Episode 6 All Over the Place


Episode 6

Ed Petrie and friends discover the most amazing places to visit in the USA. The team investigate a meteor crater in Arizona and go completely bananas in Los Angeles.


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Transcript


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Hold on tight, as we take

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a hair-raising ride around the US of A!

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Johny shows us his moonwalk.

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Iain goes bananas!

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I'm talking to a banana!

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Richard has a smashing time in New York.

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-GLASS SMASHES

-And Ed and Cel get their hands dirty.

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I'm going through cow poo!

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# All over the place!

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# All over the place!

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# North, south, east, west This is our quest!

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# Me and my mates all over the place!

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# It's true what you've heard Everything is absurd

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# Whatever we do Is strange, but true!

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# All over the place

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# All over the place

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# Bet you didn't know this stuff's all over the States

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-# But it turns up...

-All over the place! #

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First stop is Arizona, nicknamed the Grand Canyon State,

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after a rather famous hole in the ground.

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But the boys are off to see another large dent.

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Ed - you said you had something really special to show me today,

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-and I can't wait - what is it?

-It's...a hole in the ground!

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Oh, wh...

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-What?

-A hole in the ground. Don't worry, it is special - and big.

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How bit are we talking? What could you fit inside it?

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A baguette? A basketball?

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A blow-up...turtle?

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TURTLE SQUEAKS AND DEFLATES

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First, it's much bigger than that.

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And where are you getting all these props from?

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Don't worry about that. Anyway, just how big is it?

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Er, well, I think it's 1.2 kilometres across.

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-Wow, that's...that's bigger than...

-Your mouth?

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-Very funny.

-Johny, don't measure your mouth...

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No, do... Oh, that's just embarrassing.

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Anyway, welcome to Meteor Crater,

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scientifically known as Barringer Meteorite Crater,

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because a scientist called Daniel Barringer

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was the first to prove that this enormous hole

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was formed around 50,000 years ago

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by a meteor 45 metres across,

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which smashed into the earth from outer space.

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This means that the meteor was about

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the size of an Olympic swimming pool,

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and the crater it left behind is the length of 12 football pitches!

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Pretty massive!

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Ed and Johny - you have 33 seconds

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to find out as much as you can about Meteor Crater!

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Ed - you have Chris, who knows

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everything about this hole in the ground.

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Johny - you have Robyn, who knows all about how the crater was formed.

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Whoever finds out the most facts is the winner.

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Three, two, one...go!

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-Hello, Robyn.

-Hello.

-How old is the crater?

-50,000 years old.

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-Where is the meteor, did someone steal it?

-No.

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- It disintegrated on impact. - How big was the meteor?

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-It was 150ft across.

-What was it made out of?

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-Iron, nickel.

-Really?

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-Is there any meteor pieces left?

-Yes.

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How do you know someone didn't just dig the hole to fool you?

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Erm...scientists have proven by finding

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pieces of quartz in the bottom of the crater.

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Did people laugh at Barringer? Did they say, "You made it up?"

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-Yes.

-Yes, they did.

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-Where did the meteor come from?!

-Er, the asteroid belt.

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-How deep is the crater?

-It's 550ft deep.

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-What stops meteors falling...?

-KLAXON SOUNDS

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And the person who found out the most facts is...

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-Johny!

-Yes! Yes!

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-Oh!

-It's the crater king, and he defeats the meteor minion!

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40 years ago, NASA trained astronauts at the crater.

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Some of these astronauts would end up doing the moonwalk -

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actually walking on the moon, that is -

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but they're not the only ones interested in the crater.

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Famous physic professors are fascinated by it, too.

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And now on BBC...

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I'm Professor Brian Cox.

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And I'M Professor Brian Cox, too.

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We're here to check out this...amazing hole

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that's been left on the face of Planet Earth.

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When NASA astronauts, who would one day...

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walk on the moon...

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..trained here at this

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amazing crater...

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Amazing crater.

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..they had not idea that...one day...

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..I, too, would come here.

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What an honour.

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For them.

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If you look closely up at the night sky, you can see

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where they walked, on that white, discy thing

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we call...the moon.

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But don't look at that.

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Look at me.

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Amazing.

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Hey, Johny!

