Episode 3 All Over the Place

Fancy travelling around the USA with your CBBC mates?

Cel walks like an Egyptian.

Johny goes on a grand adventure.

That is the most spectacular thing I have ever seen.

Michelle gets pre-hysterical,

and Naomi has a mashing time.

CAR HORN HONKS

# All over the place!

# All over the place!

# North, south, east, west

# All of us on a quest

# Me and my mates all over the place

# It's true what you've heard

# Everything is absurd

# Whatever we do is strange but true!

# All over the place!

# All over the place!

# Bet you didn't know there's stuff all over the States

# But it turns up all over the place! #

Let's kick off in Arizona, the US state which has one of the biggest

holes in the world. It's so big you could fit 47 trillion camels in it!

Check out that view. For once, even Ed and Johny are speechless!

This is not any old canyon, it's the granddaddy of them all.

This is the Grand Canyon.

# Oh, heaven

# Oh, heaven

# I wait with good intentions... #

It's 446 kilometres long,

which is the length of 4,460 football pitches!

I don't fancy dribbling the ball that far.

-BOOMING VOICE:

-Wake up, Ed and Johny!

You have 32 seconds to find out as much as you can

about the Grand Canyon!

Ed, you've got Addie, who's a park ranger.

Johny, you've got Max, a canyon tourist guide.

Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner

and gets the trip of a lifetime! Three, two, one, go!

-Max, how many mules have you got?

-134.

How old is the Grand Canyon?

-Grand Canyon, oldest rock is 1.8 billion years.

-That's quite old!

What's the difference between a mule and a horse?

Dad's a donkey, Mum's a horse is how you get a mule.

-How long is it?

-277 miles.

Why is the Grand Canyon red?

Because that's the type of stone that's in it, coconino sandstone.

-Can you see it from space?

-You indeed can see it from space.

-How long does it take you to grow your moustache?

-About three days.

-How many people visit a year?

-Five million visitors.

What's the best thing about working at the canyon?

Working here? Free food.

KLAXON

Ah! Oh, thank you, Max. I think we did pretty well there. Put it there.

Whoo!

And the person who found out the most facts is...

..Johny!

Yes! Yes.

# Trip of a lifetime coming this way! #

I've come all the way from the other side of the world!

It's the Grand Canyon! I wanted the trip of a lifetime!

Aw. Listen.

-I'll see what I can do.

-Really?

I wouldn't have done that.

-Yes!

-Yay! To the chopper!

-Do you feel sick?

-Yeah.

-Don't worry, I've got these.

-Oh, great, OK.

Here we go, Johny! We're in the air.

Hang on, boys! This really is going to be an amazing ride!

That's really weird. It feels like we're just floating.

We are floating, Johny, we're in a helicopter.

ED AND JOHNY: Whoa!

THEY LAUGH

-You know, it's nearly two kilometres deep, the Grand Canyon.

-Two ki...

Oh, don't tell me that now, just as we're about to go off the edge!

-Johny, we're about to go off the edge!

-Oh, wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow!

BOTH: Whoa!

I don't think my voice has ever reached that high before.

That's the highest it's been since you were 11 years old!

Yes, definitely.

That's the Colorado River down there.

The Colorado River has helped to create this massive gorge

over just a few years. Well, five million years to be exact!

There are two emotions I'm feeling now.

One is exhilaration and the other is absolute terror.

I know this is a stupid thing to say,

because we're at the Grand Canyon, but it's so big!

-Bigger than I thought it would be.

-It's grander.

They should call it the Really, Really, Really, Grand Canyon.

That is the most spectacular thing I have ever seen.

The rocks in the canyon are older than the oldest known dinosaurs!

-Here comes the helipad.

-We made it!

-Never got to use this.

-Just a minute.

RETCHING

That was incredible. I love the Grand Canyon! I love it here.

I want to work here. I want to be a park ranger. Nothing can stop me.

Me too, me too. I love the hats, I love the badges.

We could definitely rock those uniforms.

I wonder what you'd have to do to be one?

Well, who better to ask than Addie, our park ranger?

How do we become park rangers?

Well, to be a park ranger, you do have to go to college.

