The Wedding Class Dismissed

This is Dockbridge High. A school just like yours.

A school like any other.

A place where bright young minds are taught by some of the wisest,

most respected members of the teaching profession.

Our cameras returned for another year

to find out what life is really like for the students and their teachers

at this most ordinary of schools.

Welcome to Class Dismissed.

BELL RINGS

There's a buzz of excitement in the playground this morning.

Not only is it the end of term...

Good luck today, Miss.

..but it's also Miss Spray and Mr Nasal's wedding day.

-Yes, sir!

-KIDS CHEER

-Morning, sir.

-Yeah, looking good.

-I do like to keep in shape.

I still can't believe they're getting married today.

I still can't believe they're going to be called the Nasal-Sprays.

BELL RINGS

In registration, Mrs Mark is helping her form to prepare

for a relaxing summer.

Feel yourself relaxing.

Relax.

TRUMP

Do you feel relaxed?

I feel sick.

Now, up we get.

TRUMP

Now, open up your chakras.

TRUMP

And let the tension just flow out of you.

LOUD TRUMP

-Who did that?

-KIDS:

-Eugh!

Come on! Who's the culprit?

I will not have someone releasing guffs in my yoga class.

This is totally unacceptable.

SHE SNIFFS

Hang on.

It's a very familiar smell.

-GIRL:

-Eugh!

Oh... It's a...

It's got some bite to it.

-Is that one of yours, Mark?

-Yeah, Mum.

I mean, Miss. She's not my mum.

Well done, Markey. Tiptop relaxing. Have a lollipop.

You could all learn a lot from Mark.

We can learn how to stink out the room.

In fact, you've done so well all year that I'm pleased to announce

that the Pupil Of The Year Award goes to none other than...

-Mark!

-How unexpected(!)

Well done, Marky.

As a special reward, you can assist me in the next yoga move -

the downward pigeon.

Take my legs, Mark.

This move is very good for core strength.

-SHE TRUMPS KIDS:

-Eugh!

-Sorry, Marky.

-That's all right, Mum. I mean, Miss. She's not my mum.

Excuse...me, Mrs Mark.

Could I have a word with my two best men, please?

-BOTH:

-Yes!

Sorry, Mum. I mean, Miss.

-What's wrong, Sir?

-The wedding, it's off.

-BOTH:

-Off?

-Yeah.

The wedding planner just called. There's been a mistake.

Nothing's booked - no venue, no food, no flowers, no registrar...

Nothing. What am I going to tell Miss Spray?

She's going to be so disappointed.

Sir, leave it with us.

Let Operation Wedding commence.

BELL RINGS

Tahj hits the library to do some wedding research

but he'll need Mrs Winston's blessing first.

Excuse me, Miss.

Are you talking to me?

Are you talking to me?

Yes. Sorry.

What do you want?

-Can I have the Wi-Fi code, please?

-The Wi-Fi code?

Where did you hear about a thing like that?

-Well, Martin...

-Well, you heard wrong.

-You hear that, Ron?

-MAN GRUNTS

This joker thinks we have the internet in the library.

Why would we need the internet when we've got all these beautiful books?

Oh, he said to tell you that Charles Dickens sent me.

Charles Dickens sent ya?

Well, why didn't you say so before?

Babyface, sort out a login for our new friend here, won't you?

-Knock yourself out, kid.

-Thanks.

And hey, Jabbermouth Boy,

what part of "keep the internet speakeasy a secret",

do you not understand?

With just a few hours to organise a wedding,

Billy and Tahj spread the word among the pupils and teachers.

I'm meant to be a bridesmaid.

You're not, Kevin. We talked about this.

(I am.)

BELL RINGS

Lunchtime, and Mark has been inspired

by the forthcoming nuptials.

Hi, babe.

Oh, my goodness, literally.

I've got, like, a question for you, innit.

Will you marry me?

No.

Literally, no.

Just stop following me around, OK?

It's getting, literally, really annoying.

-I don't know what I'm doing wrong.

-She doesn't fancy you, Mark.

You've been trying to talk to her all year.

It's never going to happen.

Mark...

Look, if you're in the ice rink over summer,

maybe we can, like, hang out sometime.

Literally, just as friends, OK?

See you, Mark.

Congratulations, mate.

Oh, my days. Did you see that?

She is so clingy, man.

-What?

-She was all over me. It's embarrassing.

I need my space.

-See you.

-Yeah, whatever.

She's not my girlfriend.

BELL RINGS

It's the last maths lesson of the year

and Mr Konnundrum has a conundrum.

So, if a man has, quite honestly,

had just about all he can take of his current job...

..and so applies to become an entertainment officer

on board one of the world's largest cruise ships...

.."A floating village that will thrill and delight"...

..according to the brochure.

How should the man break his imminent departure to his class?

Or colleagues in the office, but probably his class?

Yes, Tahj?

He should just turn up in his new uniform

and set his class a maths problem about how he's resigned

to work on a cruise ship.

Thank you, Tahj. Very good.

And for an extra mark,

is there any advice that you'd like to give to the man?

You know, with regards to his new career path?

Just do whatever makes you feel happy, sir.

Thank you, Tahj.

You've been a very good class.

And you've been a great teacher, Sir.

Right, then.

Quiet reading.

Quiet reading.

THEY ALL SHOUT GOODBYES

Maths is going to be pretty boring now.

BELL RINGS

As Billy updates Mr Nasal on their progress,

Miss Dior-Durant is making her own contribution to the wedding.

Hello, fashion victims, and welcome to Dior-Durant's fashion videos.

Like, share and subscribes.

Today, I will be doing vedding makeover.

First, foundation.

I use sponge.

Eyebrows. Eyebrows are so big right now, so make them big.

Bigger.

Biggest.

Eyeliner.

Just very gently.

Victoria Beckham tried to do this.

I say, "Victoria, you look awful."

She cry.

Eye shadow.

And blending, and blending, and blending.

Stop blending!

Contour.

Now lips.

Remember, lips are the eyebrows of the mouth,

so make them big.

Eyebrow again.

And there you have it.

Perfect everyday look for wedding.

So, remember, click likes, shares and subscribes.

Not subscribing - so last season.

COUGHING

Miss, she's ready.

Wunderbar!

Now the dress!

We may have made a mistake asking Miss Dior-Durant to do the make-up.

BELL RINGS

In drama, Mr Christopher is rehearsing for his

finest role to date.

Of course I'm thrilled to be doing the first dance at the wedding.

No-one even had to ask me.

Sir, the first dance is usually just the bride and groom.

Get out!

Isolation, now.

As instructed, Emily has gone to isolation.

-Hello.

-Hi, Tammy.

-Shall I do your hair?

-No, thanks.

I am SO excited about the wedding.

-Shall I tell you a secret?

-Go on, then.

Me and Billy are getting married, too!

It's a double wedding!

-Quiet, you two!

-Does Billy know about that?

Of course not. It's a secret. But I wrote about it in my diary,

so it must be true. You can read it, if you like.

Read it!

I'd never steal your boyfriend.

I would, really.

What have you done?

You are welcome, bestie!

I'm going to need a hair appointment now.

A joint hair appointment!

The pupils and staff have organised everything.

Flowers - check, confetti - check,

chocolate fountain...

Check.

It's time for the wedding of the year.

But, as no-one was invited to that, everyone's going

to Mr Nasal and Miss Spray's wedding instead.

# Cos it's a wedding day. #

This looks...

..wonderful.

But who did you find to conduct the wedding?

We got Martin ordained, Sir. It's amazing what you can do online.

Thank you, boys. You really are best men.

She's here, sir.

Good luck.

# I only dreamed that I would find

# A loving heart, an open mind

# To see the real me and I hoped that you would be the one. #

Wunderbar! You look beautiful, darling!

# A chance to talk A chance to grow. #

You look...

beautiful, Miss Spray.

Thank you, Mr Nasal.

Beautiful flowers.

Ah...

Ah...

Thank you.

We are gathered here today to celebrate the marriage of

our two science teachers and friends.

-BOTH:

-Aww.

# So I'm talking just as fast as I can to you

# Suddenly every part of me

# Needs to know every part of you. #

And now for the rings.

The rings.

The rings!

GASPS

Delivery for Mr Nasal?

Delivery man!

Oh, thank you!

Perfect.

I now pronounce you husband and wife.

You may now kiss the bride.

Ah...

Ah...

GASPS

Achoo!

Achoo!

Achoo!

Achoo!

Achoo!

GIGGLING

Great!

See? Just a perfectly ordinary school.

See you next year.

# Suddenly you're seeing me

# Just the way I am

# Suddenly you're hearing me

# So I'm talking

# Just as fast as I can to you. #

BELL RINGS