Matchmaker, Match Breaker Arthur


Matchmaker, Match Breaker

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# Every day when you're walking down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open up your eyes, open up your ears

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# Get together, make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

-HEY! #

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Hey, DW!

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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THUD!

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-Hey, what you writing?

-Huh?

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Oh, nothing much. Just some thoughts.

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What kind of thoughts? Can I see?

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Um, actually, it's private.

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Oh, I see! It's about ME, isn't it?

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-I didn't say that.

-Hey, guys.

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What's going on?

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Arthur's writing about me. That's what's going on.

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-It's probably something mean.

-It's not mean.

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So it's something nice?

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It's not about you.

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Is it about me? Is it about my hair?

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You noticed I'm using a new conditioner, right?

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It's called Mountain Mist.

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-Come on. Just let us see it.

-No!

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THEY LAUGH

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Phew!

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Don't you hate it when people try to stick their nose into your business?

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Some things are just private.

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-What you writing? Can I see?

-HE GROANS

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MAN: Matchmaker, Match Breaker.

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Ahh!

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-Chip! You're home!

-Hey, it's the Muffler.

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SHE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT

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-So, how's Tallahassee Tech?

-Pretty cool, but they keep me busy.

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Swim practice, freshmen mixers, fraternities to check out.

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Oh, yeah, and classes, too.

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My Chip must be exhausted.

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But you'll have time to rest after your welcome-home dinner tonight.

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Welcome-home dinner?

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Oh, don't worry. I promise it'll be very relaxed and not fancy.

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PIANO PLAYS

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A-hem. So, Oliver, how's the sanitation business?

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You know what they say about MY line of work -

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if you're willing to get your hands dirty,

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you can really clean up!

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HE LAUGHS

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I don't get it.

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Well, as a sanitation worker, I DO have to get my hands dirty...

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Oh, no. My father's telling jokes. He promised he wouldn't.

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I told Bailey to use the pink napkins.

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This welcome-home dinner is a disaster.

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CHIP CHATS

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At least THEY seem to be having a good time.

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No way! I have the Portalex 380, too!

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They seem to really like each other.

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Hey, you know,

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if Chip and Catherine ever got married...

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we'd be sisters!

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# They used to be friends

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# Now they're related

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# Always together, never separated

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# Who are those beautiful two?

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# They Frenskwire sisters, that's who. #

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APPLAUSE How's it going?

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Terrible. I just bought this horse, but I have no idea how to ride it.

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HORSE WHINNIES

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No sweat. I'll teach you.

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But, Muffy, where's it gonna live?

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Our apartment's too small.

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Silly! I just bought the one next door and turned it into a stable.

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We're rich, remember?

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LAUGHTER

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Oh, yeah!

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I love being sisters!

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Me, too!

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HORSE WHINNIES

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LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

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That would be so cool!

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I know. Let's get to work!

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Hey, how 'bout those Grebes, huh?

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So, I'm kinda leaning towards Gamma Gamma Moo.

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-But the Gotta Lotta Moolahs are pretty cool, too.

-Hi.

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How's it going?

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Fun night, huh?

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I know I'M having fun.

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Me ,too.

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What about you two?

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Having fun?

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Um, yeah.

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Sure.

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-Good.

-Great!

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We were just checking.

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Then there's Deta Eta Theta

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but I'm kinda leaning towards the other way.

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Hey, Muffy, any interest in seeing Leaf Blower 4?

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I hear it's really scary.

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You know how I love scary movies!

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But wait. It's playing all the way out at Mill Creek Mall.

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We'll have to find someone to take us.

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If it's OK with the 'rents, I'll take you, Muffler.

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-You wanna come?

-Sure.

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I loved Leaf Blower 3.

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Remember when the principal gets his tie caught in the mulcher?

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Dude, that was so gross!

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Phase one of operation Frenskwire is complete.

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This movie is awful. Couldn't you have picked another one?

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It's the only one I knew Catherine wanted to see.

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Hey, how come Chip didn't get Catherine a juice?

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She didn't ask for one.

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I know. But it would have been nice.

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I'll tell you what would be nice.

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If Catherine shared the armrest.

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Look! She's hogging the whole thing.

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That's not hogging. That's just being romantic.

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MONSTER GROWLS, THEY SCREAM

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Hey, you wanna meet some of my friends

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-for a latteccino at the Stardos after we drop the kids off?

-OK.

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See?

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How'd it go? Did you guys have a good time?

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-What'd you do?

-Nothing.

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Nothing? What do you mean nothing?

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How can you spend three hours doing nothing?

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We hung out at the mall, that's all.

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Why are you so interested?

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Me? I'm not interested.

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What you do with your friends is your business.

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I have to use the phone.

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He said that they had a good time and Catherine was pretty cool.

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Pretty cool? My sister's not pretty cool.

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She's VERY cool.

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-Well, OK, maybe not VERY cool, but...

-Wait!

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You haven't heard the best part.

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They're going out to lunch tomorrow!

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Really? Where?

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I don't know. All I know is that Catherine picked the place.

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So...got any plans tomorrow, sis?

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Ugh! This chicken's so greasy.

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And the lighting is very unflattering.

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Not everyone can afford fancy restaurants, moneybags.

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Not like Chip would pay for it, anyway.

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What do you mean by that?

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He's so cheap, he wouldn't even spring for a juice at the movies.

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My brother is not cheap!

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He is, too. And he invited another person on their date. Look!

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That's Angie, one of Catherine's friends.

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I recognise her from the Sugar Bowl.

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Hey, you're right. That makes it even worse.

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Slow down! I can't keep up.

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Keep up? You're not even pedalling.

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# They used to be friends, now they're related

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# Thought they would like it, turns out they hate it

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# Who are these two?

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# The Frenskwire sisters, that's who. #

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Muffy, it's your turn to clean up after Thunderbolt.

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But I just did my nails.

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Anyway, I fed him earlier.

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Yeah - the cake I made for Catherine's birthday!

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LAUGHTER

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Oh. Is that what that was?

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I thought it was garbage.

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It's so hard to tell the difference with your cooking.

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LAUGHTER

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HORSE WHINNIES

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I'm ending this relationship between your brother and my sister.

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Fine! You'd make a terrible sister, anyway.

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We'll just see who ends it first.

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I don't know if this is such a good idea, Miss Muffy.

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Bailey, it's for the good of the Crosswire family.

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All you have to do is ask her a few questions.

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RINGING TONE

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Hello?

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A-hem.

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Hello. I'm conducting a survey that could win you a trip to Hawaii.

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Is your first name Kate?

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No, it's Catherine.

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Do you prefer pickle-flavoured ice cream or chocolate chip?

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Chocolate chip.

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How would you describe your feelings towards liver?

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'I hate liver!'

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What letter comes after T in the alphabet?

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U.

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Thank you very much. We'll let you know if you've won.

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Perfect.

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Now, all I have to do is a little editing.

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Here. This was in the mail for you.

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What is it?

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A really weird letter from Chip.

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He says he's moving to Alaska and he never wants to see me again.

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Oh, well. Good riddance, right?

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'Chip... It's Catherine...

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'I hate... U...'

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DOORBELL RINGS

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I just got your letter. You're moving to Alaska?

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No. I just got your message.

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Why did you say you hate me?

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I didn't!

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-Francine!

-Muffy!

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OK, I admit it. I wrote that letter from Chip.

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And I made Bailey call Catherine with that fake survey.

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But why, Muffler?

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I didn't want you two to get married.

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At first you did. But then you thought a Frensky

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wasn't good enough to be in your family.

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I never said that! You were the one who called Chip cheap!

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I'm not cheap!

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How could you think we'd get married? We're not even dating.

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Yeah. Where'd you come up with that crazy idea?

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I guess we thought it would be cool if we were related.

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Sorry to disappoint you,

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but Chip and I are just friends.

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Well, I'd better finish that biology paper.

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Yeah. I'm gonna wash my hair.

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See ya.

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Well, there goes our chance of being sisters.

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Yep. I guess we'll just have to settle for best friends.

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# They're still just friends, no, they're not related

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# Never gonna be cos of the mess they created

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# Who are these meddling two?

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# Muffy and Francine, that's who! #

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# Every day when you're walking down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

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-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

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-# What a wonderful kind of day

-HEY! #

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