Raven Mad ChuckleVision


Raven Mad

The comic antics of accident-prone brothers. The Chuckles are minding the ravens at the Tower of London, but Paul gets sidetracked by a plot to steal the Crown Jewels.


Similar Content

Browse content similar to Raven Mad. Check below for episodes and series from the same categories and more!

Transcript


LineFromTo

# Ch-Ch-ChuckleVision Ch-ChuckleVision

0:00:020:00:04

# Ch-Ch-ChuckleVision Ch-ChuckleVision

0:00:130:00:16

# Ch-Ch-ChuckleVision. #

0:00:160:00:18

MUSIC: "Rule Britannia!"

0:00:190:00:22

I feel silly.

0:00:330:00:34

Silly?! You're wearing the uniform of a Beefeater,

0:00:340:00:39

Yeoman of the Guard? Defender of the Crown Jewels?

0:00:390:00:43

-How do you feel silly?

-My hat's too big.

-You'll grow into it.

0:00:430:00:47

-Where's your pike?

-I parked it round the back.

-Not your BIKE, your pike!

0:00:470:00:52

-You know what that is?

-An ugly fish with big teeth.

-No!

0:00:520:00:55

-It's a long stick with a point on the end!

-I saw one of those inside.

0:00:550:01:00

Ah, well...

0:01:000:01:01

Right, then...

0:01:040:01:06

Ow!

0:01:060:01:07

-You could have had my eye out!

-It was an accident.

0:01:070:01:10

-Accident nothing! Here, you have that one.

-All right.

0:01:100:01:14

-Oooh!

-Ha ha! Sorry, it was an accident(!) Right.

0:01:140:01:19

-I'll teach you the basic moves. You do everything I do.

-Right.

0:01:190:01:23

Over the shoulder with the pike. Get my pike... Then...

0:01:230:01:27

Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah!

0:01:270:01:30

Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah! Wah!

0:01:300:01:33

Was that six wahs or seven?

0:01:330:01:36

Hold that.

0:01:360:01:38

PAUL LAUGHS

0:01:430:01:46

BIRD CAWS

0:01:480:01:49

BIRD CAWS AGAIN

0:01:550:01:58

You're the one that did it! Come down and try that again!

0:01:580:02:02

You disgusting little creature!

0:02:020:02:05

-Oh, I didn't mean you, I meant that black pigeon.

-Raven.

0:02:050:02:09

-Yes, he is.

-I don't recognise you two. New faces, eh?

0:02:090:02:14

-No, we've always had these ones.

-We're in a state of high alert.

0:02:140:02:18

-Daring Derek's around!

-Around what?

-He's a notorious robber,

0:02:180:02:22

famed for his ridiculous disguises. He plans to steal the Crown Jewels.

0:02:220:02:28

-And you want us to guard them?

-Now, there's a thought.

0:02:280:02:32

You two guarding the Jewels!

0:02:320:02:34

HE LAUGHS

0:02:340:02:37

No. You two keep well clear of them. I want you to look after the ravens.

0:02:390:02:45

You know they say when the last raven flies from the Tower walls,

0:02:450:02:50

buildings tumble and the kingdom falls?

0:02:500:02:53

If the ravens left, it would be disaster for Britain.

0:02:530:02:57

-We don't want that, do we?

-No. Now, to your duties.

0:02:570:03:00

Dis-miss!

0:03:000:03:03

-Told you this hat was too big!

-PAUL SIGHS

0:03:060:03:09

Bird duty! I can't believe it.

0:03:100:03:13

The Crown Jewels are at stake, and we're sent to the sidelines.

0:03:130:03:17

-You could help!

-No time, I've more important things to do.

0:03:170:03:21

I'm reading up on Daring Derek.

0:03:210:03:23

-Hickory, Dickory...

-Don't tell me, Dock?

0:03:230:03:28

No, Fred.

0:03:280:03:29

-Incredible!

-Not really.

0:03:290:03:31

-We've got an uncle called Fred.

-No, Daring Derek!

0:03:310:03:35

He started his criminal career at Buckingham Palace.

0:03:350:03:39

-Disguised as a constable, he stole a corgi!

-No!

0:03:390:03:42

Then he went on to paintings.

0:03:420:03:44

Disguised himself as a corgi, and stole a Constable!

0:03:440:03:48

-Let's check the Crown Jewels.

-But Sergeant Harris said not to.

0:03:480:03:52

-But he doesn't know what we're capable of.

-I don't know.

0:03:520:03:56

Word gets round.

0:03:560:03:57

Magnificent, eh? That's the biggest diamond in the world.

0:04:040:04:08

-It's called the Koh-I-Noor.

-That's the curry house in the High Street!

0:04:080:04:13

-Yes!

-Fancy naming the world's biggest diamond after a curry house.

0:04:130:04:18

Yeah. Queen Victoria used to go there for a Balti.

0:04:180:04:22

Fancy her liking curry!

0:04:220:04:24

Well, that's down to her Nan. Ha ha ha, her nan...!

0:04:240:04:28

Let's check out the security.

0:04:280:04:30

Ah, yes, here it is! I recognise this.

0:04:390:04:42

-That's a type 2 Schless and Warner.

-You're not gonna fiddle with it?

0:04:420:04:46

Course not!

0:04:460:04:47

ALARM BELL RINGS

0:04:470:04:50

-Stupid thing!

-I'll get Sergeant Harris.

-Tut, tut, tut, no.

0:04:520:04:57

-I've got my screwdriver.

-But Sergeant Harris...

0:04:570:05:00

-This is beyond his stupid brain.

-Stupid brain?

-Yes...

0:05:000:05:04

Heh heh heh... Just an expression...

0:05:040:05:07

-RINGING STOPS

-What you gonna do with that?

0:05:090:05:12

Suppertime, lads. Bit of best steak. I've cooked it as well!

0:05:160:05:21

-Paul? One of these ravens has grown since lunchtime.

-Has it really?

0:05:230:05:27

Hickory, Dickory, Fred...

0:05:270:05:31

And Harry!

0:05:330:05:34

And Ha... Paul! Guess what?

0:05:340:05:37

-He speaks!

-It's a raven, not a parrot!

0:05:370:05:41

Expert, is he? Hasn't he heard of Doctor Dolittle?

0:05:410:05:45

It's me! I can understand him! I can talk to the animals!

0:05:450:05:49

-Cor, he's a big 'un!

-Told you!

-I didn't think you meant that big!

0:05:550:06:00

-What should we do?

-Anything he says!

0:06:000:06:02

-Some chips would be nice.

-He said he'd like some chips.

0:06:020:06:06

-I'll put the pan on.

-Oh, and maybe some ketchup.

0:06:060:06:10

-Some tomato ketchup, as well.

-Yeah, OK!

0:06:100:06:13

-Nah, forget the ketchup, make it mayonnaise.

-Mayonnaise it is.

0:06:140:06:19

-Can you change the ketchup to mayonnaise?

-I heard!

0:06:190:06:24

Just a minute... I heard...!

0:06:240:06:26

It seems you're not the only one who's a Dolittle, Barry!

0:06:300:06:35

-Huh! More like a do nothing!

-Right, you...!

0:06:350:06:38

He's not a raven at all! After him!

0:06:400:06:43

Ooh!

0:06:440:06:45

It's no good, he's flown away!

0:06:480:06:51

That wasn't a raven! That was Daring Derek!

0:06:510:06:54

Never!

0:06:540:06:56

BIRDS CAW

0:06:570:07:00

FLUTTERING, BIRDS CAW

0:07:010:07:04

"When the last raven flies from the Tower walls,

0:07:090:07:12

-"buildings tumble and the kingdom falls."

-Don't rub it in!

0:07:120:07:17

-What's Sergeant Harris gonna do?

-He doesn't have to know.

0:07:170:07:22

-Eh?

-Pass me some straw.

0:07:220:07:24

We'll leave these fake ravens here while we look for the real ones.

0:07:260:07:33

-There - Hickory, pretty life-like, eh?

-I don't believe it!

0:07:330:07:38

-It's not that bad!

-How did the Crown Jewels get there?!

0:07:380:07:42

Daring Derek must have put them there! Of course!

0:07:420:07:47

Remember when the alarm went off?

0:07:470:07:49

He was robbing the jewels!

0:07:510:07:53

Then he must have brought them here and hidden them under the straw!

0:07:530:07:57

-He'll have left fake ones!

-Shall we tell the sergeant?

-Yes. Erm...

0:07:570:08:02

Not yet. We'll take them to the Jewel House first.

0:08:020:08:06

-We don't want anything to happen to them.

-Let's wash them first.

0:08:060:08:12

There. Good as new.

0:08:120:08:14

What do you think you're doing?!

0:08:150:08:17

-Just trying it on.

-Well, don't!

0:08:170:08:20

-TINKLING

-What was that?

0:08:200:08:23

Oh, no! Not the Koh-i-Noor!

0:08:230:08:26

GURGLING

0:08:260:08:28

All is not lost. If I blow down this tube, the jewel will just pop up.

0:08:350:08:40

-It's all about succumbing to pressure.

-I know the feeling!

0:08:400:08:44

-What?

-Nothing.

-Get in position.

0:08:440:08:46

-HE BLOWS

-Anything?

0:08:480:08:51

-GURGLING

-Not yet.

0:08:510:08:54

LOUD CREAKING

0:08:550:08:59

-Now?

-No. Try harder.

0:08:590:09:02

LOUD CREAKING

0:09:050:09:08

-Still nothing.

-Right!

0:09:120:09:15

HE BLOWS

0:09:150:09:18

LOUD CREAKING

0:09:180:09:22

Nope. It must have gone down the drain. We'll have to get these back.

0:09:280:09:33

-Won't someone notice the biggest diamond in the world is gone?

-Yeah.

0:09:330:09:38

There. Nobody'll know.

0:09:440:09:46

OWL HOOTS

0:09:480:09:52

FOOTSTEPS APPROACH

0:09:520:09:56

I don't think we should be doing this.

0:09:580:10:00

-Relax. It's our job to protect the Crown Jewels.

-Of course.

0:10:000:10:06

-Tut-tut-tut! The place is alarmed!

-So am I!

-No, burglar alarms.

0:10:060:10:11

Invisible beams protect the place.

0:10:110:10:13

That's why I brought this - smoke.

0:10:130:10:16

-Hey! That's very clever!

-It is very clever. Come on.

0:10:210:10:25

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE-STYLE MUSIC PLAYS

0:10:250:10:31

Oh! Ah, yes!

0:10:340:10:38

Obviously faked, this lot.

0:10:380:10:40

-Ah!

-Paul?

0:10:400:10:44

-What?

-You know how it's burglar alarmed?

-Yes.

0:10:440:10:47

-Has it got smoke alarms as well?

-Probably. Why?

0:10:470:10:51

ALARM

0:10:530:10:54

BOTH: Wa-aah!

0:10:540:10:55

-Hang on! What shall I do with these?

-Get rid of them.

-OK.

0:11:010:11:05

SPLASH

0:11:080:11:09

-That's the last we'll see of those.

-Let's go.

0:11:090:11:12

ALARM STOPS

0:11:120:11:13

-Must be Sergeant Harris.

-We'll have to go to Plan B.

0:11:130:11:17

-What's that?

-You keep him talking while I go home.

-OK. ..Eh?!

0:11:170:11:21

Too late! Hide!

0:11:210:11:23

Well, what have we here?

0:11:240:11:26

-Daring Derek, caught you at last.

-No, you don't understand.

0:11:260:11:30

You know, in a funny sort of a way, I've always admired you.

0:11:300:11:35

Just a minute. Why's he Daring Derek? Why can't I be?

0:11:350:11:39

Because Daring Derek is as wily as a wolf.

0:11:390:11:42

Yeah, that's me.

0:11:420:11:43

-As cunning as a crocodile.

-Mmm.

0:11:430:11:46

And as nimble as...

0:11:460:11:47

-An elephant?

-An antelope.

0:11:470:11:49

That's definitely me. Hey, Barry, I bet they make a film about me.

0:11:490:11:54

-How dare you? You...imposter.

-Who are you?

0:11:540:11:58

-Don't you recognise me?

-Daring Derek!

-The one and only.

0:11:580:12:02

Well, I never would have believed it.

0:12:020:12:05

-That I was Daring Derek?

-No, that they could catch you! Well done.

0:12:050:12:10

Have a medal.

0:12:100:12:12

He stole the jewels and replaced them with fake ones.

0:12:120:12:15

We found the real ones down in the Raven House.

0:12:150:12:19

-You think you've figured it out. Not quite.

-What?

0:12:190:12:22

You was right. I DID plan to swap the jewels...this afternoon.

0:12:220:12:26

But just as I was about to,

0:12:280:12:31

some idiot set the alarm off, and I had to get out,

0:12:310:12:34

quick,

0:12:340:12:36

taking the fake Jewels with me.

0:12:360:12:38

..Without me screwdriver.

0:12:380:12:40

Then I went back to the Raven House, hid the Jewels,

0:12:400:12:44

and concealed myself among the real ravens.

0:12:440:12:47

See? The Jewels YOU found were the fake ones.

0:12:470:12:52

They're the ones you've just swapped.

0:12:540:12:57

No! It can't be!

0:12:570:12:59

We've been looking for that!

0:13:000:13:03

"Made in China."

0:13:030:13:05

Derek's right!

0:13:050:13:07

The Jewels ARE fake.

0:13:070:13:10

So...what did you do with the REAL Crown Jewels?

0:13:100:13:14

-Get rid of them!

-OK!

0:13:140:13:16

OWL HOOTS

0:13:180:13:19

SPLASH!

0:13:190:13:20

You threw the Crown Jewels in the river?!

0:13:200:13:23

What are you going to do?

0:13:230:13:25

In one day, we've lost the Crown Jewels, got rid of the Tower ravens,

0:13:270:13:32

and brought about the end of the country as we know it.

0:13:320:13:36

-Look on the bright side. At least we've still got a job.

-Oi! You two!

0:13:360:13:41

Back to work!

0:13:410:13:42

THEY CAW

0:13:440:13:47

-Ooh! It's...

-HE GETS TONGUE-TIED

0:13:510:13:55

-That wasn't Daring Derek!

-Wasn't it?

-It was a raven.

-Ah!

0:13:550:13:59

-He said he wants some chips.

-I'll go and put the kettle on...

0:13:590:14:03

The Chuckles are minding the ravens at the Tower of London, but Paul gets sidetracked when he hears a notorious robber is threatening to steal the Crown Jewels. Can Barry save the day when the Chuckles manage to lose the world's biggest diamond?


Download Subtitles

SRT

ASS