Arthur Versus the Mean Crossing Guard/DW's Bad Mood Arthur

# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm Rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes Open up your ears

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

Hey! DW!

Hey!

Anybody here?

DW is so easy to fool.

She'll believe anything!

One time, I told her sweaters were a kind of animal.

I'm NOT afraid of you!

Aaagh!

I told her that if you stayed in the tub after you pulled out the plug...

..you'd get sucked in!

She wouldn't take a bath for weeks!

-Yep, she'll believe anything.

-Arthur!

-Did you find anything?

-No monsters. At least, none I noticed.

Try not to think about them.

SQUEAK!

Hey!

I told her my Bionic Bunny poster could talk,

and it could tell me if she came in my room.

It must be great to have someone as gullible as DW for a sister.

-Is it ever! Wanna come to my house and play Fool the Mule?

-Sure.

-..Eh, Brain, what does gullible mean?

-Easy to fool.

Right!

-I forgot. Yeah, that DW, she sure is gullible!

-Hello, partners.

How are you doing?

Fine. What happened to Mrs Hurley?

She's out of town. I'm holding the fort.

That'll be 10 dollars, please.

-10...

-..dollars?!

New rule. 10 dollars to cross the street.

I'll take that in small bills, please.

But we don't have 10 dollars!

You expected to cross the street for free?!

N-no... but we always did before, sir.

Well, I guess you can pay me later.

But don't take too long or I'll send my goons after you.

10 dollars to cross the street? That's 50 dollars a week!

I'm lucky I live on the other side.

I contain 5 dollars and 37 cents.

Oink!

Arthur, I can't afford to walk home from school.

Stop here!

Brain, where have you been? No-one's seen you since 3rd Grade.

I could only cross 5 dollars and 37 cents' worth.

This is as far as he would let me come.

Well, if you want service, you have to pay for it!

Wait!

I need 4 dollars and 63 cents so I can...

get across! EVIL LAUGHTER

Ohhhh!

We can't even pay for today.

You think he'll send his goons?

Arthur, what are goons?

I was gonna ask YOU that.

CHATTERING

Ohhh! Who are you?!

Are you...the goons?

Of course not. We're BABOONS. Ooh-oooh-oooh!

The goons will be along later... and they're REALLY scary.

He's sending things after us and we don't even know what they are!

We have to stay calm and come up with a plan.

I thought about it all night, Arthur.

-The mean Crossing Guard is only there in the afternoon, right?

-Right.

So I have to find a way home after school. Here are my ideas.

Plan A. The bridge.

Drawback...

storing it.

Plan B.

The tunnel.

Phew!

Aaaaghhh!

Drawback - directions.

Plan C. The balloon.

Drawback - getting blown off course...

..crashlanding in a strange country populated by strange creatures...

..and having to declare myself Wizard.

Gee, you really thought this out.

Yeah, but none of my ideas work. I just need a functional plan.

Sure you don't wanna come to my house?

-I'd better save my money for when I really MUST see you.

-Good thinking.

Here goes.

Where's your partner in crime headed?

We didn't perpetrate any criminal acts.

Sure I haven't seen your mug on a wanted poster?

Maybe down at the Post Office?

N-n-no!

Watch your step.

I'm on to you. One false move, and it's into the slammer with you!

I'm...crossing...the... Have to get across!

If only I hadn't crossed the street so many times,

-my parents wouldn't have had to sell up.

-A tent might not be THAT bad!

It might be fun!

I wonder who bought our house anyway?

Home sweet home!

Aaaaaggggh!

I can't think! If only my parents would move across the street!

Ahem!

-Everything would be fine.

-I'm sure you could stay at our house tonight.

-Grandma Thora's baby-sitting and she says yes to anything!

-Really?

< Ahem!

I'll go straight to your house and call my parents from there.

-Here they are!

-We're not crossing the street today. Thank you anyway!

I hope you aren't planning to cross at some other stop sign.

I've got cameras everywhere!

In theory, it's possible.

-Cameras can be made small enough to fit in this stuffed bear.

-Wow!

-Think he has cameras in there?

-Could be. Better talk in code.

The penny jar...

-sure is mean.

-That's right.

It's almost as bad as...the rug.

What?!

Arthur! >

-Come check my bed.

-There's nothing under there, DW. Go to sleep.

You know things are bad when I don't even feel like torturing DW!

I've got it! Brain, wake up! I know what to do!

-Could you, Grandma?

-Why, of course.

If you're sure that's what you want.

We'll see you after school.

Brilliant idea, Arthur. CAR HORN

Grandma Thora's cab company!

Who needs a ride home?

It's nice of you to drive me home. Why are we stopping?

-There's someone on the crosswalk.

-He sees us! Duck!

-What's going on back there? Fasten those seatbelts right now!

-Grandma!

-He'll see us!

-Who? Ted?

-You KNOW him?!

-He's so mean!

Ted? Oh, he's a pussycat.

-He wants money from us.

-What?!

We'll see about this.

He LOOKS mean! He's the meanest ever!

He said he'd send his goons after us!

-And turn Brain in to the police.

-He has cameras in all the stop signs.

And you actually believed all this?!

That's the funniest thing! You guys will believe anything!

Arthur. Alan.

This is Ted. He wants to tell you boys something.

Ted?

I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry if my kidding around

gave you two a scare.

-That's all right.

-We didn't really believe it much.

-GIGGLING

I was sure he was joking when he talked about the cameras.

You'd have to be gullible to believe THAT!

-I guess even smart people believe dumb stuff sometimes.

-ARTHUR!

-Come here!

-See you tomorrow, Brain.

-I think I heard something move.

-Better watch out. It could be a...

What?!

Actually...there aren't any monsters under the bed, DW.

-I was just saying that to fool you.

-I know that! I've ALWAYS known that.

But...could you check anyway?

Pl-e-e-e-e-ase?

Anyway, I figured it wasn't nice to scare her.

-Good idea. She's liable to believe anything.

-Hello, boys.

-Hi.

-Hello.

-Wait.

-Aren't you gonna ask us the password(?)

-Right!

You boys are crossing into enemy territory now!

Could be inhabited by goons(!)

Could be WORSE, I hear. Watch your step!

It's nice when you have a perfect family.

There! A nutritious lunch, all neatly packed.

-Gee, thanks, Mother!

-Son, would you like a ride to school?

Thanks, Father!

Hello, Mr and Mrs Reid!

Hi!

Arthur, are you ready?

We've never been late for school.

Coming!

You see? My life is just about perfect.

Except for one little thing...

-RUMBLING

-Can you guess?

WHERE'S MY BREAKFAST?

COME BACK HERE! I'M HUNGRY!

OK, OK. So I'm slightly exaggerating.

-These Cornpops are soggy! I won't eat them!

-But only slightly.

You can't make me! And I'm not going to pre-school.

I'll do what I want. You hear me?!

One for you, and you... Arthur!

-Wake up!

-Huh?

-I'm inviting you to my birthday party.

-I'm sorry. I can't go. Too tired.

-The party's not for two weeks.

You'll have plenty of time to sleep.

Want to bet? DW's going nuts.

Last night she wouldn't stop screaming.

You're making me go to bed because you don't want me around!

-You don't love me! You wish I wasn't even born.

-Sleep tight, DW!

Let's hope you feel better tomorrow.

I won't!

I won't! I won't! I won't!

I WON'T!

She did that all night long!

-What if she never lets me go to sleep again?

-Interesting experiment!

We could chart your deterioration...

Why not just ask her what's wrong?

-Why don't YOU ask her?

-OK. I will.

-Thanks, Mrs Reid.

-My pleasure.

-One at a time!

-You're always picking on me! Never anyone else!

Only me, me, ME!

Everybody has to eat politely...

-and that includes you.

-That does NOT include me!

You always make me stay home when there's anything fun!

Only Arthur gets to have fun!

-DW, can I ask you a question?

-Maybe.

-What's the matter with you?

-Ohhhh!

That was great. You really solved the problem(!)

-I didn't think she'd get so upset.

-It's not YOUR fault.

May I be excused?

DW IS SOBBING

I'm sorry, DW. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

But you really ARE being a total duffus.

Who asked you? You don't even live here!

I'm Arthur's friend.

-When something's bugging him, I want to help.

-Know what?

-What?

Go... Go... Ohhhh!

I'm too tired to think of any more mean things to say!

-Did Francine figure out what's wrong?

-No. It only made her worse.

I thought we'd get arrested!

'Join us for another nerve-wracking Temper Tantrum Patrol Squad!'

Upstairs and to the right!

-You have the right to remain silent!

-I'll be as loud as I want!

And you can't stop me! No-one can! Who made YOU the boss of the world?

We need backup - fast!

Cor! When is THAT gonna be on?

I think DW's being a pain because she's upset about something.

What does DW have to be upset about? She's four years old!

It's not like she's a 3rd Grader!

Something's bothering her...

-and it's up to us to find out - today!

-We have soccer practice.

Tomorrow!

Love to. But I have to clean the garage.

And I have to... I have to do... ..clean our garage, too!

Coincidence!

-Thanks a lot, guys.

-Any time!

Subject in view.

-What's she doing?

-Eating her sandwich. Making a face.

She's spitting the baloney into her hand, throwing it into the bushes...

Pal's eating the... ..PAL! PUT THAT DOWN!

Quiet! Spies don't yell!

Sorry. I couldn't help it... seeing Pal eat spit-covered baloney.

YUK!

Here!

Where...?

I know what you're doing! It won't work!

She's not saying anything, and it's 10 o'clock and I'm tired.

Whatever it is, she'll say it in her sleep.

-You can't give up.

-Ohhh!

-This might be it!

It's wrong!

-Something's wrong!

-It's wrong. Something's wrong...

-Because...

Because...

BECAUSE ARTHUR IS A DODO BRAIN!

Because Arthur is a dodo brain!

-FRANCINE LAUGHS

-Stop laughing!

This is it, Francine!

If we can't figure out what's wrong today,

-then I give up!

-I'm telling you, we're close - then you can sleep.

There she is!

First, we'll go to the movie...

then we'll go back to my house.

Remember - Saturday at one o'clock!

-She's looking right at us!

-Not us - THEM!

Hi, DW.

Francine, can I ask you a question?

-Sure.

-Why don't you go back to your own house and stop bothering us?

DW! This being rude to everybody has got to stop!

I know something that might make me feel better.

I'd feel much better if I could see Krazy Kool Kittens

this Saturday at one o'clock.

-You've seen that movie twice, DW.

-Grrrrrrrrr!

Arthur and I would LOVE to go!

GASPS OF PANIC

How could you make me do this?!

-You want to find out what's wrong. Just hang on!

-You'd better be right.

Even DW isn't having fun.

DW LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY

-What are you doing?!

-HAVING FUN! LOADS AND LOADS OF FUN!!

Oh, hi, DW.

Lisa! I didn't know you'd be here!

I'm here with my friends... having lots of fun!

I have lots and LOTS of friends.

I'm really popular and I get invited

-to a lot of birthday parties.

-That's nice.

WHISPERING AND GIGGLING

-Maybe the previews will be interesting.

-I don't feel well.

-I wanna go home!

-We just got here!

What am I saying?! Let's go!

All that money and we still don't know what's wrong.

Except she's driving me bussalooey! And you know how I hate that word!

-DW and I are gonna get some ice cream. Why not go home?

-What?

This is just for girls. See you!

You shouldn't ever feel left out,

-because you just might NOT be. Get it?

-No.

-The point is...

you shouldn't feel bad because you didn't get invited to that party.

-WHAT party?

-Come on! Those girls at the movie.

-That's what's been bugging you, right?

-Maybe.

-SOBS

-Francine, can you help me?

Of course, DW. Anything you say.

OK. Cos here's what I want...

Happy birthday, Lisa!

# La-la-lala-la! La-la-la-la-la! #

MANIC LAUGHTER

Time to rain on their little parade! Ah-ha-ha!

That sounds kind of mean.

-They were mean first!

-Maybe there wasn't enough room.

Hey, whose side are you on anyway?

Is Lisa someone you play with a lot?

No. But she's friends with my friend Emily...

-and SHE got to go to the party.

-Everybody can't go to every party.

But I think I have an idea.

What? What?

Hey, look.

-It's for DW.

-What?

Really?

It's for ME? What IS it?

Wow!

-"Miss DW Reid is invited..."

-I'm invited!

I'm invited! I'm invited! ..To what?

-"..to Francine's birthday party."

-Y-es!

No way!

This is better than Lisa's party! A 3rd-Grade party!

Just wait till I tell them!

What a nice friend Francine is.

Awwwww!

Subtitles by Janice Hamilton BBC Scotland

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