Fern and the Case of the Stolen Story Arthur
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Transcript
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# Every day when you're walkin' down the street | 0:00:02 | 0:00:04 | |
# Everybody that you meet | 0:00:04 | 0:00:07 | |
# Has an original point of view | 0:00:07 | 0:00:10 | |
-# And I say, hey! -Hey! | 0:00:10 | 0:00:12 | |
# What a wonderful kind of day | 0:00:12 | 0:00:15 | |
# We can learn to work and play | 0:00:15 | 0:00:17 | |
# And get along with each other | 0:00:17 | 0:00:20 | |
# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat | 0:00:21 | 0:00:23 | |
# Listen to the rhythm The rhythm of the street | 0:00:23 | 0:00:26 | |
# Open up your eyes! Open up your ears! | 0:00:26 | 0:00:29 | |
# Get together and make things better by working together | 0:00:29 | 0:00:32 | |
# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart | 0:00:32 | 0:00:36 | |
# Oh, believe in yourself | 0:00:36 | 0:00:39 | |
# For that's the place to start | 0:00:39 | 0:00:41 | |
-# And I say, hey! -Hey! -What a wonderful kind of day | 0:00:41 | 0:00:46 | |
# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other | 0:00:46 | 0:00:51 | |
# What a wonderful kind of day, hey! What a wonderful kind of day, HEY! # | 0:00:51 | 0:00:56 | |
Hey, DW! | 0:00:56 | 0:00:58 | |
-Hey! -Whoa...! -BUMPING AND CRASHING | 0:01:00 | 0:01:03 | |
Oh! | 0:01:05 | 0:01:07 | |
They say everyone has a story to tell, | 0:01:07 | 0:01:09 | |
and no-one has more stories than Fern. | 0:01:09 | 0:01:12 | |
-Oh! -Well, usually, that is. | 0:01:12 | 0:01:15 | |
-Hey, Fern - how's the story coming? -Huh? Oh, great. | 0:01:16 | 0:01:19 | |
-Just writing up a storm here. -Good. Because your piece | 0:01:19 | 0:01:22 | |
will be the main event at Muffy's Fiction Forum tomorrow. | 0:01:22 | 0:01:25 | |
Oh, and did I tell you - a famous writer is going to be there? | 0:01:25 | 0:01:29 | |
Oh, no! I mean - that's great. Who? | 0:01:29 | 0:01:33 | |
It's a surprise. But I'm sure he'll love your writing. | 0:01:33 | 0:01:36 | |
-You're so creative! -Oh! | 0:01:36 | 0:01:39 | |
This story is called...Blank, | 0:01:41 | 0:01:44 | |
so very, erm, | 0:01:44 | 0:01:46 | |
blank...and, er, | 0:01:46 | 0:01:49 | |
-er... -Hold on! Did you write a story or not? | 0:01:49 | 0:01:52 | |
I tried, but I just couldn't think of anything! | 0:01:52 | 0:01:56 | |
You mean I hath travelled 404 years into the future for this?! | 0:01:56 | 0:02:00 | |
Methinks this Fern is a fraud! | 0:02:00 | 0:02:04 | |
-SHE GASPS -I need an idea - something, anything! | 0:02:04 | 0:02:09 | |
Give me an idea! | 0:02:09 | 0:02:11 | |
Hey, want to play catch? | 0:02:21 | 0:02:22 | |
How can I when I'm supposed to write a whole story by tomorrow | 0:02:22 | 0:02:26 | |
and I don't have a single idea?! | 0:02:26 | 0:02:28 | |
Oh, yeah, Muffy's Fiction Forum - I'm going to that, too! | 0:02:28 | 0:02:31 | |
I could tell you stories that smack the taste right out of your mouth! | 0:02:31 | 0:02:35 | |
I never write them down, though. There was this one time... | 0:02:35 | 0:02:37 | |
-Oh, I should let you work. -No, no - tell me, please! | 0:02:37 | 0:02:41 | |
Well, I have this Aunt Mable who knits these wild-looking ponchos. | 0:02:41 | 0:02:44 | |
But what she's really good at is bingo. | 0:02:44 | 0:02:47 | |
She's the second-best player in all of Orleans parish. | 0:02:47 | 0:02:49 | |
Now, you might ask, who's the best player? No-one knows! | 0:02:49 | 0:02:54 | |
He comes in a cloak and a hat pulled way down, | 0:02:54 | 0:02:57 | |
and he never loses. Some people say he won a jet pack once. | 0:02:57 | 0:03:01 | |
Aunt Mable thinks he cheats but she can't prove it. | 0:03:01 | 0:03:04 | |
But you know what the really spooky part is? | 0:03:04 | 0:03:07 | |
Aunt Mable can't knit. | 0:03:08 | 0:03:10 | |
Where do all the ponchos come from? | 0:03:10 | 0:03:13 | |
Erm, thanks. I've got to go! | 0:03:13 | 0:03:16 | |
Good luck! | 0:03:16 | 0:03:18 | |
Prizes had been mysteriously vanishing | 0:03:19 | 0:03:21 | |
from the great bingo halls of Europe, | 0:03:21 | 0:03:24 | |
and only one woman could crack the case - | 0:03:24 | 0:03:26 | |
Detective Virgule Oiteau. | 0:03:26 | 0:03:30 | |
Eeen-teresting! | 0:03:31 | 0:03:33 | |
Agh! > | 0:03:34 | 0:03:36 | |
Quickly, Bastings! | 0:03:36 | 0:03:38 | |
There was a man in a grey coat and hat - | 0:03:38 | 0:03:41 | |
he took everything, even a jet pack! | 0:03:41 | 0:03:43 | |
There, there, Aunt Sabel - I'm sure we'll find the culprit. | 0:03:43 | 0:03:47 | |
Well, what are you standing around here for? | 0:03:47 | 0:03:50 | |
Go after 'em! | 0:03:50 | 0:03:51 | |
SHE SOBS | 0:03:51 | 0:03:54 | |
Mmm! Something, it smells of ze fish! | 0:03:55 | 0:03:59 | |
Look, Oiteau - over there! | 0:04:01 | 0:04:03 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:04:03 | 0:04:05 | |
This way, mon ami - we shall take ze abbreviated route! | 0:04:05 | 0:04:08 | |
So, we meet again... Monsieur Grey Dove! | 0:04:13 | 0:04:18 | |
'Ow did you know it was me? | 0:04:18 | 0:04:20 | |
It was...an 'oonch! | 0:04:20 | 0:04:23 | |
What's an 'oonch? | 0:04:23 | 0:04:24 | |
An 'oonch! You know, you get a feeling, but you have not ze facts? | 0:04:24 | 0:04:29 | |
-Eh, forget eet! -Well done, Oiteau! Another mystery solved! | 0:04:29 | 0:04:34 | |
Not yet, mon ami. You see, ze Grey Dove is just a piece of ze puzzle. | 0:04:34 | 0:04:39 | |
Multi-coloured ponchos? Where did you get these? | 0:04:39 | 0:04:42 | |
And where are all the bingo prizes? | 0:04:42 | 0:04:45 | |
She gave them to me on the condition that I never play bingo again! | 0:04:45 | 0:04:49 | |
A-ha-ha-ha-ha! | 0:04:49 | 0:04:51 | |
You'll never catch me now, Oiteau! | 0:04:51 | 0:04:54 | |
Quickly, toss me zat ball! | 0:04:54 | 0:04:57 | |
Agh! | 0:05:01 | 0:05:03 | |
Ooh! | 0:05:03 | 0:05:04 | |
Blimey! How did you know? | 0:05:07 | 0:05:10 | |
When I find dis thread, Oiteau knows, | 0:05:10 | 0:05:13 | |
it is from the unfashionable poncho of Aunt Sabel. | 0:05:13 | 0:05:17 | |
It wasn't fair! I wanted to show them all that Aunt Sabel | 0:05:17 | 0:05:21 | |
-was second to no-one! -Well, I guess this caper will be just another yarn | 0:05:21 | 0:05:25 | |
-for you to tell, hey, Oiteau? -Bingo, my dear Bastings. | 0:05:25 | 0:05:29 | |
-Bingo! -Ha-ha-ha! | 0:05:29 | 0:05:32 | |
-That was great, Fern! -It's just like a Raymond Hammett story! | 0:05:33 | 0:05:37 | |
Unfortunately, our guest writer couldn't make it today, | 0:05:37 | 0:05:39 | |
but he's coming tomorrow, so I say we have another literary gathering then. | 0:05:39 | 0:05:44 | |
-All those in favour? -Aye! | 0:05:44 | 0:05:47 | |
Great! Oh, and Fern - if you could do another Oiteau mystery, | 0:05:47 | 0:05:51 | |
