Hero to Zero Bear Behaving Badly

Plank, get up now! Got work to do.

HORN HONKS

Barney, time to do some proper work for a change!

CRASHING

SHE PLAYS "Reveille"

Beatrice!

Out of bed and into the kitchen, ready to bake a cake!

FEEDBACK FROM LOUD-HAILER Uncle Rupert is coming for tea.

Up, up, up!

Ow! What's the big rush? He's coming to TEA!

I want this entire house spick, span and ready for his inspection.

Uncle Rupert's going to inspect my flat?

What about my ice...

My mice?

Mice?! Get yourself a proper cat, then.

HE MUTTERS, CAT MEOWS

Oh, stop wittering, man, and start tidying!

Caretaker, caretaker, couldn't-care-less-taker.

And you can stop that too, Plank!

No more jam-splatteroo tournaments today, Nev.

HE GIGGLES

Oi, I'm serious! Uncle Rupert's starting to attract flies.

# Wackadoo! #

Ner-ner, ner-ner-ner.

Splateroo!

-Can't splat me!

-Fire!

-Ner-ner, ner-ner-ner.

-Go!

Whee! Ha-ha! Missed me, missed me!

And you can tell Crazy Keith, too.

-Ah, g'day, Barnster. Hey, Nevvy.

-Crazy Keith!

-We were just talking about you.

-A lot of people do! Ha-ha!

Hey, Barney, you look as tense as a hippo's underpants.

NEV CHUCKLES

That's cos Rupert's coming to inspect the flat.

-You've got to keep it clean.

-Ah, he can count on us.

-Can't he?

-Aye-aye, Captain.

-Besides, the jam splateroo's on the blink.

-Well, that's a relief.

-Check this beauty out!

What's that?

A superhero mean machine.

This may be a silly question, but what does it do?

It turns you into a superhero. It's a present from Doris.

Perhaps today isn't the best day to turn into a superhero.

No! No, don't touch that, Nevvy!

Nevvy! MACHINE HONKS

No!

ELECTRICAL CRACKLING

Nev...look at the size of your ears!

Don't tell me - you've turned into...

-Super Nev!

-Yeah! I bet you can hear for miles with those beauties.

-What can you hear?

-CRACKLING AND BEEPING

Barbara!

# Do-de-do, la-la-la. #

You can hear Aunt Barbara in the shower, singing?

-Well impressive! What have you come as?

-I am Keith Lightning,

the fastest marsupial on the planet. Go, Keith Lightning!

-Zoom!

-Where did he go?

The weather's bonzer...in Hawaii!

-NEV CHUCKLES

-Again! Again!

Hawaii? Wow! Seriously though, any chance

you could change back to normal till Uncle Rupert's gone?

No can do, Barnster. Check out the dial.

We're heroes till zero.

Too right, bro.

-KNOCK AT DOOR

-Barney! >

It's Barbara. Clean up and find a super hiding place, now!

-Hey, Aunt Barbara. What a surprise.

-Barney, young man, I want a word.

# The ice cream I'll make the... #

Oh. Hello, Mr Barney, sir. Miss Barbara, sir. Er, ma'am.

What are you up to, Plank?

Oh, nothing. I was just tidying up me ice...

Me LICE, for Uncle Rupert's inspection.

Lice?! Ooh, that man lives in squalor!

-Now, Barney, is your flat tidy?

-Absolutely, Aunt Barbara.

I don't believe you. Out of my way.

KEITH AND NEV SNIGGER

THEY CHUCKLE

Oh!

THEY GASP

It'll do, I suppose. Just make sure it stays like this.

Of course I will, Aunt Barbara. Yeah.

Well, that was hairy!

Hairier than a dingo's chest wig!

Right, I'm back at 4pm with Uncle Rupert for tea.

Any superhero activity that messes up the flat is a no-no, OK?

-Don't worry. We give you a superhero promise.

-Aye-aye, Captain. Love you.

Love you too, Nev. Bye, Keith.

Superhero promise, yeah?

-Yeah.

-Yeah-yeah.

Please don't let me down, fellas.

Barney? Are you OK?

Oh, Beatrice. Er...hi. Can you do me a favour?

-Make sure Mr Prank and Aunt Barbara don't go in the flat today?

-Sure.

-Er...why?

-You'll only laugh if I tell you.

Try me.

OK. Nev and Crazy Keith have turned into superheroes.

SHE CHORTLES

-I knew you wouldn't believe me!

-Course I do.

-It's just until Uncle Rupert gets here. Cheers, Bea.

