No Joke Bear Behaving Badly


No Joke

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Doo, doo, doo, doo...

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Right, now, it's nine-all, all right?

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First one to 11.

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-No problemo!

-OK.

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You sure these trick shots are allowed?

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Yeah-yeah!

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-Oh...

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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I nearly had that one as well!

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Right, come on, then. It's match point to you.

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DRUM ROLL

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Well, where did that go?

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HE MUTTERS TO HIMSELF

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Oh! FINALLY you're here!

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-Oh! Nice to see you too, Mr Prank!

-I've been waiting for that parcel.

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-It's very urgent.

-Let me brighten your day!

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There you go.

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-PARP!

-Ew, was that you?!

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-No, it most certainly wasn't!

-Well, it wasn't ME!

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-It was the parcel.

-Yeah, of course it is(!)

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It's Bouncer Boy's birthday today, this is his present.

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-He's been waiting patiently.

-Oh.

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Look, nephew! It's arrived!

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Your uncle DOES love you! PARP!

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It's the super-deluxe practical joke kit from Mr Wonky's joke shop!

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-Just like you asked for!

-It better be!

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-PARP!

-Ew!

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What the...?

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Hello?

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Oh, no!

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I don't know how you do it, Nev, but you've beaten me again.

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Groovy!

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Again! Again, again, again!

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Not right now, Nev, I've got to go to work, mate.

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When I get back, we'll have a re-match.

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Boring!

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-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Come in! It's open!

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THEY SNIGGER

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Hello, Mr Angry Pants!

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-Hello, Mr Barney, sir! Looking well today!

-Hello, Mr Prank.

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I thought I'd bring the birthday boy round to see you.

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All right, worms?

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Happy birthday, Bouncer Boy.

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Nappy burp-day, Bouncer Belly!

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-BUZZ!

-Ow!

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Shocker! Good, innit?

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-Really funny(!)

-He's full of tricks today!

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He got this practical joke kit as a present from his favourite uncle.

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Me! Anyway, he thought he might play with Neville today,

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-just while you're at work.

-No, no, no, no!

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Oh, Nev normally would love to but today he's busy, aren't you?

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-Reorganising his sock collection.

-Socks!

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But it's my birthday!

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I won't have anyone to play with on my birthday!

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BANDIT MIAOWS

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OK, Bouncer Belly.

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Yeah, you could organise your stuff tomorrow, couldn't you?

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That means, Bouncer Boy, you can stay and play.

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That's wonderful. Well, have fun, nephew, I'm going to head home

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and sort out your feast for later.

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BANDIT MIAOWS

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Thanks very much, Barney. Here...have a sweet.

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Oh, don't mind if I do.

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Thank you. OK, Nev, you have a lovely day.

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-Blue.

-You ARE blue. Well done, mate.

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-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too, mate.

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And Bouncer Boy...play nice!

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Oh, don't worry. We'll have a great time!

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I can't believe that LOSER ate Mr Wonky's smelly fart sweets!

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-Hi, Beatrice.

-Hi, did you know your mouth's...?

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-PARP!

-Oh! I'm...sorry...

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-PARP!

-Oh! Right!

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Well, I, erm...

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I...better be going. Yeah. Mm-hm.

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-PARP!

-Oh!

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PARP!

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PARP!

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PARP-PARP-PARP!

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They're cool, aren't they? You can see for miles in 'em!

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I can't believe you fell for the black-eye binoculars trick!

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HE SCREAMS

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All right, joke's over.

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What d'you wanna do now, Bear?

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Pong-ping!

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-Pong-ping!

-Ah, table tennis.

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Right, Bear...I'll serve.

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Okeldey-dokeldey!

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Ready or not...here it comes.

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Agh!

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Agh! My finger!

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My finger's fallen...

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off!

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HE SCREAMS

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Got you again, with the old fake finger trick!

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Can't scare me!

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Yeah, you SO fell for that!

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BANDIT GROWLS

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SCRITCH-SCRITCH!

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All right, Bear?

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-Itchy!

-You're feeling a little...itchy?

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Itchy!

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-Itchy, itchy! Itchy!

-Itching powder!

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Classic!

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Itchy! Itchy!

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All right, look, I'm sorry.

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No more tricks. I promise.

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Here...

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..have a sweet.

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No-no-no-no-no!

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Have a sweet!

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Eat a sweet...now!

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Can't make me!

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You... It's my birthday, you have to do what I say!

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-No way, Jose!

-Eat...a...sweet!

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Argh!

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Ouch! That wasn't funny!

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Bear! Where are you, Bear?

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It's not fair! You're being mean to me on my birthday!

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Uncle! Uncle!

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Oh! Oh ! Ah!

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-All better now, Nevvy?

-More, more!

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Will do! Oh, whackadoo! That Bouncer Boy's a real piece of work,

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-covering you in itching powder like that!

-I know, I know.

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Still, least you managed to get rid of your black eyes.

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-You looked like a panda!

-Too right, bro!

-How's that?

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-OK! Love you, Keith!

-No worries, buddy!

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So, what are you going to do next?

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-Get your own back on Bouncer Boy, I hope!

-Fwightened...

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Don't worry! I'm an expert in the ancient art of practical joking.

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I'm a joke ninja. Hey! I could train you up! What do you say?

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-Hm...

-Eh?

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Do it, Nev! It's time Bouncer Boy got a taste

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of his own tricky medicine!

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Yeah! Teach Bouncer Boy a lesson!

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Wait! You're Good Duck, I'm Bad!

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I'm itchy! That bully should pay!

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Too right! Let the training begin!

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'So, d'you wanna begin training

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-'in the sacred art of practical jokes?'

-Yeah-yeah!

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Very well, my young apprentice...

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Let the training begin.

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-Do-o-o-o-o...

-Do-ee-o-ee-o...

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GONG CRASHES

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Now. Watch closely, Nevvy.

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Whackadoo!

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-Now you try, my little blue apprentice.

-Yeah-yeah!

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Do-o-o-o...

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99...

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100...

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HE SCREAMS

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Ha-ha! Always be ready for surprises, Nevvy! Ha-ha!

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999...

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99...

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Ha!

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Good work, Nevvy!

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Behind you!

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What?

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-Aggghhhh!

-Surprise!

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Doo, doo, doo Doo, doo, doo, doo, doo...

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Ah, well done, Nevvy!

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Always be on the lookout for whoopee cushions!

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PARP!

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You beauty!

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Now, focus, my little blue apprentice, focus!

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Whoo-hoo!

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Whoo-hoo! Whoopee!

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Bonzer, mate!

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Unc! Uncle! It's my birthday and Bandit and I

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demand that you let us in!

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-Can you hear me?

-Calm down, Bouncer Boy, yes!

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I can hear you! I'll be with you in a minute!

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-< Uncle!

-Just gotta ice your birthday cake.

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Grrr! Uncle! Let us in NOW!

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-All right!

-Let us in!

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Just take your time...

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What's the matter with this, then?

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Uncle!

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It's not fair!

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The Bear's being horrible to me on MY birthday!

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I knew it'd have something to do with that blue...bear!

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BANDIT MIAOWS

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Do you mind terribly, Bandit?

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Your training has been long and difficult,

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my little blue apprentice, but you have learnt well.

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Come forward, Nev. Little blue bear and practical joke ninja.

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-Do-o-o-o-o...

-Do-ee-oo-ee, dong-dee-dee,

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dong-ee-o, ee-o...

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MICE SQUEAK

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Oo-ya!

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Ooo-oo-oo-oo-ya!

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Ya! Nya! Ah...

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Here is my special case of practical jokes, Nev.

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-Use it wisely.

-Groovy!

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Now, go upstairs and show Bouncer Boy

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what a real practical joker looks like.

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Aye-aye, captain!

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HE SNIFFS

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So proud.

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HE SNARLS

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Wargh!

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Aieee!

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Where is he? The little blue monster?

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Come here, Bear!

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Bear? There you are!

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You little blue bully!

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-Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

-Don't you "hello" me!

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How dare you be mean to poor Bouncer Boy on his birthday?

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Can't blame me!

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Barney said you had to play with him, not be horrible to him!

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Sorry, Bouncer Belly!

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You don't impress me, with your fancy pyjamas!

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Now, are you gonna behave yourself and be nice to Bouncer Boy?

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Yeah-yeah!

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HE SNEEZES

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Then show me how.

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Hm...

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HE TOOTS

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-Nappy burp-day, Bouncy Belly!

-Cake! That's more like it!

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It certainly is! Well done, Bear!

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But I'll be watching you...

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HE SNEEZES

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Now, don't eat too much, Bouncer Boy.

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I've put a lot of effort into your PROPER birthday feast myself.

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BANDIT HISSES AND SPITS

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Easy, Bandit! There'll be plenty of cake for you later.

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Party food, Bear, chop-chop! We're starving!

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No problemo!

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HE GIGGLES TO HIMSELF

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Gently now, Nevvy, take it easy.

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Remember your training. Remember your training! Attaboy!

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-Lovely!

-Go on!

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You beauty!

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And don't think you're getting any of this, Bear!

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All this food is for me and Bandit!

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Aye-aye, captain!

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Right. Some nuts first, I think.

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Agghhh!

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Oh, ha-ha! Exploding joke nuts!

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Trying to get your own back, are you, Bear?

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Well, you didn't scare me!

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-Scaredy-pants!

-I'm not!

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Ha-ha! What a beauty, Nev!

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Right, Bear, fun's over. Is this cake real?

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-Too right, bro.

-Well, let's just see, then, shall we?

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Eat that, Bear!

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No problemo!

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-Ow!

-Yum-yum!

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Must be OK...

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Right! Out of the way, Bear!

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Smile, please!

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Oh, a picture!

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Say, "cake".

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Cake!

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-Ohhh!

-Smile, please!

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Come here!

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Run!

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh, whackadoo! After this, Nev could teach ME a trick or two!

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-NEV BLOWS RASPBERRY

-Na-na na-na-naa!

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You're for it now, Bear!

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Oh! Agh! Stop it, stop it!

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It's not fair!

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Stop it! Jokes are only funny when I do them!

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Not you, you little...

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HE GIBBERS AND WHINES

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Groovy!

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Uh-oh!

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No more bloonies!

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I got you now, you little blue menace!

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Oh! Fwightened!

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So you should be! I'm gonna let Bandit bite off your OTHER ear!

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Oh! Oh!

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Hm. Spider.

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Spider? What spider? Like I'm gonna fall for that one!

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HE SCREAMS

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Unc! Nev's being mean to me!

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Never mind that!

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-PARP!

-Ugh!

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Those blue sweets you left in my flat, they're not normal, are they?

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No, uncle, they turn your mouth blue

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and you parp a bit.

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PARP! And what if you eat MORE than one?

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Well...how many have you had?

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Hold your hand out.

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Oh... Oh, dear.

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PARP! Oh dear, oh dear.

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-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

-You, sit down, I'll deal with you later.

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PARP!

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I need the bathroom. PARP! PARP!

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Oh, oh, oh!

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PARP!

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Mundo problemo!

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Quiet, Bear! This is all your fault!

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PARP!

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Oh!

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Ha, ha, ha, a whoopee cushion! Very funny!

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BANDIT MIAOWS

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BANDIT WHISPERS

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Unc, don't use the loo!

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I installed an exploding toilet...

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BOOM!

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Oh! Oh!

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..seat!

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Oops!

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HE MUTTERS

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Uh-oh!

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-<

-Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry!

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Wait till your mother hears!

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-PARP!

-Hello, Mr Prank, Bouncer Boy.

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Mr Barney, sir...

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-PARP!

-What happened there?

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Hey, Nev! You'll never guess what I just saw!

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-Barney!

-G'day, Barney! You're just in time for the party!

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Party! Party!

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-What party?

-Bouncer Belly.

-Really? Well, I've just seen him leave.

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Oh yeah. He can't come. He's in b-i-i-i-g trouble.

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Too right, bro!

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Old Angry Pants was actually throwing all his party food out.

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But we intercepted it!

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Throwing away good food? What a waste.

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-Don't worry, we rescued every last crumb.

-Yum-yum!

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I don't suppose you'll tell me what actually happened?

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No-no-no-no!

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I thought so. To birthdays!

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Oh! You two! Very funny!

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THEY LAUGH

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I can't believe you...

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It's all over my jeans!

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Look at the state of them! Don't laugh!

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Well, that was certainly an eventful day, eh, Nev?

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-Aye-aye, captain.

-Wasn't Bouncer Boy's feast fantastic?

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-Yeah-yeah!

-I'm sure he'd have enjoyed it if he'd been there.

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Strange, but I'm still a bit peckish.

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I don't normally like eating in bed, but...just this once.

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No-no-no-no-no! Barney! Trick!

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-What?

-Trick!

-They're just nuts, look.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Nearly there. Hang on a sec.

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-What's the matter? You like nuts.

-Never mind!

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There we go.

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Ooh, lovely. Do you want one?

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-Oh, Barney! Nuts, please!

-Ready? One, two, three...

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-Again!

-Open wider.

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Nearly! Here, have them.

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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