I'm a Poet/Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club Arthur


I'm a Poet/Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club

Animation double bill. Arthur enters a poetry contest, and develops a passion for a series of scary books.


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Transcript


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# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

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# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

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# And get along with each other

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# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

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# Listen to the rhythm of the street

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# Get together and make things better By working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

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-Hey, DW!

-Hey...

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Oh...

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"My Sister Is A Sissy, by Jack Prelutsky.

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"My sister is a sissy She's afraid of dogs and cats..."

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ARGH!

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"..A toad can give her tantrums..."

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ARGH!

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"..And she's terrified of rats.

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"She screams at things with stingers Things that buzz, things that crawl.

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"Just the shadow of a spider Sends my sister up the wall

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"A lizard makes her shiver And a turtle makes her squirm

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"She positively cringes At the prospect of a worm

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"She's afraid of things with feathers AND things with fur -

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"She's scared of almost everything! How come I'm scared of HER?"

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Two days till the poetry contest and only ONE student is signed up -

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-Fern.

-(Fern never said she wrote poetry.)

-Fern never says ANYTHING.

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The judge is poet Jack Prelutsky. It's not too late!

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Listen - I'm a poet. Moon, June, spoon...a loon.

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Just THINKING of poetry makes me sleepy!

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HE SNORES

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-Binky, know what's twice as boring as a poem?

-What?

-TWO poems!

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You only make fun cos YOU couldn't write a poem if you tried.

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-That's the most she's said all year!

-You tell 'em Fern!

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Maybe I COULDN'T write a poem.

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But neither could THEY.

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-I could if I wanted to.

-Me, too.

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I could write a better poem than you with my brain tied behind my back!

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Oh, yeah(!) I'd like to see that!

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-I bet NONE of you could.

-I could too!

-Maybe Binky can't, but I can!

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-There's nothing Arthur can do that I can't!

-You're so rude, Fern!

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-What an attitude!

-Somebody hold me back or I'll write one NOW!

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QUIET!

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I bet none of you can write a poem in time to submit it to the contest.

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-Bet I can!

-OK!

-Want to bet?! I'll do better than Binky.

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Anyone else hungry?

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Anyone who doesn't, has to join the poetry club for a year. Bet?

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Or are you a bunch of chickens?

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-(How do you write a poem?)

-(I thought YOU knew.)

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I don't wanna spend a YEAR in poetry club.

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Find a good poem and write one like it!

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"The time has come," the walrus said "To talk of many things

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"Of shoes and ships and sealing-wax Of cabbages and kings

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"And why the sea is boiling hot And whether pigs have wings..."?

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-I can't write like that!

-Find one that makes sense.

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What? "Something better than his dog A little dearer than his horse."

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A riddle? What's better than his dog, a little dearer than his horse?

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A gerbil that does your homework.

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Nothing's better than MY dog. Skip this guy - he doesn't like dogs.

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Wow, listen to these titles!

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The Haunted Palace, The Conqueror Worm...

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Must be about a giant worm.

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Listen. "It was the dead who groaned within."

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BOTH: Cool!

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I got one that makes sense.

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"Listen, my children And you shall hear

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"Of the midnight ride Of Paul Revere..."

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OK, we're ready.

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-How long did you work on your poem last night?

-I...sort of watched TV.

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-The Brain has finished his poem.

-..Already?!

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Can I read it? Comments will help me perfect it.

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I, The Brain will explain What makes rain

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Water drops are what clouds contain

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They reach saturation - precipitation Hits the ground, goes down the drain.

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I'm done, too! My favourite thing to do is shop

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Shoes, shirts, coats, rings (I never have enough jewellery) till I drop!

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-I LOVE to shop!

-That's not a poem, it's a list!

-Shop rhymes with drop!

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-Duh(!)

-Remember - all poems in by tomorrow.

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Listen, my children As I tell you

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Of a duck and a chicken On a bus to Oklahom-u.

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Yeuch!

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-When you're done with your poem, can you help me?

-I'm done.

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But I'm watching a video. Sorry!

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I know a great poem. Roses are red, violets are blue

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My nose smells And your feet do, too!

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That's so funny! Cracks you up, huh?

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Arthur?

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-Why the rush to get to school?

-I have to stop at Fern's house.

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Can I hear that again?

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-Once upon a midnight cloudy A big old bat says "Howdy!"

-Buster?

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-You said you were done!

-I-I didn't want you to think I couldn't do it.

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Instead of copying other poems, why not just write about what you like?

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-Who'd want to hear what

-I

-like?

-Who wouldn't?

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I'm done!

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Er... I'm done.

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'Today is very boring It's a very boring day -

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'There's nothing much to look at There is nothing much to say.'

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There's a peacock on my sneakers There's a penguin on my head

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There's a dormouse on my doorstep - I'm going back to bed.

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Today is VERY boring It is boring through and through -

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There is absolutely nothing That I think I want to do.

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I see giants riding rhinos And an ogre with a sword

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And a dragon blowing smoke rings - I am positively bored.

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Today is VERY boring I can...hardly help but yawn -

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There's a flying saucer landing In the middle of my lawn.

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A volcano just erupted Half a mile away

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And I think I felt an earthquake - It's a very boring day.

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Thank you! >

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Let's have our first contestant.

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..Ghosts of fallen trees weep

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For a world That can't live without them.

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Thank you, Mr Prelutsky. I have all of your poetry books.

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You're obviously a girl with impeccable taste!

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Next, Francine Frensky.

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My dad took me to a hockey game I got hit on the head by a puck

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I yelled out "Ow, my head! OW! Call an ambulance! Ouch! It hurts!

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"Put ice on it - it's gonna swell"

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I got a big purple lump on my head And used it for Show And Tell.

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Where's Arthur?

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People think I can't write a poem. They're so wrong, I CAN write a poem.

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I wrote this one. I wrote this poem.

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And gave it the title "Binky's Poem". So shut up! (The end.)

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THAT'S not a poem. He rhymed "poem" with "poem" four times!

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It was great! Yay, Binky!

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Our final poet is Buster Baxter. >

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These are the things That make me nauseous

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Green gloop that drips from faucets Blue hair that grows on bread

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When your dog drools in your bed When a dirty sock drops on your face

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When your friend's baby sister Starts to spew

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Half a worm in the apple you bit Finding human bone in your Jello

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Blowing nose-slime, green and yellow

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And people eating creamed corn with their mouths open so you can see it!

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-The end.

-Maybe I shouldn't mention there's free butterscotch pudding...

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BLEUGH!

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Am I too late? The street was full of elephants!

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HE WHISPERS

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Our FINAL final poem is Jimmy Goes To The City, by Arthur Read.

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Jimmy was a happy ape Until some hunters caught him -

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He liked the jungle better than The city where they brought him

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The city was louder and meaner The DIRT in the jungle was cleaner

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Jimmy made a daring escape - The hunters were now minus one ape

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He climbed the tallest building Cos from there he'd see

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How far away the jungle was From the middle of the ci-ty

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Jimmy jumped into a passing plane -

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The pilot didn't wait for him to explain

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Jimmy flew back to the jungle Told his ape friends in their lair

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"The city's OK for a visit, but You couldn't make ME live there!"

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And the winner of the contest is...

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I hate contests! You ALL win!

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Nobody has to join the poetry club - they won the bet.

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-But it was fun!

-Yeah. I know LOTS of disgusting stuff.

-I wanna do more!

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-They can't stop us joining!

-Sign up here.

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-Mr Prelutsky, could you read us another poem?

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

-Yeah!

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Please? All right!

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Well, Buster's poem put me in mind of one of my own, Jellyfish Stew.

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Jellyfish Stew I'm loony for you

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I dearly adore you Oh, truly I do...

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Ever started a book you can't put down?

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When I start a Scare Your Pants Off Club book, I can't stop.

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-BELL RINGS

-Class dismissed...! Arthur?

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Arthur!

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Hey, Arthur...

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Arthur!

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Huh.

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Wargh!

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Goodness! Turn that off and go to sleep!

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Wait, Dad, I'm almost done. I have to know how it...ends.

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Ta-ra! By special request, a hearty breakfast of my whoopee-waffles!

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-Whoopee! Waffles!

-Morning, Mom, Dad! Gotta run!

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Arthur!

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-Whoopee!

-I'm impressed.

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Breakfast first!

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-Oh, OK!

-Arthur, why are you in such a hurry?

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Sorry! Got to be first in line for the Scare Your Pants Off Club book.

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-At the library? On a Saturday?

-Wow - hard to argue with that!

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If he's not eating seconds, can I have his?

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Gotta hurry. Gotta get there first.

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Oh, no!

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-Guess we should've met earlier.

-Like three days ago(!)

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Maybe they're just here to study.

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-I guess we could check out some of the old ones to read again.

-Yeah.

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Curse Of The Mummy's Breath! That was really scary.

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Or Bones In The Attic.

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Or the scariest of all - Zombie Substitute Teacher.

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CAW-CAWWWW!

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YEOWL!

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GRRR!

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Look! They're opening.

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THUNDER CRASHES

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I'm afraid I have bad news.

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You can't check out the new Scare Your Pants Off Club book today.

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ALL Scare Your Pants Off Club books have been removed from our shelves.

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WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!

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Shh!

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I don't get it. Who'd want to get rid of our books?

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..A parents' group chased a series of children's books from the library.

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-Julie?

-PAWS, that's Parents Against Weird Stories,

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they say the scary stories are bad for kids.

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We tried to reach EA dePoe, author, for comment - with no success.

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PAWS is having a rally tomorrow,

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in front of the library.

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Condition red, Arthur. If we ever want our pants scared off again,

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we gotta move fast... Arthur?

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-But do what?

-It's not fair!

-Not much we CAN do.

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Minors have limited access to legal recourse or arbitration.

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Come on, we can't give up! We never gave up before!

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-Sure we have.

-Lots of times.

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Not when it's important. Remember when you helped clean my garage,

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so I could go see Galaxy Avengers?

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Look at me... Wow!

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I remember! Nice going, Buster(!)

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-The point is, we made it to the movie.

-The NEXT day.

