Gum Fu Gumble Bottersnikes & Gumbles


Gum Fu Gumble

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PANS BANGING

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Huh? Huh?!

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It's early!

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You know what they say about the early Gumble.

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No.

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Yes.

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The early Gumble gets the...

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Ha! Huh! Woo!

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Hey-hey-hey!

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..Snike.

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No, it's grub. It's definitely "gets the grub."

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Grrr. Ha! Ay! Aya!

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THEY GASP

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Woo-ha!

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Yaaaah!

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-BOTH:

-Whoa!

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-That...

-Was...

-BOTH:

-Gum-believable.

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THEY LAUGH

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You're not so big and tough.

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-And all like...

-Wait.

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What are you?

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That is a gum fu pummelsnike.

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Gum pum what now?

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Gum fu is the ancient Gumble martial art

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that can be learned in one easy lesson.

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A pummelsnike is used in the training.

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-There's a Gumble martial art?

-That can be learned in one easy lesson?

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You just saw it.

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Gum fu has made me the Gumble I am today.

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So you're a Snike-bottom-kicking gum fu master?

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You just saw him pummel that pumpkinsnike.

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A wise gum fu Gumble does not seek a rumble.

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I only keep up my gum fu to stay in shape.

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But with that big tum you can kick Snike bum?

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A Gumble should always use his brains first.

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The wise know gum fu is the last thing you do.

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If I knew gum fu, it would be the first thing I'd do.

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Will you teach us gum fu in one easy lesson?

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You're like totally...

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HE GIBBERS

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..awesome!

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And we want to learn from the awesome gum fu master.

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That's you. Pa-pow!

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Well, I...

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Of course. The master welcomes his new pupils.

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh!

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Ah.

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Weathersnike, explain this.

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Your whole body has fallen asleep.

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What?! Urgh!

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Your foot fell asleep.

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And that spread to the rest of your body.

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With all the being carried and the just sitting - on heads -

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your muscles have nodded off.

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Well, wake them up!

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You do know how, don't you?

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O-o-o-of course!

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The best remedy for Bottersnike whole-body-sleep-ism

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is the practice of...

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Um...

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Yo...

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Huh?

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..yoga. Yes.

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For centuries used to awaken the central Bottersystem.

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This yo-ga better work.

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Or I'll fall on your head.

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On the path of gum fu,

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one must at all times remember the 12 words of Gumfucius.

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"Only by swimming across an ocean can you feel like a tired fish."

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Do exactly what I do.

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HE EXHALES

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-BOTH:

-Do exactly what I do.

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THEY EXHALE

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HE SIGHS

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THEY SIGH

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Ooh-hee-yu-ahh!

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Oh-hee-oo-ooh.

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THEY BOTH LAUGH

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-BOTH:

-Oh-hee-oo-ooh.

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HE GROANS

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Ah! Hi-ya!

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THEY LAUGH

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-BOTH:

-Ooh. Yeeeow!

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Ah-ooh-hoo-whoa!

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-BOTH:

-Waahhh!

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Oh!

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HE CHUCKLES

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THEY LAUGH

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It's time for the final level.

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I do not know what I am doing.

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-BOTH:

-What?!

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Only when you do not know what you are doing

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can you embrace all there is of gum fu-ing.

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THEY LAUGH

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Ooh-ya!

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Oww-whoa!

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Woo! Yeeee!

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Yaaa!

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Now you.

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Uh, we couldn't.

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Do you know what you're doing?

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-Not a clue.

-No. Uh-uh.

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Then you are ready.

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-BOTH:

-Ahhh!

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Huh! Uh?

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Whoa-ahh!

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How was that, Master Happi?

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As effective as the most skilled gum fu-er.

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-BOTH:

-Gum fu!

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GONG RINGS

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Yoga has over 11 poses.

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This post is known as the...the...

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curly floater.

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Oooh! Ahhh!

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Huh?

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Oh.

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Oh... Ah!

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Huh. Is there a pose called the doomed bluffer?

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Oh, you're in it.

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Grrrr.

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We have mastered gum fu.

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We are now tired fish.

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THEY LAUGH

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Gum fu of mind, we could kick your behind.

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Hut-hut-wooo!

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THEY LAUGH

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You may laugh but we shall prove ourselves worthy.

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We are going to gum fu some Botterbottom.

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-BOTH:

-Hi-yah...

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THE OTHERS LAUGH

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What are we laughing at?

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The twins are pretending

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they're going to trash the Snikes with gum fu.

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Oh, ah, they...they may not be pretending.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Come on.

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Even the twins know gum fu is the world's most useless martial art.

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Don't they?

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I-I-I may...not have mentioned that.

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THEY LAUGH

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GRUNTS

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And transitionise into the flapping plop.

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Bottersnikes. And they're learning gum fu.

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They must have found out we were coming.

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HE GROANS

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Oh!

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We have to gum fu fast before they finish their one easy lesson.

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You just forgot to mention the teeny tiny extremely crucial fact

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that gum fu is totally womp?

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I-I-I was going to mention it eventually.

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-When?

-Next lesson.

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-ALL:

-There is only one lesson.

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I was just...

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I got so caught up in them being so caught up in me being Master Happi.

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Maybe they won't run into any Snikes.

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Toot-toot!

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Or maybe they will.

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Prepare for a trip to Bum-Kick City.

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Huh?

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Well, well, well. I once had a holiday in Bum-Kick City.

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As long as I'm doing the kicking

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it's a top destination.

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And I think I'll be doing the kicking.

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Hmm.

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Where have you been keeping these?

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That's not important right now.

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I put the twins in danger, I have to get them out of it.

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You are not on your own, Happi.

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As long as your plan doesn't involve more gum fu.

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It involves more gum fu.

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THEY GROAN

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Prepare to be gum fu'd.

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Ha! But you are totally outnumbered!

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Now we have no idea how many Snikes are there.

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-Five.

-Shush!

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Huh?

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-BOTH:

-Whoa-ahh!

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Should we be worried about this...

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Gum fu?

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THEY PANT

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-THE TWINS:

-We've got no idea what we are doing!

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-BOTH:

-Hoo-hoo-ho-ah!

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Uh... I was not expecting this.

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-Oh, it's so...expressive.

-Huh?

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-BOTH:

-Ha-ha-hoo-ho-ah!

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Blindfolds.

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THEY GROAN

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Mmmm.

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Why is the gum fu not working?

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Bored now. Seize them!

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THEY PANT

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THEY SHOUT

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Ha-ha-haaah!

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Ow! Ahhh!

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Ahhhhh!

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-BOTH:

-Ooh.

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-CRACKING

-Ow! Ow!

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Oh.

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Now that's how you awaken the central Bottersystem.

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Oh.

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THEY GULP

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Thank you.

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But you're still getting seized.

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Huh?

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Huh?

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Gumbles.

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-ALL:

-We do not know what we're doing!

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-ALL:

-Hoo-yoo-ho-ah!

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How are the Gumbles beating up those Snikes?

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And who are those Snikes?

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Should we help them?

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Hm. Did they help us when we were under attack?

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Hmm.

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Hm. They seem to have it under control.

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MUFFLED SHOUTS

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I wonder if there are any more Snikes we can gum fu.

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They can't see we're here.

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We should just...

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Saved by gum fu.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Gum fu doesn't work.

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-BOTH:

-What?!

-He told us...

-But I did...

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I do...

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THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

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-BOTH:

-Ohhh! Twin Fu.

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W-w-wait! I can expl...

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Huh. This never happened to Gumfucius.

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Oh!

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