ESP Dani's House


ESP

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Transcript


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-Have you finished the report on human biology, Coordinator Zak?

-Sorry.

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Yes, I have just finished it.

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Did you know that humans only use 10% of their brains?

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Hah - such a waste of potential!

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Indeed, I make sure I'm using the full 100% of my brain at all times.

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What are you doing, Coordinator?

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Trying to lick my elbow.

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May I ask why?

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Ah, I leant in some mayonnaise while trying to make a snack.

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Maybe if I try it very fast...

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That's odd behaviour for someone who claims to use all their brain matter.

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I never said I used it for anything useful.

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-Oh! Dani's House is about to start.

-Oh!

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-I've got it! Maybe you could lick it for me?

-Oh, get it away from me!

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HE LAUGHS

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Hi! My name's Dani,

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and this is my fantastic new...

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Best friend Jack!

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Yeah, but... Oh, where was I?

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Your name's Dani,

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and I'm her best friend too, Sam.

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As I was saying, this is my fantastic new...

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-Max!

-I'm her brother,

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and actually it's... Ben...

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What? Oh, it's OUR show...

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Can you just zip it?!

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As I was saying, my name's Dani, and this is my fantastic...

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THE OTHERS SHOUT

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I give up!

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It's not your show...

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Hey, you! You're just in time.

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Sam's got a major new science project she's about to unveil.

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With any luck, it'll be a machine that transports evil little brothers

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to the far side of the universe.

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Although, thinking about it...

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my evil little brother's weirdly been quiet for the past few days.

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He's probably coming up with some big new idea to mess with my head.

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I'm completely out of ideas.

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-We could put electric eels in Dani's bed.

-Done it.

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We could make her think she's travelled back in time

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to the Renaissance court of King Louis XIV of France.

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Done it.

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We could tell her we bought her a lovely pony.

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But when we give it to her, it turns out to be a horrible, smelly pony

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with sour breath, stinking hooves and a bad attitude.

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This is hopeless.

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I've never struggled to find new ways to irritate my sister before.

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It's called the hypothalamus!

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And I keep telling you, it's pronounced hippopotamus!

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The hypothalamus is the region of the brain

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that controls your sleep patterns.

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What are you two banging on about?

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I'm trying to explain to Jack how I'm going to prove

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-the activation-synthesis hypothesis of dream patterns.

-Did you get that?

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Mostly just sounded like...

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HE SPEAKS GOBBLEDEGOOK

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It's the theory that our dreams are influenced

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by things we've seen and experienced during the day.

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Got you! Like that time I got bit on the nose by a parrot.

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That night I had a dream that my nose hatched and a parrot flew out.

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Exactly. And this is how I'm going to prove it.

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Behold! My masterwork.

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Oh! A giant electric cauliflower.

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It's a model of the human brain.

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Subject wears the helmet, the brain lights up...

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..displaying their neural pathways.

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-Displaying the what?

-How the brain works. Observe.

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Practical and fashionable.

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All I need is a guinea pig.

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-Dani will do it.

-Thanks, Dani. I knew I could count on you.

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Have a seat.

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I'm entering the brain machine

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-into Tech Fad's Junior Scientist of the Year competition.

-Oooh.

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Guys, guys! Check it out.

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My brain's got rhythm, baby.

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ELECTRONIC BEEPING

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It's not a toy!

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What would happen if you used that thing on someone with psychic powers

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who could see into the future?

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Nothing, because there's no such thing as psychic powers.

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Not according to Weird Sphere,

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the magazine for everyone interested in the world of the paranormal.

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-You're not still reading that, are you?

-What if I am?

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The world is frightening enough as it is

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without adding another layer of make-believe scary.

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I can do without thinking about ghosts and psychic weirdos

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and monsters under my bed.

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And they all lived happily ever after.

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Well, good night, Fuzzy Bear.

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Psst!

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Shhh!

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Was that you, Fuzzy Bear?

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Psst! Down here!

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Hello.

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SHE SCREAMS

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I only wanted to ask if you could switch the light back on.

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I'm really scared of the dark.

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Mummy!

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HE WHIMPERS

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The paranormal is real.

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There's tons of evidence that some people can read minds,

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-or predict the future.

-What evidence?

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There's no such thing as a sixth sense,

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or ghosts, or the Loch Ness Monster.

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-Well... Then how do you explain Littlefoot?

-Who?

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The British cousin to the famous Bigfoot. Check out these photos.

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That could be a shadow from a tree

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or light refracting through dust motes.

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-You're just seeing what you want to see, Jack.

-Oh, you people!

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Your minds are just so closed off.

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My mind is very open - to cold, hard scientific fact.

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Now, try this on, Dani.

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And eat a piece of this.

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Cheese?

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ALL: Cheese!

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Yes, cheese will help you dream more vividly.

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Now, take a look at these pictures.

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If my theory is correct, then these images

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should be absorbed by your subconscious, in time for your nap.

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-But it's the middle of the day. What if I can't sleep?

-Count sheep?

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-That never really works.

-Try counting Littlefoots.

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One Littlefoot, two Littlefoot...

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I'll stick with sheep.

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One sheep, two sheep, three sheep..

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SHE SNORES

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Now to monitor Dani's subconscious mind.

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Where are my ideas going to come from now?

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Maybe my life as a scheming, annoying little brother

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is at an end.

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I'm a spent force.

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We could go and eavesdrop on Dani.

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I've got it! We'll eavesdrop on Dani.

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-Might give me some inspiration.

-Great idea, Max.

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I'll practise my best eavesdropping pose.

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I'm liking it. Let's roll.

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-Ben, how are you doing that?

-I don't know!

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I think she's waking up.

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You can't tell that from looking at a bunch of flashing lights.

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Uh-uh!

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Whoa, how long was I asleep for?

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Long enough for me to record some interesting data!

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And for me to get bored!

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Now, do you remember what you dreamt about?

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-It was weird. I was on the phone.

-OK.

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-And the person on the other end was asking about my hair.

-Keep going!

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And then it started snowing even though the sun was shining outside.

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Yes! The hypothesis worked!

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-Surely it's just a load of random dream nonsense.

-It's not random.

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It's exactly what I'm trying to prove. Look...

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Phone. Hair. Snow.

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-Well, I also dreamt about something else.

-Well, go on.

-The doorbell rang

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and there was this gorilla thing at the door, delivering pizza.

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And get this - it was wearing a cowboy hat.

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-Oh.

-What did it look like?

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I can't believe I'm about to say this, but

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-it looked like that Littlefoot thing in your magazine.

-Oh, really?

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It's hardly a surprise, Jack.

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You wouldn't shut up about Littlefoot before Dani fell asleep.

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It all fits in with my theory.

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Science, one, weird spooky stuff, nil.

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Yay!

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Welcome to the Sceptics Web Cast.

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We delve deep into the world of the paranormal

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in a bid to prove that it's all just a load of old rubbish.

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With me this week is amateur monster hunter Mr Richard Moonig.

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Now, I believe you recently had an encounter with a mermaid.

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That's right. Yeah.

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I was out fishing and I felt something wriggling in my net.

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I'd been searching for monsters me whole life.

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When I pulled it out of the water...

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..I knew I'd finally found one.

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Tell us how you knew.

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Well, its bottom half was like the tail...of a fish!

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And its top half?

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Was like, eh... the top half of a fish.

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So this mermaid had the bottom half of a fish?

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Yep.

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And the top half of a fish?

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Correct.

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So how did you know it was a mermaid and not a fish?

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Because it spoke to me.

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What did it say?

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MAKES FISH NOISE

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Get out.

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-But...

-Out. Get out!

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Weird dreams are often a sign

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that the person dreaming them is a psychic.

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Utter guff.

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Some dreams are even predictions of future events.

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Except Littlefoot doesn't exist. He's not real.

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There's no way Dani's dream could come true.

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Besides, I don't want to be psychic. Hearing voices in my head,

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predicting the future. Ugh, it creeps me out.

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I'm happy being normal, thanks.

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I can feel the inspiration flooding back.

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-There's the Max I know!

-Why, thank you, Ben.

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I've missed me too.

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So, how are we going to wind up Dani? What's the plan?

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We'll make her think she's an abnormal psychic freak, of course.

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Of course.

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PHONE RINGS

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Hello.

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Is that Dani?

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Yeah, this is Dani.

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This is Ben. Uh...Ben, Ben...

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..Ben Name.

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Ben Name. Ben-um. Bob Benum!

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-Bob Benum?

-That's right.

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Mr Bob Benum of the National Bureau of Hair Studies.

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We're conducting a survey on the nation's hair habits

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and we'd like to ask you a few questions.

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What kind of questions?

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Do you suffer from premature balding and overly flaky scalp?

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Have you ever entangled your hair in a cake mixer?

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Do you feel your hair has lost its natural joie de vivre?

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That was Bob Benum from the National Bureau of Hair Studies.

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-He asked me loads of questions about my hair.

-What?

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-Like the ones in your dream?

-It's purely coincidence, nothing more.

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My perky butt, it's a coincidence!

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Dani has had a psychic experience.

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I dreamt that it snowed too.

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If I had a premonition, explain to me why it's not snowing right now.

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What?

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It can't be!

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It's just freak weather. Right, Sam?

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Right. I mean, there's all kinds of meteorological reasons.

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Anything from low pressure caused by

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a mid-Atlantic extra-tropical cyclone

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to moist atmospheric conditions dislodging an Arctic air mass.

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Exactly.

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It's snowing and you predicted it, Dani. Or should I call you...

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..Spooky Psychic Girl?

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This is priceless, Ben!

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She's actually going to think she's predicted a snow shower!

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Ben, are you eating the fake snow?

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No.

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What am I thinking right now?

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That you're hungry and want another sandwich?

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That settles it.

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Sam, she can read people's thoughts.

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Jack, you're always hungry and you always want another sandwich.

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Not always. Sometimes I want a bag of crisps.

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-Or a pork pie.

-I know how to really settle this.

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We'll strap you back in the brain machine

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and see if there's any unusual activity going on in your head.

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Works for me.

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All normal. Nothing to indicate that Dani is a psychic.

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Well, maybe your stupid machine is broken. Did you think of that?

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Deal with it, Jack.

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If I'm psychic, where's the ape man in the cowboy hat carrying a pizza?

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Excellent point, Dani.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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Oooh. Actually, can one of you guys answer that?

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I don't want anyone to see me wearing this.

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DOORBELL RINGS

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All right! Keep your hair on.

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Sam! Are you still...?

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Sam?

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Huh!

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Littlefoot!

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Oh, no!

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Littlefoot!

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Oh. Sam! Sam, are you OK?

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Sam, talk to me!

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-What happened?

-It was Littlefoot. He was here.

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He was wearing a cowboy hat, delivering a pizza.

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Just like in your dream.

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Don't be ridiculous!

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Sam, tell him I'm not psychic.

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Sam?

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Sam!

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-Did it work?

-You make the perfect ape man.

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Why do you own a gorilla mask, by the way?

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I wear it at night to keep the night monkeys away.

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Night monkeys?

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You don't get visits from the night monkeys?

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-No.

-Maybe it's just me, then.

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Coordinator Zarg, you're missing Dani's House.

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Dani's House can wait. I'm busy with my new hobby.

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Isn't stargazing a bit pointless when you're already in space?

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On the contrary, Coordinator. I've identified a brand new planet.

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A new planet? Well, let me see!

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I shall call it Zang's World.

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Ensuring my name will be remembered for all eternity.

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You do realise that Zang's World

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is actually just a smear of dirt on the window of our spacecraft?

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What?!

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If you'd cleaned the spacecraft properly, like I'd asked,

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this never would have happened.

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Never mind, Coordinator. You could just name the bit of dirt. Call it...

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..Zang's Smear.

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SHE LAUGHS

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Zang's Smear!

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It can't have been Littlefoot. There has to be some rational explanation.

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I've been so wrong.

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About what?

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Everything.

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My whole life up until this point has been rooted in scientific fact.

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Still is, isn't it?

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If Littlefoot is real and you're a psychic,

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what else have I been wrong about? Maths, physics, chemistry?

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Maybe it's a whole load of rubbish.

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I don't know what to believe any more.

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-Believe in this, Sam.

-No!

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Sam, look, shake yourself out of this.

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You've still got to finish your project for the competition.

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Goodbye, science, old friend.

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No!

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What have we missed?

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Look, now's not a good time, just go away.

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-Don't know why we're here?

-To annoy me.

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-Dani, how did you know that?

-Because he always annoys me.

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Are you sure you didn't have a vision of me annoying you?

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-Look, you're annoying me now, just like I said you would.

-Gasp!

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-Just like in your vision.

-What vision?

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-That was too weird.

-You knew exactly what Max was going to do.

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Oh... Look! I'm not psychic and I'm going to prove it to both of you.

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Somehow.

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Next on Sceptic Web Cast,

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We investigate the world of psychic phenomena.

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With me now is Lisa Treeboise,

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who claims to hear psychic voices in her head.

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Welcome, Lisa.

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-FOOTBALL CROWD CHANTS

-Pardon?

-I said, welcome.

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Sorry, it's just sometimes the psychic voices are a bit too loud.

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Tell me, what do these psychic spirits say to you?

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Right now they're telling me that...

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..Drogba's just missed a free kick.

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I beg your pardon?

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The voices, they're coming through louder and louder.

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Cole passes it to Lampard, Lampard feeds it to Drogba,

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and Drogba scores!

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GOOAAAL!

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-You're listening to a football match.

-Pardon?

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FOOTBALL CROWD STOPS

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The voices - they've stopped!

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I'm free, I'm free!

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Oh, oh!

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Get out.

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I just want everyone to think I'm normal again.

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So there was something at the door wearing a cowboy hat!

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OK, it doesn't mean it was Littlefoot.

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The rodeo could be in town, or a door-to-door cowboy, or...

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SHE SIGHS

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It's working. But I thought Dani would be a gibbering wreck by now.

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I could dress up as Littlefoot again?

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If we keep doing it, we risk being caught.

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But how else will we convince her that Littlefoot's real?

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Perhaps we don't need to go for a full Littlefoot sighting.

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Leave the fake snow alone! What have I told you?

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-That it's bad for me?

-Exactly.

0:18:460:18:49

You've totally broadened my horizons.

0:18:530:18:56

I feel there's this veil of smoke

0:18:560:18:59

that's just been lifted from my eyes, man.

0:18:590:19:02

I'm liking this more open-minded Sam.

0:19:020:19:04

Cryptozoology,

0:19:040:19:06

astral channelling,

0:19:060:19:07

the study of crop circles.

0:19:070:19:10

Those are my beliefs now.

0:19:100:19:12

Right, then. Have we got everything we need?

0:19:120:19:15

Divining rods?

0:19:150:19:17

Check.

0:19:180:19:19

Dreamcatcher?

0:19:190:19:20

Check!

0:19:220:19:23

Chakra stones?

0:19:230:19:25

Check.

0:19:250:19:27

I found this.

0:19:270:19:29

Now do you believe that Littlefoot is real?

0:19:310:19:33

I don't know what to believe in.

0:19:330:19:36

Whoa, what...?

0:19:360:19:39

What's that around your neck?

0:19:390:19:41

My healing crystals.

0:19:410:19:43

Weird Sphere says it totally harmonises my chakra.

0:19:430:19:46

Your what?

0:19:460:19:47

My chakra. Hello?

0:19:470:19:49

Energy centres.

0:19:500:19:53

What's happened to you?

0:19:530:19:54

I'm forging a new path.

0:19:540:19:56

We're going on a Littlefoot hunt.

0:19:580:20:00

Ooooh. Oooh.

0:20:010:20:06

Max, do I have to do this?

0:20:060:20:08

It's making me feel all funny.

0:20:080:20:09

Give it here.

0:20:090:20:10

Ugh.

0:20:120:20:13

Ugh.

0:20:150:20:17

Voila!

0:20:210:20:22

Littlefoot feet.

0:20:220:20:25

SPOOKY MUSIC

0:20:250:20:28

Ooooh! Look!

0:20:290:20:31

Littlefoot hair.

0:20:330:20:35

This proves it!

0:20:350:20:36

Jack, look, footprints!

0:20:360:20:38

Little footprints.

0:20:380:20:39

Littlefoot must have returned here.

0:20:390:20:41

Maybe he's still in the house.

0:20:410:20:44

I don't believe it.

0:20:440:20:46

We've done it, Ben. She thinks Littlefoot is real.

0:20:490:20:52

Hmm.

0:20:540:20:57

I really don't believe it.

0:20:570:21:00

With me now is Terence Toothpastry,

0:21:030:21:07

the man who claims to have been bitten by a werewolf.

0:21:070:21:11

Terence, describe the incident to me.

0:21:110:21:13

Well, I'm a postman, you see.

0:21:130:21:17

And I was delivering mail to this house when I heard a snarling sound.

0:21:170:21:21

Like a wild animal! From behind the door.

0:21:210:21:25

Anyway, I put the mail through the letterbox when, woof!

0:21:250:21:29

Something bit my hand.

0:21:290:21:30

And you think this is a werewolf?

0:21:300:21:32

Well, of course. What else could it be?

0:21:320:21:35

A dog?

0:21:350:21:36

Oh, yeah.

0:21:360:21:38

Didn't think about that.

0:21:380:21:40

I might have known. Get out of my studio!

0:21:430:21:46

HE HOWLS

0:21:460:21:48

Get out!

0:21:480:21:50

Get out!

0:21:520:21:53

Right, who's next?

0:21:530:21:55

Out.

0:21:580:22:00

Ho-ho! Littlefoot trashed the kitchen!

0:22:110:22:14

A-ma-zing!

0:22:140:22:17

He must've been, like, really hungry.

0:22:170:22:21

That's my kind of ape man.

0:22:210:22:22

OK, this is what we're going to do.

0:22:220:22:26

Wait! What if Littlefoot's a vegetarian?

0:22:320:22:34

If I'm right, Littlefoot will be an omnivore.

0:22:340:22:37

Hmm. That's interesting.

0:22:370:22:40

I knew it!

0:22:460:22:47

Sam? Jack, where are you?

0:22:470:22:51

-He's coming, somebody's coming.

-I can prove to you that I'm not a...

0:22:510:22:54

Ouch, ow!

0:22:540:22:56

Aaaah!

0:22:560:22:58

Yes, we caught him! We caught him, Sam!

0:22:580:23:00

We caught Littlefoot! Call the papers.

0:23:000:23:03

Call the news channels. Call the internet. We're going to be famous!

0:23:030:23:06

Jack, that's not Littlefoot.

0:23:060:23:08

-Too right I'm not Littlefoot!

-Easy mistake to make.

-Whatever.

0:23:100:23:13

I have proof that I'm not psychic.

0:23:130:23:16

What kind of proof?

0:23:160:23:17

-The scientific kind.

-Ha-ha! You did science?

0:23:170:23:20

Dani, I've told you. I've realised that science is just

0:23:200:23:24

a desperate refuge for the closed-minded.

0:23:240:23:27

I'm not asking you to believe in science again.

0:23:270:23:29

I'm asking you to believe in your best friend.

0:23:290:23:32

OK.

0:23:320:23:34

I'm listening.

0:23:340:23:36

So, I tested the hair that Sam found in the door frame

0:23:360:23:40

and it turns out it was artificial.

0:23:400:23:42

You mean Littlefoot has artificial fur?

0:23:420:23:46

I had a sneaking feeling I'd seen that shade of fur before.

0:23:460:23:49

So, I went to get a clipping from my mum's fake-fur coat

0:23:490:23:52

but the coat was missing.

0:23:520:23:53

What? And you think Littlefoot stole it?

0:23:530:23:55

In a way, yeah.

0:23:550:23:56

There was a trail of fake-fur coat leading from my mum's wardrobe...

0:23:560:24:00

..to this door.

0:24:000:24:01

Max's bedroom.

0:24:030:24:04

-See where I'm going with this?

-Dani, please.

0:24:040:24:06

I'm really liking this new Sam. Don't do this to us.

0:24:060:24:10

Too late, it's already done.

0:24:100:24:12

Um... Dani, aaah!

0:24:150:24:17

Help, help! Littlefoot's in here!

0:24:170:24:19

He's trying to attack me!

0:24:190:24:21

What?

0:24:210:24:22

Give it up, Max.

0:24:220:24:24

I know what you've been up to.

0:24:240:24:26

So Ben was Littlefoot all along?

0:24:270:24:29

Well, that still doesn't explain how you dreamt this would happen, Dani.

0:24:290:24:33

Or the snow, or the phone call from the Bureau of Hair Studies.

0:24:330:24:36

Ah, the snow.

0:24:360:24:38

My elevenses!

0:24:380:24:40

And I wouldn't be surprised to find our number on Max's mobile.

0:24:400:24:44

-Let me guess. It was the last number you called?

-All right, I admit it.

0:24:440:24:47

I overheard you talking about your dream

0:24:470:24:49

and wanted to make you think you were a psychic freak.

0:24:490:24:52

-But you didn't pull it off, did you?

-No.

0:24:520:24:54

But I fooled your friends pretty good.

0:24:540:24:57

I'd say a partial success.

0:24:570:24:59

I wouldn't be too pleased with yourself.

0:24:590:25:01

Now you've admitted it, you've got to put the kitchen back to rights.

0:25:010:25:05

Unless you want me to tell Mum and Dad what you did, of course?

0:25:050:25:08

Did you manage to fix the brain machine?

0:25:180:25:20

No need to. A good scientist always backs up her data.

0:25:200:25:23

I submitted it last night to the judging panel.

0:25:230:25:26

-It's good to have you back.

-It's good to be back.

0:25:260:25:28

What about you, Jack?

0:25:280:25:29

Still putting all your faith in ridiculous paranormal nonsense?

0:25:290:25:33

Are you kidding?

0:25:330:25:34

If it's that easy for a couple of prize plums

0:25:340:25:36

like Max and Ben to fake Littlefoot, anyone could do it.

0:25:360:25:39

No, this magazine's a load of rubbish.

0:25:390:25:41

From now on, I'm sticking to more reliable sources of information.

0:25:410:25:46

Oh, I wonder what my horoscope says today.

0:25:460:25:49

How sad that another series of Dani's House must come to a close.

0:25:490:25:54

I will miss Dani, Sam and Jack.

0:25:540:25:57

THEY WHIMPER

0:25:570:26:00

Wait. We've still got our teleporter, Coordinator Zak.

0:26:030:26:07

We could beam Dani and her friends up to the ship.

0:26:070:26:11

But that would contravene galactic regulations!

0:26:110:26:14

-Stuff the regulations.

-You can't do this!

-Why?

0:26:140:26:16

-I can!

-No!

-Aaah!

-Ah!

0:26:160:26:20

Hmm. It says I'll be going on a journey to a faraway place.

0:26:200:26:24

Yeah, I know. Load of guff.

0:26:260:26:28

SPOOKY MUSIC

0:26:290:26:31

What's happening?

0:26:310:26:32

-Aaah!

-Oof!

0:26:380:26:40

Where are we?

0:26:400:26:42

Are we in space?

0:26:430:26:45

ALL: Aaaaah!

0:26:470:26:49

Uh...uh...

0:26:490:26:51

I'm sending you back immediately!

0:26:530:26:55

Wait! At least tell us your...

0:26:550:27:00

ELECTRONIC BLEEPING

0:27:010:27:03

There, I've sent them back to Earth and erased their memories.

0:27:030:27:06

-They'll never remember a thing.

-Spoilsport!

0:27:060:27:09

ALARM RINGS

0:27:090:27:12

What's the alarm?

0:27:120:27:13

-Oh, teleporter malfunction.

-Ah.

0:27:130:27:17

Oh, I feel really weird.

0:27:280:27:30

I feel like I've been dragged through

0:27:300:27:32

a molecular disassembler backwards.

0:27:320:27:34

Uh, guys. What's happened to our clothes?

0:27:340:27:37

ALL: Ugh!

0:27:370:27:39

I wish you'd wear bigger knickers.

0:27:390:27:42

Ugh!

0:27:420:27:45

BOTH: Ugh!

0:27:450:27:47

BOTH: Aaah!

0:27:470:27:48

THEY LAUGH

0:27:480:27:50

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

0:27:550:28:00

# Let's lift these chains

0:28:000:28:02

# Let's ride this wave right out to sea

0:28:020:28:07

# I will be

0:28:070:28:11

# Breaking free. #

0:28:110:28:14

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