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OK, what about when Buster needed help with math...?

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-Maybe Arthur's right. But what can we do?

-I know! We can go on strike!

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No homework till we get our books back!

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Well, it was worth a try.

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-We must quantitatively demonstrate we're not alone in our opinion.

-Huh?

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Show PAWS a lot of kids want their books back.

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I know - we should get signatures on a petition. That's what my mom did.

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-It saved the old City Hall building.

-Do we have time?

-Let's find out!

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GOOD MORNING, ELWOOD CITY!

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Step right up!

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Sign your name to save our books

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and see the Amazing Arthur's derring-do!

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Buster, are you sure about this?

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(It's a commercial. Before they'll sign, we must get their attention!)

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Go on!

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PEOPLE LAUGH AND CHEER

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Well done!

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Sign on the dotted line!

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PAWS is takin' your books away So I'm asking for your help today

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Line up now and sign your name It's why I'm doing a jump-rope game!

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Impact on school performance is geometric, as you see.

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-A marked rise in the learning curve. Is it not obvious you must sign?

-No.

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-But we will if you promise to stop explaining it!

-Please!

-Absolutely!

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HE WHISTLES TUNELESSLY

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Excuse me. A parents' group took our favourite books from the library.

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-Would you sign a petition to put them back?

-Another volunteer worker!

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But it depends on the books. I wouldn't go against your parents.

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They're not OUR parents. I dunno WHO they are. It's our favourite books -

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The Scare Your Pants Off Club books.

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The Scare Your Pants Off Club books? Do you read them, er...?

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-Arthur. Yes - all of them! I haven't missed a single one!

-It IS serious.

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Maybe I should speak to this group. Don't give up, Arthur.

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-You and your friends are doing a good thing!

-Sure - thanks!

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I think... Hey - wait! You forgot to sign.

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You think we have enough names?

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I think so. We just have to hope they'll listen to us.

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Who wants to go to WonderWorld free? I'm having a party there!

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-You're all invited.

-WOW! WonderWorld!

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-Lick?

-My mom won't let me. Too much fat...sugar... Take it away.

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Hey, Muffy! Look, it's your parents.

0:20:210:20:25

You don't know the harm these books do! My poor daughter had nightmares.

0:20:250:20:31

We started PAWS to save other kids. We're having a big rally.

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-At the library tomorrow.

-YOUR mom and dad started PAWS?

0:20:360:20:41

Yes. And no-one working against them can come to MY party.

0:20:410:20:47

-What?!

-What?!

-What?!

-But we want our books back, Muffy.

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You have to decide which means more to you.

0:20:510:20:56

My fabulous party - or silly books.

0:20:560:20:59

I dunno what to do, Mom. I don't wanna miss Muffy's WonderWorld party

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OR lose my favourite books.

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Arthur, all I can say is when you add everything up,

0:21:070:21:11

you have to do what you think is right. Even if it's a sacrifice.

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What if I'm the only one to protest?

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What if all my friends go to WonderWorld?

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Don't be afraid to look foolish for what you believe in.

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I'm late for the kids' charity do. PHWRRRRT! Ah, found it.

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I'm not doing this for Ed Crosswire of Crosswire Motors, Park Street -

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open most nights till ten - I'm doing it to save our kids.

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Mr Crosswire, speaking for the kids, we really want our books back.

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-We got signatures of support.

-That's nice, son. But we act for YOUR good.

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Excuse me - have YOU read these books?

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Well, HAVE you?

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I'm proud to say I wouldn't if you paid me.

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Miss McWord - my old English teacher!

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You never DID read, Ed(!)

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The writer works hard on stories kids LIKE to read -

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so then they'll read OTHER books too.

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What makes YOU an expert? I wrote them!

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-YOU wrote the Scare Your Pants Off Club books?

-EA dePoe is my pen-name.

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Miss dePoe! I'm your number one fan!

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I have all your books. Anyone got a pen?

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Oops!

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-You've read them ALL?

-Well, Mary Alice Crosswire!

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-If it wasn't those books that gave you a nightmare, what WAS it?

-Hey.

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I'm beginning to understand who ate my quart of HazenPfeffer ice cream.

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You KNOW it gives you nightmares! Oh, Muffy!

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Ed, what say we actually READ one of my books and see what you think?

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Oh...yes, why not?

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"..And since that night,

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"nobody has dared to steal from the haunted hamburger stand again!"

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Well, Daddy?

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-I guess I shouldn't have tried to stop you reading books

-I

-hadn't read.

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Then we can have them back?

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Well, on one condition.

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Would you read another one? Please?

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"No-one in the village knew why the old man lived all alone,

0:23:400:23:45

"deep in the dark woods. Only the forest animals knew his secret."

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Subtitles by E Kane BBC Scotland - 2001

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E-mail us at [email protected]

0:24:100:24:15

Arthur and his friends each write a poem to be judged by the famous poet Jack Prelutsky.

The gang develop a consuming passion for the Scare-Your-Pants-Off books, a series of hair-raising, spine-tingling ghost stories. But a parents' group wants to take the books away! Can the Scare-Your-Pants-Off Club save the day?


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