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I just saw Professor Brian Cox

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filming with his identical twin brother!

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-I didn't realise Brian Cox had a twin brother.

-Yeah.

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-They're identical in every way.

-Really?

-Yeah.

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Talking of identical, that crater - I think it DOES look like the moon.

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I can see why NASA trained their astronauts here,

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-when they sent them up in capsules like this.

-Just imagine it...

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MUFFLED: That's one small step for Johny P -

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one giant leap for mankind.

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Yeah - sounds a bit like Darth Vader.

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-Thanks.

-Think you have to practise a lot harder than that

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if you want to be a decent astronaut.

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MUSIC: "Also Sprach Zarathustra" by Richard Strauss

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-MUSIC SLOWS TO A STOP

-Stop! Stop, stop, stop!

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-AMERICAN ACCENT:

-You're supposed to be on the moon!

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You're 384,000 kilometres from the earth.

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You'd be experiencing weightlessness

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and treading carefully to avoid rocks and craters.

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This is supposed to be a realistic simulation, OK?

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HE MUMBLES WITHOUT OPENING MOUTH

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What?

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AMERICAN ACCENT: I AM being realistic!

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-You're wearing a bum bag!

-Well, yeah!

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I'd take my bum bag with me!

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You would not be wearing a bum bag on the moon!

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Yeah, I will. It's...it's got all my things in it.

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-What things?

-You know, like, a banana, in case I get hungry.

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A totally awesome moon travel guide -

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would be foolish to leave without one of those.

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-You don't need...

-My house keys - can't leave home without 'em!

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And of course, another banana, just in case I get hungry again.

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When Neil Armstrong was the first man on the moon,

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did you see him chomping on a banana? No!!

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Now, get back to the simulation

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and behave exactly as you would do on the moon!

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MUSIC STARTS Agh! Aagh!

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-Agh...!

-Now what?

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MUSIC STOPS

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Well, you lifted up my visor so I've run out of air -

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realistic enough for you?

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Now, walk like you're on the moon!

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MUSIC: "Bad" by Michael Jackson

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Not that kind of moonwalk! Agh!

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# Things that you see

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# When you stop for a... #

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TOILET FLUSHES

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'Run, Michelle! Run for your life. Swim or something!

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'Ed, chill out. It's not alive, it's a sculpture,

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'here at the National Freshwater Fishing Hall of Fame

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'in Wisconsin - and that's difficult to say!

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'It's the biggest fibreglass fish in the world!

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'No kidding! I thought we were fish bait there.

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'The sculpture is the size of a double-decker bus

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'and it's part of the pike family.

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'That's off the scale!

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'Sorry.'

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'Muskies eat other fish, ducklings and frogs.

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'The sculpture is so big that it could even swallow

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'an American school bus. Ah, it's a nice view up here.

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'The only thing I'm looking for is the toilet.

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'The big fish sits in a pond,

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'which contains over 333,000 litres of water -

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'which is the same as over 1 million cans of fizzy pop.

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'Agh! I can't talk about water any longer!

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'Seriously, Ed, stop carping on with the fish puns!

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'Ed? Ed?!

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'I suppose I'll let him off the hook.

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'I wonder what it would be like to be a fish...'

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If I were a fish and I went to an amusement park,

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there would be a massive sea urchin

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and you would go on the spikes, and you would come off

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and you would feel, like, all dizzy, like...

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It would be a castle which would be made of jellyfish,

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and if you bounced on the jellyfish, it would go boing, boing!

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I would wrestle different types of sea creatures

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by bouncing on their tummies till they barfed up.

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Ugh! Bugh! Bugh!

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FISH GIGGLES, CROWD CHEERS

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So, where are we going today, Iain?

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We're off to see a man what collects everything you need to know

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-about the world's most popular fruit.

-Oh!

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-Does he collect apples?

-Come on, Ed.

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It's the fourth most eaten food in the world!

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-Er, tomato collection?

-If I was to say to you, "Ed -

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"you're driving me..."

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-..to the grape collection?

-Bananas!

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-You're driving me bananas!

-Right, right. Banana collection, yes.

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I wonder what the ap-peel is.

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Very good! Ap-peel. I like it, yes.

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So, Fred, looking at all these bananas, the first thing

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that comes into my head is, how does this start?

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Well, it happened by a man named Ken Bannister,

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and he always had rolls of those stickers that you see on bananas.

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He was giving them to people, who started calling him the Banana Man,

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and then started giving him banana-related items,

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and he decided to open up a museum.

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-So, you bought it off someone else?

-Yes, I did.

-That's cheating.

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-Surely!

-Wow!

-Ha-ha!

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Have you added anything to the collection?

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Well, I have been captured by the draw of the banana,

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and I have added about 1,500 more items.

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Fred, have you ever as a joke just left a banana skin

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lying around, someone falls over and it's funny?

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-Actually, I might just test that on you guys!

-Don't do that,

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because we could really... Agh!

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# Going bananas, and I feel like my poor little mind... #

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A banana tree is not actually a tree - it's a giant herb.

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That said, I don't think I fancy

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putting bananas in my pasta, thank you very much!

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Bananas can float on water - pretty handy to know,

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if you're ever stranded on a desert island

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and need to build a raft.

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With all this talk about bananas, I think I'm going bananas!

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Hey, I wonder if a banana ever feels like this?

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AMERICAN ACCENT: So, what seems to be the problem,

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other than I'm talking to a banana?

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It's my wife. She left me.

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So, bananas split?

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Did you scream?

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Banana split? Of course I-scream...

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and cherries...and hundreds and thousands.

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And chocolate sauce if I've been a really good boy.

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So you're lonely. You not got any friends?

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I used to have a whole bunch - they dropped me in,

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-now I'm bruised.

-'Scuse me.

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-Is this going to be all banana jokes?

-Why?

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Nothin'. I just, er, want to peel back the layers.

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Think about all the good things about being you.

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British people eat 5 billion bananas a year!

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Hey, that's my relatives you're talking about!

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Or - you can peel a banana from bottom to top,

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get rid of all that nasty stringy stuff, gets stuck in my teeth.

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My wife goes crazy.

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That nasty stringy stuff gets nutrients all over my body!

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Snap out of it, man - you're full of it!

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Full of vitamin B6, I mean -

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produces serotonin, a natural chemical known to cause happiness.

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-You're full of happiness, man!

-Hey, you know what?

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You're right! I haven't felt this good in ages!

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I... Agh!

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My wife! With my best friend!

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I always knew he was a smoothie!

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MACHINE WHIRRS Nah, nah, nah.

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Now - he is a smoothie.

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Feel any better?

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Top banana!

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# We're here in Wisconsin

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# In a place they call the Dells

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# To check out the White House

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# Where the US President dwells

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# Hang on just a minute

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# What did you just say?

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# The White House is in Washington DC

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# Roughly a thousand miles that way!

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# This is a scale replica

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# Like nothing you've ever seen

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# They've turned the concept on its head

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# Ooh! I see what you mean!

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# They built this White House upside down

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# As a tourist a-ttrac-tion

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# If inversion is your thing

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# You're guaranteed sa-tis-fac-tion!

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# It looks mighty impressive

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# Like it's fallen from the sky

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# Whoever parked their care here

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# Is in for a surprise

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# Even when you're inside

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# It's topsy-turvy, too

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# The furniture's stuck way up there

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# Hope they used a decent glue!

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# The floor becomes the ceiling

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# And the ceiling becomes the floor

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# Though despite being upside down

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# The walls remain the walls

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# They built this White House upside down

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# A presidential home from home

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# If the furniture falls off... #

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Don't worry, it's all made from lightweight foam.

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# This is the Oval Office

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# The President's workplace

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# That's George Washington up there

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# First leader of the USA!

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# He never lived at the White House

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# He lived at Mount Vernon instead

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# He wouldn't have liked it here that much

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# Gives you a Rush of blood to the head!

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# They built this White House upside down

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# The reason's not entirely clear

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# Just one thing we'd like to ask

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# What's this T-Rex doing here?

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# They built this White House upside down

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# A stranger place we've not found

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# But we're the other side of the world... #

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So, for you at home, it's the right way round!

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Yeah - doesn't quite work like that, Ed.

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New York City, New York!

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Ed, what time is this train going to arrive?

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Don't worry, Richard, they come along every 15 minutes.

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I'm going to show you the whole of New York, have patience.

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SNORING

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LOUD SNORING

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Neeaatcho!

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Seriously, Ed, it's been like three hours, I ain't seen no trains.

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No people. I think we've been led up the garden path, mate.

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Now he comes to mention it, this looks a bit like a garden path!

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Erm, Ed, I think we might have a problem, mate.

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You certainly do, boys.

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This is the High Line Public Park in Manhattan's West Side

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in New York city. The park was actually a freight train line

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from 1934 until 1980. It runs through 23 blocks of the city

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and it's 2,333 metres long.

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That's the same length as 101 train carriages!

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Ha ha! Oh, isn't it brilliant here? It's just wonderful.

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Yes, it's just a shame about this burst water pipe. Really spoils it.

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What are you going on about, Ed? This is a water feature!

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It's beautiful, I love it.

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The park opened in June 2009

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and attracts over two million people per year!

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# Park life...

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# Park life... #

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-Er, no diving! This is the shallow end.

-Oh, sorry, sir!

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# I just came to say hello! #

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This wasn't the only idea about what to do with this

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-old railway line, you know.

-Yeah?

-Yeah.

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Some people wanted a giant roller coaster running down it,

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some wanted a giant swimming pool.

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One person suggested having a giant cow on railway tracks,

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running up and down, cos this was the meat-packing district.

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In the end, New York decided on a new park.

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-I think they made the right choice. It's nice.

-It is nice.

-It's nice.

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# Imma let you try to convince me to. Hello... #

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I tell you what, Ed, we're definitely living the high life!

0:17:010:17:04

-This is brilliant! It's like being on holiday.

-I know!

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Who'd have thought the street was so far below us?

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CAR HORN TOOTS

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..Apart from the sound of all the traffic.

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-DRILLING

-..And the building work.

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-AEROPLANE ROARS.

-..And the planes.

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Don't drop off yet, Richard! You're this week's contestant

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on The One Dollar Drop Gameshow! (Not live).

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Hello and welcome to The One Dollar Drop (not live),

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where if you get the questions wrong, the prizes of your dreams

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drop away in front of your very eyes.

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Today I'm joined by Richard from London. Hello, Richard.

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-All right, mate?

-Richard, remember, we're not live,

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so don't say anything rude or naughty, like poo or bum.

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Question one, Richard. You're playing for this gentleman's watch.

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Look at that, Richard, do you like that?

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-Yeah. Can I feel it?

-No.

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Question one.

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How many park and recreation areas are there in New York City?

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Is it A, 17?

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Is it B, 170, Richard?

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Or are there C, 1,700, Richard?

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-I'm going to go with B, 170.

-Oh, Richard, no!

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That's wrong, I'm afraid. No, the correct answer is 1,700.

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-That's a lot, isn't it?

-Yes.

-That's a lot!

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-Are you ready for the drop now?

-Yeah, I'm ready for the drop.

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METALLIC CLATTER

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Question two, Richard.

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And you're playing for this, I "heart" New York t-shirt.

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-Look at that. Do you "heart" New York, Richard?

-I do.

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-Do you "heart" it?

-I "heart" New York, yeah!

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You'd better get this right, or I'll have to drop this.

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-OK.

-How much did it cost to restore the High Line?

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Was it A, 50 million dollars?

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Was it B, 155 million dollars?

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Or was it C, 555 million dollars, Richard?

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I'm going to go with 550 million dollars.

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You're wrong, Richard! He's wrong! It was 155, it was B!

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I'm going to have to drop the t-shirt. All right.

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SHATTERING

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Question three, Richard! Question three.

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And you're playing for this priceless snowglobe.

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How high does the High Line stand off the ground?

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-Is it 1.9 centimetres? Not very high, is it?

-No, it's not.

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-It is B, 1.9 metres? That's a bit higher.

-Yeah, yeah.

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Or is it C, a whopping 9.1 metres? What do you think, Richard?

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-I think I'm going to go with B.

-That's wrong, Richard! It's wrong!

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-Oh, Richard, you are awful at this game.

-I know, I know.

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Or, as the Americans say, "awful".

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GLASS SHATTERS

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But don't worry, Richard. We will pay for your bus fare home.

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Oh, that's all right.

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GARBLED SPEECH

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Oh, no, I've just been told we won't.

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SHATTERING

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Prairie du Sac, Wisconsin.

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Ed versus Cel. In the Main Event.

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-Ed, do you like chips?

-Love chips.

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Is that why we're in Wisconsin?

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-Something to do with chips?

-It might be.

-No, all right, OK.

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Are we investigating silicon chips?

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The invention that makes technology so tiny and small?

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-No.

-Wood chips? That people put in their gardens to keep weed...

-No.

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No, OK. You've thrown me a curveball here, haven't you?

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Oh, you're getting warmer! Sssst!

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Chocolate chip cookies!

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Well, I wouldn't say...

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Ha, you nearly had me, there. Come on, hand one over.

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-If you insist!

-I do insist. I love them.

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-Haah!

-Thank you very much.

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This isn't a chocolate chip cookie, is it? Is it?

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Oh, there's no fooling you, is there, Ed? This, dear viewer,

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is a "cow chip" or as we call it, a "cowpat", which, let's face it,

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is cow poo!

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Yes, welcome to the Wisconsin State Cow Chip Throw.

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It's been running since 1975.

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Cow chips were used by the early settlers

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in the Great Plains of the USA to cook and heat their homes.

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However, it seems strange that they didn't think to throw them

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until the 1970s! Anyone fancy chucking a poo?

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Marietta, why are you people throwing cow poo round?

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If I did that sort of thing at home, I'd get in really big trouble!

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Well, it's a tradition here in South Prairie.

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38 years now we've been throwing this dung!

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Wow! So how do you make these? Do these come out of real cows?

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They really come out of real cows.

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-See the grass and everything growing in it?

-Yeah, sure can!

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-I think you need to hold it.

-Yeah, go on, Ed. Give it a smell!

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SNIFFS

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Not that bad. It doesn't really smell of anything.

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There is really no smell to it. It's kind of gone back to nature.

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So you have a special team of people going out, finding poo?

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Yes. About a month before our event, we go and pick up poo.

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So if we're going to go head to head, throwing poo around,

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where can we find ourselves some cow chips?

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We've got this Trojan Cow. He's the magic ticket.

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-I like the sound of him.

-Yeah. The Quest for the Trojan Cow!

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-The Quest for Poo!

-Thank you, Marietta!

-Bye!

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Around 800 people take part in the competition each year

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to see who can throw the poo the furthest.

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The winner is crowned Wisconsin Cow Chip Throw Champion!

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Oh, the glory! Now, where is that Trojan Cow?

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The quest for the Trojan Cow's not going very well.

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I thought it would be quite noticeable. Obviously, it isn't.

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I cannot see it anywhere. It must be tiny.

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You guys are "udderly" useless. It's behind you!

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Traditionally, the Trojan Cow parades the street,

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poo-ing chips out of its rear end! A bit like this...

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MOOING

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Look at this! It's the biggest pooper-scoops ever!

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-Give me my pooper-scoop!

-Let's do this parade!

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-Cel, catch! Catch!

-I am!

-Catch, Cel!

-Throw it!

-Wheeeey!

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-Nice one!

-Goal!

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THEY SNIGGER AND RETCH

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Imagine being the person whose job it is to throw poo

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-out of the back of a giant cow!

-I think that'd be a fun job!

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I think that should be our aim. We should try to work our way up there.

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The funny thing is,

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everyone's just watching as if it's completely normal.

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Just, "Oh, there's a bit of poo just flown over my head."

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"Oh, bit of poo."

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Giant cow just pooing everywhere.

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Ed! Watch it!

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Whoa!

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I warned you!

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I just got hit by a flying poo.

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Go, Ed, go, Ed, go, Ed, go!

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You two stop mucking about and get some tips from an expert.

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This is Russ. Not only did he design that incredible Trojan cow...

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..and not only is he a chip official...

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..but he knows how to throw cow dung.

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Most of them go this way. Just like this.

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A bit like throwing a boomerang. I just hope that doesn't come back.

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OK, boys, if you're going to do well in this poo-nament,

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you'd better get some practice in. Cel, you're up first.

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Oh, it's a big long smelly one! It's high, isn't it?

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That's proper poo-lution. I hope it doesn't come down on someone.

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Ed, you're next to scoop your poop. Get chucking.

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He's going for an over-arm, and oh, it's a long one.

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It's not bad, and an underarm Frisbee shot.

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Ed, you are the prince of poop!

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Limber up, boys, it's time for the main event. Here are the rules.

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Poops must be at least 15cm in diameter.

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Each contestant gets two throws. No gloves are allowed,

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but I would recommend washing your hands afterwards.

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And remember, an out-of-bounds throw doesn't count.

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That gets messy for the audience.

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The big problem is everyone's sitting on the line.

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So if you're out of bounds...

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Ah!

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Don't do that to me!

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I tell you something, Ed, a lot more people have turned up than expected.

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-I know.

-My nerves have just intensified.

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A lot of potential victims to be hit in the head with cow poo.

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-Ed, Ed, Ed, Ed!

-You've already done that. Oh, it's actually...!

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Look where that landed!

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I don't want to be the last thing that ever happens to me

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on this earth being hit by a poo.

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Yeah, I don't think many people do. Whoa!

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Please don't let me be killed by poo!

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It's not much to ask, is it? I just don't want to be killed by poo!

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Who does, Ed? Killed by a poo? And speaking of poo, happy picking!

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-What am I doing? What am I actually doing?

-I'm going through cow poo.

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I'm rifling through cow poos

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like I'm out doing my Saturday morning shopping.

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So there should be plenty for you to choose from, Ed, but make sure

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you pick one of the high-fibre ones, as they're thicker and stronger.

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All the way from Manchester, England,

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please welcome Cel Spellman!

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Come on, Cel, you've been training for this.

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Chip this chip into the next county. Be one with the poo.

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He's warming up, he's lining up, and it's in the air and... Oh, no!

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-That's out of bounds. That won't count.

-Yes! Here we go.

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Second time lucky.

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Yeah, lucky not to hit anyone this time, at least.

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Oh, it's within the boundary. Not far, though.

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Yes!

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Absolutely woeful.

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Is that person all right? They're not going to hospital, are they?

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That would be really embarrassing

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if they have to fill out the forms in hospital - what's wrong with you?

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-Oh, I got smashed in the head with a cow pat.

-87.7.

-Is that good?

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-Yeah, that's all right.

-Yes!

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-87.7.

-Metres?

-Feet.

-Oh, right. Rubbish.

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We'll see how you do. Although, I think my first throw was better.

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-For comedy value.

-Of course.

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Cel throws 87.7 feet, which is the same length as 15.5 Tulisas.

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Ed, you're up next.

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-Here we go.

-Go on, Ed Petrie!

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It's a very careful run from Ed, a confident throw,

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and he's split his poo in three. Good effort, though.

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We measure the biggest piece.

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That one broke up on entry.

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Hopefully, this one won't do the same thing.

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Second go for Petrie on the poo. Here we go, it's a long one.

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And, oh, it's a good one. I can't believe it either, Ed.

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Ed, I think you went for the shotgun approach there.

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-You threw about three in one.

-Yeah, well, I was hedging my bets.

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So the dung has been flung.

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We're going to have to wait a teensy bit longer to find out the winner.

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Here's Russ with the results.

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So, Ed and Cel, now that you've thrown your chips,

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-I have your results for you. Cel, yours was 87.7 feet.

-Pretty good.

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Ed, yours was 87.8 feet.

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-Whoa! 0.1!

-0.1! That's ridiculous.

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-So here are your trophies.

-Oh, thank you.

-And here, Cel, here's yours.

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-Lovely!

-You get the chip.

-The pooby prize.

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-I feel like a cow-chip champion.

-I feel like a shower.

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You've been watching All Over The Place USA.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Ed Petrie and friends go on an incredible journey to find the most unusual, strange and amazing places to visit in the USA. The team investigate a meteor crater in Arizona, play big fish, bigger fish in Wisconsin and go completely bananas in Los Angeles. They also discover the president's house is upside down, visit a park ten metres above the streets of New York and Ed and Cel compete to throw cow poo the furthest in Wisconsin.


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