DW, Queen of the Comeback Arthur

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say hey

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day

# If you can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You've got to listen to your heart

# Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes Open up your ears

# Get together and make things better

# By working together

# It's a simple message

# And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself

# For that's the place to start

-# And I say hey

-Hey!

-# Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# If you can learn to work and play

-# And get along with each other

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day

-# Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# Hey! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey!

-Whoa!

Oooft!

-Charge!

-ARTHUR LAUGHS

PAL BARKS

ARTHUR LAUGHS

There are some moments I wish I could repeat again and again.

This is one of them.

Another one is when I pulled that sword from the stone

at the medieval fair and became the new king.

ALL GASP

For Buster, it might be that Father's Day

when his dad bought him a balloon ride.

I bet I know the moment Mr Ratburn would like to repeat.

What better way to start off our first day together

than with a pop quiz?

ALL GROAN

Ah. I will cherish this moment forever.

-For DW, it's probably when she saved that snowball...

-No, it isn't!

It's the time I got the Tibbles back for teasing me.

Nothing tastes as sweet as revenge.

Charge!

TWINS LAUGH

OK, now the bunny,

he's going to come and take a little nibble off your head.

I don't want the bunny to nibble off my head!

-And if you're a clown, what are you doing in a barber's shop?

-DW,

that's not polite.

I'm sorry, she's usually not this bad.

Oh, please. Last week I had the Tibbles.

Lucky for me they don't have a lot of hair.

Just close the eyes, don't move, and you can have a sugarless lollipop

-when we finish.

-This is so unfair.

Why does my hair have to be cut anyway? It never hurt anyone.

Don't worry. It'll grow back.

-I just got mine cut an hour ago.

-Nadine?

Ooh, I like it!

Oh! Um... I think I better go. Ciao.

-HE GASPS

-What a mess!

What? Is it over? Do I get my lollipop now?

Er...here. Take the whole bucket.

Aaargh!

Oh, come on. You can show me.

-I promise I won't laugh.

-Ohh.

SHE SNIGGERS

You promised you wouldn't laugh!

It was a cough, I swear!

COUGHS UNCONVINCINGLY

You're a terrible liar. We have to work on that

if the Tibbles are going to believe I have hairotosis.

-What's that?

-The disease I made up -

to explain why I have to wear this hat all the... Oh.

-Busted.

-Hey, nice haircut(!)

Really? You think so?

Wow, thanks!

You must be DW's brother. Can we call you David?

-Actually, he looks more like a Dennis.

-You're right.

Welcome to preschool, Dennis.

Oh! I should have known better. Well, my hair might be short

but you two look like...

-Um... Argh!

-OK!

Well, see you around, Dennis.

What about hairless mole rats?

That could have been a good comeback!

You're a little late!

It was awful!

I had nothing! I just stood there with my mouth hanging open.

-This is all your fault!

-My fault? How is this my fault?

You never taught me any good comebacks.

What do you say when you get teased for being boring?

I'm not boring!

Arthur, this isn't about you. I'm the one with helmet head.

Now, are you going to help me or not?

OK, OK! Well, when someone says something mean to me,

here's what I say back.

I know you are but what am I? Ha!

You're Dennis Read, DW's twin brother.

Do you feel all right, Dennis?

I feel fin... Hey! I'm not Dennis!

OK, it was a good try.

But they were on to you.

Use the other one Arthur gave you.

All right, come on, say something!

You're so smart and funny.

I'm rubber, you're glue,

whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you! Ha!

OK. Thanks for the compliment, Dennis.

Wait! That wasn't...

Aaghh!

THEY LAUGH

Why don't you just ignore the Tibbles?

Ignore them? That's it?

You guys are supposed to have great comebacks. You're bullies!

We're not bullies.

We're kids who have a hard time expressing our emotions

in a constructive manner.

I know what you should call them - bibliophiles.

A bibliophile is someone who loves books.

-Why would she call them that?

-I don't know.

I just like the way it sounds. Bibliophile!

Oh, yeah? Well, you're a...an...

an auto-didact.

Oh, forget it.

The Tough Customers are even worse at comebacks than you.

Philanthropist!

Humanitarian!

Indian food was one of the things I really missed when I was sick.

Now I get a new recipe every day

from my sister, who's travelling there.

It smells divine, Leah.

Doesn't it, DW?

I'm not hungry.

I wish Killer could talk. I bet she knows some good comebacks.

TOY SQUEAKS

How about this one -

"You're as friendly as a cactus and have the brains of a fly

"and when you smile, you look so vile,

"you could make an onion cry."

Well, Leah MacGrady!

It's perfect! You're a genius.

Say it again. I have to memorise it to use it against the Tibbles.

Whoa, there. I didn't know I was stepping into the middle of a feud.

Why don't you just try ignoring them, DW?

Everyone says that. Why should I? They started it.

I'm just defending myself.

You do have a point. But before you decide what to do,

I'd like you to listen to a story.

It comes from the Panchatantra,

a collection of Indian tales that's literally thousands of years old.

Once there was a tortoise, who lived in a lake with two geese friends.

There were plenty of fish to eat, room to swim about,

and they were all as happy as can be.

Then the lake dried up.

This was bad for the geese.

They would have to find a new lake.

But for the tortoise, it was much worse.

He moved so slowly, it would take him months, maybe years,

to find another home. He might not make it.

HE SOBS

The geese decided to help their friend out.

If the tortoise held a stick in his mouth,

the geese could grab the ends and fly him to a new lake.

There was only one catch -

the tortoise wouldn't be able to talk during the flight.

And he was a very chatty tortoise.

You think this'll hurt my beak?

Where will we stop for a bathroom break?

Will the new lake have frogs? They keep me up at night.

Don't fly too fast.

If it's worth getting there, it's worth getting there in one piece.

Who's got the map? Will we bring fish?

If I don't eat, I get cranky. What wood is this?

Oak wood would've been better.

You should've asked me - I know a beaver, gets me great oak.

Everything was going fine until a duck flew along.

She thought the flying tortoise

was the silliest thing she'd ever seen.

Ha-ha! Quack, quack, quack.

Hey, look!

It's Air Tortoise.

Do the peanuts on that flight come with or without shells?

Ha! You look like a flying saucer that's being towed.

It was getting harder and harder

for the tortoise to keep his mouth closed.

Are you driving an automatic or a stick shift? Hey!

Hey! What's the difference between you and every other tortoise?

About 1,000 feet! Quack!

Finally the tortoise had had all he could take.

Oh, yeah? Well, you are quackers!

Aaaarrrrgh!

And the poor tortoise fell and fell until...

-BEEPING

-That's my sister calling from India.

Set the table, I'll just be a minute.

Martha! Where are you now?

In a town called Bodh Gaya

with the most amazing trees!

So what was the moral? Keep the stick in your mouth when you're flying?

I'm not sure, I forgot to ask.

But I did remember part of Mrs MacGrady's comeback!

If the Tibbles call me Dennis again, they're going to get it.

-DW SIGHS

-Goodnight, Nadine.

NADINE SIGHS Goodnight, DW.

DW SIGHS

Quackers?! Of course I'm quackers!

I'd have to be to hang out with you.

No-one's forcing you.

Why don't you make like a tree? And leave!

Ha! You wouldn't last a day without me.

Maybe not, but at least it'd be a happy day.

Hey! You guys are from that Indian story.

So did you eventually become friends?

Friends, are you kidding me?! I'd rather be friends with a snake.

A snake wouldn't be your friend if you paid him. Crumpet?

No, thanks. I don't like to eat while I'm dreaming.

So, why are you two together if you don't like each other?

Every time Feather Brain teases me, I have to tease her back.

Then I have to tease Slowcoach back.

But if you constantly have to get each other back,

then you'll be at it forever.

It's only been 2,000 years so far.

Oh, we're also chained together.

-Huh!

-It was his fault, he put the cuffs on.

Yeah. But she lost the key.

Ooft!

-Hey, Emily!

-Hi, Dennis. How's DW? We haven't seen her in a while.

Oh, yeah?

-You two have the brains of a...

-SQUEAK!

You know what?

It's not worth my time.

Call me whatever you want,

I really don't care.

'After a few more times, they gave up.'

Then my hair grew back.

But from then on, I had a new method for dealing with the Tibbles -

I call it Keeping The Stick In The Mouth.

But I thought you said nothing tasted as sweet as revenge?

Oh. Mrs Morgan saw the whole thing, said I'd behaved very maturely

and gave me a brownie.

It was delicious.

One more?

TOGETHER: Charge!

# Every day when you're walking down the street

# And everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say hey!

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey! #