The Age of Gumbletron Bottersnikes & Gumbles


The Age of Gumbletron

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Ha! Ha-ha-ha!

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Whoa!

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Hold it steady, Bounce.

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-So, this is going to spray water over the grubberry bushes?

-Yep.

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Where's the water going to come from?

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Ah, details, details.

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Thought about a smaller hose?

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-Whose tink is this?

-Just trying to help!

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-Well, you're not. And why can't you hold it steady?

-You know what?

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I'm done. You are so bossy when you're tinking.

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Wait!

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-I need an assistant!

-Find someone else! I'm going grubbing.

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-Hey. Want to help me with a tink?

-I, uh...

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really need to, you know, do that thing I really need to do.

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-No way. We're not being ordered about by you.

-Yeah.

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You're such a pain in the grub when you're on a tink.

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Float!

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# La la la I can't hear you! #

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You are pointless, pathetic parasites!

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King say he want food!

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Glob bring food.

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I didn't want mattress stuffing!

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I want hot, rusty nails.

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Do I have to explain everything?!

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-Yes.

-Oh!

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Oww!

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SLURP!

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Gubbo, get over here!

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HE SIGHS

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-What?

-These poopsnikes are useless servants.

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I want something that will do exactly what I say...

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-GUBBO SIGHS

-..when I say it!

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No, before I say it.

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What do you expect me to do about it?

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I expect you to do something!

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Build it. Find it.

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Steal it. Do it now!

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Get out of here before my bum finds a new home on your head.

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GUBBO SIGHS

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Friends are supposed to help.

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They're supposed to do what you say.

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GROAN! Ahh!

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CRASH!

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If I'd had a friend helping, that wouldn't have happened.

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-ROBOTIC VOICE:

-Level two.

-Huh?

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-Please exit safely.

-Ahh.

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I'm here to help.

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If my friends don't want to help, maybe I need to make a new friend.

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HAMMERING AND DRILLING

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-What do you think he's doing in there?

-We don't care!

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As long as he's not bothering us.

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DRILLING CONTINUES

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I am here to help.

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ELECTRICITY CRACKLES

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THWACK!

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-Meet Gumbletron.

-I am here to help.

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Wow. You made a...

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metal thing.

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A metal friend who'll do everything I ask without questioning.

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And without complaining.

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So, you don't need me any more.

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-Oh - I'm SO disappointed.

-I'm sorry, Bounce, but you heard Gumbletron.

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I am here to help.

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-Left, Gumbletron.

-I am here to help.

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You, Gumbletron, are my most tinkmendous tink ever.

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Hey, Gumbletron, think fast.

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CLANG!

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Bounce! SHE LAUGHS

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GUMBLETRON BEEPS AND WHIRS

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-Gumbletron is a delicate invention.

-Ha!

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Not great at dodgegumble though, is she?

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Want to come play with us? Winner takes grubs.

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I'm building a grubberry bush irrigation system, here.

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I don't have time for games.

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Gumbletron, hold this, please.

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Figured out where all the water is going to come from?

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I'll work it out! I've got Gumbletron, now.

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She manages to help without spending the whole time

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asking stupid questions.

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-I am here to help.

-BOUNCE SIGHS

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Fine, you stay here with your metal mate.

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I'm off to have real fun with real gumblechums.

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Grub you later.

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Come on, Gumbletron, let's shift this to the grubberry bushes.

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-It'll be quieter.

-I am here to help.

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Mmm.

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Stupid piece of...

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Ah!

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-DISTANT: You see, Gumbletron...

-Huh?

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You can't question a tink. It's pure. It's powerful.

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-Hmm.

-The others don't understand.

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-Not like you.

-I am here to help.

-That's what I like to hear.

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Ooh. Hello. A mechanical servant.

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Just what I need.

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Although, you never know what you're getting into with mechanicals.

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Could be booby-trapped.

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Maybe get some other nincombotter to do the dirty work.

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HE LAUGHS

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MUNCH MUNCH!

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Next one, Gumbletron. There we go. Irrigation system complete.

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Now, all we need is the water.

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Oh, yeah. The water. Ohh!

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I'm only saying this because she's not here,

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but maybe Bounce has a point.

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-Any ideas, Gumbletron?

-I am here to help.

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Not helping, Gumbletron. OK, where's the water?

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Oh, yeah! The moat!

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Come on, Gumbletron. We're going to need a grub-load more hose.

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Hup!

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Arrgh! SPLASH!

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-Oh.

-Huh? Oooh.

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-Oooop?

-Check it out!

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MUNCH!

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Who needs the others, right, Gumbletron?

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The perfect team.

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I'm confused.

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How can machine do walking AND talking?

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GUBBO SIGHS

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-You don't have to understand. You just have to grab it.

-Ohhh.

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Glob understand.

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Check out the tinkmeister. Grubberry bushes - watered.

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So, were did you get the water?

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Ahh! The moat. Obvs.

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Don't we need the water in the moat to keep the bottersnikes away?

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Come on, grubbrain! There's plenty of water in the...

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-Crumbleguts!

-Toot! Toot toot!

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Snipes! Coming this way!

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-And no moat!

-Double crumbleguts!

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Got to stop the pump. Come on, Gumbletron.

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I am here to help.

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-Didn't there used to be water here?

-Yeah.

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You two poopsnikes grab that mechanical...

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..I'll grab me some gumbles.

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-Waargh!

-Quick, Gumbletron - this way!

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Ha-ha-ha!

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THEY MOAN

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Triple crumbleguts!

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One mechanical slave,

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and two squidgy slaves. Nice.

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GUMBLES STRUGGLE AND STRAIN

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Let me go, you hairy slime-covered bum wart!

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Shut up, grubmunchers.

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I want to see this metal servant.

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-I am here to help.

-Hmm.

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We'll see about that. Get me that mattress stuffing!

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-I am here to help.

-Hmmm.

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-Told you so.

-Gubbo...

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You have done something not completely useless.

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Rub my feet.

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I am here to help.

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Oh. Ohhh!

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Good!

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That stinking snike is ordering around my Gumbletron!

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I'm the only one allowed to do that.

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BOUNCE MOANS/BOTTERSNIKES LAUGH

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Although, maybe if I had done a bit less ordering

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and a bit more listening...

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TINK! Maybe Gumbletron

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needs to do a bit less listening!

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Hup!

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Right a bit. Right a bit!

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Oh! Right there!

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Ohhhhhh.

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BOUNCE MOANS

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Throw it straight, this time!

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Waaaah! Oof!

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-Bounce!

-Uh?

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Tink?!

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-Sorry about the whole ordering you around all the time thing.

-It's OK.

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-Whoa!

-Thing is, I'm going to order you around again.

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I need you to get me some alone time with Gumbletron.

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You want me to get you to that metal grubmuffin?

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I know I've been a wumpus, but now I need my real gumblechums.

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SHE SIGHS

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Whoa! Whoa! Waaah!

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Whoa! Oooh! Ahhh!

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Glob throw straight this time.

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Glob promise.

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Hup! Oof!

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Ow! Bah!

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Who's shooting Gumbles at me?

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Get your heads ready for my bottom!

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Arrgh! Ha-ha!

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THUMP!

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Hmm.

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-THEY MOAN

-And don't do it again!

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Help to here I am.

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-Do you help am I?

-Bingo!

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Am I here? Help. Help. Help.

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Ah. There you are.

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Head sitting is exhausting.

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Get me some food.

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-Please mind the doors.

-Hah?

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Stop! Gubbo!

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-Ah! Arrrgh! Arrrgh!

-Huh? Uh-oh.

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Going down.

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Oh! Ow! Ooh! Ooh! Ow!

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THEY LAUGH

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Going down.

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-BOTH:

-Ooooh! Ow! Ow!

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So, Gumbletron stopped taking orders, then?

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Ah! Arrgh!

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Ha-ha. My metal mate got a mind of her own.

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-To here help am I!

-Arrrgh!

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-Arrrrgh!

-Have a nice day.

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THEY SING AND CHEER

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-ALL:

-Awww!

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-So, yeah. Less ordering about, more listening.

-Hmm.

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I'll believe that when I see it.

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So, what are we going to do about the grubberry bushes?

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They still need watering.

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TINK! Wheels! We put the bushes on wheels

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and bring them to the moat.

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We can't just cut the bushes down. What about their roots?

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Bounce, you know when Tink tinks an idea,

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it can't be untunk. SHE SIGHS

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Go get me six - no, eight - wheels.

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Better make it ten. And springs!

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I'll need lots of springs!

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A large stone. I need a rusty spoon...

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See you back at the bus.

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..and something stretchy, about four and a half gumbles long.

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Make it four and three quarters.

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