The Last of Mary Moon Cow / Bitzi's Beau Arthur

# Every day you walk down the street Everybody that you meet

# Has an original point of view

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart Listen to the beat

# Listen to the rhythm of the street

# Get together and make things better By working together

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

-# And I say, hey!

-Hey!

-What a wonderful kind of day

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day - hey! What a wonderful kind of day - HEY! #

-Hey, DW!

-Hey...

Uh-uh-uh! 3.30 is MY TV time.

Your time is...

I don't watch Mary Moo Cow on a clock.

-It says 4 o'clock.

-Lucky for me I can't tell the time.

Mom, Arthur changed all the clocks again!

# Mary Moo Cow, Mary Moo Cow

# We love you, Mary Moo... #

There's no fooling DW when it comes to Mary Moo Cow.

Mom! It's 3.30!

Oh, no, it's 3.30!

Oh, you're too slow!

# ..When you're with a milk cow... #

If she couldn't watch this show, she'd go crazy. Well...crazier!

Thank you, boys and girls. That was fun!

-Will you sing it again?

-ALL: Yes!

What are you waiting for? Go to the title card!

HIGH-PITCHED SCREAMING

ALL: DW, what's wrong?

She's coming.

So remember, boys and girls, I'll see you real soon when I visit...

Thursday, the Mill Creek Mall in Elwood, Friday, Petey's Pizzeria.

I can hardly wait. Mo-o-o to yo-o-u!

To you to-o-o!

# Oh, DW, oh, DW, I love you

-# Really, Moo?

-There is no-one smarter

-Try tell that to Arthur... #

Arthur, bleurgh!

# ..I love you

# Toodle-loo! #

I figured it out. I can live in Mary Moo Cow's barn in summer,

then live here for the rest of the year when Arthur's in school.

-You are insane. They won't put you on the show.

-Not "they", "she".

Mary Moo Cow. This one.

-Honey, there are going to be a lot of kids there to see her.

-I know.

That's why we can't tell her I'm related to Arthur.

Do you think Mary Moo Cow has spinach for dinner?

I could eat it once or twice, just to be polite, but not every night.

Well, she's gone!

-That means...

-BOTH: Dark Bunny!

And I know Mary loves babies.

So Kate could visit when Mary and me have our days off. CHILD CRIES

I'm sorry. Mary can't take everybody.

-Oh, my. I'm sorry, honey.

-What?

-What's it say?

-No Mary Moo Cow today, I'm afraid. They cancelled it.

'In the rain-drenched streets of Dark City, where the sun never rises,

'only one person stands between crime and humanity...'

Mary Moo Cow!

Huh?!

Mary couldn't come. OK, the party's over. It's MY turn.

This is an extra-special episode, and do you know why?

ALL: Because it's our last episode!

That's right, boys and girls - L-A-S-T - last. Let's sing it!

-# L-A-S-T, that's our last... #

-BOTH: All right!

-What does that mean?

-Mary Moo Cow is history!

MOM!

# L-A-S-T, that spells "last" No more Mary Moo Cow! #

I'm sorry, DW, but that's what happens to all TV shows eventually.

-They get cancelled.

-You mean it'll never be on again?!

I know it seems awful, but think of the other fun things to do at 3.30.

And you do have a few video tapes.

Mom, Dad!

-You're going to punish Arthur, right?

-Goodnight, DW.

'Think of the other fun things to do at 3.30...'

Come on, we're supposed to have fun.

What's fun about it?

Without Mary Moo Cow, there's only Dark Bunny.

Bleurgh!

Uh-uh-uh! It's still my TV time.

'And welcome to Stock Market Today...'

-Mom!

-It's useless, Arthur.

She said I could keep this time till I recover from my trauma.

Mom!

Come on, DW, this is so boring. Let's go out and play.

Uh-uh. It's not fair.

If I can't have Mary Moo Cow, he can't have Dark Bunny.

# Hey, DW, hey, DW Let's go play, right away... #

I said no, Nadine!

'..When a group of concerned citizens

'obtained 500 signatures on a petition...'

It's a petition. If a lot of us sign it, they'll have to bring her back.

-Why would we want to do that?

-Cos you can sign with finger paint!

Sign a petition to bring back Mary Moo Cow. Only five cents.

-You don't charge to sign a petition.

-Grown-ups think it's more important.

Huh?!

OK. I just need one more signature.

If you sign it, I'll let you watch Dark Bunny.

I couldn't live with myself, knowing I'd brought her back.

Fine!

Mom! I'm ready to mail it!

Mail for Mary Moo Cow.

-Boys and girls, do you know what this is?

-What?!

# A petition, here is a petition Spell petition...

# P-E-T...something, something, something

-# Now we can get out of hear

-DW, you brought us cheer

-# P-E-T...

-Something, something, something

-# P-E-T...

-Something, something, something

# Oh...! #

What's it say?

The person in the cow costume is happy you made a petition -

H-A-P-P-Y.

But the show is STILL cancelled.

So you should let your brother watch Dark Bunny because it's still on TV.

-You're funny.

-"Dear DW,

"Mary Moo Cow is very happy that you circulated a petition on her behalf.

"Can you spell 'happy' "?

Oh, no, he's not right, is he, Mom?

-No matter what the letter says, you should be very proud...

-Read it...

please.

-"..But while Mary cannot make any more shows at this time..."

-Ha!

-No!

-"..She would like to personally thank you

"by inviting you to the studios of Channel 12."

-Hooray! It worked!

-It didn't work. The show is still cancelled.

Just wait until I have a talk with Mary!

Dad, I think you made a wrong turn. This isn't Mary's barn.

No, it's the studio where the show is filmed. The barn is inside.

Oh, that Mary!

Textile up 1.78. Pork products continue to fall. Value Mortgages...

And this is where Mary Moo Cow had her soft-puppet shows.

Have we given you a soft puppet yet?

This is all very nice, ma'am, but I do have a lot to discuss with Mary.

- So if you could take me to her... - I'm afraid she's very busy, DW.

Busy?! But that's the whole reason I came out here!

-DW!

-I already have this stuff!

Arthur was right. You invited me here to tell me it's still cancelled!

Mary! Mary!

DW, come back!

Where are you? M-O-O...

spells Moo!

Mary?

Mary?

I'm sorry. Isn't this...? Oh!

You're not Mary.

You're the boring woman.

Well, I...

You're the little petition girl. Mary likes you very much.

Why have you taken Mary's place?

-Where did you put her?

-I didn't put her anywhere.

Mary just wanted a change. Everyone needs a change, don't they?

No! Maybe... No!

Don't worry, she may turn up again some day.

When she does, you'll know your petition had a lot to do with it.

-Well, goodbye, little girl.

-Mm.

-There you are!

-DW, you don't just burst into dressing rooms!

-That's OK.

-I was very pleased to meet her.

-MARY MOO VOICE:

-GOODBYE!

-I mean, goodbye.

-Come on, DW, it's time to go.

# Oh, DW, I love you, yes, I do... #

Mary.

Electro Systems up a quarter...

Don't worry. I'm not even going to ask.

-Huh?!

-That's OK. You can watch your show.

I'll see Mary...some other time.

Dark Bunny, here I come!

'Dark Bunny has been cancelled, so we can bring you the original episodes

'of every boy and girl's favourite series - the Mary Moo Cow Show.'

Argh!

SCHOOL BELL RINGS

-Hey, Mom. Up high...

-..Down low.

In the middle.

And away we go!

Buster and his mom are really good friends. They go to the movies...

The animation is terrible. The plot is dumb and the songs are awful.

-That's what we said when we first saw it.

-I know.

Once more and I'm sure we'll be cured.

-They do chores together.

-Detergent, sponge, soap, paper towels...

17 minutes and 54 seconds - a new record.

Sometimes, they just go out for lunch together.

But all that might change when Buster meets...

My boyfriend.

HELP! HELP!

Bionic Bunny, where are you?!

Someone's in trouble!

Never fear, Bionic Bunny is here!

Thank goodness! I have the most terrible splinter!

Could you please take it out?

-BOTH: It's a trap!

-I'm in the red zone.

-Me too! She is SUCH an alien!

You're no little girl! You're...

Codo from the Crab Nebula.

Prepare to be neutralised!

BEEP BEEP

Hold on. That's call waiting.

Hello?

-Just a minute. ..Mom, it's for you!

-Thank you, dear.

Yes? ..Well, hello!

Why, thank you!

SHE GIGGLES

You didn't return from call waiting. I was on the phone for 20 minutes.

Sorry, Arthur. My mom took the phone. She's been acting weird.

-How so?

-Well, she smiles all the time.

-And sometimes when she's on the phone, she's all giggly.

-Boyfriend.

My mom does not have a boyfriend!

-Any unexpected deliveries of flowers lately?

-Now you mention it...

When she's doing something, does she stop and then sigh like this...?

Huh! A-a-h!

Well...just once or twice.

I rest my case.

Boyfriend.

-Maybe she does have a boyfriend.

-But who?

Your book reports were all satisfactory,

-with a few exceptions.

-(Great, another F!)

What?!

This can't be mine!

It is!

That's my pizza stain!

I'm telling you, Arthur, it's him!

Mr Ratburn's my mother's boyfriend!

-That's ridiculous!

-Oh, yeah? Well, look at this!

-When was the last time I got an A in his class?

-Well...

He probably gave it to me so I'd like him better.

Oh, this is the end!

I'm doomed!

First, he'll come over to dinner.

SHE GIGGLES

Delightful dinner, my dear.

Well, Buster, only one slice left.

-Guess the number I'm thinking of between 1 and 10 and it's yours.

-7?

No, it was 3.141592675,

also known as pi. Get it - pie!

Pie!

And then they'll get married.

Do you, Nigel Charles Ratburn,

take Bitzulim Baxter, to have and to hold,

for better or for worse, for sickness and in health, from this day forward,

till death do you part?

I do. But I must tell you, sir, that's a run-on sentence.

Try breaking it up with a few periods.

Then they'll have children!

Read to me! Read me a big book!

In French!

Let's play algebra!

Daddy! Buster broke my chemistry set!

Arrgh!

Keep it down! He's coming.

Arthur, you've gotta do something. Tell him my mother's ugly and crazy.

-No!

-Buster, Arthur.

Er, Mr Ratburn, did you know that Buster's mother...

-has giant lizards that she feeds rats to?

-Really? I love lizards.

I had one called Marty, but I never fed him rats.

Fascinating.

Great! Now the house is going to be full of lizards too. Thanks a lot(!)

I couldn't think of anything.

Dinner on Friday sounds great.

Just let me run it by Buster.

Bye!

Please don't marry Mr Ratburn, Mom!

He'll give you homework. He'll make you re-do your pies.

Marry Mr Ratburn?! What are you talking about?

-All those flowers and phone calls - that's him, right?

-That's not him!

-That's Harry Mills.

-It isn't Mr Ratburn? Whoopee!

Would it be all right with you if he had dinner with us on Friday?

Sure! ..Wait a minute. Who's Harry Mills?

All I know is he writes about sports for the newspaper and loves kids.

-He sounds great.

-Yeah - TOO great.

Arthur, what if he's...

one of them.

-What do you mean?

-You know - an alien.

You'll just love what's for dessert -

you!

Codo, my lord, I bring you two fresh Earthlings!

Good work, Horseshoe.

-Buster, he's not an alien.

-Have you got proof?

-I don't need proof.

Well, you're probably right, but it doesn't hurt to be sure!

Is that your final answer?

-It works!

-DING-DONG

< Buster, could you get it? I'm not ready yet.

-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

-Venice.

-Venice who?

Ven-ice you going to invite me in?

Hi, Buster, I'm Harry.

-Woops! Sorry!

-Mmm.

And by the time the batter slid into home, all he had on were his boxers.

HE LAUGHS

-Buster Baxter, where are your manners?

-He's making me laugh!

He's right. I tell funny stories when I'm nervous, and...

Harry, your tie!

Actually, it looks better with crab chowder on it.

That was delicious.

Now, how about dessert?

-I'll get some plates.

-Let me help you.

Phew!

-You do like Boston cream pie, don't you?

-It's my favourite!

Mine too!

Thanks for having me over, Buster. I had a great time.

-Me too.

-I'll tuck you in in a minute.

'Even if he is an alien, he sure is a nice one.'

So what did you think of Harry?

-He's OK.

-You didn't like him, did you?

-We don't have to see him again if you don't want to.

-No, I did like him.

It's just you and I won't hang out as much cos you'll be with Harry.

That won't happen. You'll always be the most important person in my life.

-Promise?

-I promise. ..Up high!

Down low!

Yes!

-Did you see that, Harry?

-Ahem!

->

I just wanted to let you know that you shouldn't feed lizards rats -

it makes them sluggish.

-What's he talking about?

-Who knows? Maybe he's...

BOTH: ..One of them!

WHIRRING

Yep! Definitely an alien!

# And I say, hey!

# What a wonderful kind of day We can learn to work and play

# And get along with each other

# You gotta listen to your heart

# Listen to the beat Listen to the rhythm of the street

# It's a simple message And it comes from the heart

# Believe in yourself For that's the place to start

# We can learn to work and play And get along with each other

# What a wonderful kind of day HEY! #