Four-year degree, lots of research about the rocks, plants, animals...

I'm going to stop you there, Addie. That sounds great, but have you got

-anything that's less like hard work?

-Yeah, we are quite lazy.

Our rangers here at the Grand Canyon would love it

if you would participate in part of our junior ranger programme,

which is Grand Canyon bingo.

I think the junior ranger programme

is going to be too difficult for these two!

They've got to find different items on this bingo card.

Pinecone.

Bingo!

Tracks!

Bingo!

Yep, there you are.

Bingo!

Yes, pine tree.

Bingo!

I've only gone and found a fossil. That's 270 million years old, that.

Bingo!

"Draw your own."

Yep. I think that's...perfect, actually.

Ed Petrie. Bingo!

Are you any relation of, er... Oh, never mind.

Bingo! So how did we do, Addie?

Well, Ed, you did win the bingo.

-Hooray!

-Oh, man!

-Oh, I knew I'd be the best ranger.

-Yeah, whatever.

But, for taking part, we have special badges for each of you.

Best at not seeing the California Condor.

For Johny, best at avoiding wildlife. For Ed again,

best at avoiding the poisonous reptiles.

-Yeah, not a scratch on me.

-And, for Johny, the best bingo yell.

-I think you've earned it.

-Bingoooo!

Well, Cel, today we're going back in time.

You see, the future me has invented a time machine

and we're going to go back to Ancient Egypt.

In fact, the future me might pop along in a moment, say hello.

-Yeah, you do talk some nonsense.

-Oh, really?

We're stepping into the time machine now actually. Oh, here we go.

Oh, no. Oh, we're travelling, Cel! Boom!

Ooh. Look where we are.

Although Ed's fashion sense is very, very dated,

he can't actually time travel just yet, and this isn't Ancient Egypt.

It's Wadsworth, Illinois.

But this pyramid is a family home.

It was built in 1977 by Jim and Linda Onan.

It's six storeys tall and used to be covered in 24-carat gold.

It even has a three-pyramid garage and, obviously,

a 19-metre-high statue of a pharaoh in its grounds. Pharaoh enough!

Rocco, I think this is the strangest house I've ever seen.

-Do you actually live here in this pyramid?

-I used to.

-Oh, right.

-Who lives here now, then?

-My parents.

-What was it like growing up in a pyramid?

-Normal.

I spent my whole life around pyramids.

-It's your house that's weird.

-That's true.

-Well...yes.

-You haven't seen my house.

-You don't have pyramids?

-No, I don't live in a pyramid, no.

-See, that's weird.

It hasn't caught on over that side of the pond yet.

See, the thing is, it's great standing out here and everything,

but I was kind of hoping we might be able to have a little peek inside?

-You want to go inside?

-Yeah.

-All right.

-Yes!

Yay. He had to think about it.

If you're going to build a house

shaped like a pyramid, why not model it on the biggest and best,

the great Pyramid of Cheops in Egypt?

That's what they did with this one, though it is a bit smaller.

I was just thinking, how cool would it be to live in this pyramid?

Yeah, it does look pretty cool.

Shall we walk like Egyptians and have a gander?

-Yeah, can I bring me staff?

-You can bring your staff.

# Walk like an Egyptian... #

Ed?

-Ed!

-Raaarrrgghh!

-Ahhhhh!

I'll get you back for that.

# Walk like an Egyptian... #

You know what, Ed?

I feel like Howard Carter going into the tomb for the first time.

I feel like Angelina Jolie.

Reminds me of a joke. How do you ring an Ancient Egyptian doorbell?

Just toot and come in. Get it? Toot and come in! No?

I've been to one of these in Egypt

and the walls are actually this colourful.

The one I went to didn't have a mummy, though.

Little bit too spooky for me. Think I'll leave that one. Cel?

Wuuuuurrrrrrgggghhhhhh!

Uuuuuuurrrggggghhh...

You finished?

Yeah, I'll tell YOUR mummy if you do that again.

CEL MIMICS ED

I know Ancient Egyptians didn't live in pyramids

-but I think it would have been pretty cool.

-Yeah, imagine that.

Heading home after a hard day ruling the country,

parking up your chariot and sitting down to watch Pharoahnation Street.

No, that's a bit silly, Cel.

Everybody knows they'd be watching NileEnders.

I wonder what Ancient Egyptians actually did

to keep themselves amused.

I am pooped.

I feel like we've been building pyramids since 2584 BC.

-We have, my Pharaoh.

-Oh. Well, that makes sense.

Right, I've finished work now

and I don't want to hear another word about pyramids.

-TV:

-And now on BBC Pyramid we take a look at the pyramids

-in this week's edition of Pyramids.

-ED GROANS

Right, slave. What do the other pharaohs do to relax?

Some of them like to play the board game Dogs and Jackals.

Dogs and Jackals? No, I'm more of a cat man. What else?

-Some like to eat fruit all day.

-Fruit gives me a funny tummy.

Come on, what else can I do to relax?!

Some like to dress up their slaves.

Dress them up? Like what?

-Pharaohs.

-They dress their slaves up like pharaohs?

-Doesn't sound very relaxing. Are you sure?

-Definitely.

-Oh, OK.

Put that crown on.

Great.

They also give their slave a bag of gold and the keys to their chariot.

Really? Well, if that's what it takes to relax then so be it.

Well, you enjoy relaxing, Pharaoh.

RAPID FOOTSTEPS DOOR SLAMS

RAPID FOOTSTEPS

I still don't feel very relaxed.

RAPID FOOTSTEPS DOOR SLAMS

-HORSE NEIGHS

-Oi!

I'll mummify you when I get my hands on you!

Worst slave ever. Unbelievable! I guess I'll just listen to the radio.

-That'll calm me down a bit.

-RADIO:

-This is Pyramid FM.

I'm DJ Pyramid and this track is Pyramid by The Pyramids.

# Pyramid, Pyramid... # HE ROARS

-# It's a pyramid

-Pyramid, Pyramid... #

TOILET FLUSHES

-OK, Ed. Prepare to be amazed.

-Amazed by what?

-By this.

The Empire State Building in the heart of New York City.

-I'll just visit the little boys room first.

-No time, mate.

You can go up the top. There are 73 elevators in this building.

Although it's probably not a good time to mention

-there are 103 floors.

-What?!

-Would you have rather taken 1,872 steps?

I am one step away from having an accident!

It took one year and 45 days to build

and cost over 41 million in total. That's just under £26.5 million.

I will pay double that amount if you find me a loo!

Now, that is a view, Ed.

You are currently standing 381 metres off the ground.

That's the same height as 200 Tinie Tempahs.

You might see my not-so-tiny temper in a minute!

-Calm down, Ed.

-Argh!

Oh, man, that left me high and dry then.

I wonder what it would be like to live in the clouds.

If I lived in the clouds it would be like lying on candy floss -

soft, cuddly like a giant teddy bear.

I would jump about because it would be squidgy and bouncy.

It would be easy to do assault courses because you can turn clouds

into shapes and loops and balancing things

and it would be really fun.

Where are we? We've been walking for hours.

We are somewhere in Wisconsin and we've only been walking five minutes.

Really? It feels more like... Argh!

-Less talking and more walking is required, Petrie!

-My toe!

What's this doing lying around in the woods?

It's probably come from over there.

-Don't worry. They are made of metal.

-Oh, yeah.

I wasn't really scared.

Takes more than that to scare Ed Petrie.

-DINOSAUR ROARS Argh!

-Argh!

Works every time.

This is like a film set. Clyde, what is this place?

-This is Jurustic Park.

-So, what's that?

Well, you know Jurassic Park,

people that came from the Jurassic era.

These came out of the Iron Age. This is Jurustic Park.

Jurustic Park is about the same size as a football pitch

and it attracts 15,000 visitors each year.

Clyde created the structures from old farming machinery

and if you touch some of them, they actually move. Go on, I dare you!

Let this be a lesson to you, viewers.

This is what too many fizzy drinks do to you.

I was getting a bit thirsty myself. I might take this.

-I think it's been there for six months.

-Maybe not!

Be careful, guys, I wouldn't fancy being around

if these things were actually alive like a film or something.

'Ed Petrie and Michelle Ackerley star in the biggest, scariest

-'dinosaur movie of all time.'

-Jurustic Park!

I'm not going in there. There's dinosaurs.

Yeah, but they sell ice cream.

Last one in is a loser!

-Argh!

-Argh!

Meet the biggest egos ever known.

You want us to do more screening?

No, darling. I'm on the phone to my agent.

We're classically trained actors.

Fine, you're the director.

Argh!

It's an adventure...

It's been 65 million years in the making.

Actually, it took 19 years to build this but still quite a long time.

Argh!

-Listen....

-< Prrffft!

-They're trumping.

-Pfffrrt!

Some scientists believe dinosaurs trumped

so much they actually caused climate change.

No wonder they became ex-stinked!

Ex-STINKED. They stink.

Pfffttt!

Argh!

We're done for, Laura. I just want to tell you that I...

-I...

-Yes?

I heard the heaviest dinosaur was the Brachiosaurus,

as heavy as 17 elephants.

-That's not very romantic.

-No, but it is informative.

Jurustic Park. Probably not coming to a cinema near you.

BELCH!

Urgh, that's disgusting!

It may have stinky Ed breath but does it have his brains?

Hello, and welcome to my brand-new Jurassic quiz show.

Are you smarter than a 230 million-year-old?

The aim of the game is to prove you're smarter than a dinosaur.

I'm giving you some scenarios and if the way you would deal

with them is better than a dinosaur's, you win points.

It's the best-of-three.

Let's take the first bite out of the question.

What would you do if you had an upset stomach? A dicky tummy.

I would probably have a lie down and maybe eat a tub of ice cream

-to soothe it.

-That answer is ridiculous.

Prosauropods and sauropods would swallow stones

to grind up the food inside their stomachs,

which we can all agree is much more practical.

No points for you.

How would you react from an attack by a predator?

Well, I would probably want to sit down over a cup of tea

and try and talk it through and resolve things.

If you'd said you'd evolve 15 horns like a Kosmoceratops

you'd have won a point but you didn't, so you don't!

Unfortunately for you, the game is over and you can't claw it back.

-What?

-Talking of claws, if I were you, I would run away.

-Why?

You've become first prize for that dinosaur.

Argh!

Join me next week, if I'm still alive,

for more brain-straining battles.

I don't know why I'm running away.

Cavemen and dinosaurs didn't even live on the earth at the same time!

Last year, 89,470 couples in love decided to get

married in one of these 35 wedding chapels.

Ed has asked me to be his best man and organise his wedding.

I've never seen him so happy.

-I'm so happy.

-See?

I'm so happy I want to get married right here, right now.

Wasn't that a stroke of luck?

# It's a beautiful day The sun is high

# In the blue blue blue Las Vegas sky

# And I have decided I want to get wed

# Well, you're in luck, mate

# Don't know if you've heard

# We're in the marriage capital of the world

# You could easily be Mr and Mrs E-e-e-e-d

# Getting married in Vegas isn't very hard

# See this little chapel on the boulevard

# Thousands come every year to say, I do

# You could be all done and dusted in a minute or two

# Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh

# I'll have the wedding of my dreams

# Did you know-oh-oh-oh-oh

# The weddings here are themes

# You can dress as Elvis Use his massive car

# I could go Hawaiian in this coconut bra

# How about a vampire? Or try intergalactic

# There's Egyptian costumes and gangster suits

# I never knew getting married could be such a hoot

# Ooh, I like this Grim Reaper

# That's a little drastic

# With a choice of chapels What could be finer?

# Getting hitched in a gazebo or a '50s diner

# My darling bride-to-be is sure to go wow

# When Dracula reads out the wedding vows

# Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Can't wait to tie the knot

# Mind you, ooh, ooh, ooh

# Is this the biggest size you've got?

# I'll need something old Something new

# Something borrowed Something blue

# Well, your jokes are old and your haircut's new

# And you can borrow my socks and will this do?

# Whoo-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Come on let's do this thing

# Have you-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh remembered the ring?

# Whoa-oh-oh-oh-oh

# It's gonna be the best day of my life

# Although-oh-oh-oh-oh

# Just need to find somebody to be my wife! #

So, why are we dressed as potatoes eating potato-based snacks?