that would be fabulous - thanks! | 0:05:51 | 0:05:53 | |
Another story?! | 0:05:55 | 0:05:56 | |
Hey, nice story. Especially the part where it was completely mine! | 0:05:56 | 0:06:02 | |
-What are you talking about? -The bingo, the ponchos, the jet pack! | 0:06:02 | 0:06:06 | |
And why did you make my aunt the villain - she's a real nice lady! | 0:06:06 | 0:06:10 | |
It wasn't your aunt - her name was Mabel. | 0:06:10 | 0:06:13 | |
-My character was Sabel. -Big deal - you changed a letter! | 0:06:13 | 0:06:17 | |
OK, maybe I borrowed an idea or two, but Dial B For Bingo is a mystery - | 0:06:17 | 0:06:22 | |
you never said anything about a detective. | 0:06:22 | 0:06:25 | |
That's true. Still, I wish you had asked me first. | 0:06:25 | 0:06:28 | |
-I -might like to use that stuff in a story some day. | 0:06:28 | 0:06:31 | |
And you should. If you wanted, I'd even help you. | 0:06:31 | 0:06:34 | |
-Just not tonight. -I know just what I would write about. | 0:06:34 | 0:06:38 | |
I've got this Uncle Silas, who's a clown, with the craziest hairdo, | 0:06:38 | 0:06:41 | |
and he has this parrot who tells terrible jokes. | 0:06:41 | 0:06:44 | |
But once the parrot got lost in... | 0:06:44 | 0:06:45 | |
Ladonna, it sounds amazing, but I should really go and get to work. | 0:06:45 | 0:06:49 | |
Oh, OK. Good luck! | 0:06:49 | 0:06:52 | |
What a great story - how does Fern come up with them? | 0:06:52 | 0:06:56 | |
Methinks you have writer's block. | 0:07:05 | 0:07:08 | |
-What's that? -When one's well of ideas has dried to dust, | 0:07:08 | 0:07:13 | |
the nib of one's quill begins to rust... | 0:07:13 | 0:07:16 | |
Oh! | 0:07:20 | 0:07:22 | |
Oh, hi, Mrs Compson - can I speak to Ladonna? | 0:07:25 | 0:07:28 | |
Oh, she's asleep? | 0:07:28 | 0:07:31 | |
OK. Erm, no, no message. Thanks. | 0:07:31 | 0:07:35 | |
Ah! | 0:07:35 | 0:07:37 | |
Oiteau and Bastings made their way through the deep, dense jungle. | 0:07:39 | 0:07:43 | |
Polly the Parrot, the pride of the Cirque de Fauteuil, | 0:07:43 | 0:07:47 | |
had gone missing, and the trail had led them to the Congo. | 0:07:47 | 0:07:50 | |
A fezzer - and it is still warm! We are close...! | 0:07:51 | 0:07:55 | |
-Agh! -Watch out! | 0:07:55 | 0:07:58 | |
It seems to be tipped with peanut butter. | 0:08:01 | 0:08:03 | |
You have saved me from a really 'orrible rash, mon ami! | 0:08:03 | 0:08:07 | |
Virgule Oiteau, she is very allergique! | 0:08:07 | 0:08:11 | |
-I'm -not! -Bastings, behold - | 0:08:11 | 0:08:15 | |
zer is more than one archer in zis jungle. | 0:08:15 | 0:08:18 | |
Only a clown would use this type of, how you say...prop comedy? | 0:08:18 | 0:08:23 | |
Agg! Polly! > | 0:08:23 | 0:08:25 | |
Ah-ha! Siras the Clown! | 0:08:27 | 0:08:30 | |
It was you who kidnapped Polly! | 0:08:30 | 0:08:33 | |
You're right, I did it, but it was only to protect her! | 0:08:33 | 0:08:37 | |
-Someone else is after here. -But who? | 0:08:37 | 0:08:40 | |
Zis thread - I have seen it somewhere before. | 0:08:40 | 0:08:44 | |
Huh! Ze Grey Dove! | 0:08:44 | 0:08:47 | |
I got rid of the ponchos - they were itchy. | 0:08:49 | 0:08:52 | |
But I guess a thread must have stuck to me. | 0:08:52 | 0:08:55 | |
Say bye-bye, birdie! It's time to collect my ransom! | 0:08:55 | 0:08:58 | |
Quick! Monsieur Clown - untie ze rope! | 0:08:58 | 0:09:01 | |
Ugh! | 0:09:04 | 0:09:05 | |
Zis shape - it is like ze boomerang! | 0:09:05 | 0:09:08 | |
Ha-ha-ha-ha...! Ow! | 0:09:10 | 0:09:13 | |
Polly was safe, and the Grey Dove went to prison. | 0:09:13 | 0:09:16 | |
But Siras did not take Polly back to the circus, | 0:09:16 | 0:09:20 | |
because, more than anything, Polly wanted...her freedom. | 0:09:20 | 0:09:25 | |
APPLAUSE | 0:09:25 | 0:09:27 | |
That was wonderful, Fern - where on earth do you get these ideas? | 0:09:27 | 0:09:31 | |
-Erm, well... -Excuse me! | 0:09:31 | 0:09:34 | |
I've got a story I want to tell! | 0:09:34 | 0:09:36 | |
Hope you'll like it as much as I liked yours(!) | 0:09:36 | 0:09:40 | |
-CLEARS THROAT -Ferg - that's with a G, not an N - was a cat burglar, | 0:09:40 | 0:09:46 | |
only instead of stealing cats, she stole something else. | 0:09:46 | 0:09:51 | |
LIGHTNING CRASHES | 0:09:52 | 0:09:55 | |
Why, Ferg - whatever are you doing? | 0:10:01 | 0:10:04 | |
Oh! Erm, nothing, Ladella, I was just leaving. | 0:10:04 | 0:10:08 | |
I believe you have something of mine. | 0:10:11 | 0:10:14 | |
Ha-ha! What do you mean? | 0:10:14 | 0:10:16 | |
You have stolen something that is very, very valuable to me - | 0:10:16 | 0:10:21 | |
-my stories! -Wait a minute... | 0:10:21 | 0:10:25 | |
Ladella couldn't let Ferg steal the story of Uncle Silas | 0:10:25 | 0:10:28 | |
and his parrot - which he did not steal from a French circus, | 0:10:28 | 0:10:31 | |
but bought at the pet store in the mall... | 0:10:31 | 0:10:34 | |
-Hey, that was about me! -It's just a story! | 0:10:34 | 0:10:37 | |
-See, the name's different? -You want a story? Fine. | 0:10:37 | 0:10:41 | |
I'm writing one right now about a girl named Ladoona, | 0:10:41 | 0:10:44 | |
-who doesn't understand the creative process. -Oh, yeah? | 0:10:44 | 0:10:47 | |
I'm writing a story about a writer named Ferm... | 0:10:47 | 0:10:50 | |
who won't admit that she steals stories! | 0:10:50 | 0:10:53 | |
I'm not a thief. I tried to call you but you were asleep! | 0:10:53 | 0:10:56 | |
Excuse me, but these new stories that you're writing - | 0:10:56 | 0:10:59 | |
-they sound very dull. -I want her to admit | 0:10:59 | 0:11:01 | |
that she was using stories about my family! | 0:11:01 | 0:11:05 | |
I wasn't! That could have been any bad joke-telling parrot, | 0:11:05 | 0:11:09 | |
and Sabel isn't Mabel, and Silas isn't Siras. | 0:11:09 | 0:11:11 | |
I mean, Siras isn't... | 0:11:11 | 0:11:13 | |
OK, I admit it! I have writer's block! | 0:11:13 | 0:11:17 | |
I have no more ideas left! I'm finished! | 0:11:17 | 0:11:21 | |
And I just got carried away. | 0:11:21 | 0:11:23 | |
I didn't think of it as stealing, but I guess it was. | 0:11:23 | 0:11:26 | |
I'm sorry. | 0:11:26 | 0:11:28 | |
Well...but you did start writing again. | 0:11:28 | 0:11:31 | |
That Grey Dove stuff - that was all you. | 0:11:31 | 0:11:34 | |
-That's true! -Maybe we could even work on a story together, | 0:11:34 | 0:11:38 | |
-like, as a team? -BANGING | 0:11:38 | 0:11:42 | |
OK, I'm officially bored, but the good news is, | 0:11:42 | 0:11:45 | |
our guest author has arrived. Ladies and gentlemen - | 0:11:45 | 0:11:48 | |
Ed Crosswire! | 0:11:48 | 0:11:50 | |
This is from my new memoir, A Deal Like You Wouldn't Believe. | 0:11:50 | 0:11:55 | |
Chapter One - I was born near the dump, | 0:11:55 | 0:11:58 | |
but I knew I wasn't garbage... | 0:11:58 | 0:12:01 | |
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd | 0:12:12 | 0:12:14 |