Don't Read This Book CBeebies Bedtime Stories

CBeebies Bedtime Story!

Hmm. Now, what rhymes with pea?

Sea...he...

Oh, hello. I'm Warwick.

I'm helping the King's story-writer with tonight's bedtime story,

as one of his best stories has disappeared.

He's given me these peas to help with ideas, but it's not working.

And I don't know what to do, as the King is not amused.

Why don't I explain the whole problem?

The story is by Jill Lewis and Deborah Allwright,

and is called Don't Read This Book.

Once upon a time, on a dark and stormy night...

"Stop right there! Once upon a time, absolutely nothing happened!

"I command you to read something else,

"there is no story here!"

But someone had started reading now, hadn't they?

Yes, I do mean you.

The King phoned his story-writer.

"What do you mean it's not ready?

"I was promised a new story, and a new story I shall have!"

The King needed to find his story-writer, fast,

because he had the feeling he was being watched.

"You again! Go away or I'll fling you in prison!"

The King met his story-writer.

"Ah, there you are.

"My new story is meant to be starting right his minute!

"Where is it?"

"Uh, yes. I had some notes but I've, uh, lost them.

"I do have the title, though, sire. Well, it's half a title.

"I had it on a piece of paper, but you see here it's, uh, it's torn."

"The Princess And The...something?

"What kind of a title is that? Where's the rest of it?"

The story-writer thought long and hard.

"Well, um. I've just come back from Beanstalk Crossroads,

"I was sitting there, thinking. It might be there!"

"What are we waiting for? Get on with it!"

On the way to Beanstalk Crossroads,

the King and the story-writer tried desperately to think of the title.

"Was it The Princess And The Incredibly Handsome King?"

"Uh, no."

"Was it, The Princess And The Amazingly Clever King?"

"Uh, no."

"Was it The Princess And The Unbelievably Brave King?"

"Uh, no, sire. Sorry, sire."

While they were thinking, a certain someone was still reading.

Yes. I do mean you.

"Uh, your Majesty? Someone's watching us."

"Don't look! Keep your eyes fixed on the front and keep riding.

"If you turn one more page of this book,

"I will throw you in the dungeon!

"There's no story! Go away!"

"No, wait a minute!

"My notes - well, some of my notes - I've found them! Hurrah!"

"Just get on with it, man!

"What do they say?"

"Uh, um, yes. Um, it starts with a storm."

"Good, good, I like a bit of drama."

"And then there's this princess."

"I think we've guessed that.

"Any other characters? Like a handsome, brave and clever king?"

"Oh, yes, your Majesty. There's definitely a king in the story."

"It wouldn't be a good story without one!

"What about the story? What's going to happen?"

The writer looked around him. There were no more pages!

What was he going to do?

"Is this what you're looking for?

"Fee Fi Fo Fum!"

"The next two pages! Yippee!

"We need a...let me see. A queen and a prince and 15 mattresses..."

"We certainly don't need any of that nonsense!

"Where are we going to find 15 mattresses?"

"I think Red Riding Hood's grandma might have some spare ones."

They raced to Grandma's cottage, where they confused the wolf.

"My...your Majesty. What fine clothes you have,

"and smart shoes you have.

"And what a big crown you have."

"Yes, yes. That's enough of that.

"We need some mattresses, and now! Get out of that bed immediately!"

Suddenly, the writer came running in.

"I've found my notes! We just need one more thing."

"I thought you were never coming!"

"Now we've got everything - all the characters,

"a beginning, a middle and an end.

"This is so exciting, it's fantastic..."

"Oh, be quiet! Look! We've run out of space!

"Where can we tell the story? I'm not pleased!

"And we still don't even have a title!"

"Wait! I've an idea.

"We can tell it on the last two pages,

"but we'll have to be quick. Oh, and the title!

"I've found that, too.

"It's The Princess And The Pea.

"Once upon a time on a dark and stormy night,

"a princess struggled to reach the castle of her beloved.

But the King - handsome and brave - and the Queen of the castle

"did not believe such a wet and messy girl could be a princess.

"So the Queen, taking the advice of her wise and good-looking husband,

"set her a test.

"She slipped a pea beneath the 15 mattresses on the Princess's bed.

"The Princess said she had not slept because of the lump in her bed,

"and the Queen and the King knew she really was a princess

"as only a princess could be so delicate.

"On hearing the news, the Prince proposed to the Princess,

"they were married and they all lived happily ever after. The end."

"What? Are you still here? It's your bedtime!

"Go away, and don't you dare read this book again!"

That story was called Don't Read This Book.

But I'm really glad we have read that book.

Now I understand the importance of the peas.

And now you've heard the full story, it's time for you to go to bed.

I'll see you soon for another story.

Night-night.

Now, I think I'll write a letter to the King's story-writer,

to thank him for the story.

"Dear Story-writer..."

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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