-Superheroes!

KEITH GROANS

There's nothing on the box!

Boring!

And we've eaten all the popcorn in super-fast time.

Feel icky.

Superheroes don't watch telly and eat popcorn.

-They save the world. And stuff.

-Too right, bro.

Surely we can be superheroes without messing up the flat.

-Easy-peasy!

-Let's have a superhero meeting, down under in my lair.

Go, Keith Lightning!

Jibbidy-ya!

W-Wait!

Crazy Keith!

Crazy Keith, wait!

-Mr Prank!

-Beatrice! What are you doing, creeping about?

-Is that ice cream?

-What, this?

HE SPLUTTERS

M-Might be.

OK. Superheroes need someone to save. Agreed?

Yeah-yeah!

I can't see anyone who needs saving though, Nevvy.

Why don't you use your lugholes, mate?

EARS BLEEP

Angry Pants.

What? No, we're not saving that dingo's doo-dah. Are we, Doris?

Hmm.

Hmm.

EARS BLEEP

-HE GASPS

-Yum-yum!

Ah! What can you hear, Super Nev?

Ice cream, ice cream, ice cream!

Ohh! Now you're talking.

-MR PRANK:

-'Now, listen.

'I've got to hide my ice-cream business from Uncle "Snoopert"

-'so I'm hiding my tubs in there.

-BEA:

-Not in Barney's flat.'

You're a marvel, Super Nev!

BANGING FROM UPSTAIRS Bingo!

There's Angry Pants and his... HE GASPS

Didger me doo-dah!

Look at all that ice cream!

So, you're telling me I can't hide my ice cream in Barney's flat?

Why is that, Beatrice?

Er, because Uncle Snoop... Rupert is bound to go in there, isn't he?

Oh, yes, you're right. So where, then? Where?

The cellar.

No-one goes in there except you.

Of course! Yes.

A-And there's a freezer in the cellar. Well done, Beatrice.

-Exactly. Come on - I'll help you move it.

-Right.

Super Nev and Keith Lightning to the rescue.

Wackadoo!

I'm confused.

You and me, buddy. We're going to rescue that ice cream

-from the dark and lonely cellar.

-Yum-yum! Ha-ha!

I'm getting a lump in my throat!

HE RETCHES

Yucky!

Sorry, Nevvy. Bit of a furball there.

Go, Keith Lightning!

EARS BLEEP

Hurry up, Nevvy! >

HE CACKLES There you go, Mr Prank.

Your ice cream will be our little secret.

Well, thanks, Beatrice.

My ice cream is now safe from Uncle Rupert and a certain blue bear.

HE SNEEZES

Just thinking about him brings on my allergies. Madness, I tell you.

KEITH SNIFFS

I can smell the ice cream from here.

-Three, two, one. Whoa!

-CRASH

Ha-ha-ha!

-Arghhhh!

-Shhh, Nevvy!

It's me. Superheroes aren't supposed to be afraid of the dark.

-OK, Keith.

-Come on.

Ah! Mundo problemo. Locked!

No worries, Nevvy. Go, Keith Lightning!

CRASH

Wackadoo! Ha-ha!

Get your super teeth down this little lot, Super Nev.

Jibbidy-ya! Ha-ha-ha!

Chilly. Not that superheroes feel the cold, obviously.

-Mmm. Mission accomplished!

-Yum-yum!

NEV BURPS

THEY LAUGH

Excuse me.

KEITH BURPS

Ha-ha! Pardon me, Nevvy. RIPPING

Oh no! I've split my cossie now.

Ha-ha-ha!

-BEEPING

-Uh-oh.

-Is someone coming, Nevvy?

-Yeah, yeah.

I bet it's that old Angry Pants. We'd better get out of here.

Quick!

Wackadoo! All that ice cream has piled on the pounds, Nevvy.

Stuck.

Ooohh!

We're trapped.

APPROACHING FOOTSTEPS

Frightened.

Nev? Crazy Keith.

What do you two look like?

Beetroot.

You ate all of that ice cream. What were you thinking?

Just being superheroes, B.

Super greedy more like. That ice cream wasn't yours to eat.

Sorry, Beetroot.

You do know that true superheroes always right their wrongs.

-Lost me there, B.

-They use their super powers to fix their mistakes.

If they'd eaten Mr Prank's ice cream, they'd replace it.

Well, that's a lot of ice cream to replace with only...

one hour of super powers left! The dial's nearly at zero.

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

-Don't panic, guys.

I have a plan.

OK, less than half an hour to make three large batches of ice cream.

-Are we ready?

-Yes!

Go!

Great job, Keith(!)

That's Keith Lightning.

First batch of ice cream ready for fast freezing somewhere super cold.

-Ideas?

-Er...the North Pole. That ought to do it.

Go, Keith Lightning!

-How speedy is he, Nev?

-Three, two, one.

BEATRICE GASPS

First batch of ice cream frozen at the North Pole.

Wow! You really do have super powers, Keith.

I think I've got frost bite.

-Let's freeze the second batch.

-Keep an eye out for Angry Pants, Nevvy.

BEEPING

Wow! And you really have super powers too, Nev.

-Love you, Beetroot.

-Ready, Keith?

-Aye-aye.

Go, Keith Lightning!

Tidy your flat for Uncle Rupert. Put up the balloons for Uncle Rupert.

Stand on your head for Uncle Rupert. Hello, what's this?

Oh! A stray tub of ice cream.

What's that you say?

All right then. I'll have a little taste.

HE GIGGLES

Delicious! Best batch I've ever made.

Right. Let's get you down to the cellar freezer.

There you go. Another batch of ice cream freshly frozen. Streuth!

No more North Pole for me.

It looks like you brought back part of the Artic instead, Keith.

-Cuddly.

-ROARING

Argh! Keith, that's not even ice cream.

You've brought back a baby polar bear.

-Mama! Mama!

-Poor thing. He want's his mummy.

Keith, you know what to do.

Oh, back to the North Pole again.

Come on, little fella. Go, Keith Lightning!

We're nearly there, Nev. When he gets back, we can re-stock

the cellar freezer.

-BEEPING

-Uh-oh.

-What can you hear, Nev?

-Angry Pants.

Shhh!

Come on, little tub. Time to join your friends down in the cellar.

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

-Wait for it.

BEEPING

GROANING

Baby polar bear back with its m-m-m-mummy.

Last batch of ice cream f-f-f-frozen.

-Ah!

-And one very angry Mr Prank

-coming up from the cellar and heading our way.

-Eh?

-I'll get you for this, bear!

-Ooh!

Angry Pants! Go, Keith Lightning!

Keith, you're about to lose your powers.

ALARM BEEPS

MR PRANK GROANS

BEARRRR!

-Zap me again, Nevvy.

-Hello, Mr Angry Pants.

HE SNEEZES

I'll get you, you little blue toilet brush.

-Now, Nevvy.

-Come here.

I know what you've been up to in my cellar, you.

KEITH AND NEV GIGGLE

Keith, why is Mr Prank frozen like that?

Wackadoo! I forgot! You can only make somebody a superhero

if they've got some super inside them.

That figures. Zap him again, see if he turns back to normal.

Tickle, tickle. Tickle, tickle, tickle.

Hurry! Mr Prank in that state and a messy flat - we're all in trouble.

-Come along, a final spot check. Where are you?

-Too late.

Uh-oh.

Oh, Plank, there you are. Uncle Rupert's on his way.

Just don't stand there. Look lively, man!

What are you wearing that silly costume for?

Answer me, man!

Quick, distract her.

Woof, woof, bah, bah.

Oh, little Nevvy doggy. Treat?

NEV WHIMPERS

Wait for it. Wait for it. And go!

On time, B, but I think it's jammed.

Good doggy!

-Streuth!

-Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

I am Barbara Biceps on a superhero's mission

to rescue you from him. MR PLANK: W-W-What have I done?

BARBARA BICEPS: Stop snivelling, man!

MR PLANK: What are you doing? Get off!

Barbara Biceps away!

MR PLANK: Get off! Ow!

-Phew!

-Didger me doodah!

-Woof, woof! Love you, Barbara!

Let's get this flat tidied up.

Thought you might need some super powers to help.

THEY LAUGH

You know what, Nev, I really enjoyed catching up with Uncle Rupert today.

-Thanks for keeping the flat tidy. I knew I could rely on you.

-Groovy.

Aunt Barbara was excited, wasn't she?

You could tell when she ripped the front door off when she let him in.

-Sleepy bear.

-She was acting seriously weird today.

Did you see that outfit she was wearing?

She gave Uncle Rupert a piggy back all the way to the station.

HE YAWNS

I didn't know that Aunt Barbara was strong.

It was almost as if she had super strength.

By the way, whatever happened to Keith's Superhero Me Machine?

Umm...I don't know.

Quick, everyone, look outside!

Wow!

What a smasher! My very own Super Doris.