I feel like the vegetable equivalent of a cannibal.

-Because we are in Barnesville, Minnesota.

-Oh, that explains it then.

I'm being sarcastic, obviously.

(MUFFLED) ..at the potato festival.

-You shouldn't talk with your mouth full.

-Oh, yeah, sorry.

Barnesville is famous for its Potato Festival. The town has been

going potato mad for two days every year for 74 years.

The potato fest started as a potato picking contest for men, which

was far too MASH-O!

They knew they would be ROASTED

if women couldn't CHIP in, so new events were added

and today the potato fest has 50 different potato-based

competitions including potato wrestling.

-I can't wait to see Ed and Naomi mash it up.

-I just love a parade.

Yes, I feel like a spud celebrity.

Hello. Morning. Something to strike fear into the heart of every potato.

See what it tastes like, Naomi.

-Not very nice.

-Needs ketchup?

Just in case the chip pan catches fire.

Hope it doesn't. The only other adult dressed as a potato.

Yes, potato sack, potato anything. Anything goes here.

What's it all about, the Barnesville Potato Festival?

Barnesville is the potato capital of the world,

as far as I'm concerned.

And the event that we celebrate,

the last weekend in August, is all about potatoes.

You can eat them, smash them, throw them, cook them, you name it.

Wrestle in them.

Potato wrestling was introduced to the festival in 1999

and each year a maximum of 12 pairs can take part.

To create the perfect wrestling match,

first add 500 kilogram of potato powder, which is the same

weight as five baby elephants. Next, stir in 280 gallons of water

and finally mix with feet or body,

preferably using the technique known as the spud waltz and voila!

Meet Masher, our local wrestling expert and coach.

-You are coming underneath here.

-Did you put deodorant on?

-Nope!

Fall backwards.

-You fall backwards.

-I fall over.

Then what do I do? I just sit on her?

As he pushes back, you are going here and throw your body that way.

This isn't the sort of thing you do in social situations, is it?

-Those guns are squashing me. That way.

-Right there.

Yay! That was easy.

How do we win?

You would have to pin Ed for three seconds, hold him for three seconds.

I can put you down, easily. Your hair looks ridiculous.

You're not as good at presenting television as you think you are!

Welcome to the main event, this is Extreme WWMP.

Wacky Wrestling In Mashed Potato. Ed Petrie is the Gladi-tator!

Naomi Wilkinson is Pomme De Terre.

I don't want to get in there!

-It stinks.

-It really smells.

What you can't tell at home,

it stinks of school dinners round here.

It's quite funny until you realise you're going in.

-It's not funny at all now, is it?

-I was standing there going,

"This is funny. Hang on, that'll be me in five minutes."

Forget five minutes, Ed. You're up now. Yes, potato fans.

-It's time for the WWMP Mash Down.

-I am the Gladi-tator!

-Come on, take him down!

-Seconds out, round one.

Enormous support from Barnesville potato fans for the plucky

Brit with a French potato name, Pomme De Terre!

Oh, she is swooping in. It's a potato smash.

Can she hold the thin guy down? No!

No, Gladi-tator has pinned her and it's a potato pin down.

So much fun.

Ed completes the pin down

and the Gladi-tator takes the points.

Second round and this fight is awesome.

Pomme De Terre matching Gladi-tator oar to oar.

Oh, Pomme has pinned him! Who would have seen that coming?

She gets the points.

-What's the score?

-I think it's tied!

By some miracle of a match, we have a draw.

So, this is the decider.

It's the final round and Gladi-tator fighting back. Look at him go.

That's a smash!

-Ed wins.

-Ed's the man!

-The winner by half a point.

-The winner, the Gladi-tator!

Oh, great to see such old-style generosity in defeat

from Pomme De Terre!

-I know what I don't want to eat for tea.

-Yeah.

-Congratulations, Naomi.

You almost had him in a wedgie but Ed, I declare him the champion.

-I totally let you win. Well done. Where's he gone?

-Why did he run away?

Argh!

I still won!

You've been watching All Over The Place USA.

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd