Tanks, Rugby and Sandcastles All Over the Place

Would you like to go on an amazing road trip around the UK?

Then get set, as Naomi keeps Ed cool at the beach.

Get off! Get off.

Barney opens magical doors.

-Rani gets the K Factor.

-I believe in you.

And Andy goes for a driving lesson.

# All over the place

# All over the place

# North, South, East, West On a bizarre quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true

# All over the place

# All over the place

# Bet you didn't notice stuff was in the UK

# But it turns up all over the place. #

Ahh, I love a good castle, Rani.

From what I've heard,

Kenilworth Castle has one of the bloodiest histories

of all the castles in England.

I never really took you for the bloodthirsty type of guy.

I thought you were more the puppies and marshmallows kind of bloke.

Rani, you clearly don't know me very well.

I am the CBBC action man.

Aah! There's a spider on me.

-It's just a ladybird, it's just a ladybird.

-Get it off, get it off!

-You really are soft.

-I'm tough.

I'm as tough as any man in English history.

What, tougher than a mediaeval knight?

A silly knight with all the silly clothes they used to wear?

-I'm tougher than a knight.

-You know what? Prove it, Petrie.

KNIGHT GROWLS

Oh, dear.

Well, Ed, you've got a chance to become the first knight

who's scared of ladybirds,

because here at Kenilworth Castle

they have Knight School, where you can learn to be a knight.

Knights were like soldiers in the Middle Ages

and were involved in bloody battles.

Knights were strong, fit and skilled with horses and weapons.

If I'm going to learn to be a knight, what's the coursework like?

There's three steps. The first step, you need to behave like a knight.

Second step, you've got to look like a knight.

This all sounds like jolly good fun.

Third step, you've got to fight like a knight.

Right, not so sure about that last one.

Just going to have a word with Rani about this.

Oi, what are you doing?

This is supposed to be Knight School,

not dressing-as-a-lady school.

Look, if we're going to be historically accurate,

boys, you were knights, and girls, well, we were ladies.

It took up to 10 years to become a knight,

with boys starting as young as 10.

Let's see if Ed's got what it takes.

Live from Kenilworth Castle, it's the K Factor.

Ed, when I look at you, I believe in you.

I know you'll give me 110%.

Right, Ed, the first lesson is how to behave as a knight.

Knights obey the code of chivalry.

Chivalry is courtesy, generosity and good manners.

Does Ed have any of these?

Oh, my, Ed, there's mud on the floor

and I want to walk over it.

-Just...walk over it. Get on with it, that's life.

-Chivalry, Ed.

A true knight would place his coat on the ground

so that the lady wouldn't have to dirty her feet.

It's a nice coat, this.

You don't want to fail the first round of Knight Factor, do you?

If you want to walk over it, put YOUR coat down.

Whatever happened to equality? I'm sending you the dry-cleaning bill.

Thanks. SHE DRAGS HER FEET

Ed, you've really proved yourself today

with your chivalrous behaviour.

You're through to the next round.

-Ed, the second lesson is how to look like a knight.

-Cool.

Nice tights, Ed.

Knights were from noble backgrounds

so they could afford to dress in the best silks and furs.

Ah, Mark. Now, this I like.

This is very liberating because, when you think of knights,

you think of armour and stuff. This is great.

That's fine at the banqueting table, but it's not very good in battle.

In battle, you need to wear some of this heavy armour.

-Mark, how heavy can it be?

-It's heavy.

So this is a mail shirt. It's not chainmail, it's mail. Feeling good?

-Yes, brilliant...

-Hold that to your body. Hold it tight.

This is a breastplate.

Feeling heavy?

A little bit.

This is going to weigh around about 20 kilos.

20 kilograms?!

That's the same as 20 bags of sugar.

Edward, NOW you look like a knight in shining armour.

You are really impressing me today.

It's a yes from me. You're through to the next round.

Right, Ed. Lesson three.

You now need to fight like a knight.

-Er, yeah. Bring it on...I think.

-Your helmet, sir.

And your sword.

HE LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

We've come a long way today. We've seen him develop

from a ladybug scaredy-cat to a chivalrous knight.

And in this final stage of Knight Factor,

we will see him battle it out.

Please join me, put your hands together

for Sir Edward Petrie.

Defend yourself! Arrgh!

BATTLE CRIES

ED LAUGHS NERVOUSLY

Let's just sit at a table, have a nice chat and sort it out!

I think I need a few more days in Knight School.

Maybe a few more years.

Well done, sir. You passed Knight School.

-Well done.

-Ow! Ow!

You just need more practice.

Remind me why we're here, Andy.

-To find a tank for my fish.

-That's it, yes.

-Wouldn't a pet shop be better?

-No, we're in the right place.

I think you've made that hilarious mistake of confusing

a fish tank with an army tank.

-David, this is looking like a pretty impressive collection.

-Yeah.

Is it fair to say this is your pride and joy?

This one here, Little Willie, the first tank ever.

So, yes, absolutely unique.

No way! The first tank ever? That's amazing!

But it could only go at walking pace so, if you ever saw it, run away!

So what made them want to build Little Willie?

-It's quite Big Willie, isn't he?

-I'm not going to lie, he's huge!

This is a machine invented to help us win the First World War.

It doesn't see action in the First World War.

It doesn't fight, but it's still very important

because we learned lots of lessons from trialling or prototyping,

experimenting with this very first tank.

Wow, David. You clearly know a lot about tanks.

Andy, look. This is where a shell

-pierced this tank in the First World War.

-Are you kidding? No way!

Hello!

These are the first tanks used in battle and this is the last one.

Very privileged.

Even the fastest sprinter in he world couldn't keep up!

Reporting for duty, sir!

We thought we'd dress up like this since you're in the army.

No.

Oh.

But we are driving tanks, right?

No, you need at least six weeks' training to drive a tank like this.

-Right.

-Oh.

-But you can drive that.

THEY LAUGH EXCITEDLY

-Oh, yes!

-Come on!

So contenders, are you ready to rumble?

Your challenge today is to steer around some very valuable items.

A china teapot, holding a lovely cuppa.

A selection of scrumptious cakes. Mmm!

This is kind of cool.

And finally, Granny's favourite ornament.

You'd better be really careful with that one.

-Are you ready?

-Yep.

-Let's go!

-Yeah!

Andy, you'll be driving.

Ed, you'll be shouting out directions.

But we'll call you commander to big you up a little.

And they're off!

Let's see how you do with the teapot. Be careful, guys!

It's a lovely cup of tea in a priceless teapot.

Will they get round? Oh, nicely done!

You've avoided it, but can you avoid the cakes?

Can you? You're coming up very, very close! And...

Oh, no! Eat dirt, chocolate eclair!

Well, that's one down, one still up and one still to go.

Can you avoid Granny's favourite ornament?

She'll be very unhappy if that gets crushed.

Oh, dear! She's not giving you a present from her purse!

Never mind. A bit of a disaster. You took out the ornament.

Granny won't be happy. The cup of tea survived.

You can maybe go back for a cuppa.

You definitely won't want that chocolate eclair though.

It's more like a chocolate pancake!

Ah, mate. Sorry! I didn't miss those cakes though. I'm hungry.

Don't worry, I'm taking us to the bakery.

-Oh, is it pay and display on the high street?

-I don't know.

If I can't find a parking space,

-I'll just park on top of someone's car.

-Ha-ha!

At least yours hasn't broken down, not like this one.

Smythe, it won't budge!

I knew this tank invention wouldn't work!

And now we're stuck in the mud, somewhere in the middle of France.

Oh, don't worry yourself, Caruthers, old chap.

Why don't we just radio for help?

But it's 1917, man. Radio hasn't been invented yet.

How bally inconsiderate! How are we meant to communicate?

-Use the homing pigeon.

-Is there a homing pigeon?

-Of course there is.

Every tank's got one.

How else do you think we get messages back to base?

Yes, but it'll be weeks before help arrives.

True.

And we haven't got anything to eat. We'll starve before they get here.

Not if we eat the pigeon.

But if we eat the pigeon, no one will know where we are, you fool.

Well, I guess there's only one thing for it.

We release the pigeon and hope they find us before we starve to death.

Come on, Mr Pigeon. Coo! Coo!

Oh, thank goodness we found you! We didn't think you'd survive.

Very nearly didn't.

What happened to Smythe?

Um... He didn't make it.

-Was he brave till the end?

-No, but he was quite tasty.

I don't suppose you brought any dessert?

'I'm thinking it's great to get a seat,

'slap bang in the centre of Belfast.

'He's just looking for a coat, any coat.

'Mate, he's not looking for a coat.

-'He's looking for a magical land in the back of this wardrobe.

-Eh?

'Narnia!

'This bloke's Digory Kirke, from the first Narnia book.

'Pretty dapper, isn't he? Nice tie, Mister!

'What's the wardrobe made of?

'The guy who made it, Ross Wilson,

'decided to make it out of bronze because it's hard-wearing. Ow!

'No, the real Narnia wardrobe. Where can I get one?

'I fancy a trip to Narnia!

-'Ed, that one was made out of wood from a magic apple tree.

-Oh.

'Don't think I can get my hands on one of them.

'Hey, if your wardrobe could take you to a magical kingdom,

'what would your kingdom be like?'

If my wardrobe could take me to a magical kingdom,

my magical kingdom would be a sweetie kingdom.

In the sweetie kingdom, we would all be gingerbread men and women,

but you'd be a jelly baby first.

It would be brilliant.

Water fountains, they'd be chocolate fountains.

You'd just go to a building and take some marshmallow off it

and go stick it under the fountain and go "Yum!"

Your face is just plain chocolate!

Hello? Yeah, Ed. You're going to have to speak up, mate.

There is a massive rubbish truck right behind me.

-Meet you where the truck's going? Well, where's that?

-Here, Kel.

For once, Ed's talking rubbish and getting it right at the same time.

This is the SELCHIP Plant.

But it's not just a rubbish tip.

It has a giant furnace that burns trash

and converts heat into electricity.

So if you're watching in South London,

you could be one of the 48,000 homes that it powers.

Ed and Kel, you have 40 seconds to find out as many facts

as possible about this plant.

Kel, you have Richard.

And Ed, you have Marie.

The winner of the challenge gets to operate the giant grabber arm.

Three, two, one, go!

-Hello, can you hear me!

-Yes!

-Good, it's quite loud in here.

-What does SELCHIP stand for?

-South East London Combined Heat And Power.

How much rubbish is burnt here every year?

Around 420,000. That's a lot.

-420,000 what?

-Tonnes?

-Tonnes?

-Yeah.

-That sounds like a lot.

Before this was here, what did you use to do with rubbish?

We used to landfill it, now we burn it and make electricity.

When it's being burned, do you use that in any way?

Yeah, we burn this as electricity.

So when you switch your light at home, you've got electricity.

-Electricity's made from burning the rubbish?

-Yeah.

Amazing!

How much electricity can you make from it?

Enough to make a cup of tea for everyone in the world.

I live down the road. Would my rubbish be here?

ALARM SOUNDS

-Brilliant. So how do you think that went?

-All right.

-Thank you very much.

And the winner is...

-Ed!

-Yes! Oh, yes!

Yeah, let me at that grabber arm! Release the claw!

Behold the power of the claw! Rarrgh!

-Ed, see this lorry here?

-Yeah.

That's carrying on average about 20 tonnes of waste

which is just going to get dropped in there and you can pick it up.

This is so cool!

The room where they store all the rubbish is big enough to hold

400 double decker buses.

Grab it, grab the rubbish. Pick up the rubbish.

Look, I'm closing it!

Do you know what it reminds me of? When you're at a fairground.

-Oh, with the claw?

-That's it.

-That's what it's like.

-With furry toys.

Except this time, the prize is a stinking pile of refuse!

Ed!

Drop it. Drop it!

Yeah! Look at it!

Honestly, they're like a pair of five-year-olds!

I wish I'd got a shot.

But the rubbish is meant to go into the furnace.

In there is rubbish on fire, like a big ball of rubbish which is on fire.

The furnace takes two hours to burn each claw full of rubbish.

And it's rolling down on this thing - conveyor belt -

that's pushing it all the way down to the bottom.

At the bottom it's ash. It's been on fire all the way down there.

-I want to see it. I want to see 60 tonnes of rubbish on fire!

-Let's go!

-Are you ready for this?

-I'm ready.

-Do you feel how hot it is?

-I can think of nothing else I want to see right now.

-OK. Get ready.

It's best that you look up at an angle a little bit.

-OK.

-Three, two, one.

Oh, wow!

LAUGHTER

Oh, my word, I've never seen so much stuff on fire.

-1,000 degrees is how hot it is in there.

-Wow.

And that is what powers the homes in South London.

Rugby!

CHORUS: # The song #

Sporting legend has it that in 1823,

a pupil at this school - Rugby School, in Rugby -

called William Webb Ellis, created a new ball game.

At Rugby School. In Rugby.

Invented a new ball game in Rugby School in Rugby?

I wish you'd give me a clue.

Is it badminton?

Can we just get on with the song?

I've got other things I could be doing.

GUITAR INTRO

# William Webb Ellis was certainly no mug

# When playing football one fine day he gave a simple shrug

# Picked up the ball And ran with it

# And feeling rather smug

# Declared to anyone who'd listen

# I've invented rug...

# ..by. #

Oh, rugby! He could've said.

I'd never have got that.

GUITAR SOLO

# Historians dispute this

# They claim it's inexact

# They feel it owes its origins

# To more than myth than fact

# But that it was invented here

# Cannot be disputed... #

SPEAKS: Although the rules they came up with are somewhat convoluted.

# You can pick it up and run with it

# But try not to get tackled

# You can kick it and chase after it

# But only throw it backwards

# You have to try to score a try

# To have a try goal

# Which means you have to kick it high between those two tall poles

GUITAR SOLO

# Rugby took its name

# From this famous public school

# And the pupils ran upon the mound

# And wrote down the first rules

# In memory of Web Ellis

# There's a statue and a plaque... #

He looks quite determined that he won't give that ball back.

# Rugby tops sprang up as the game spread far and wide

# But then there was an argument in 1895

# And so from that day on

# There were two versions of the game... #

The rules may differ slightly, the basic idea's the same.

# You can pick it up and run with it

# But try not to get tackled

# You can kick it

# And chase after it

# But only throw it backwards

# There's penalties and line-outs It's rather jolly fun

# If you don't mind cauliflower ears Get stuck into the scrum

# Back in the day the goalposts weren't as big

# And the ball was made from the bladder of a pig

# They blew it up just like a balloon... #

I should imagine that pig wasn't exactly over the moon.

# You can pick it up and run with it

# But try not to get tackled

# You can kick it

# And chase after it

# But only throw it backwards

# The fact that I can't kick it straight is just starting to bug me

# But now at least you know the rules of the game they call... #

Badminton

Oh.

Sorry, rugby. Rugby.

# Ed versus...

Naomi!

# In the main event #

-Naomi, Naomi. Why was the sand wet?

-I don't know.

-Because the seaweed.

-Right. Enough.

I challenge you to a sandcastle-off.

If I win, I get to spend a whole day without your rubbish jokes.

OK, right. And if I win,

I get to tell as many rubbish jokes as I like

and I can cover you in sand.

Fine, no problem.

I won a certificate on holiday once for building the best sandcastle.

I won a rosette.

I've also got a trophy.

Well, I won a house. They gave me a house.

It was made of sand, so it wasn't great.

Let's just do this.

-Yeah!

-HE ROARS

Bucket and spade!

Yeah! Roar! Go in!

But I really want Naomi to win, because she's prettiest.

Today, 11 teams are battling it out to build the best sandcastle.

Ed is joining a team that have competed three times before

and, not to be outdone,

Naomi's joining a team that have competed a whopping 16 times.

But will this be their winning year?

Remember, Naomi has won a trophy and Ed's only got rubbish jokes.

Maybe I shouldn't have a plastic shovel.

I think I could scoop out more sand with a mug.

Yes, a mug holding a mug.

Each sandcastle plot is ten metres wide and ten metres long.

It's going incredibly well.

Six to seven people are allowed in a team.

Any design of sandcastle can be made.

When the time's up,

the judges decide which sandcastle is their favourite.

So, Leo, what are we trying to build today?

Basically, we're building

an enormous dragon that's going to be breathing fire.

-The dragon is lying on a table.

-A round table?

-A round table.

So we're doing a 4x4 with Shaun the Sheep on it?

Shaun the Sheep on the bonnet

and a piggy in the mud next to the Land Rover.

The Land Rover's in the mud, Shaun the Sheep is hanging on the bonnet.

-This looks really complicated.

-It is, yes.

Complicated and slightly bizarre,

but previous winners have included a crocodile and otter.

But never a dragon on a table or a sheep on a 4x4.

But whose team will have the edge?

Doug is our secret weapon, because he is a sculptor.

He's even drawn a picture. That is what we're trying to make.

From the top, looking down at it, so it gives us a plan.

It's more complicated than any sandcastle I've made.

-Your normal job is your builder?

-Yeah.

We only know how to use floats.

Maybe I'm on the right team. The team of builders.

-They're all carpenters.

-Oh.

-They're right out of their league here.

Maybe I am on the wrong team.

How's Ed's doing?

-ED ROARS

-Building. Shovels. Sand.

HE ROARS

His is looking pretty good.

I think we need to work a bit faster.

Naomi isn't gardening.

They must have used a huge amount of water on this,

the tallest sandcastle in the world,

built in the USA by another guy called Ed.

It's as tall as seven and a half Kylie Minogues.

I've come to see what the other teams are getting up to.

It appears there is another dragon right next to ours

and it's got a bigger tail, tin-can nostrils and everything.

More dragons. They might be hippos,

but I like to think they're dragons as it will really annoy Naomi.

You? Annoy someone, Ed?

So out of character. Wow, look.

Naomi's team have sped up.

And last, Ed's found his calling,

sticking his fingers in the sheep's nostrils.

I did that. I did the face.

And people are starting to walk past and go,

"It's Shaun the Sheep!" So that's a good sign.

Trouble is, I stepped on the pig. That annoyed one of the builders.

While Ed is picking noses, Naomi is working on teeth.

That's great.

Where should his teeth start from?

-Halfway up his jaw?

-Yeah.

Oh, no, this is not going to be very straightforward.

It's looking more like a crocodile.

What terrible teeth.

And the dragon's teeth aren't looking very good, either!

LAUGHTER I see you're busy helping your team, then. To lose.

While Ed's been away winding Naomi up, Andrew has been pretty busy.

Hang on!

Andrew, what happened to my Shaun the Sheep head?

It melted in the sun.

The one bit that I was pleased with, my Shaun the Sheep head,

they've demolished it and replaced it with that.

I'm gutted. Andrew, I'm gutted.

That was my masterpiece.

You can see Andrew shares your pain! Not long to go now.

The sands of time are running out.

It's pretty much there. We are trying to keep it wet.

The sand is drying out quickly because of the sun

and we don't want it to disintegrate before the judging.

Of course, I'm tempted to say

I'm making a pig's ear of this, but I'm not, it's a pig's tooth.

And, actually, I think I'm doing it quite well.

Andrew let you loose on the pig's teeth?!

Awkward! Looks like he's had a bit of an accident.

Ah. It's just Naomi having a bit of a laugh.

Get off! Get off!

After three hours of building, it's time for the judges to decide.

Here's Naomi's finished dragon.

And here's Ed's Shaun the Sheep on a 4x4 with some pigs.

The competition is fierce

and the sandcastle that took first place was... Drum roll, please.

DRUM ROLL

The sea horse!

But did the judges prefer Ed or Naomi's sandcastle?

Caroline, you're an official judge at the sandcastle competition.

Who did best out of us two?

Well, Ed, I can tell you that you came...

seventh.

-Ooh. Out of the 11?

-Out of 11, yeah.

And, Naomi,

you came...

third!

-Third! Oh, fantastic.

-There's your trophy.

Thank you very much. No more Ed Petrie jokes. Yes!

I am the queen of the castle. Yeah!

You've been watching All Over The Place!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd