Is That Kosher? Arthur

# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view. #

SHE LAUGHS

# And I say, hey! # Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm, the rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Oh, believe in yourself For that's the place to start

# And I say, hey! Hey! What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other. # Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, hey! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey!

-Wow!

So hungry. So thirsty.

An oasis! I'm saved!

Come on, girl, head for those trees!

Ah! My bunions are killing me.

-If you were in a rush, you should've rented a dune buggy!

-Forget it!

-I'll walk.

-Suit yourself.

Look at all that juicy, ripe fruit!

-Drop that fruit!

-Why?

Cos I said so, that's why.

Well, that's not good enough. I'm starving! Who are you anyway?

You.

SHE GASPS

But why would I want to keep myself from eating?

Don't look at me! This is your meshuginah dream, not mine.

SHE HUMS TO HERSELF

I don't understand. Why do we have to clean?

This weekend is Yom Kippur, the biggest Jewish holiday.

-I want things to look perfect.

-Here, your highness. Dust!

-Of course I get the hard jobs!

-Are you kidding? You have it easy.

You don't have to fast like I do.

-I could fast better than you any day.

-Oh, yeah?

I'd like to see you try it.

Fine. I will.

-Oh, please. You don't even know what fasting means.

-So?

-I don't have to know. I'm still gonna win!

-Calm down, you two.

Fasting means going without food all day.

You're too young... DOOR CLOSES

BOTH: Bubby!

Oh, my two favourite grandchildren! Come give your bubby a hug!

Catherine, look at you! Such a beauty!

Even though blue is not your colour, darling.

And my little Frankella, you have gotten so skinny!

Are you feeding her?

Of course I'm feeding her, Ma!

Don't worry, Frankella. Bubba's here. I'll make you some real food.

Not on Yom Kippur! I'll be fasting with you guys.

-The child's fasting? Why?

-I want to! Catherine's doing it.

SHE SIGHS They grow up so quickly.

Quickly-schmickly. Listen, young lady, don't be in such a rush.

Before you know it you'll be old, eating mashed peas,

and looking forward to nothing but nap-time. You want that?

Give me that.

I see some spots you missed.

You're not going to eat anything for a whole day?

Yup! From sunset till sunset the next day.

-But you can drink water, right?

-No, nothing at all for 25 hours.

I don't think I've gone without food or water for 25 minutes!

My Turkish pen pal, Adele, also fasts.

He does it for a month during Ramadan.

-Here's his e-mail address.

-Thanks.

But I won't need his advice. I'm in training!

This is all I've eaten since seven this morning!

Hey! What are you doing?

I'm just helping you train!

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Reid residence?

Is this Arthur Reid?

-Arthur Reid who bought a calzone at Pizza Paula's last Tuesday.

-Yes.

BELL RINGS

Congratulations! You won first place in Pizza Paula's raffle!

I did? What did I win?

All the pizza you and your friends can eat,

-delivered to your door this Saturday.

-No way! Wait, what's the catch?

There isn't any! Just invite lots of kids

-so I can photograph them eating. Is your Mom there?

-Hold on. Mom!

'E-mail from Arthur Reid.'

Pizza party at Arthur's house this Saturday. Be there or be square.

Or round.

Pizza party! I'm there!

Wait! It's on Saturday.

No cookies, no pretzels, it's like living in a health food store.

What's wrong? You look terrible! Are you sick?

-I'll go get a thermometer.

-I'm fine.

Arthur's having a pizza party and I can't go cos it's on Yom Kippur.

Can't he have it another day? Get me his number. I'll call him.

I already did. The pizzeria said it was too late to pick a new date.

A pizza party, hmmm?

I knew there'd be a reason you couldn't fast on Saturday.

Well, you're wrong. As long as you're not eating, I'm not eating.

That was cool! I'm actually looking forward to going tomorrow!

Feeling a little...peckish?

Nope! And according to my stopwatch,

I only have 22 hours, 13 minutes and 45 seconds to go.

Your mom and I are pretty proud of you, kiddo.

SHE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

SHE YAWNS

Wow! I'm not even hungry! This is gonna be easy.

Oh, yeah! Fasting is a piece of cake(!)

Easy as pie!

Or should I say pizza pie?

I know what you're doing and it's not gonna work.

HE CHANTS

-HER TUMMY RUMBLES

-What was that?

Is there a dog in here?

-Sorry! It was my stomach.

-Oh.

Listen, I need a little rest. I'll see you at home.

Francine, why don't you keep her company?

Eight hours and 44 minutes to go.

'Glazed pecan buns cool. Mmmm.'

'Our extra crispy lickin' sticks with Mexicalli cheddarola dip!'

'Sloppy Joes? Mom, you're the best!'

OK. TV was a bad idea.

I know! I'll read!

Food Of The Gods, Breakfast At Tiffany's, Who Moved My Cheese...

Aargh! Little Dorrit, by Charles Dickens.

But glimpses were to be caught of roast beef

and blisterous Yorkshire pudding, bubbling hot...

of a stuffed fillet of veal,

baked potatoes glued together by their own richness?

SHE SIGHS

HE TUMMY RUMBLES

Dear Adele, Arthur's friend Francine, here.

Trying to fast till sundown on Yom Kippur. Any advice?

Hi, Francine.

During Ramadan I try to keep my mind off food by being with friends.

-Why not go visit Arthur?

-Hmmm.

They've probably finished the pizza by now.

That's a great idea!

I'll try it. Thanks.

Hey! Oh, um, hi, Francine.

You don't have to hide your pizza. I'm fine.

-I just wanted a little company.

-OK! Come on in.

OK, pizza lovers, gather round for some photos.

Molto bene! Now, just... Wait a minute!

-But...

-Now we're ready!

OK, kids, say mozzarella cheese!

ALL: Mozzarella cheese!

SHE MUNCHES

Eating on Yom Kippur? How could you?

You are no longer my little Frankella, no, no, no, no, no!

From now on, I'm just gonna call you F for failure.

-SHE LAUGHS

-I knew you couldn't do it!

SHE GASPS

Oh! What have I done?

Bubby, what are you doing?

What does it look like? Having a sandwich. It's very dry.

-Your mum's got something against mayo?

-You're breaking the rules!

No I'm not! The torah forbids us to fast if it hurts our health.

And sweetheart, look at Bubba's body. It's a lemon.

-I wish I had an excuse.

-Lemme guess. You ate some of Arthur's pizza?

-It's that obvious?

-Bubbas know these things.

Plus, there's a mushroom on your shirt.

-SHE SIGHS

-I'm a failure!

You're not a failure!

Do you know why we Jews celebrate Yom Kippur?

We ask for forgiveness for all our mistakes.

-So, what are you, Frankella? Perfect?

-I guess not.

Anyway, you're not required to fast until you're 13.

So, in the meantime, there are more important matters.

Really? Like what?

Maybe you should ask Catherine. She's in the kitchen.

Ah-ha! Busted!

I'm not eating cake, I'm just making it. It's for you.

It is?

It's for everyone. But I was gonna put your name on it.

After all, it is your first Yom Kippur fast!

You mean it WAS my first Yom Kippur fast.

I stuffed my face full of pizza at Arthur's.

Well, aren't you gonna rub my face in it?

I didn't make it all the way through my first time either.

Wanna lick the spoon?

Kids? Bubby? We're home!

You must be starving! I know we are.

-So, guess what we got?

-Pizza!

-Oh, how wonderful!

I am so glad you're not cooking.

Paper plates... What, china's suddenly too good for me?

I wish your grandfather were here.

He would have been so proud of you girls.

# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

# And everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

# And I say, hey! Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day... #