Caught on Camera Bear Behaving Badly


Caught on Camera

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Ah-choo! Eugh!

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My allergy's telling me you're here somewhere, Bear. Come here.

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Ha-ha-ha-ha! Can't make me! Ha-ha-ha!

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Ah-choo! Just watch me try.

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-I scream! Ha-ha-ha!

-Oh no you don't.

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-Agh!

-Oh no you don't, Bear!

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-Grrr!

-That's my ice cream. Ha-ha-ha!

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Oww!

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-Oh, morning, Nev.

-Postie!

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Come here!

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Ooh! Mr Prank! I feel so ill prepared! Ha-ha!

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Can't catch me!

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Ha-ha-ha! Got you now, Bear!

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This bag is the property of Her Majesty The Queen!

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-Not any longer it isn't! Ha-ha!

-Agh!

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Come out, Bear! Ha-ha-ha! Wait a minute!

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I don't get it.

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And I don't get you, Mr Prank!

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-Hello, Mr Angry Pants!

-Rrarrrgh!

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Aggggghhhhh!

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Oh! Ugh! Ooh! Hello! This looks official! Ha-ha!

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Oh, and it's addressed to Mr Barney.

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Hmmm! Ha-ha-ha!

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Nnnnh!

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Ah! "Dear Mr Harwood. Your library book, The Hound In The House,

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"is now six months overdue."

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Oh! Oh-ho-ho-ho! Oh you naughty, naughty boy! Ha-ha-ha!

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I think I've just found a way to get rid of that bear! Heh-heh!

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By getting rid of Mr Barney of course! Ha-ha-ha!

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This will ruin him! Heh-heh! Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, hello, is this the Daily Dishy Dirt?

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HIGH PITCHED REPLY

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Yes, well I've got a juicy titbit for you

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on TV presenter Barney Harwood.

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HIGH PITCHED REPLY

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Yes. Yes! Yes, that's the one.

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Now it's a hot story so it should fetch a high price?

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HIGH PITCHED REPLY Yes.

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What? Oh yes! Oh yes!

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Yes, I can certainly get proof for you. Ha-ha-ha!

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Ha-ha-ha-ha!

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Love you, Barney.

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-Uh!

-Ha-ha-ha!

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Oh, Nev, what are you doing? You know today's my lie-in day.

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-Sleepy Barney! Snuggly, snuggly.

-Too right I'm sleepy.

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Oh well.

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HE YAWNS

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I'm up now.

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Whoa!

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Agh!

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Can you tell me, Mr Harwood, are you a thief?

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Care to comment, Mr Harwood?

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What was that?

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I don't know.

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Do you like reading that much?

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-Are you part of a book smuggling ring?

-Will you go away please?

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What are the press doing here?

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Wackadoo! Hot off the press!

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"Barney Hard Up Steals Library Book Shocker!" Oh!

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What? Let me see that.

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-"Steals library book."

-That's what it says.

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"The shame... End of career."

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-Oh!

-Well, there must be some sort of mistake, Keith.

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I haven't borrowed a book since Hound In The House.

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Nev took that back to the library six months ago.

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-Um...

-Oh!

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Love you, Barney!

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Nev, you did, didn't you?

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear.

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Oh, Nev!

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PHONE RINGS

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Oh!

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Oh, this smells like a kiss and tell, Nevvy!

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Yucky!

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HIGH PITCHED VOICE ON PHONE

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I'm sorry, Mr Director-General, sir.

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HIGH PITCHED VOICE

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Yes, yes, right away.

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Me boss wants to see me.

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-Oh!

-Come on, you two. We've got to find that book

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and get it back to the library.

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-Easy-peasy!

-That's what you said six months ago, Nev.

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Sorry, Barney.

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One simple mistake, a whole lot of trouble.

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Oh! My sock, Nev.

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Oh! Pizza!

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Hmm.

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SLURPING

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CHOMPING

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It's got to be around here somewhere.

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Nev, you find the book and take it back to the library.

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I've got to save my job.

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Love you, Barney.

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Looky for booky! Oh!

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-Hey, Nevvy, They're talking about Barney on the telly!

-Oh!

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My poor nephew Barney should have got himself a proper job!

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Then he wouldn't have to resort to pilfering!

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-No, no, no, no!

-Barney's Aunt Barbara's got more cheek

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than a buttock factory!

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We're going to find this book or Barney's out of a job!

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Oh! Looky booky quick!

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What I want to know is this - who was the dodgy dingo

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that sold the story to the papers in the first place?

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SNAP

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Ow! Ha-ha-ha-ha! This could possibly bee the best day of my life!

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Not only am I going to get rid of Barney and that horrible blue bear,

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but also I've made enough money from selling that story

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to restock my entire ice cream empire!

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-Miaoooow!

-Yeeesss! Now, Bandit, I want you to guard this book OK?

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Myeah! Heh!

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"The Hound In The House." Heh-heh!

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"It was a cold night and the villagers looked murderous!"

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Meowl!

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"Someone or something had been systematically

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"shredding their pants while they slept."

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-Ho-ho-ho!

-Meh?

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Phew! We've searched everywhere for that book, Nevvy.

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Nothing.

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BOTH SIGH

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What we need is some choc chip double squidge ice cream to help us think.

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Too right, bro. No problemo.

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Oh! You're fresh out, Nevvy.

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-Angry Pants.

-Oh, like your thinking.

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Angry Pants is bound to have some ice cream, but we'll need to take

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a crafty looksy first to make sure the coast is clear.

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Come on, down to the lair!

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Hungry.

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-Hang in there, Nevvy. Ice cream, then back to the book hunt.

-Yeah.

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A-ha!

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"..Shadow fell over him.

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"It was the hound in the house!" Ha-ha-ha!

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Didger-me-doodah! Angry Pants has got Barney's book.

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No way, Jose!

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It's a double whammy, Nev. He's got the book and the ice cream.

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But how are we going to get our paws on them? Hmm.

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KNOCK ON DOOR

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Hello!

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Down here!

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G'day, Mr Prank. I'm from the National Wackadoo.

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Would you mind answering a few questions about the Harwood case?

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-I've never heard of the National Wackadoo.

-Then you haven't lived.

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How much are you offering for this interview?

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Oh, eh, how about a punch on the doodah?

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Oh, right, well we'll forget the fee then.

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Ah-choo!

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Urgh! Sorry, I've got a bear allergy.

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I suppose you want to come in.

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No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!

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Let's get on with it here.

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Now, question one...

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Right.

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Is Barney a typical Pisces? My Doris thinks he is.

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Typical... Uh...

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Oh! Booky!

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Grrr! Grrr!

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Aaagh!

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Mraowwww!

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-Run!

-Miaowww! Miaow! Miaow!

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Miaowl!

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So you think Mr Harwood wears a size eight shoe.

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CLATTERING

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Look, look, I've got to go!

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Time I was going too.

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What's all this?

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Bandit!

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Mwah!

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-You're supposed to be helping me, not helping yourself.

-Mweh!

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Ah-ah-ah-choo!

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Mwagh!

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Ugh! That bear has been in here, hasn't he?

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Myeah! Myeahhhh!

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Oh, so he's been after the book, has he?

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Myeah!

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You want this book, Bear? Ha-ha-ha!

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You'll have to come and get it! Ha-ha-ha!

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Mwhhhh!

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NEV SOBS

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Poor Barney. No booky.

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You did your best, little fella.

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This book thing's just a storm in a T-shirt!

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-Barney's a good bloke.

-OK.

-RADIO:

-'The Prime Minister has

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-'called for tougher fines for overdue library books.'

-Oh.

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'For cases like Barney Harwood's,

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'prison sentences are being considered.'

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-Oh.

-Right. Didn't see that one coming.

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NEV SOBS

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No, no, no, no!

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PHONE RINGS

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Here I am.

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Hi, Nev, it's Barney.

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-Barney.

-Hiya. How did you get on

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with taking the book back to the library?

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Um... no problemo.

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Oh, mate, thank you so much. You're a star.

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My boss said if I return the book I get to keep my job.

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Love you, Barney!

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I love you too, mate! Cheers. I'll be home soon.

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Oh!

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Did you just say you've taken the book back?

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-Uh-oh!

-Ditto that, Nevvy! Yagh!

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We really better get our hands on that book, and sharpish.

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Come on! Ohhh!

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Beetroot!

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Hey, Nev. I just want you to know I think this is really wrong.

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Aye-aye, captain!

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Mind you, not taking a library book back for six months

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is a bit forgetful.

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So you're not going to help us clear Barney's name?

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-He was set up, you know?

-Angry Pants.

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Boys, things are serious enough for Barney

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without dragging other people into it -

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-even Mr Prank.

-Oh!

-Oh!

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Looks like it's down to us to prove that Barney's not a bad 'un, Nev.

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Too right, bro.

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Sometimes the only way to cure a bad smell

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is by making an even bigger one

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and I'm in the mood for a stinky!

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Yeah, So, Nevvy, as soon as Angry Pants reads that book

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we'll catch it on this camera. Then we'll have proof

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-he's stopping Barney from returning the book.

-Tip-top-eroo!

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Bonza! Woo-hoo-hoo! We'll soon clear Barney's name and get some payback

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-for Angry Pants' kiss and tell.

-Mm-hm.

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-Now, where's that book?

-Uh-oh.

-Oh!

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-Boo-ja-me-doodah! He's hiding the book in his strides!

-Oh.

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-Easy does it.

-Mwaow!

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-Nearly got the photo we need!

-Mwah!

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-Agh!

-Oh! Oh!

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Oh, yucky!

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Strewth! That's the photo idea up the Suwannee!

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I can't see a thing!

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Poor Barney!

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-Don't give up, Nevvy! We'll get our photo! You'll see, buddy.

-Oh!

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BANDIT SNORES

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If only Miss Barbara could see me now,

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reading a book and watering plants at the same time!

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You wouldn't see a careless caretaker doing that now, would you?

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Oh! Oh!

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Mwaagh!

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THEY LAUGH

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Ooh! Quick, Nevvy, get the picture, get thee picture!

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BANDIT YOWLS

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KEITH AND NEV SCREAM

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CLATTER

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-What's all the racket?

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Bandit!

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Whoaghhh!

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Yes!

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-Heh-heh-heh!

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Ha-ha!

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Ouch! Ow! No piccy!

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There's only one thing for it, Nevvy.

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-We're going to have to go for the the trousers!

-Oh!

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"..And then he went down the old corridor..."

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Mweah!

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ANGRY PANTS CONTINUES READING

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Oh! Frightened!

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Yucky!

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Ooh! Ow! Ow! There's something up there! Get off!

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Get off! Get off me!

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Owww! Oooh! Ow!

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Ohhhh! I feel dizzy! Aaaghhh!

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Mwaghhhh!

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-Aghhhh!

-Yaghhhhh!

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Bleugh! Eugh! Eugh!

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-No piccy.

-Oh, he's got post-trouser stress disorder, Doris.

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Nev's seen some things no bear should ever have to see.

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Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear!

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Oh, Nevvy, you know what happens when you get that sad face!

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NEV SOBS

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Yeah, exactly.

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I can't sit here and let my best mate suffer like this, Doris.

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There's only one thing for it. We've got to confront Angry Pants...

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Yeah-yeah!

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..bear to man and say, "We want our book back now!"

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Grrrr!

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Hang on, buddy. I'm not serious. That would be like a kamikaze mission!

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Grrrr!

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Oh!

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Love you, Barney!

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This is not good! Not good at all! Wackadoo! Oh!

0:17:050:17:12

PHONE RINGS

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Hello!

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Is that you, Plank?

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It's Prrrrank!

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Don't roll your eyes!

0:17:210:17:24

What can your faithful caretaker

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do for you today, Miss Barbara, sir, er, Ma'am?

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My tap needs fixing. There's a drip.

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Just like you!

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Well I shall be right over, ma'am!

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PHONE GOES DEAD

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Or maybe you should try turning the tap off for once!

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BANDIT SNORES

0:17:460:17:47

-Bandit!

-Miaow!

-Keep your paws off the ice cream. Got it?

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-Myeah!

-Uhhh!

0:17:530:17:56

HE MUTTERS

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Oh! Oh, what have we here, then?

0:18:020:18:06

Booky please.

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Oh... Oh... You go home and pack, Bear,

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because when Mr Barney loses his job and goes to jail

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you won't be able to pay the rent.

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Grrr! Booky!

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R-R-R-Run along. Run along, there's a good Bear.

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Booky mine!

0:18:250:18:26

-Grrr!

-Bandit!

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Bandit, open the door, you flea-bitten... Bandit! Ow!

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Bandit!

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Ha-ha-ha!

0:18:340:18:36

Bandit, let me in!

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-WHACK!

-Ow!

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Booky!

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Booky! Wagh-ha-ha-ha!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Eat the book, Bandit, you fur ball! Eat it!

0:18:470:18:51

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Oh! No!

0:18:510:18:55

Foiled again! Now you must run along, Bear!

0:18:550:19:00

-No! No!

-Oh!

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Grrrrrrrr!

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Oh!

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Grrrrr!

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Bandit!

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-Charge!

-Agh!

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-Ow!

-Meowwww!

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Ha-ha-ha! Oh yes!

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Wagh-ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha!

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Is that the book Barney was supposed to have taken?

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Explain yourself, Plank!

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Well, no, no, no, this is my book. It's the same, b-b-but...

0:19:290:19:33

You were right, Nev. Mr Prank did frame Barney.

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Stealing from a resident.

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-Grrr!

-Plank, you're fired!

0:19:390:19:42

Uh!

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The Daily Dishy Dirt will be interested in this picture.

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Tip-top-eroo!

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ANGRY PANTS SOBS

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Ah-ha-ha-ha!

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-TV:

-'Today in a dramatic turn of events, TV presenter

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'Barney Harwood was cleared of stealing a library book

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-'after new evidence implicating Mr Andy Plants...'

-Plants! Hah!

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-'..a local caretaker, was handed to the police.'

-Hello, everyone.

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-Barney!

-Well, guess who's still got his job?

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-Oh, congrats there, Barnster!

-That's great, Barney.

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Thanks, Beatrice!

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-Wackadoo!

-Yucky!

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Um, you know, even though Mr Prank did try and ruin me,

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I still kind of feel a bit sorry for him.

0:20:370:20:40

-He's lost everything.

-So did you, nearly.

0:20:400:20:43

I know. I've decided to drop all charges against him.

0:20:430:20:46

-Oh!

-Huh?

-What?

0:20:460:20:48

You're a sausage short of a barbie, Barnster!

0:20:480:20:52

And I've convinced Aunt Barbara to give him his caretaking job back.

0:20:520:20:55

-Oh!

-I can't believe I'm hearing this.

0:20:550:20:58

Well... Nev, follow me.

0:20:580:21:00

If Mr Prank wasn't here, Nev, there'd be no ice cream.

0:21:020:21:05

Yeah. I didn't think of that.

0:21:050:21:08

And no more chases either, Nev.

0:21:080:21:11

Hello, Mr Barney, sir!

0:21:160:21:18

A little bit of dirt on the skirting board there.

0:21:180:21:21

BEATRICE GASPS

0:21:210:21:23

Well, what are you waiting for?

0:21:240:21:26

-Ha-ha-ha!

-I'm going to get you, Bear!

0:21:260:21:30

Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:300:21:32

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Whoa! Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:320:21:36

Ah! Love you, Barney!

0:21:370:21:40

Nev, have you seen my PJs? All I could find was this nightie.

0:21:400:21:44

Ha-ha-ha!

0:21:440:21:46

-Oh!

-"TV's Barney Harwood Wears Nightie Shocker!"

0:21:480:21:51

Wackadoo!

0:21:510:21:53

Keith, give me that now!

0:21:530:21:54

Crazy Keith!

0:21:540:21:55

-Get off!

-Just give me the camera!

0:21:550:21:57

Come on, fellas, I'll split the money with you!

0:21:570:22:00

-No!

-Give it here!

0:22:000:22:01

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