Sing a Song of Secrets Bear Behaving Badly

Hey, Nev, check this out.

Oh. Hi, Melanie.

Still can't find him.

You're kidding? You've been searching for him for ages as well.

Tell me about it.

I know!

-All right, Nev, you can come out now! Coast's clear.

-Easy-peasy!

Right. Have a go at this.

Ha! Well played, Nevvie!

You can hide out in my secret lair hide-out any time you like!

-Love you, Crazy Keith!

-Oh, yeah, buddy.

As long as my lair stays top secret,

you will never lose at hide and seek!

-MELANIE:

-OK, Nev, you win! I give up!

Smellanie.

Game over! Get going, Nevvie!

I win, I win! Ha-ha!

It's me!

Hey, Nev, look what I've found.

-I think it might be a musical box.

-Groovy!

Well, it is, but there's no key.

Oh?

-Oh, surprise, surprise. There you are, Nev.

-Hello, Smellanie.

Look, no-one cheats me at hide and seek. I want to know how you do it.

-Secret!

-I'll catch you out.

You have a secret hiding place and I'll find it.

These eyes are watching your every move.

HE BLOWS A RASPBERRY

Nah, you ain't never going to find me, Smellanie!

It'll be like looking for a wombat in a haystack! Ha-ha!

Hello, Mr Barney, sir!

Oh, hello, Miss Melanie.

Mr Barney, sir. I found this old key on the stairs outside,

I wondered if it belonged to you?

Well, it must be for this. Brilliant! I'll see if it fits.

Ah, it does.

Jibbidy-ya!

-I'll be off, then.

-Hang on, Mr Prank.

Erm...it's not working, look.

I'm turning the key, but it's not opening.

-Broken.

-I'll have a look at it straight away. Out the way, bear.

-Clever pants!

-Ah, yeah...

-Mr Prank, I'm going to have to go to work.

-Nearly there!

Just wiggle the key and we'll try again.

-Stuck!

-Thank you, bear, I know it's stuck.

Can we give up, please? We've wasted a whole morning on that box.

That's the footprint of a Harwood.

Barney Harwood!

I knew it!

Barney, why are there dusty footprints leading to your door?

Oh, Plank. I might have known you'd be involved.

Hi, Aunt B. Just clearing some stuff out the loft.

-On Uncle Rupert's instruction, actually.

-Woof!

Oh, Nevvie, doggy. How boring for you!

Luckily, I've got some doggy treats.

HE WHIMPERS

NEV GASPS

BARNEY GASPS

Well! >

That's a nice dress...eh, Nev?

Woof-woof!

That box just won't open. I give up!

Wow!

That's an awful...

Awful... Awfully...

awfully...nice dress you're wearing, Miss Barbara, sir.

-Erm, ma'am.

-Stop being such a creep, Plank! You're useless at that too!

As I was saying...

# Caretaker Caretaker

# Couldn't care...less-taker... #

-Well, that was weird.

-Woof!

It was the box. NEV GASPS

My voice. I think I must be sickening with something.

It opened and closed on its own. I never touched it, honest!

Well, Aunt Barbara, I think your dress looks, um...

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

# I know you like your dress, Aunt B

# But I can tell no lies

# It's monstrous, hideous, disastrous, delirious

# It would win a prize

# For the worst dress in the world

-MUSIC STOPS

-Uh-oh.

Um, what just happened?

You were very rude, that's what happened.

And very out of tune! Don't do it again.

FUNKY MUSIC PLAYS

# And now I'm off to work, Aunt B

# A job which you despise

# But it's a great job, a cool job, super job

# Awesome job! It would win a prize, oh, yeah!

# For the best job in the world

# And that's the worst dress in the world. #

-Come on!

-What do you think you're doing?

MUSIC STOPS

NEV LAUGHS

Oh, Barney! Barbara! Singing. La, la, la, la, la...

Yeah, that WAS interesting.

So, a musical box that makes people sing the honest truth.

Maybe I could sing to you, bear.

Can't scare me!

HE SNEEZES

Stop setting off my allergies and give me that box.

-No way, Jose!

-HE GROWLS AND BLOWS RASPBERRY

-Come here! Argh, bear!

-Love you, Mr Angry Pants.

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

# Bear, by day, when your friends are here

# You know I have to be polite

# But my dreams are filled with ways to get you

# When I'm all alone at night

# I want to bake you in a pie Wash and hang you out to dry

# Watch you shrink till you're this high

# I'm going to get you Oh, yeah, I am, just watch me

# Get you, oh, yeah I am, can't stop me!

Ha, ha! Jibbidy-ya!

MUSIC CHANGES

# Angry Pants, l-l-love you Ice-cream

# Tiptop-a-roo Angry Pants, ice-cream Daddy

# Angry Pants G-G-G-Groovy! #

Oh, wackadoo! It hasn't been this noisy

since the Didgeridoo-dahs played Wembley. Ha!

HE LAUGHS

Are you digging the music, Doris?

Oh, I get it. You want to see your boy, Keithie, properly rock out,

like in the good old days. Well, I've got just the thing.

Don't move a muscle. No, no, stay right where you are, Doris, love.

HE PLAYS ROCK MUSIC

-# You only love me for my ice-cream.

-Too right, bro! #

MUSIC STOPS

-Give me that box.

-Mine.

I'm getting fed up with you, bear. You better watch yourself today

cos I've got a plan to land you in it good and proper,

and that's the truth.

HE CACKLES

HE GROWLS

Can't scare me!

-Crazy Keith!

-Ssh! Strewth, mate!

You want to be careful.

Mirror alert!

Hello, Smellanie.

Hmm.

Uh-oh.

JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS

# I know you're up to something, Nev But ain't it the truth?

# You can't get nothing past Melanie I'm a proper little sleuth

# I'm watching you like a hawk, I am

# "Am I?" I hear you cry

# "Yes, I am," says I. #

-MUSIC STOPS

-What just happened?

-Um, nothing.

-I'm watching your every move. I WILL catch you out.

-Can't catch me!

-Laters, bear.

OK, Smellanie.

(GASPS) Didgeridoo-dah. That girl can sing!

-Box.

-If Smellanie's singing the truth,

she's going to find me and get me thrown out,

never to return like a broken boomerang. Oh!

-You've got to help me, Nevvie.

-Love you, Crazy Keith.

Oh, I'm going down into hiding, Nevvie, till all this has blown over.

-OK.

-Er, well, maybe just a quick pop-up in Angry Pants's flat first

for some ice-cream. Ha! Sundaes down under in 15, buddy! Whoo-hoo!

All right, old Bandit. Let's have a look at this.

Yes! They're exactly the same.

HE LAUGHS You better watch out, bear!

You've got a double and he's trouble.

MIAOWS FEROCIOUSLY

Right, paw prints at the ready, Bandit!

Perfect. Now, go and find Miss Barbara and do some damage.

CRAZY KEITH GASPS

No, no.

Ah!

-Naughty Pants.

-Yeah, sure thing, Nevvie.

Bandit's fakes paw prints

are going to stitch you up with Aunt Babs any minute now.

AUNT BARBARA SCREAMS

HE GASPS

Ah, job done, I'd say.

Now, how are we going to get you out of this one

-and make sure that Aunt Babs knows the truth?

-Box!

Oh, wackadoo! You're right, Nevvie.

-This music box makes you sing the truth, right?

-Too right, bro.

Then this is just what we need to get you out of the doo-doo

with Aunt Barbara and land Angry Pants right in it!

-Love you, Crazy Keith.

-Come on, mate! It's heavy.

Oh!

Plank! Look at my dress.

Oh, no. Oh, dear. Your lovely dress, ruined - by paw prints!

I was snoozing and I woke up to this.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Well, the paws that did this,

Miss Barbara, sir, er, ma'am,

should be thrown out of the block of flats, perhaps never to return.

You think that someone that lives here did this?

Let's have a look. Excuse me.

Oh, yes, yeah, there's only one person in this block of flats

-with paws that size.

-Not my little Nevvie, doggy.

Yeah. These paws definitely belong to him, Miss Barbara, sir. Er, ma'am!

-But they can't be.

-Neville!

HE LAUGHS

Job done, Bandit.

BANDIT CACKLES

-Nevvie, doggy.

-Woof-woof!

There he is, looking like butter wouldn't melt.

-I've got you now, bear!

-Now, box, now!

He's the one that's been telling the porkies.

Naughty little Nevvie, doggy.

I'm afraid it's doggy training school for you.

Aunt, there's something you need to know. You see, I've been...

No, not yet, box! Not her! Oh, wackadoo!

JOLLY MUSIC PLAYS

# I've watched Neville like a hawk, I have

# He didn't do the crime

# You can't get nothing past Melanie I've been watching the whole time

# An innocent little bear he is

# "Is he?" I hear you cry

# "Yes, he is," says I. #

MUSIC STOPS

-Did I just...?

-Sing the truth? Yes. And dropped me right in it.

Anyway, let's get back to the bear, shall we?

Who agrees with me that he still should be thrown out? Anyone?

Him! He's the liar. Open now!

Yes!

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

# I dressed Bandit up as Nev Made his paws a mess

# Bandit made your dress a sight

# Cos my dreams are filled with ways to get Nev

# When I'm alone at night

# Because you're such a fool I knew you'd send him back to school

# Which I think would be real cool

# He's a bear, ooh, yeah He is, you know it

# Not a dog, ooh, yeah A bear, you know it... #

MUSIC CHANGES

# Caretaker Caretaker

# Couldn't-care-less-taker

# I've a secret fear of bears

# The mere sight of a bear

# Fills me with despair Great despair! #

WINDOW SHATTERS

Ooh! My voice.

I think I need something to soothe it.

HE GRUMBLES

-So rude!

-Oh!

You got lucky this time, bear! If it wasn't for that musical box...

-NEV GROWLS

-You know what?

-What?

A box that makes you sing the truth could be a very useful thing.

Exactly! Give it here, bear.

-Yeah, Nev. Time to turn the tables on you.

-Uh-oh.

We can make him sing about his hide-and-seek cheating secret.

Yes! I always thought he must have a secret partner.

No bear is that good at behaving badly.

Help! I'm done for if they get Nevvie to sing.

-Nev, give us the box.

-Can't make me!

KEITH PANTS

If that box makes Nevvie sing about me, Doris,

my lair will be discovered! Argh! We need to get out of here, doll.

Come on, babe. Ooh!

Come on, bear. Confess all.

-No, no, no, no.

-Where do you hide? Come on, tell me.

Yeah, where, bear?

KEITH SQUEAKS

Bear?

What is it about the biscuit barrel? Is there something in it?

ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

# Nevvie, buddy, c-c-c-cuddly koala Tiptop-eroo!

# Crazy Keith l-l-l-lives there

# Crazy Keith l-l-l-lives there

# G-G-G-G-G-Groovy! #

COUNTRY MUSIC PLAYS

# I'm a crazy koala And I borrow your stuff

# And of Mr Prank's ice-cream I just can't get enough

# If you think that's a crime Then I guess I'm guilty... #

Yeah! Yeah.

# Guilty as a crazy koala from down under can be. #

Yeah. Yeah.

-MUSIC STOPS

-Ah! Wackadoo.

I'd still be as safe as a baby joey in a kangaroo's pouch

if it wasn't for Nevvie and that singing box. Oh!

-HE WHIMPERS

-Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh, dear.

PIANO MUSIC PLAYS

# I love, Nevvie Whatever you do... #

L-L-L-L-Love you, Crazy Keith.

# Cos love is like that

# Everyone knows it's true

# Nev, ooh, yeah You drive me crazy

# But I love you more than sausages and gravy

# You always have to win at hide and seek

# You'd do anything to beat me and now I know you cheat

# But even though you do

# Life would be boring without you... #

L-L-Love you, Smellanie!

# Cos love is like that Everyone knows it's true

# Nev, you're a bear who drives me crazy

# But deep down, yeah I love you, baby

# You call me Angry Pants You make me sneeze

# You're always taking ice-cream from my deep-freeze

# But even though you do

# Deep down sometimes I really love you... #

L-L-Love you, Angry Pants!

# Cos love is like that Everyone knows it's true

# Plank, you're useless and you drive me crazy

# But I have to admit that I love you, maybe

# You couldn't-care-less-taker Snivelling creep

# You're terrible at your job But you do come cheap

# And even though it's true

# I must admit if you left I'd miss you... #

L-L-Love you, Barbara.

# Cos love is like that Everyone knows it's true

# Cos love is like that Everyone knows it's true

# Love is like that Everyone knows it's true! #

MUSIC STOPS

-Huh?

-CRAZY KEITH GASPS

Yeah, we're all fine, thanks.

Aunt B? Well, she's OK, you know. she's keeping Mr Prank in check.

I will. Yeah, yeah. I'll look for the photo album

as soon as I've put the music box back in the loft.

Yeah. Anyway, the box. Yeah, yeah. I know what I'm doing.

Yeah, I'll get on that right away.

All right, Uncle Rupert. See you later.

I'm home!

Oh. Hello, everyone.

Where's that music box?

I've just been on the phone with Uncle Rupert.

That box needs to be locked.

Apparently, Aunt B, the reason I was so mean to you about your dress

was because this box makes people sing the truth.

So the truth is, you do think my dress is awful.

The truth is, we finally know the bear's secret.

Nev's got secret hideaways. That's how he always wins.

-He's a cheat.

-Yes.

He hides with his secret partner in crime...

HE GASPS

..who lives in the...

In the, er... In the...

-Er, what was I talking about?

-Where am I?

-Where...?

Confused.

Am I...? Are you...? What am I...?

Time for me to go.

Hey, Nev, look at this.

I found an old ancient photo album in the loft.

HE COUGHS

NEV SNEEZES

-Oh, sorry, mate. Sorry.

-Dusty.

-Yeah, I know.

-Groovy!

-I know. Look at this.

-This must be Aunt Barbara and Uncle Rupert when they were kids.

-Ooh!

Look at that one.

THEY LAUGH

There's Uncle Rupert sucking his thumb,

-in his pyjamas with a teddy bear. He looks ridiculous.

-Too right, bro!

-Wait a sec, that's the teddy bear that I found in the loft.

-Oh.

I thought it was Aunt B's, so I gave it to Melanie to put on her pillow.

-I wonder if she found it.

-Sleepy bear.

Yeah, me too, mate. It's weird.

I can't work out what I've done today to make me so tired.

-Anyway, night, mate.

-Love you, Barney.

-Love you too.

Barney! Nevvie! I'm sleeping with you tonight.

There's a bear in my bed!

SHE WHIMPERS

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd