The Chips Are Down/Revenge of the Chip Arthur

# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day If we can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Open up your eyes Open up your ears

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-- hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

-- HEY! #

Hey, DW!

-Hey...!

-Oh...!

-Hey, you guys, I'm doing a poll.

-Her new thing. She saw it on TV.

I feel children should seek out the opinions of elders they respect.

-Come on, DW, you're bothering them.

-If she respects us, we should help.

Name something you always wanted to do. Arthur first.

-I wanna play a real piano concert. OK?

-That it? That's not so exciting.

It is if you sky-dive at the same time.

I'D like to orbit Saturn, practise my drive to the net without gravity.

What about you, big head kid? I'm taking a poll.

-Is there anything you've always wanted to do?

-Um... Yeah.

Hey, look out there!

Ah-h...

-I always wanted to do that.

-HE HUMS

-ARGH!

-Oops!

-DW!

Duck!

I found another duck! ..Wow! Look!

This kinda looks like Francine.

-Which pile does it go in?

-The first pile is big ones. Then small ones.

Bird ones, ones that look like ducks and ones like people we know. ..DW!

-I said you could have a chip when we were done.

-NOW!

-Wait 5 minutes!

-PLE-EASE?

-NO!

MO-OM! Arthur won't share and it's my house too, because I live here...

There's no category for this.

-Put it down carefully.

-MOM: Arthur, please come here.

-Can't you let DW have one potato chip?

-We will. I explained it to her.

We're the Potato Chip Club. Before eating them, we must organise them.

We'll share them with her when we're done.

This is the most beautiful thing I've seen! I wanna keep it always.

MOM: DW, the boys will give you a chip in five minutes.

Let's call it Big Green, the Eighth Wonder Of The World.

Big Green is gone!

BOTH: DW!

I know how to get her to confess.

I'm SO much smarter than Arthur.

-I almost ate a green potato chip once.

-You're lucky to be alive.

-Green chips are poison, and there's no cure.

-I know. After you eat one

it's only a matter of time.

I can't believe you ate a green chip. There are so many others to choose from.

-It was pretty.

-Your shoes are pretty but you don't eat THEM.

They're not salty and crunchy.

-I was SURE DW would go screaming to Mom.

-She probably didn't believe us.

-Or maybe she didn't eat it.

-Yeah. I guess Pal ate it.

-You'd better tell your mom.

-I can't, she told me not to do it.

If these are my last days of life, I don't want Mommy mad at me.

Hey! Maybe Arthur was fooling. Are the green ones REALLY poison?

-I don't know anything you don't know.

-Right. Gotta ask someone who'd know.

Hi, DW. That big kid's trying to swing up over the bar.

-He's cool.

-Yeah, right.

-What do you guys know about green potato chips?

-The poison ones?

-Arthur's sister, what's that about green potato chips?

-They're poison.

Wha-at?!

-I ate a green one two days ago!

-You have even less time left than I do.

Hey, who are you pushing?! ..Oh.

-That's how you wanna spend the last moments of your life? Swinging?

-No.

I'm trying to ride up over the bar.

But your life is almost over. Soon this will be you.

That's what Dad looks like when he sleeps.

Big head kid, this is like a tragedy. You've heard of death?

From now on, I'll act like every day's my last day, cos it might be.

Serious, huh?

-How much string is that?

-Five rolls.

-Can't see it. SURE it's up there?

-Something's holding the string up.

Oh, yeah, then we did it.

This has to be the highest any kite ever flew.

There's lots of things I wanna do.

THEY LAUGH

-Boy...

-It's amazing what you can do in one day, if you try real hard.

TV: # Magic Christmas! Magic Christmas! It's a bright... #

DW, you're watching Christmas videos in May?!

I wanna make sure I get to see 'em.

You're lucky you don't have a sister, Pal. They're all goofy.

I listed my 3 biggest goals in life. Help me figure out how to do 'em.

Binky, read us your homework essay.

I started to do my homework, then I got to thinking, "What's the point?

"Will doing all this homework really help me?"

These are some of the careers you can have when you grow up.

What's a career I can succeed in, say, by my next birthday?

Don't wanna spend the rest of my life watching the Tibbles eat paste.

I didn't eat any paste. Me neither.

So, Mr Ratburn says you refuse to do homework any more, Binky.

Mr Haney, sir, every minute of life is a precious gift.

We live in a world full of beauty. Should we fritter away our lives

and allow the wonders of this amazing gift to just pass us by?

Come with me, young man.

Mr Ratburn, this boy has the soul of a poet,

and I, for one, do not appreciate you trying to crush his natural talents.

Binky? Binky Barnes?!

This budding Walt Whitman's inspired me to follow my lifelong dream.

To climb Mount Everest. I won't be "a life fritterer-awayer". Thank you!

See you, Herb!

I realise these are your life's goals,

but you just can't take a bite out of the sun. It's hotter than pizza.

-You'd melt.

-Rats!

And you can't drink a whole ocean. Saltwater would make you sick.

That only leaves me one goal.

There's something very strange going on.

DW used this game and put everything back.

-And she kissed me goodnight.

-Eerie.

Not as eerie as this.

An invitation to a ballet recital...

ALL: Starring Binky Barnes?!

-D'you think it's...?

-Don't say, "space aliens".

-Hey, look!

-You ever really looked at a leaf?

-I did it yesterday for 5 hours.

Nature sure is amazing!

I wanted to personally invite you to my ballet recital,

-because you inspired me to follow my dream.

-DW inspiring Binky?

-Arthur, I'm afraid.

-This is just weird.

This is what I'm wearing to the big head kid's recital today.

-Very nice, DW.

-I may never get another chance to wear it.

Arthur! NO-O-O!

Hey! Mom! DW swiped my chip.

I saved his life. It was GREEN.

-The green ones are poison!

-..They're NOT poison.

-That's just what everyone says for fun.

-They're NOT poison?

You DID eat my big green chip! And you thought you were poisoned.

That's why you were acting so weird. So...

-Nice!

-I told you you should've told your mom right away.

-You did NOT!

PIANO PLAYS SOFTLY

-This IS for real.

-He's really doing it.

Oh... You should watch from the audience. It'll look better.

-I have something to tell you about green potato chips.

-..Huh?!

-Why aren't you on stage?

-I'm done. It was a big joke.

Didn't you get it? I mean, me, ballet?

-Too bad. You were the best part.

-Really?

-YEAH.

Excuse me. I have to catch a swan.

CHEERS AND WHOOPS

I'm glad this all worked out.

-But, remember, DW, you don't have to worry alone.

-I know. Nadine told me.

Hey! Arthur's sister!

If not for you, I never would've done this. I liked it. Thanks.

Don't thank me, big head kid, thank green potato chips!

-My name is Binky.

-Mine's DW.

Next, I'm gonna make up my own ballet, Robotman In The Junkyard!

-I will never figure out how those two became friends.

-(Space aliens.)

Hey! Don't blame us!

We're just ballet fans!

You bit the sandwich, then saw half a worm in the part you hadn't eaten?

-Uh-huh.

-And then what did you do?

-ALL: SPIT IT OUT! Go to the emergency room.

-Deworm!

Ate the rest?

Ohhh, that's gross!

Boys sure do the most embarrassing things. Let's watch a re-enactment.

Weird. We hate being embarrassed, but it's OK if it's someone else.

-Sort of.

-If I were him, I'd wear a bag over my head for life.

How can he tell everybody he did that...on TV?!

I wonder what kind of sandwich it was.

TURN IT OFF! There's 10 embarrassing minutes left!

-Arthur!

-Shhh!

You Do The Most Embarrassing Things is doing a live show at Wonderworld.

-We wrote in for tickets.

-Can I come? Never seen TV before it's TV before.

Come on! Whenever I take you to something, you act like such a kid!

-..And it's SO embarrassing!

-Uh-uh. Name just one time.

Hmm...

DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYS

SLURPING

Shh! DW, just watch the movie!

Hmm!

..Hey! DW, no!

Uh...sorry, sir.

That was last winter. I was a little kid. Name something not so long ago.

You thought you were gonna die from eating a green potato chip.

-You promised you wouldn't talk about that any more.

-Don't tease DW.

I don't do embarrassing kid's stuff any more. If I prove it, can I go?

Yeah, sure. But I know there's no way you can prove that.

Just watch me.

SQUEAKING

Well, DW, you're failing so far.

That's what YOU think! (Thin, kinda fat, very thin, medium...)

Wow! That's DEFINITELY not for little kids!

Getting that doesn't prove you're grown-up. You can't read it.

-Mom and Dad can read it to me at bedtime. I like the topic.

-Which is?

-Macro economics.

-..I love that.

What is it again?

-Mint chocolate chip, please.

-I want Rocky Road with extra cookie pieces.

-..I mean... I want something vegetarian.

-OK, sweetie.

I heard the cutest thing about you, DW. Hope you're feeling better now.

-Do adults always say weird things to you when you become grown-up?

-Um...

-Only when you're trying to act like something that you're not.

-DW!

Hope you're feeling better now.

-Take care of yourself. Wouldn't wanna lose you.

-They're doing it again.

-What's...?

-"Ooh, I ate a green potato chip"(!)

I'm dying! I'm dying!

Better take care of yourself, DW. We wouldn't wanna lose you.

THEY LAUGH

..You! YOU did this!

-What?

-You told them about the potato chip, so they'd think I was a baby,

-and you wouldn't have to take me to the TV show.

-I didn't!

Then...you told your friends and THEY told everybody, and...

No way! Go ask 'em and see. They don't even know about it.

Oh, hi, DW, would you like a chip?

We threw out all the POISON ones.

I SWEAR I didn't tell them.

I'm gonna get proof and tell Mom and Dad, then you'll have to take me!

TV: 'The Bionic Bunny Show!'

Hmm, suspicious. They're using the TV to drown out their voices.

-'Hello, DW!'

-VERY suspicious!

THEY MAKE PLANE NOISES

Hello, DW.

Very, VERY suspicious!

Very, very, VERY suspicious!

Their faces are turned away, so I can't read their lips. Wait...

-He-llo, D-W.

-I need more sophisticated-ed equipment.

-(I need a number for the nearest lie detector store.)

-DW! You're famous!

Look, you're in Buster's mom's "Let A Smile Be Your Umbrella" column.

I can't read. What's it say?

"A story that's put a smile on my face for the past few days

"involves a little girl who thought that green potato chips were fatal.

"5-year-old Dora Winifred Reid eagerly gobbled up a chip one day,

"to be informed by brother Arthur that green chips were deadly."

President DW, in your past term, you ended poverty and war

-and outlawed older brothers who break their promises.

-Hooray!

But, Miss President, I have one question. Like a potato chip?

ALL LAUGH

You've gotta help me stop this or I'll never live it down.

But, DW, I have things to do.

'I won't help you.'

'OK, I'll help you.'

OK, DW, I'll help you.

That was the last trip, right?

PLEASE say that was the last trip.

Hey!

-Hey, what're you doing?!

-We got a bunch of calls for a redelivery.

I guess some dog ate everybody's paper.

It's hopeless! I can never show my face again!

You won't even admit you did it!

Like the times you stole my Crazy Bus CD and my snowball.

-You KNOW Mom and Dad took that CD!

-So you admit you took my snowball.

..green chip was going to kill her. It was just so funny.

You know how dramatic DW is. Wouldn't be surprised if she drew up a will.

When Bitzy asked if she could put it in her column, I couldn't say no.

I've cleaned out nearly every newsstand.

Of course I'm sending it to all the relatives! Grandma Thora, Lucy,

Aunt Jessica, Cousin Hortense, Hortense's step-brother Tyler,

-Jim, Daniel, Nicky, Michelle...

-MOM!

-What, honey?

-It's you. YOU told everybody about the green chip.

My own mom is trying to ruin me.

Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't realise it embarrassed you.

-If you don't want me to, I'll never repeat that story again.

-Promise?

-Mm.

Sorry I blamed you. I'm miserable. Everybody's laughing at me.

-Would it make you feel better to come to the show?

-Well, I guess...

That worked out happily. Arthur, take these to the recycling centre.

Awww!

-DW! You said you wouldn't embarrass me.

-I have to lay low till college.

You know, it's not that big a deal.

-Everybody's mom embarrasses them.

-Mom called me Booboo at home.

Then once she said it at school and everybody teased me about it.

-Then they forgot.

-Hi, Booboo!

-Oh.

'Yes, it's true. She thought green potato chips were fatal.'

D'you hear that? Tell me I'm dreaming! What am I gonna do?

Run away! Join the circus.

My mom knows a good plastic surgeon.

-So, please, don't mention it to her.

-You promised!

-DW, wait!

WAIT!

SHE SOBS

-Are you OK, sir?

-..Oh, Binky!

DW! Wow! I thought you were a real football player in a dress!

Binky, you're the only one who's been as close to death as me.

-What d'you do if someone does something you don't like?

-Stare,

-and then they stop doing whatever they're doing.

-DW!

Oh, DW, I'm sorry.

-You think cos I'm a kid you don't need to keep a promise to me.

-No.

-Mrs MacGrady asked about the article.

-Someone asks and the promise is off?

-I don't think that's how it works.

-No, you're right. But people'll ask.

-Can we figure out something that won't embarrass you?

-The paper lied?

I could say I can't discuss it cos I wanna respect my daughter's feelings.

Hmm... OK. At least now I can relax and enjoy the show.

Welcome, folks, to You Do The Most Embarrassing Things!

First, a kid who ate a green potato chip and thought it was deadly.

Binky Barnes!

I thought I was gonna die!

And now the members of the Boy Ballet will dance a re-enactment

of Binky's embarrassing experience

in their new ballet, Don't Eat The Green Ones!

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

-# And get along with each other

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey!

-# What a wonderful kind of day

-Hey! #