Tennis, Windmills and Orange Racing! All Over the Place

Join your CBBC buddies on a madcap dash around the UK!

Ed winds up Johny.

Naomi gets deep.

I have never been this deep!

Iain makes a RACKET.

Right, come on!

Rani finds herself full of wind.

And Barney gets orange squashed!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, south, east, west On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates, all over the place!

# It's true what you've heard, everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't know this stuff was in the UK

-# But it turns up...

-..all over the place! #

MOBILE PHONE RINGS

Oh, Ed!

You all right, Ed Petrie, mate?

What?

Of course I'm ready to play real tennis.

I'm hardly going to play it in my imagination, am I?

TWINKLING HARPS

What's that?

Leamington Spa Tennis Club? Yeah, yeah.

Pick me up in about five minutes?

Wicked! See you, bye.

CAR TYRE SCREECHES Here we go!

Er, Ed, where's the tennis court?

Oh, the real tennis court's inside.

Oh, I'm glad the REAL tennis is in that REAL building(!)

Are you the real Ed Petrie? Is this a real car, mate?

-Is that a real headband?

-Get off!

And this is real confusion on Iain's face.

Aww, bless!

He looks like a puppy that's just been shown a magic trick!

What is this place?

I told you, this is real tennis.

Real tennis is the original game of tennis.

It's known as the sport of kings and it was played by Henry VIII.

The game's been around for 700 years and it's still played today

in the UK, France, Australia and the US of A.

The rules and scoring are similar to lawn tennis,

but there are differences.

For example, you can only serve from one side of the court

and can hit the balls off the walls! Crazy!

I just wondered if you could help?

I brought my friend here to amaze and confuse him,

-but I don't know how to play myself.

-OK.

This is Kevin, he's a professional real tennis player -

a special title, as there's only 6,000 in the world!

It's very much like squash.

You've got to keep the ball underneath that white line

and below the ceiling.

The rest of the game is very much more like tennis.

You have this net.

And the point-scoring at this game is exactly the same as lawn tennis.

The scoring might be similar, but the court isn't!

These lines and numbers help in the scoring system

and determine where the player serves the ball from.

A real tennis court has a very hard floor.

This one's made from concrete, so you guys better not fall over!

Oh, and they're already looking REAL competitive!

They're doing a proper REAL warm up.

I somehow think they're going to be REAL rubbish.

ED GRUNTS

The problem is this racket! It's stupid! It's out of shape.

It's like someone's hit it on the floor.

That'll be me in about ten minutes!

And real tennis rackets are heavier than modern ones, Ed.

The flat side makes it easier to hit the ball when closer to the ground,

although it isn't helping you! The balls are different too.

Look at these things! They're like weapons!

Look at the dodgy stitching. Look at that! I could stitch better!

Look how much they weigh! Watch this. No tennis ball should do this.

That's right, these balls aren't very bouncy

because they're made from cloth and wool, not rubber.

In normal tennis, you have to,

"Oh, better hit it nice, keep it in the box."

In this, I can hit it as high or as hard as I want

and the ball just bounces back in. This is amazing!

-Iain, come on!

-Right, come on!

Rargh!

Ooh!

Aww!

-Ah!

-Yeah-h-h!

-Good game, mate.

-Good game!

-Tell you what, that is difficult!

Real tennis is really tiring.

Yeah, I can't believe how quickly the ball just comes at you as well.

-My knees hurt from this floor.

-Let's get some water.

-Ah, water!

-I'm not surprised King Henry VIII never lost a game.

I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of him!

WIMBLEDON THEME PLAYS

'Yes, welcome to Wimbledon and the match between world champion

'Ivan Quiteamouthfulovitch and King Henry VIII.'

Rargh-ah!

'And it looks like the King's got a problem already, John.'

'Yes, David, probably because his strings are still made of cat gut.

'Thankfully, he brought a spare cat just in case.'

MIAOW! Argh, argh!

'Oh, dear! Looks like the cat has other ideas, John.

'Well, he's opted for a new racket instead.

'And it's Henry VIII to serve.'

Service! I demand service!

'Ah! The reason we call it a serve is because the King's servant

'throws the ball up for him.

'But serving up tea and cakes as well, John?

'Yes, he's clearly trying to upset his opponent.

'Very unsportsmanlike.

'But now we're off!'

Rargh!

Uh-h-h-h!

'A terrific return from Quiteamouthfulovitch!'

Uh!

'Lovely backhand by the King.'

-UMPIRE:

-Out!

-What?!

-Yeah!

Thou cannot be serious!

There's no way that was out!

Even my ex-wife knew that wasn't out!

And she's had her head cut off! BOO-O-O!

Right, that's it, off with his head!

And his head!

And her head! And his head!

'We've seen this happen so many times before.

'We have, but it wouldn't be Wimbledon without it.'

Cut all their heads off!

Apart from her! I quite like her, she's got nice shoulders.

# Things that stick out of the sea-a-a-a! #

'Folkestone!'

Oh, I am so excited about going to France!

The shopping, the cafes, the croissants.

The language Francais.

I've been learning French!

Don't we cross the English Channel to go to France?

Oui, oui, mon cheri.

Well, how is a train supposed to cross the sea?

Oh!

Via the Channel Tunnel, of course.

This tunnel is the largest undersea tunnel in the world,

and it connects England to France.

Oh, wow! A tunnel that runs under the sea? That's deep!

VOICEOVER: 'Ed and Naomi, you have 54 seconds each

'to find out as much as you can about the Channel Tunnel.

'Ed, you've got Paul, our expert from France,

'so you're going to be doing this en Francais!

'Naomi, you've got John, our expert from the UK,

'so you get to do yours in English.

'Trois, deux, un, depeche-toi!'

THEY SPEAK FRENCH

-How long did it take to dig the tunnel?

-Six years.

Um, uh...

No, no, no, er...

How did you do the tunnel under the sea?

With a great big tunnel-boring machine.

How long does is a single journey from London to Paris?

Two hours 15 minutes.

How much did it cost to build it?

£6 billion.

HORN BLASTS

Brilliant! I think we did pretty well. Thanks, John.

We've run out of time, basically, is what's happened.

VOICEOVER: 'And the winner is...

'Naomi!'

Yes-s-s! In your face!

-ED SHOUTS IN FRENCH

-Aw-haw-haw-haw!

Ah-h-h, zut alors!

Tres bien, Naomi! And I hope you're not scared of the dark, guys,

cos you're going in the Channel Tunnel service tunnel!

And it's going to be really dark, I'm assuming?

It is going to get darker and darker as we go down.

The service tunnel is the third tunnel that runs in-between

the two rail tunnels.

That's the most times I've ever said "tunnel" in one sentence.

In here are doors that lead into the railway tunnels.

In this tunnel, the trains are going that way to France.

-Just there, they're going that way.

-Over there, they go to England.

And we're in the middle of it all!

-You see that door over there?

-Yeah.

-"Ne pas ouvrir,"

that means "Do not open."

-I know that cos it says it above in English.

-Oh, yeah.

So we must be even deeper now, are we?

-Right here we've got 60m of sea.

-What?!

And then 40m of rock, making 100m below sea level.

100m? That's the same height as 23 double-decker buses

piled on top of each other!

-100 metres under the sea!

-I have never been this deep!

That is so exciting, I think it deserves a deep celebration!

PARTY!

MUSIC: "Party Rock Anthem" by LMFAO

PARTY WHISTLES BLOW

Aww! That was great!

This is so impressive!

I can't believe they've managed to build a tunnel under the sea.

Well, if you think that's impressive, come and see this.

Away from what looked like one of the best parties I've ever seen,

at the top of the tunnel is the pretty cool control centre.

It's very techy and from here you can see all the trains and traffic

arriving and departing.

So here we are.

This is the control room.

What's this mean?

-This is France and all the trains and platforms.

-Wow!

These are the tunnels here?

-These are the tunnels here.

-What's that at the top?

-That's the service tunnel.

-What's this thing?

We're back in England now.

Our train's going to France soon, so we'd better get going!

-Oh, yeah.

-You ready?

Yeah, there's something I'm going to do. I'll catch up with you.

-OK, don't be long!

-I won't!

Watch this!

This is an important station announcement.

Would all the passengers on the platform please stand on one leg.

# Stand in the place where you were... #

And jump up and down.

# You can rock it You can roll it

# You can stop and you can stroll it At the hop, hop, hop, hop... #

And dance the Charleston.

CHARLESTON TUNE PLAYS

-'Ah-ha-ha-ha!'

-Oh, come on!

Petrie! Pe...

-Petrie! Is that you?

-Ah-ha-ha!

I am going to get you for this! Oh, look, Ed! Our train's coming!

-Oh, you're going to miss it!

-What?! Oh, no, no! No, no, no!

Only joking!

# What are you thinking?

# What are you thinking?

# What are you thinking? #

'Chesterton!'

'What is it with this wind, Rani?

'Eh, yeah, sorry about that.

'That'll be the sprouts from lunch time!

'Er, I was talking about the weather. That's disgusting!

'Talking of wind, look at that!'

# They talk a lot of wind And they talk a lot of wind

# And they talk a lot of wind And they talk a lot of wind

-# They talk a lot of wind. #

-'This is Chesterton Windmill.

'Wow, it is big!

'It was built in 1632.

'It's made from limestone and sandstone.

'Now, Ed, did you know that the UK is the windiest country in Europe?

'I also know a lot about the other wind.

'Did you know that our bodies pass half a litre of gas per day?

-'Half a litre?

-Ooh, yeah!

-'That's approximately 14 passes of wind per day!

-14 times?

'If Britain has a population of 60 million people, that's lots of wind!'

'I wonder what would happen if there was no wind?'

If there was no wind, well, you'd have to wear nose pegs

because the wind won't be there to blow all the smells away.

As it's so sunny, you'd be walking around in your bikini

and everyone will be like, "Hi!" And even men will wear bikinis.

If you were, like, rich and famous, you could, like, hire people

that walked around with fans.

If there was no winds, you wouldn't have to close your eyes

for when grannies' skirts blow up and you see their pantaloons!

Frilly ones especially!

# Grown ups collect stuff to-o-o-o! #

'Northleach!'

I'm really looking forward to this one, Ed.

-What a unique place to visit!

-I think you're right.

Yeah, I mean, even its name's called... O-o-o-o-ooh!

Johny?

Johny?!

Oh, typical BBC!

I didn't realise Johny was one of those old clockwork presenters!

I suppose we're in the right place.

MECHANICAL WHIRRING AND TICKING

VOICEOVER: '50 years collecting!

'50 in the collection!

'Keith is Mechanical Music Man!'

WHIRRING AND CLICKING

-..orld!

-There you are. That's better.

-That's a relief, I was a bit worried.

-Thanks, Keith.

-You're welcome.

-Can we have a look around?

-Of course. With pleasure.

-Still a bit stiff.

MECHANICAL MUSIC AND CHIRRUPING

Wind them up and watch them go.

Or listen to them go?

MECHANICAL MUSIC PLAYS

What's this, Keith? It's like a juke box or something.

Well, it's called a Polyphon. It's a disc-playing musical box.

The programming device is this metal disc.

They were effectively the world's first floppy disc, you see.

This is how you listened to music 100 years ago.

-Would you like to choose a tune?

-Have you any Tinie Tempah?

-LAUGHS

-No, no.

-I like the sound of "She's My Wife"!

-She's My Wife?

-Yes, let's go with that one.

-There you are. So we line that up...

-and then you can...

-Ah, look at this.

-..see the action.

-No electricity powering this?

No, it's entirely mechanical.

SWEET CHIMING MUSIC

We take it for granted now. We plug our MP3 players in

and listen, but here it looks so complex.

It has to go to so much trouble to play one song. It's incredible.

# She's my wife!

-# Hands off! Hands off!

-She's my wife!

# I know what you're up to You think she's quite nice

# But I'll tell you again She's my wife!

-BOTH:

-# She's my wife! #

-LAUGHTER

Well, here we have a little milk churn. This is very handy

if I feel like a drink of milk, you see. So, um...

-Oh, dear! Oh, dear.

-MILK CHURN PLAYS MUSIC

The kitten's got there first!

-ED LAUGHS

-He's drunk all the milk.

That is the creepiest looking kitten that I've ever seen in my life.

That looks exactly the same!

PIANO PLAYS JOLLY TUNE

I didn't know you played the piano, Johny.

There's a lot of things you don't know about me, Ed.

-I'm not just a pretty face.

-You're really good.

-Thanks.

If the only skill you needed to play an instrument was to wind it up,

like the mechanical music in this collection,

then surely ANYONE could do it.

And to prove it, here's a new release from Ed and Iain,

I mean O'Petrie and O'My on the All Over The Place charts.

VOICEOVER: 'Always innovators, never imitators, O'Petrie and O'My

'present the classic new album Mechanical Dreams -

'a melodic marathon motivated by many miscellaneous mechanical marvels.

'Not 'alf! Including the hit single, Don't Let The Birds Out!

# Don't let the bird out!

# Don't let the bird out!

# It is not real It cannot fly

# In a gilded cage We know not why

# Built in 1990 in gay Paris

# I can swear it is staring at me

# Don't let the bird out

-BOTH:

-# Don't let the bird out! #

'Featuring the unfeatherable, unreal,

'unbelievable epic - A Rabbit In A Cabbage.'

# When the bunny came up and out to play

# Oh ee ai ooh ai!

-# Its eyes lit up and I ran away

-Oh ee ooh ai hu-way! #

'Of course they've captured the corrosive,

'creepy and convolutedly named Good White Faced Clown With Mandolin.'

# In 1876 it was made

# It plays its music

# In swathes and swathes

# This pretty clown takes pride of place

# And I am terrified of its evil face. #

'Help yourself to O'Petrie and O'My and help them pay for

'the new extravagant album and figure-hugging tops.'

Here we are near West Wycombe in Buckinghamshire, at the site of

an amazing underground feature dating from the 18th century -

the Hellfire Caves!

# Hellfire! #

-Have you finished?

-Yep.

So, as I was saying, here we are at the Hellfire Caves

and a high society club called Hellfire regularly...

# Hellfire! #

Why are you dressed like that? We're meant to be dressed

from the 18th century.

# Hellfire! #

-Let's just do the song.

-Yeah, good to go.

# Back in the 18th century Sir Francis Dashwood

# Enjoyed partying with friends perhaps more than he should

# And so that they could enjoy their secret late-night raves

# He formed the Hellfire Club deep in the Hellfire Caves

# The caves went underground for a quarter of a mile

# He'd had them excavated in an ornate style

# Hellfire... #

-SPOKEN:

-Dark and secret caves carved out of the chalk.

To reach the deepest cave is a 12 minute walk.

# ..Hellfire... #

Where members of the club once could be found

partying the night away deep under the ground.

# One member of the club name of Paul Whitehead

# Had an unusual request for after he was dead

# He donated his heart in this little urn

# It really is enough to make your stomach churn

# They say that Whitehead's chamber is colder than most!

# And the caves are haunted by his heartless ghost!

-# Hellfire... #

-The miner's cave. The steward's cave.

Tunnels as well.

A banquet hall for dining guests each with a tale to tell.

-# ..Hellfire... #

-The tunnel forks and there's a decision to make.

Right if I'm good, left if not. Ooh, which shall I take?

# ..To reach the inner temple you must cross the River Styx

# It separates us from the underworld according to Greek myths!

# The stalactites that hang here are beautifully displayed... #

Yeah, I think you'll find they're actually manmade.

-# Hellfire... #

-The inner temple is deeper than a well.

A church above as Heaven, this cave below as Hell.

-# ..Hellfire... #

-Dashwood and his posh mates partied all night long.

-# ..Hellfire... #

-Playing cards and having fun and singing cheeky songs.

-# ..Hellfire... #

-But now we know what these caves are all about...

..Can anyone remember which is the way out?

MUSIC ENDS

I love Devon - fresh air,

cream teas and Barney Harwood dressed as an orange.

Yeah. Why am I dressed as an orange?

We're here for the Totnes orange rolling race.

You aren't rolling me down a hill!

No, don't worry, Barney. We're not.

The course is 450 metres...

-Excuse me, Officer.

-Good morning.

Trying to find out about orange rolling in Totnes.

-Do you know anything about it?

-Yes, I do.

In Totnes, we have orange races every year.

So, is the idea to beat the orange?

-If the orange runs fast, you run faster than it to win the race?

-No.

You finish the race with your orange, or bits of it.

What you do is roll the orange, chase after it.

Either kick it, or pick it up. You must finish with your orange.

-Could you teach us how to do this?

-I could, yes. No problem.

So this is orange rolling.

Must we roll it underarm or can you chuck it overarm?

You can throw it overarm but most people will roll it underarm

to give you more control of the orange.

-OK.

-One, two, three, go!

Hey! Which one's mine? Which one's mine? Does it matter?

As long as you kick one over the line, or pick it up,

before you finish the race.

Time for some practice. Things are about to get juicy.

-What are you doing?

-I'm immersing myself in orange.

There's nothing more orange than these people.

Very cheeky, Mr Petrie! You can't call these celebrities orange!

I mean, look at them! They're... OK, maybe you can.

It's like a satsuma convention!

How's that going to help you win the orange race?

I hadn't really thought that bit through.

BOING! BOING!

BOING! BOING!

Yes!

I'm sorry, Dale. I'm sorry. He'll have to get a nose job now.

-That's it. No pain, no gain.

-GRUNTS

What, you're feeling out of shape?!

You're an orange! You've only one shape!

-Gnargh!

-That's OK.

Look at Clemmie. He knows what he's doing. He's got the right gear.

His camouflage is perfect. He's thinking about it.

He's showing commitment. You've got to show some passion...fruit!

GRUNTS AND STRAINS

That was a fruitless attempt. Training's over, boys.

-The event's starting.

-Oyez!

Oyez! Today we have the orange races which will commence at 11:00am.

God save the Queen.

Can you keep off the road, cos the young ones are going to run down?

-APPLAUSE

-Go on, mate! Go on!

-Yay!

CHEERING

Can I run with my mum holding my hand?

It's a nutmeg. Yes!

Beautifully done.

Let these roll through your legs. Some of those oranges

are in good shape considering they've been thrown down a hill.

-I've noticed something.

-What?

The little ones run down a really mini hill.

-That's the one we're running down.

-Oh.

-It's a little bit steeper.

-Steeper, longer, harder.

You're going to get juiced!

WHISTLE BLOWS

The legend behind orange rolling...

This caused the boy to drop his oranges...

..before they became orange squash.

There's a lot of obstacles. It's not just a case

of throwing it down the lane and chasing after it in a straight line.

But you can just cheat and nick somebody else's.

-Perfectly all right to do that.

-I'm doing that.

You'll be all right. We've seen a lot of splattered oranges.

Our oranges are trembling. They're nervous about this cos they've seen

how their friends have turned out.

-BELL RINGS

-It's time for Ed and Barney to race.

Oh! No! Don't go!

-False start.

-Your orange nearly got away there.

-It did.

-That was nearly a really bad start.

-You've got a frisky one there.

I know. My orange is jumping out of my hands!

-Get set...

-WHISTLE BLOWS

And they're off. Ed streaks into the lead.

SATSUMA way to do it, Petrie. And... Oh,

a policeman pushing another policeman.

It could be anyone's orange, it doesn't matter.

Barney is running out of his SKIN now. Is he PEELING away form Ed?

As we get to the closing stages of the race,

Ed picks up an orange, Barney's in front.

Will he PIP Ed to the post? And he does!

But hold on, ORANGE you missing something, Barney?

You need to be kicking or carrying some fruit!

Will anyone notice that Barney SQUASHED the rules,

or will he get away with it?

This is Tony, he's not involved in running the competition,

he always dresses like this. So, Tony, who won out of us two?

Well, thank you both for taking part in our special orange race,

-but I have to say, sorry, Barney, the winner is Ed!

-Oh...

-Yey-hey!

-Congratulations, Ed. Well done.

-Thank you. Thank you.

-I beat you!

-Don't complain. You must have an orange

-in your hand when you cross the line.

-I DID have an orange.

-You didn't!

-But as consolation, would you like some of mine?

-Yes!

-You mean it?

-Have my orange.

-Thank you, that's lovely.

-It's the kind of guy I am.

-Oh, thanks.

VOICEOVER: 'You've been watching All Over The Place!'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd