Cuckoo Clocks, Chimps, Pantomime Horses! All Over the Place

Your CBBC means travel All Over The Place in the UK.

Find out why Gemma, Ed and Johny are dressed like this.

Why Dick and Dom are hanging around

and why Iain and Barney are monkeying around.

And, why London goes, "cuckoo."

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

-# But it turns up...

-# ..all over the place! #

Here we are, Barney, a brilliant reason to come to Scotland.

Blair Drummond Safari Park with Chimp Island.

Chimp Island, it does what it says on the tin.

It's an island full of chimps! Why are you dressed as a monkey?

Because we're going to see the monkeys.

-Chimps are in the ape family.

-Oh...

Oh, isn't he lush!

Oh! These three gorgeous chimps live in Blair Drummond Safari Park.

Why do you hide food on the island for the chimpanzees?

In the wild they spend a large part of the day looking for food,

so we try to imitate this. Hiding their food means it isn't just there

on a plate for them and they have their breakfast...

-RATTLING

-Head's up!

He just threw some poo at us!

That was lucky escape.

There you go, that's an apple tree.

They'll never find it here.

There's nothing like a game of hide and seek with food.

Oh, hello!

So graceful... I used to do ballet, you can tell.

-Are you putting peanut butter in a hole?

-That's exactly what I'm doing.

OK, just because... Why?

-So they can fish it out with their fingers!

-Brilliant!

-I'm going to fill some more holes.

-Brilliant.

I'm Ed Backshall and welcome to Deadly 6 And A Half.

I'm Barney Backshall and also a presenter on Deadly 6 And A Half.

My mission is to wait for the chimps to cross the bridge

and walk out onto chimp island. This could be deadly.

This is so deadly I might take my top off for no reason at any moment.

So let's go to the other side of the island to take a look.

This could be deadly.

Although, probably not, cos we'll be on a boat.

He's enjoying my peanut butter. She's using a stick to get it out.

I thought she'd use a finger.

-I used my finger.

-I wouldn't have thought to use a stick.

A chimpanzee is cleverer than me.

-And, better looking.

-Oi!

So all that food we hid, they've now got that?

There'll be a lot they haven't found yet.

It'll take them several hours to get it all.

There's one with a twig. You put out food and they're eating a twig.

She wasn't eating, she was brushing her teeth after eating peanuts.

They're so like us!

They're the closest animal to humans.

It's like looking in a mirror, Barney.

I'm a right hairy monster, aren't I?

They all seem to be quite close, don't they? Like a group of friends,

having a chat, a meal. Having some breakfast.

It's like watching chimpanzee soap operas.

And now on BBC ChimpEnders.

All right, tell me what's going on, spill the beans.

Me and Cindy Chimp,

-I've been seeing someone else.

-Who?

-Tara Chimp.

-And?

And Lindsay Chimp and Tracey Chimp and Zoe Chimp and Debbie Chimp

and Ann Chimp, Zoe Chimp...

You said Zoe Chimp already.

Nah, another Zoe Chimp. She moved in next door.

-So, what's the problem?

-What'll Cindy say if she finds out?

I've got eight other girlfriends, Tommy.

It ain't funny, mate.

She'll go bananas.

She'll scream and shout, slap the ground with her hands and feet.

Show me her teeth and turn her back for the whole afternoon.

Just like when I nicked her mango. I know she will.

-Listen, you got it all wrong. She won't be mad.

-You reckon?

You're a chimpanzee, mate.

It's perfectly normal to have loads of girlfriends.

It's true!

You can have as many girlfriends as you like.

Trust me, Cindy will understand.

How can you be so sure?

Because I took her to dinner,

after she got back from the pictures with Jimmy Chimp,

then went bowling with Andy Chimp,

and I saw her get into a taxi to go to the theatre with another chimp.

-Cheater!

-No, it wasn't a cheetah. It was definitely a chimp.

She's got lots of boyfriends and you've got lots of girlfriends.

-It's cool.

-So it's all right.

Yeah, you were worried about nothing.

So, come on, give me a hug.

THEY SHRIEK

Thanks, bruv.

# Grown ups collect stuff, too. #

Hey, you might collect Top Trumps

-but you'll never guess what this bloke collects.

-Cheshire!

Well, at least we'll know what time it is.

It's cuckoo time.

CUCKOO!

Is it one of the biggest collections in the world?

It is the biggest collection in the world.

-The biggest?

-The biggest, but remember,

everything we have was made within a 25-mile radius of each other.

They all come from the same place?

In the Black Forest in southern Germany.

So if they don't come from the Black Forest are they classed

-as cuckoo clocks still?

-Aliens.

-OK, I understand.

All these clocks are from the Black Forest in Germany.

Yep, as it happens, I know quite a lot about the Black Forest.

-GERMAN ACCENT:

-Oh, really!?

-You think you know about the Black Forest?

-Ja.

Eins, zwei, drei...

MUSIC: "Mastermind Theme"

Where is the Black Forest?

The Black Forest is a wooded, mountain range in south-west Germany.

-What else comes from the Black Forest?

-A Black Forest gateaux.

I had one on my ninth birthday and I ate too much of it.

When I sneezed it came out of my nose.

Don't let it put you off because it's a really nice cake.

-What am I wearing?

-Lederhosen.

Actually, did you know that on a pair of lederhosen there's a side pocket

that you can't fit a lot in, apart from a knife and a fork.

-You're right!

-I know I'm right.

But not all cuckoo clocks have cuckoos in them.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-How are you?

-Great, thanks.

-You look well.

-Thanks. You too.

-Thanks.

Look, I was just wondering if maybe you'd like to go for...

-Hi.

-Hello.

I'll make this quick because we don't get very long out here, do we?

-Ja, I noticed that.

-I was just wondering if you... Oh.

CLOCK CHIMES

It's a shame there isn't a way

we could stay out here for longer together.

Mm, come to think of it, we do live in the same house.

You'd think there'd be some sort of connecting door or something.

Maybe there is. I've never looked.

You know what, neither have I.

-I am not coming out.

-Ja, neither am I.

-We are having a snog.

-SQUEAKING NOISE

I think time is ticking on so we better go, Joe, but before we go,

we'd like to give you this little

All Over The Place cuckoo clock, Robin.

-Thank you very much.

-What do you think? Where will you put it?

I think we'll put it with the organs, don't you?

ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS

Whaaaa...?

'Who is on the phone?

'Could it be a Bat Emergency?'

Oh, shut up.

-'Oh, that's a bit rude.'

-Hello, Bird Ed here.

-SQUEAKY VOICE

-It's Batwoman.

Hi, Batwoman, yeah. Hi...

Can I start by saying I am a massive fan.

How you get costumes that fit you, I don't know. You need our help?

We'll be there in an instant.

You must be Batwoman, we're here to help.

-You've come to feed the bats?

-Yes. Was that all you wanted us to do?

Yes, feeding the bats.

You didn't really need to dress up.

-Oh... All right, then.

-Come in.

You're not going batty,

this really is a bat hospital and it opened in 1997.

Right, Holly, this is the bat you can feed.

-OK.

-If you'd like to take a seat.

Now this is a grey long-eared, she's just warming up.

-Can you see her fizzing there?

-Yeah.

..to conserve energy, so they have to shake to wake up.

Right, head first, I've got him.

I'm more scared of these bugs than I am of the bats.

-Come on, here's lunch.

-Oh, they taste gorgeous.

These are fantastic mealworms with lots of fibre.

The bats love them.

That's it, once she gets hold of it.

-OK, I think she's had enough now, Holly.

-OK.

-They don't need a lot of those because they're quite big.

-Right.

Some people complain about being crammed into a house

with their brothers and sisters...

Look at these guys, 20 to a box!

These are where the bats live permanently that stay with us.

It's like a hospital/hotel. They're nocturnal, aren't they?

They are nocturnal, yes.

He doesn't like being woken up, does he?

This is a Bechstein's which is one of the rarest bats in Britain.

What myths about them aren't true?

The biggest myth is bats are blind.

Actually bats have got a very good eyesight.

-They only see in black and white.

-'But they do love hanging around.'

Everything will be fine.

-Relax... Argh!

-What's the matter?

I don't know. I'm just scared.

-Scared, what of?

-The dark.

The dark? But you're a bat.

I know, it's stupid, isn't it? A bat being scared of the dark.

-There's something else I'm scared of too.

-What's that?

-Bats!

-How can you be scared of bats?

-I don't know. I always have been.

It must've been horror films I watched as a kid.

They start zipping around in the air and then land in someone's hair.

That just simply isn't the case. Horror films have just made it up.

Bats have got very good sense of direction.

When they leave a cave they always turn in the same direction,

they always go left.

Oh, I see, I thought that was just coincidence.

Maybe it's the size of them.

In those films they were like giant, flying rats.

Well, in real life that simply isn't the case.

I mean, most species are actually smaller than us.

90% of bats actually weigh less than 25 grams.

-What's 25 grams?

-Oh, about the same as a packet of crisps.

Maybe it's those other flying mammals.

There are no other flying mammals. We are the only flying mammals.

Maybe it's just being a bat that I'm scared of.

I mean, our legs are so thin we can't even walk on the ground.

It's terrifying, really.

Well, no, it's not terrifying,

if you consider we never walk on our feet.

-We're always upside-down or flying.

-Good point, good point.

I guess my fears are a bit stupid.

I believe they are.

I say take a deep breath in, go outside, join our chums,

eat some tasty insects and say no more about it. OK?

-Yes, thank you for the pep talk.

-No problem.

One problem, you'll be doing this solo, I'm not coming with you.

-Why not?

-I'm scared of flying.

-Oh!

-Oh!

I hope you don't get seasick,

the SS Great Britain used to be the biggest ship in the world.

-Ed, you don't have to worry because captains don't get seasick.

-What?

Whenever I'm on a ship,

I'm always the captain. It's like a rule.

There's only room for one captain on this ship.

-You're right.

-OK, all right. First one to the hull is the captain.

-Deal. On the count of three.

-Yeah.

-One.

-Oi!

That's Izzie to his mates.

# Let's go! #

Ha-ha! First one to the hull equals Captain Stirling.

Thank you very much.

Really? Really Captain Stirling, OK. How deep is that water?

Oh, a couple of hundred metres.

Ha! it's that deep. It's sitting on top of a glass roof.

It's so people can see the bottom of the ship.

Knowing facts like that proves I should be the Captain, actually.

Ed and Iain, you have 37 seconds

to find out as many facts as you can about the SS Great Britain.

Ed, you have Rhian.

Iain, you have a famous engineer Isambard.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner. 3, 2, 1, go!

-Isambard, how are you? Are you well?

-Very well, thank you.

-Can I wear your hat?

-No.

-What does SS stand for?

-Steamship.

-What's so revolutionary about the design?

-It was the first ship

built from iron with a screw propeller.

-When was it built?

-1843.

-How big is it?

-3,400 tonnes, 322 ft long, 50 ft wide.

-That's impressive.

-How many people travelled on it?

-Up to 600.

-That could fit on it?

-Yes.

-Why here?

-Because it was built here.

-What fuel did it use to move around?

-It used coal and the power from the wind in its sails.

-Sails? OK, good.

-Could I be a top-class designer?

-You could.

Definitely with that hairstyle.

-Were there any animals on board?

-Yes. Sheep, cows, pigs, chickens

-and a porpoise.

-'Time's up, boys.'

-Thank you very much, Isambard.

-'And the winner is...

'..Ed!'

Yes! Captain Petrie, I like the sound of that.

-You're my steward now.

-Yes...

So, salute, salute, come on!

Right, a quick ship inspection, I think.

You're very lucky to be here. It's only cos you're my steward.

-OK...

-Now, polish that?!

-What bit?

-All of it!

Ah, look at that, the best of British engineering. I love it.

-You called?

-Did I?

-Yeah.

Well, um, tighten those nuts!

-Steward!

-What now?

There's a blockage in the toilet. Sort it out, will you?

You've got to be j...

-'Eurgh, I'm glad this isn't Smell-o-vision.'

-There you are.

Yes! Finally, something to eat.

-I am starving.

-Er, have you got a first class ticket that allows you

-to eat at the captain's table?

-No.

Can I please at least have a seat?

No, sorry, there isn't any room.

I love this ship.

Steward!

Fetch me my... binoculars.

And stop that huffing and puffing!

You're out of shape! You need to get shipshape!

-It's time for the pirate fitness workout.

-Hello there!

I'm Ann Bonny, famous female pirate, and welcome to Shipshape.

MUSIC: "Hung Up" by Madonna

Let's hoist and hoist and hoist and hoist that pirate flag.

Here come the British ships.

It's all in the hips, it's all in the hips. That's ships and hips!

OK, now it's time to work those glutes. Let's bury the treasure.

You can have your binoculars back now, Iain.

-Thanks.

-You know what I like about being the captain?

-What's that?

-Being in control of all this.

-HE LAUGHS

-What?

-Nothing.

-You see all these people, looking at me now?

-Yeah...

Pointing and smiling. They're all thinking, "He's the captain."

That's right, Ed, it's got nothing to do with the circles

round your 'aye-ayes'...

This is Blackpool's giant mirror ball - the biggest in the UK.

Wow, they'd have trouble tangoing around that on Strictly Come Dancing.

'Oof, that looks quite a handful, Ed.

-'It weighs four and a half tonnes!

-You better not drop it then.

'And it's got 46,000 mirrors on it!

'46,000 mirrors, eh?

'That's one mirror for every four people in Blackpool.

'That's a tight squeeze!

'Just as well they're not shaped like giant mirror balls.'

If everybody were shaped in the shape of giant balls,

they would be quite chubby.

Then we could use cannons instead of cars and boats, human cannonballs.

And you can bounce.

You'd start very slowly, then higher and higher and higher...

and higher and higher and higher and higher!

Eventually, you'd get to space

and you'd just be suspended in space, floating like a ball,

like a new planet, just a big circular thing floating in space,

and that's bad manners. What would the aliens think?

Oh, they'd be shocked.

# Get the motor running Head off in our sports car

# In the Scottish Highlands At the wildlife park

# Hey, Johny, have you ever wondered

# About endangered animals of mountains and tundra?

# There's 200 of them here more or less

# At the Highland Wildlife Park near Inverness

# Did I just see a bison? Isn't that a red deer?

# It's quite hard to tell From all the way over here

# I could do with seeing them a little bit clearer

# We could tell what they were if we got a bit nearer

# To be honest, this is as close as I dare

# Between you and me I'm a little bit scared

# Looking at wild animals

# Living in peaceful co-existence

# Looking at wild animals

# But from behind a fence at a safe distance

# Check out the Scottish wildcats

# They're faster than lightening

# I'll stay in the car

# They look a bit frightening

# What about the Tibetan wild ass?

# Sounds lethal if it's OK, I'll pass

# Quick, run for your life isn't that a lynx?

# It's probably more scared of you I should think

# Looking at wild animals

# Would this be a good point to remind you

# Looking at wild animals

# There's a ferocious camel behind you

# I'm rigid with fear

# Can we get out of here?

# Hang on, before we go

# There must be time for a guitar solo... #

# Looking at wild animals

# Looking at wild animals

# Just take me home! #

Excuse me, have you seen TV's Ed Petrie anywhere?

It's me! I'm already wearing my panto costume.

-Why have you come dressed as an ugly sister?

-I resent that.

This is what I'm wearing for the Pantomime Grand National.

-I am Widow Twankey.

-No!

It's the Pantomime Horse Grand National!

-You'll be dressed as a horse.

-What?

I'm not going as the back end of a horse!

That's the only place for you!

But it's not necessary. I'll show you the costume. Come on.

Oh well, at least I can still wear this at home.

I didn't just say that out loud, did I?

'Oh, yes, you did. It's the Pantomime Horse Grand National.

'Geddit? Oh, yes... Pantomime! I'm wasted on you lot.

'The Pantomime Horse Grand National has been running for eight years.

-'Oh, no, it hasn't!

-Oh, yes, it has.

'Oh, no, it hasn't!

'Oh, not this again.

'Let's hope Ed's trousers don't fall down.

'Watch out! It's behind you! Literally.

' It's the name of Gemma's horse.'

Ha, ha! Here we go. I've got to go and parade around

and show everyone what we look like.

I don't feel silly at all.

Whoa! He's a frisky one.

He's a frisky one, this one!

Keep him under control...

Oh! Stop eating the camera!

Oh! Aaaah!

-How's Mr Ed doing?

-He's a nightmare.

I can't keep him under control.

I told you once and I'll tell you again...!

May the best horse win.

Yes. There we go, nuzzle noses.

Oh, he's off again! Leave the camera alone!

First race on our card today,

it's the fillies and there's Gemma taking an early lead.

She's off and she's running. There's some stiff competition.

Up to the first jump. Who'll be over?

-Any falls? No.

-She's cleared the first jump! She did it!

Yes, she did, well-observed, young man. You used your eyes.

He doesn't fancy her chances.

Come on now, Gemma, giddy up, girl! Trot on, trot on!

I'm exhausted!

OK, now Gemma's halfway through the race.

Now, Mr Ed, that's the finish line, OK?

This is a very important shot, so whatever you do, don't... Ah!

Stop it!

And Gemma's doing very well.

She's coming down and being greeted by many of the fans.

She has to chase The Pink Lady, who's out in the lead.

She's now in second place. Come on, Gemma.

Gemma's coming over the final hurdle.

She's got nothing left. Look at her.

Look at her, she's worn out.

And as Gemma comes down to the end, it's quite clear that her real legs

are as floppy as the legs at the side of the horse.

She's done it. She's home in second!

-Oxygen, please.

-I'm exhausted!

-You came second!

-I know! It's really hard!

Thank you! Yeah!

-Let's see if Ed can beat Gemma.

-Fingers crossed I beat him.

-I'm going to come first.

-Ha, good luck!

They're under starter's orders.

Ed looking very jittery on the start line. It's all to play for here.

He has to come in first to beat Gemma.

They're off - heading for the first jump and it's bunching.

They're bunching badly. There's a big group of guys who...

Oh, he's down! He's down at the first jump. We have our first...

And he's back-up, looking pretty in pink and carrying on.

There goes Ed, legs flailing everywhere, false ones and his own.

And there's the cameras getting the action. And they're coming over.

These men are very very competitive

and Ed is lagging way behind. He's going to have a lot of work to do.

So I'm just approaching the finishing line waiting for Ed to cross it,

in a better position than me.

Quite remarkable performance from young Ed, his first time out

in the Pantomime Chase. He's currently in fourth position.

Can't actually see him at the minute.

-I don't think it's going to happen.

-I think you might be right.

Oh, there's a round peg going through a square hole, it's our Ed.

Oh, and he's moving up into third position. Come on!

Come on, Ed!

He's almost there. He's into second place!

He's got second! He's stolen second!

It's Ed, all the way in second!

-Yay!

-Well done!

Yeah! Both second!

So it's a draw. They both came a very respectable second.

-Well done.

-Thank you.

-Congratulations.

I've had an idea, instead of having the trophy between you,

why don't we have a run-off?

-A run-off? No! No way!

-No thanks.

-All right, then.

-No, it's a draw and we share the trophy.

-OK.

We can have it alternate months.

-I'll have it first.

-No, alternate weeks.

-No, months.

-Weeks.

-It's like more then, isn't it?

-No, weeks is stupid. Months.

-We need to share it properly.

-All right, all right...

-Ooh!

-There you go.

-We'll split in half.

-Oh, dear!

'That's one way to share it!

'You've been watching All Over The Place!'

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