Binky Barnes, Wingman/To Beat or Not to Beat Arthur


Binky Barnes, Wingman/To Beat or Not to Beat

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# Every day when you're walking down the street

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# Everybody that you meet

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# Has an original point of view

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-# And I say hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other

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# You've got to listen to your heart

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# Listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street

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# Open your eyes, open your ears

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# Get together and make things better by working together

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# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

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# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

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-# And I say hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

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-# If we can learn to work and play And get along with each other...

-Hey!

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-# A wonderful kind of day...

-Hey!

-A wonderful kind of day...

-Hey!

-#

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'Hey! DW!'

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-Hey!

-Whoa!

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-Everyone's got a favourite pastime. Reading is mine.

-Hey, your delivery.

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But sometimes your favourite things can get out of hand.

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-'Like Buster and his snacks.'

-Wow! The ultimate chocolate sundae!

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-MOANING

-Wow... The ultimate chocolate sundae... Oh!

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-'Or like the Brain and science.'

-DOOR OPENS

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I can't go to bed now. I'm on the verge of discovering a new galaxy.

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Or like Binky and... Hey, do you even have a favourite thing?

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I don't know. Ow!

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It's coming, it's coming! HORN BLARES

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It's here!

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Giant bugs in school must mean...

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-Radiation leakage in the cafeteria?

-No.

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It's Bug Week, Elwood City's annual festival of six-legged things

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that crawl, sting, bite and make life oh, so pleasant.

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Each of you will make a presentation

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on the bug of your choice.

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Any questions? Good.

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It's getting hot in here.

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Then, when the spider, played by me, has the helpless fly

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-wrapped up in silk, it sinks its huge fangs into it and...

-Yuck!

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I don't want to hear this.

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Me neither. I'm playing the fly.

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Watch out for me. I'm gonna be a honey bee, and they pack a sting.

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Sorry, I'm doing bees. Queen bees.

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-Oh, OK. I'll be a termite and bring down the house.

-I'm doing termites.

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Those things with a gazillion legs?

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-Centipede?

-The other one.

-Millipede?

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-Yeah.

-Sorry, that's my project.

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Oh, man! All the good bugs are taken.

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And here the honey bee workers feed royal jelly to the future queen bees.

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And what would royal jelly be without royal peanut butter? EVERYONE GROANS

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Just what I'd expect from a class full of drones.

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Now the stink bugs

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will demonstrate... their most unusual method of defence.

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Euch! Ugh! Phew!

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Did you bring clothes-pins for everybody?

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Er... Well...no.

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In an orderly fashion, please! Single file!

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Is that your Bug Week project?

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Yes. I'm showing how the praying mantis inspired a fighting style.

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-Want a demonstration?

-No, I believe you.

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-You have a bug for your report?

-No.

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I wanted fleas, but Molly has 'em.

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Butterflies? Nobody's picked them.

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Butterflies? They're for girls.

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-Just trying to help.

-Some help!

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Giving me a girl's bug...

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Man, look at all the neat colours!

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Butterflies come from creepy-looking worms. Cool!

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Gotcha!

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Huh?

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Wow! Ungh!

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- They prefer your lunchmeat to mine. - Because mine is pate de foie gras.

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Is it Hallowe'en already?

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Big...blue...butterfly. Which way did he go?

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Binky Barnes - chasing butterflies?

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Tell me!

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No, you can't get away from me!

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Binky, are you up there?

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-I found some bugs good for boys.

-He's not here.

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-He's out hunting.

-Hunting?

-Yeah, butterflies. He's butterfly crazy.

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-He wants to collect every one he sees.

-Especially a big, blue one.

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He's been chasing it for days.

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It knows I can't leave school. It's mocking me.

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Now that we know the eating habits of termites,

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-let's meet a real colony.

-I don't see anything.

-They're inside.

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TAP-TAP-TAP

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Can you...wrap it up, Buster?

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Any second now. Really. I think I hear 'em coming.

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Oh!

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Then...whack! A great big hand came down and squashed me.

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So ended my life as a blood-sucking mosquito. ALL CHEER

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RING Not all homework is this much fun.

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Fun? Who has time for fun? My prize catch is still out there.

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-Binky, are you in there?

-Close the flap, quick! Don't let 'em out.

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Neat collection, huh?

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Monarchs, swallowtails, viceroys. I got 'em all.

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I've never had a real cool hobby before, and I owe it all to you.

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Binky, those butterflies can't last in here. They'll die.

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-Relax. It's only for one more day.

-Good.

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-You'll set them free after your project?

-No way.

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I'm gonna move 'em into a bigger tent. Well, back to the hunt.

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My collection is nothing without him. He's clever.

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He'll make a mistake. I'll be ready.

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Binky, stop! You're hunting that poor butterfly

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-like Captain Ahab hunted Moby Dick.

-You don't expect me to read that?

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I'm nothing like Captain Ahab. Moby Dick was a fish.

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A whale. I mean, you're going too far.

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I'm not. I've worked hard to catch the blue butterfly. He's mine! MINE!

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Well, see ya.

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What have I created?

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- 553, 554... - He even looks like Captain Ahab.

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What are we gonna do about Binky?

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How am I ever going to prove that millipedes don't have 1,000 legs

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if you keep interrupting me? Aw!

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One, two, three...

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-What happened?

-Buster got mad.

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He was tired of being a free meal.

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Arthur, did you talk to Binky?

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He's too busy chasing a butterfly.

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-Like Captain Ahab...

-And Moby Dick.

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Isn't it possible you two are overreacting?

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Thar she goes!

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PANTING

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-Blue...butterfly... Seen it?

-That?

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Don't kid around! That's just a moth.

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Sue Ellen, I got it!

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-I got Big Blue.

-It's so pretty.

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I'll say. Me and Big Blue are going to the museum.

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The museum? Why?

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-I'm gonna offer my collection to them so everyone can enjoy it.

-Wait!

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I bet they've got a real cool place for their butterflies to live.

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Agh!

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-They're not moving.

-Haven't you seen a real collection before?

-No.

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NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!

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Don't look at me like that.

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If I let you go, I'll fail.

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I worked really hard on this.

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When it's ready to eat the helpless fly,

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the spider moves in, fangs ready to bite...

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Oh, how cute!

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Thanks a lot(!) I was supposed to have the most frightening report.

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You're the last to go, Binky. You do have a project, don't you?

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Sure I do, but... can I do it outside?

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I wanted everyone to enjoy my butterfly collection.

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This is the best way to see it.

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ALL GASP

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I didn't think you'd let them go.

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Very impressive work.

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I look forward to the written report.

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Aw, I knew I forgot something.

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Francine Frensky can do a lot of things well. She can hit

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further than anyone I know.

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-She can argue about anything better than anyone I know.

-If I were wrong,

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-I'd admit I'm wrong, but I'm never wrong. If you think...

-OK, OK.

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You win. A tomato is not a vegetable, it's a fruit.

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-She wants to do something I don't think she should try.

-Here I go.

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I'm going to fly.

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-You gonna tell her?

-YOU tell her.

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-She could hurt herself.

-I guess so.

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Francine, stop it! You're gonna get hurt. Kids can't fly.

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-They can't?

-No, it's impossible.

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Oh.

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Don't you hate it when you have to burst someone's bubble?

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I know you're all concentrating on Friday's spring talent show,

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so I'm giving you extra homework. Remember what's important.

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ALL GROAN

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I've got new jokes.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!

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-Humorous.

-Francine, what are you doing for the talent show?

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I'm not telling. You'll be surprised.

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-What are you gonna do, Arthur?

-I'm doing tricks with Pal.

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Pal, sit! Good boy.

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Pal, shake your... Er, tail.

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-Good boy.

-Oh, brother!

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We're not ready yet, but Pal's smart.

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-You, Brain?

-I'm a human calculator. The audience shout out math problems,

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-and I'll do them in my head.

-What if Ratburn asks a question?

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I never thought of that.

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A train carrying 1,873 scoops of ice cream leaves Chicago at 7am.

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The freezer's broken. How fast would it have to travel to reach New York

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before half the ice cream melts? The melting rate is 6 scoops per minute.

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Maybe I should juggle. WAILING >

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-What is that?

-It's coming from that direction.

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I saw an ad in the newspaper for an exterminator

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who uses sound to get rid of termites.

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WAILING

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TERMITES SCREAM

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There's a rhythm to that noise.

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-Like an engine.

-It'd have to be one gigantic engine.

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Whatever it is, it's coming from Francine's roof.

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CRASHING OF DRUMS

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FRANCINE WAILS

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Hey, no fair. This was supposed to be a surprise.

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Oh, well, er... We're surprised.

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I didn't want you to hear me until the talent show. What do you think?

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You haven't heard the whole thing.

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-I have to look for errors in the encyclopaedia.

-I gotta wash the dog.

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I, er...have to dry his dog.

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SLURP

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ALL SIGH

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-What do we do?

-Order another shake?

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I mean about Francine. We've got to tell her how awful she sounds.

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-We do?

-She's gonna get booed off.

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It's not nice to tell someone they're awful at what they do.

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-But what if they ARE awful?

-You might hurt her feelings.

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You sure you don't want another?

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We've got to do something. Don't we?

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I have to tell Francine.

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I bet she'll thank me. Who am I kidding? This is Francine.

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What if I hurt her feelings?

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You don't believe in me. I'm a failure!

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SNIFFLE

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ALL: How could you have been so cruel?

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Oh, no! What have I done?

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What if I'm wrong?

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Thanks for telling me how bad it was. I'm so glad I didn't go to the show.

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BANGING DRUMS, WAILING

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-Hey, that sounds like you.

-WAILING

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What a fantastic song! It's breaking all sales records around the world.

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-That could have been me! I could have been famous!

-Heh-heh...

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I guess I was wrong.

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It could happen.

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You were right, Arthur. We've got to convince Francine to quit the show.

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I'm not sure. What if we're wrong?

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Maybe Francine's music could be the next big thing.

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Ask Muffy if she likes it. She always knows what's popular.

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Muffy would never criticise Francine.

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Could Muffy hear the song without knowing it's Francine?

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CRASHING DRUMS, WAILING

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HORRIBLE, TUNELESS RACKET

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RECORDING PLAYS What is that? Turn it off!

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-It's bad, right?

-The worst.

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That's Francine practising.

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Francine's usually a great drummer. How come she sounds so bad?

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-Her bad singing must be affecting her normally good drumming.

-Oh?

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She needn't drop out of the show.

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-We just stop her from singing.

-How do we tell her? It's Francine.

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I'm her best friend. I'll tell her.

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She wouldn't believe me. She said I was jealous.

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You try telling her, Arthur. If two people say it, she'll believe it.

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If three people tell her, she has to believe it.

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Four's a good, strong number.

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How can she not believe four?

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She'll have to believe it when everyone's booing.

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-Poor Francine.

-She's here.

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She thought about it. She knows we're right.

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One of you dropped this in my hall. I've never heard anything so awful.

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-What is it?

-Oh, that? It's... What is that, exactly?

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Well, Francine, its... It's an audio cassette.

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Muffy, what is it? It sounds like an elephant crushing Ratburn's car.

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Um... I... Er...

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It's you, Francine. We recorded you playing the drums and singing.

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Some friends! Why didn't you tell me I was so bad?

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-We ALL told you.

-Oh.

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Yeah, I guess you did.

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Your drumming is great when you're not singing.

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-Singing is just as important to me as drumming.

-You're a good drummer.

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Maybe I'm not ready to do two things at once. ALL AGREE

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I should only do one. I'd better go practise. The talent show's tomorrow.

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I can see all.

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I see into the mind of Mr Ratburn.

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He's thinking about... Yes.

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He's thinking about giving a lot of homework.

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Absolutely supernatural. I don't know how she does it.

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Our next contestant is Francine Frensky.

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I feel better now Francine's going to play drums and not try to sing.

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I hope she knows she should thank us.

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-APPLAUSE

-No drums!

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She got it backwards. I can't look.

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I don't want to hear this.

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RHYTHMICAL DRUMMING ON TAPE

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HESITANT SINGING # You can fly if you try

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SINGING IMPROVES # You can fly if you try... #

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She's good.

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She's REALLY good.

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She's EXCEEDINGLY good.

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I knew she was good all along. You tried to convince me I was wrong.

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# You can do almost anything

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# Even learn how to sing

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# Flap your wings

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# You can fly-y-y-y-y

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# You can fly! #

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I'd have been so embarrassed if you'd let me sing and play drums.

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-Ah, it was nothing.

-You can sing and play drums well.

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How come when you did both at the same time it sounded...different?

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-You mean bad?

-Well, um...

-I guess I need more practice.

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I knew you'd be great. I bet you win, Francine.

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-And the winner is...George!

-George again?

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-He always wins.

-You should have won.

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I'll practise drumming and singing. I'll win.

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Maybe you should sing, play drums AND hop on a pogo stick.

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CRASHING DRUMS, WAILING

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-I guess she sounds a little better. Do you really like it, Muffy?

-Hmm?

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Did you say something?

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Subtitles by John Macdonald, Subtext for BBC Subtitling - 2001

0:23:530:23:58

e-mail us at [email protected]

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