The Last King of Lambland Arthur


The Last King of Lambland

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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street

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# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears!

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# Get together and make things better by working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY!

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Hey, DW.

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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Oof!

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SHEEP BLEAT

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Dear James and Molly, greetings from Scotland.

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Today, my biking tour of the Lowlands took me to Castle Kilflurgen.

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Home of the famous Kilflurgen tapestry.

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It tells the story of some of our ancestors - The McDougal Donalds.

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The castle was built by Flurgen The Fantastic -

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the first head of the McDougal Donald clan.

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For many years there was peace and prosperity,

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but then Flurgen perished when his haggis exploded

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at the feast of Saint Ninian.

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After that, there was a succession of terrible rulers.

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Kilgore The Dim,

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Edna The Easily Amused,

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Oliver The Walloper.

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The animals fled and drought seized the land.

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It was a time of great despair.

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SOBBING

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Then, one day a lowly shepherd boy came to Kilflurgen.

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He was very timid and couldn't see very well,

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but he had magical powers.

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He could talk with animals

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and summon the rains.

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The villagers were so taken with this shy magical boy

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that they appointed him head of the clan

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and called him James The Squinty.

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He was very generous, kind and wise.

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And prosperity reigned for a thousand years.

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"Here is a toy made from the wool of one of the

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"sheep that grazed about Kilflurgen.

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"Legend says that it will give the owner

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"the powers and wisdom of the shepherd boy.

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"And, Molly, here's a CD

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"from our local Scottish punk band - Loch Tess."

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Outstanding.

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'Much love to both of you, your Uncle Miles.'

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We need more blocks for the castle. Bring in the royal bulldozer.

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HE MURMURS

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Many thanks, Sir Liam.

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LIAM HICCUPS

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Methinks this will not be enough blocks for the castle.

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Methinks we should get some more.

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BOTH: Boo! LIAM HICCUPS

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Hey, my lunch.

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What are you looking at us for?

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-He stepped on it.

-Yeah! We were just trying to cure his hiccups.

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You should thank us.

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-HICCUPS

-What an ugly mouse!

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Does it squeak when you squeeze it?

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It's not a mouse, it's a lamb

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and it has magic powers.

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What kind of magic powers?

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It's supposed to give you the powers of the Scottish king

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who could talk to animals and make rain.

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THEY LAUGH

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Maybe your magic mouse lamb can un-smush your lunch.

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THEY LAUGH

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SIGHS

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LIAM HICCUPS

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Everyone knows that "boo" doesn't cure hiccups.

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You need something really scary like Arthur.

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Help! Help!

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SHE SHUDDERS

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He was a frankentist.

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I still have no idea what it is, but it was terrifying.

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Here have one of my Madelines.

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Vroom.

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Thanks, guys. Well, I guess I can get rid of this now.

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CHIRPING

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SLURPING

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I can slurp louder than you.

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HE SLURPS

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Oh, yeah?

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HE SLURPS

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Tommy, look!

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TOMMY COUGHS

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What?

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Didn't James say that his mouse lamb could make him talk to animals?

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You don't think it really is magic, do you?

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Nah, but we better make sure.

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That's it, guys. The cafeteria's closed.

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HICCUPPING

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HE GASPS

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See, it isn't a magic mouse lamb, it's just a plain mouse lamb.

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It's not a mouse lamb, it's just a lamb.

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And it's mine!

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Yeah, if it's magic, then why doesn't it make it rain?

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Huh? Huh?

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THUNDER CLAPS

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Hey, bro, you got a quarter?

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Did you see that? He just pulled money out of the lambs mouth.

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It really is magic.

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BOTH: All hail King James.

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So then I said, "You're not the boss of me,"

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and then Arthur said... Hey!

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Sorry, King James needs more purple.

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Huh?

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I can't believe he took my crayon.

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Maybe you're overreacting.

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I've seen this before, Emily.

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Like when Mom and Dad leave Arthur in charge.

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He goes mad with power.

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BLEATING

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That's all the crayons in the kingdom, sire.

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Shall we draw now, Your Lambness?

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No, I just like to look at them. Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

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ALL LAUGH

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THUNDER CLAPS

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-PANTING

-Excuse me, your grace.

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The people are hungry, they have no bread.

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Then let them eat Madelines.

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Actually, I don't like Madelines.

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They're so sweet, you know.

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LAMB BLEATS

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Gather all the Madelines in the land...and stomp on them.

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Ooh, I love stomping.

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Enough! We'll never give you our desserts!

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This time you've gone too far.

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You can't tell me what to do!

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I am the king.

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By the power of this lamb, I hereby sentence DW to clean out

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all the stables in the land!

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SHE GASPS

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THEY LAUGH EVILLY

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Why would anyone stomp on Madelines?

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Hmm, maybe I AM overreacting.

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James is our friend. You should just go talk to him.

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Is James home?

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He's upstairs with the Tibbles

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re-enacting fairy tales, or something.

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Halt! Who goes there?

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You know who I am, Tommy.

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What's the password?

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SIGHING Ridiculous.

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That's right.

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OK, you can enter.

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Hey, DW, we're playing King. Want to join us?

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Er, no.

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I actually came by to tell you to stop acting like a king.

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It's kind of annoying.

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And funny looking.

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Well, maybe I like being king.

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-Is there a problem here, Your Lambness?

-No.

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DW was just leaving.

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What? But I...

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You heard King James. Now move it or I'll sweep you.

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So, how did it go with James?

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See for yourself.

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SCREAMS

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Oh, dear. This is not good.

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Remove yourselves from the swing, pheasants.

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It's peasants.

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Peasants. Come on, beat it. The King wants to swing.

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Is this how you treat your friends, James?

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Why are you acting like this?

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Do you enjoy being mean?

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Come on, your majesty, let's race.

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Slow down, Timmy. You're not supposed to go higher than the king.

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Let's go some place else. I don't like this view.

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Hey, King, what's the matter? Why aren't you smashing anything?

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He wants something better to smash.

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MURMURING AND HICCUPPING

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There, smash that, King.

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Yeah, yeah! Do it, do it, do it!

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SOBBING

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Here, Liam.

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Sorry.

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Here, take it.

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-I don't want it anymore.

-What?

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Why don't you want it anymore?

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Cos I don't want to be King.

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The lamb gave me magic powers

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and all they've done is make me miserable.

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That was a legend, bro. As in, not real.

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Anyway, if you remember, the shepherd boy wasn't just magical,

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he was also kind and generous.

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Hmm, I haven't been so good at that part.

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Good morning, King James. What are we going to smash today?

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Nothing! You're both fired.

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-HICCUPPING

-Vroom.

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Here, Liam. I'm giving you the lamb. Be a kind and generous king.

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I don't want that thing! Get it away.

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Hey! My hiccups are gone!

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You cured me! Thank you, James.

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-Welcome back, James.

-Thanks.

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So, is it going to rain today, Your Highness?

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Don't call me that...ever.

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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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-# What a wonderful kind of day What a wonderful kind of day.

-Hey!

-#

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