Gum Fu Gumble Bottersnikes & Gumbles


Gum Fu Gumble

Animated series. When Happi teaches Merri and Jolli the ancient art of gum fu, he fails to mention that it is useless when it comes to fighting actual snikes.


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Transcript


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PANS BANGING

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Huh? Huh?!

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It's early!

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You know what they say about the early Gumble.

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No.

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Yes.

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The early Gumble gets the...

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Ha! Huh! Woo!

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Hey-hey-hey!

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..Snike.

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No, it's grub. It's definitely "gets the grub."

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Grrr. Ha! Ay! Aya!

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THEY GASP

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Woo-ha!

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Yaaaah!

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-BOTH:

-Whoa!

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-That...

-Was...

-BOTH:

-Gum-believable.

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THEY LAUGH

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You're not so big and tough.

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-And all like...

-Wait.

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What are you?

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That is a gum fu pummelsnike.

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Gum pum what now?

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Gum fu is the ancient Gumble martial art

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that can be learned in one easy lesson.

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A pummelsnike is used in the training.

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-There's a Gumble martial art?

-That can be learned in one easy lesson?

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You just saw it.

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Gum fu has made me the Gumble I am today.

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So you're a Snike-bottom-kicking gum fu master?

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You just saw him pummel that pumpkinsnike.

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A wise gum fu Gumble does not seek a rumble.

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I only keep up my gum fu to stay in shape.

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But with that big tum you can kick Snike bum?

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A Gumble should always use his brains first.

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The wise know gum fu is the last thing you do.

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If I knew gum fu, it would be the first thing I'd do.

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Will you teach us gum fu in one easy lesson?

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You're like totally...

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HE GIBBERS

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..awesome!

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And we want to learn from the awesome gum fu master.

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That's you. Pa-pow!

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Well, I...

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Of course. The master welcomes his new pupils.

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh!

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Ah.

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Weathersnike, explain this.

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Your whole body has fallen asleep.

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What?! Urgh!

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Your foot fell asleep.

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And that spread to the rest of your body.

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With all the being carried and the just sitting - on heads -

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your muscles have nodded off.

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Well, wake them up!

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You do know how, don't you?

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O-o-o-of course!

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The best remedy for Bottersnike whole-body-sleep-ism

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is the practice of...

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Um...

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Yo...

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Huh?

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..yoga. Yes.

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For centuries used to awaken the central Bottersystem.

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This yo-ga better work.

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Or I'll fall on your head.

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On the path of gum fu,

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one must at all times remember the 12 words of Gumfucius.

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"Only by swimming across an ocean can you feel like a tired fish."

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Do exactly what I do.

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HE EXHALES

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-BOTH:

-Do exactly what I do.

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THEY EXHALE

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HE SIGHS

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THEY SIGH

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Ooh-hee-yu-ahh!

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Oh-hee-oo-ooh.

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THEY BOTH LAUGH

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-BOTH:

-Oh-hee-oo-ooh.

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HE GROANS

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Ah! Hi-ya!

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THEY LAUGH

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-BOTH:

-Ooh. Yeeeow!

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Ah-ooh-hoo-whoa!

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-BOTH:

-Waahhh!

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Oh!

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HE CHUCKLES

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THEY LAUGH

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It's time for the final level.

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I do not know what I am doing.

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-BOTH:

-What?!

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Only when you do not know what you are doing

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can you embrace all there is of gum fu-ing.

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THEY LAUGH

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Ooh-ya!

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Oww-whoa!

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Woo! Yeeee!

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Yaaa!

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Now you.

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Uh, we couldn't.

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Do you know what you're doing?

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-Not a clue.

-No. Uh-uh.

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Then you are ready.

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-BOTH:

-Ahhh!

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Huh! Uh?

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Whoa-ahh!

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How was that, Master Happi?

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As effective as the most skilled gum fu-er.

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-BOTH:

-Gum fu!

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GONG RINGS

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Yoga has over 11 poses.

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This post is known as the...the...

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curly floater.

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Oooh! Ahhh!

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Huh?

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Oh.

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Oh... Ah!

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Huh. Is there a pose called the doomed bluffer?

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Oh, you're in it.

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Grrrr.

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We have mastered gum fu.

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We are now tired fish.

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THEY LAUGH

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Gum fu of mind, we could kick your behind.

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Hut-hut-wooo!

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THEY LAUGH

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You may laugh but we shall prove ourselves worthy.

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We are going to gum fu some Botterbottom.

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-BOTH:

-Hi-yah...

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THE OTHERS LAUGH

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What are we laughing at?

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The twins are pretending

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they're going to trash the Snikes with gum fu.

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Oh, ah, they...they may not be pretending.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Come on.

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Even the twins know gum fu is the world's most useless martial art.

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Don't they?

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I-I-I may...not have mentioned that.

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THEY LAUGH

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GRUNTS

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And transitionise into the flapping plop.

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Bottersnikes. And they're learning gum fu.

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They must have found out we were coming.

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HE GROANS

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Oh!

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We have to gum fu fast before they finish their one easy lesson.

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You just forgot to mention the teeny tiny extremely crucial fact

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that gum fu is totally womp?

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I-I-I was going to mention it eventually.

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-When?

-Next lesson.

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-ALL:

-There is only one lesson.

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I was just...

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I got so caught up in them being so caught up in me being Master Happi.

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Maybe they won't run into any Snikes.

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Toot-toot!

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Or maybe they will.

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Prepare for a trip to Bum-Kick City.

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Huh?

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Well, well, well. I once had a holiday in Bum-Kick City.

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As long as I'm doing the kicking

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it's a top destination.

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And I think I'll be doing the kicking.

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Hmm.

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Where have you been keeping these?

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That's not important right now.

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I put the twins in danger, I have to get them out of it.

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You are not on your own, Happi.

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As long as your plan doesn't involve more gum fu.

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It involves more gum fu.

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THEY GROAN

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Prepare to be gum fu'd.

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Ha! But you are totally outnumbered!

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Now we have no idea how many Snikes are there.

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-Five.

-Shush!

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Huh?

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-BOTH:

-Whoa-ahh!

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Should we be worried about this...

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Gum fu?

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THEY PANT

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-THE TWINS:

-We've got no idea what we are doing!

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-BOTH:

-Hoo-hoo-ho-ah!

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Uh... I was not expecting this.

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-Oh, it's so...expressive.

-Huh?

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-BOTH:

-Ha-ha-hoo-ho-ah!

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Blindfolds.

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THEY GROAN

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Mmmm.

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Why is the gum fu not working?

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Bored now. Seize them!

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THEY PANT

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THEY SHOUT

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Ha-ha-haaah!

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Ow! Ahhh!

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Ahhhhh!

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-BOTH:

-Ooh.

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-CRACKING

-Ow! Ow!

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Oh.

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Now that's how you awaken the central Bottersystem.

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Oh.

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THEY GULP

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Thank you.

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But you're still getting seized.

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Huh?

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Huh?

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Gumbles.

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-ALL:

-We do not know what we're doing!

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-ALL:

-Hoo-yoo-ho-ah!

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How are the Gumbles beating up those Snikes?

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And who are those Snikes?

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Should we help them?

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Hm. Did they help us when we were under attack?

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Hmm.

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Hm. They seem to have it under control.

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MUFFLED SHOUTS

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I wonder if there are any more Snikes we can gum fu.

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They can't see we're here.

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We should just...

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Saved by gum fu.

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HE CHUCKLES

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Gum fu doesn't work.

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-BOTH:

-What?!

-He told us...

-But I did...

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I do...

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THEY SPEAK OVER EACH OTHER

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-BOTH:

-Ohhh! Twin Fu.

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W-w-wait! I can expl...

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Huh. This never happened to Gumfucius.

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Oh!

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When Happi teaches Merri and Jolli the ancient art of gum fu, he fails to mention that it is useless when it comes to fighting actual snikes, and when the twins set off to Snike Hill to pick a fight, it is up to the other gumbles to save them.


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