Matchmaker, Match Breaker Arthur

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm of the street Open up your eyes, open up your ears

# Get together, make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

-HEY! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey!

-Whoa!

THUD!

-Hey, what you writing?

-Huh?

Oh, nothing much. Just some thoughts.

What kind of thoughts? Can I see?

Um, actually, it's private.

Oh, I see! It's about ME, isn't it?

-I didn't say that.

-Hey, guys.

What's going on?

Arthur's writing about me. That's what's going on.

-It's probably something mean.

-It's not mean.

So it's something nice?

It's not about you.

Is it about me? Is it about my hair?

You noticed I'm using a new conditioner, right?

It's called Mountain Mist.

-Come on. Just let us see it.

-No!

THEY LAUGH

Phew!

Don't you hate it when people try to stick their nose into your business?

Some things are just private.

-What you writing? Can I see?

-HE GROANS

MAN: Matchmaker, Match Breaker.

Ahh!

-Chip! You're home!

-Hey, it's the Muffler.

SHE SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT

-So, how's Tallahassee Tech?

-Pretty cool, but they keep me busy.

Swim practice, freshmen mixers, fraternities to check out.

Oh, yeah, and classes, too.

My Chip must be exhausted.

But you'll have time to rest after your welcome-home dinner tonight.

Welcome-home dinner?

Oh, don't worry. I promise it'll be very relaxed and not fancy.

PIANO PLAYS

A-hem. So, Oliver, how's the sanitation business?

You know what they say about MY line of work -

if you're willing to get your hands dirty,

you can really clean up!

HE LAUGHS

I don't get it.

Well, as a sanitation worker, I DO have to get my hands dirty...

Oh, no. My father's telling jokes. He promised he wouldn't.

I told Bailey to use the pink napkins.

This welcome-home dinner is a disaster.

CHIP CHATS

At least THEY seem to be having a good time.

No way! I have the Portalex 380, too!

They seem to really like each other.

Hey, you know,

if Chip and Catherine ever got married...

we'd be sisters!

# They used to be friends

# Now they're related

# Always together, never separated

# Who are those beautiful two?

# They Frenskwire sisters, that's who. #

APPLAUSE How's it going?

Terrible. I just bought this horse, but I have no idea how to ride it.

HORSE WHINNIES

No sweat. I'll teach you.

But, Muffy, where's it gonna live?

Our apartment's too small.

Silly! I just bought the one next door and turned it into a stable.

We're rich, remember?

LAUGHTER

Oh, yeah!

I love being sisters!

Me, too!

HORSE WHINNIES

LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

That would be so cool!

I know. Let's get to work!

Hey, how 'bout those Grebes, huh?

So, I'm kinda leaning towards Gamma Gamma Moo.

-But the Gotta Lotta Moolahs are pretty cool, too.

-Hi.

How's it going?

Fun night, huh?

I know I'M having fun.

Me ,too.

What about you two?

Having fun?

Um, yeah.

Sure.

-Good.

-Great!

We were just checking.

Then there's Deta Eta Theta

but I'm kinda leaning towards the other way.

Hey, Muffy, any interest in seeing Leaf Blower 4?

I hear it's really scary.

You know how I love scary movies!

But wait. It's playing all the way out at Mill Creek Mall.

We'll have to find someone to take us.

If it's OK with the 'rents, I'll take you, Muffler.

-You wanna come?

-Sure.

I loved Leaf Blower 3.

Remember when the principal gets his tie caught in the mulcher?

Dude, that was so gross!

Phase one of operation Frenskwire is complete.

This movie is awful. Couldn't you have picked another one?

It's the only one I knew Catherine wanted to see.

Hey, how come Chip didn't get Catherine a juice?

She didn't ask for one.

I know. But it would have been nice.

I'll tell you what would be nice.

If Catherine shared the armrest.

Look! She's hogging the whole thing.

That's not hogging. That's just being romantic.

MONSTER GROWLS, THEY SCREAM

Hey, you wanna meet some of my friends

-for a latteccino at the Stardos after we drop the kids off?

-OK.

See?

How'd it go? Did you guys have a good time?

-What'd you do?

-Nothing.

Nothing? What do you mean nothing?

How can you spend three hours doing nothing?

We hung out at the mall, that's all.

Why are you so interested?

Me? I'm not interested.

What you do with your friends is your business.

I have to use the phone.

He said that they had a good time and Catherine was pretty cool.

Pretty cool? My sister's not pretty cool.

She's VERY cool.

-Well, OK, maybe not VERY cool, but...

-Wait!

You haven't heard the best part.

They're going out to lunch tomorrow!

Really? Where?

I don't know. All I know is that Catherine picked the place.

So...got any plans tomorrow, sis?

Ugh! This chicken's so greasy.

And the lighting is very unflattering.

Not everyone can afford fancy restaurants, moneybags.

Not like Chip would pay for it, anyway.

What do you mean by that?

He's so cheap, he wouldn't even spring for a juice at the movies.

My brother is not cheap!

He is, too. And he invited another person on their date. Look!

That's Angie, one of Catherine's friends.

I recognise her from the Sugar Bowl.

Hey, you're right. That makes it even worse.

Slow down! I can't keep up.

Keep up? You're not even pedalling.

# They used to be friends, now they're related

# Thought they would like it, turns out they hate it

# Who are these two?

# The Frenskwire sisters, that's who. #

Muffy, it's your turn to clean up after Thunderbolt.

But I just did my nails.

Anyway, I fed him earlier.

Yeah - the cake I made for Catherine's birthday!

LAUGHTER

Oh. Is that what that was?

I thought it was garbage.

It's so hard to tell the difference with your cooking.

LAUGHTER

HORSE WHINNIES

I'm ending this relationship between your brother and my sister.

Fine! You'd make a terrible sister, anyway.

We'll just see who ends it first.

I don't know if this is such a good idea, Miss Muffy.

Bailey, it's for the good of the Crosswire family.

All you have to do is ask her a few questions.

RINGING TONE

Hello?

A-hem.

Hello. I'm conducting a survey that could win you a trip to Hawaii.

Is your first name Kate?

No, it's Catherine.

Do you prefer pickle-flavoured ice cream or chocolate chip?

Chocolate chip.

How would you describe your feelings towards liver?

'I hate liver!'

What letter comes after T in the alphabet?

U.

Thank you very much. We'll let you know if you've won.

Perfect.

Now, all I have to do is a little editing.

Here. This was in the mail for you.

What is it?

A really weird letter from Chip.

He says he's moving to Alaska and he never wants to see me again.

Oh, well. Good riddance, right?

'Chip... It's Catherine...

'I hate... U...'

DOORBELL RINGS

I just got your letter. You're moving to Alaska?

No. I just got your message.

Why did you say you hate me?

I didn't!

-Francine!

-Muffy!

OK, I admit it. I wrote that letter from Chip.

And I made Bailey call Catherine with that fake survey.

But why, Muffler?

I didn't want you two to get married.

At first you did. But then you thought a Frensky

wasn't good enough to be in your family.

I never said that! You were the one who called Chip cheap!

I'm not cheap!

How could you think we'd get married? We're not even dating.

Yeah. Where'd you come up with that crazy idea?

I guess we thought it would be cool if we were related.

Sorry to disappoint you,

but Chip and I are just friends.

Well, I'd better finish that biology paper.

Yeah. I'm gonna wash my hair.

See ya.

Well, there goes our chance of being sisters.

Yep. I guess we'll just have to settle for best friends.

# They're still just friends, no, they're not related

# Never gonna be cos of the mess they created

# Who are these meddling two?

# Muffy and Francine, that's who! #

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-HEY! #