Tom Hollander - Cantankerous King Colin CBeebies Bedtime Stories

CBeebies Bedtime Story.

Lords, ladies and teddy bears, you are too kind.

Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Oh, hello. I'm King Tom. I mean, I'm Tom.

I've just been trying on King Colin's crown.

I think it suited me, don't you?

Don't tell him, though, cos I think he's in a bad mood today.

Would you like to hear about King Colin

in tonight's Bedtime Story?

You would? Fantastic.

The story is called Cantankerous King Colin.

It's by Phil Allcock and Steve Stone.

King Colin woke up feeling cantankerous.

For breakfast, he had lettuce on toast with a jug of cold gravy.

"Ew, you can't eat that," said Queen Christine.

"It's yucky and mucky."

"I can," said King Colin,

and he did because he could, because he was king.

Silly King Colin.

After breakfast, he went to the toilet,

but he didn't wash his hands afterwards.

TOILET FLUSHES

"You can't go to the toilet without washing your hands,"

Queen Christine said.

"I can," said King Colin,

and he did because he could, because he was king.

Dirty King Colin.

He picked up an old shirt, it smelled of last night's dinner -

fish stew with Brussels sprouts. "You can't put that on, it stinks,"

said Queen Christine. "I can," said King Colin,

and he did because he could, because he was king.

SNIFFING

Smelly King Colin.

King Colin sulked around the palace.

He was bored and a king should never be bored.

So he decided to go for a ride.

He rushed to the stables

where his favourite horse, Pinknose III, lived.

PINKNOSE WHINNIES

But Pinknose III didn't have a saddle on. King Colin had a tantrum.

He jumped up and down and shouted and wailed,

"Where's my horse saddle?!"

"Daddy, no-one knew you were going for a ride," said Prince Pete.

"You can't shout like that."

"I can," said King Colin,

and he did because he could, because he was king.

Grumpy King Colin.

King Colin rode Pinknose III into the country.

Reaching a field of cabbages, he trotted straight through it.

"Oi, you can't do that, you'll squash my cabbages,"

shouted the farmer.

"I can," said King Colin, and he did because he could,

because he was king.

Lazy King Colin.

On the way back, King Colin came to a big pool of mud.

"I can't get Pinknose III to jump over that, can I?"

he said to himself.

"I can," decided King Colin, and he did because he could,

because he was king.

Crazy King Colin.

Pinknose III didn't want to jump,

and stopped suddenly.

Splat!

King Colin wasn't happy. His face went as red as a tomato.

Steam came out of his ears, he roared louder than the loudest lion,

but no-one heard him,

only Pinknose III and he wasn't really listening.

King Colin stomped home.

He left muddy footprints all the way up the stairs.

"Daddy, you can't go upstairs in your dirty boots,"

said his daughter Princess Penny. "I can," snapped King Colin,

and he did because he could, because he was king.

Naughty King Colin.

King Colin sat down for a lunch

of sausage and custard and beans covered in jam.

"Ew, you can't eat that," said Queen Christine,

"It's slurp-y and burp-y."

King Colin was still cross, "I can," he roared.

"Oh, no, you can't," said a voice.

It was Great Queen Connie.

-"Colin, I hear you've been silly...

-CHEWING

-"..dirty...

-TOILET FLUSHES

-"..smelly...

-SNIFFING

-"..grumpy...

-GRUMBLING

-"..lazy...

-GROUND SQUELCHES

-"..crazy...

-SPLAT!

-"..and naughty.

-HEAVY FOOTFALLS

"You can go straight to your room."

"You can't do that," said King Colin.

"I can," said Great Queen Connie, and she did because she could,

because she was the king's mum.

That story was called Cantankerous King Colin.

It was funny, wasn't it?

Now that King Colin's been sent to his room,

perhaps I'll have a turn at being the king again.

Now, boys and girls, princes and princesses,

it's time for you to go to bed.

That's a royal order.

Night-night. I'll see you again soon for another Bedtime Story.

Now, which of the royal teddies shall I, King Tom, cuddle tonight?