

0:26:360:26:40

-You're a shot behind.

-The last bowl of the match.

0:26:400:26:42

All I have to do is get it to where that guy is in the middle of the road.

0:26:420:26:46

If I can get it past him, I have won.

0:26:460:26:49

Concentrate, Holly.

0:26:490:26:52

All to play for on this final shot.

0:26:520:26:55

It's a long run-up.

0:26:550:26:57

Oh, no.

0:26:580:27:00

Yes, it's there! Well done, Holly.

0:27:030:27:05

The Ditch Dodger rules!

0:27:050:27:09

I thought I had you for a moment.

0:27:130:27:15

I am totally... Thank you.

0:27:150:27:17

If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have done this, and your top tips.

0:27:170:27:20

Thank you very much.

0:27:200:27:22

Anyone want to shake my hand?

0:27:220:27:24

-Hard luck.

-Hard luck, yeah.

0:27:240:27:26

Don't you love it when Ed loses with such good grace? Not!

0:27:260:27:31

We've been all over the place!

0:27:310:27:33

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0:27:380:27:41

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0:27:410:27:44

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