Buddy Movie Dani's House

And... Action!

Greetings, Commander! This is our report of what we know about Earth.

Cut! Why have you stopped?

I didn't know what to say! You're wiggling the camera like a hyperactive toddler!

Tell them about our work! The research, experiments.

Except the one with the duck and the vacuum cleaner. That didn't go well.

Why not?

VACUUM WHIRRS

Oh.

But we haven't really done any work.

We've enjoyed ourselves watching Dani's house.

We can't say that! Commander Zealth will hang us by our toe claws.

What should I say then?

Make something up.

Action!

Hi. My name's Dani. And this is my fantastic...

..best friend Jack.

-Oh, where was I?

-Your name's Dani. I'm her best friend too.

As I was saying, this is my fantastic... Max!

I'm her brother and actually it's... Ben?

What? Oh, it's our show.

Can you just zip it!

As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my fantastic...

I give up!

SINGS ALONG

Hi! How was the audition?

Well, I was late, I learned the wrong part,

and I spilt tea over the director.

Apart from that, it was great.

"Belle Charlotte and the Amber Amulet."

Hmm. Weird. That's the same title as Belle Charlotte's next movie.

-It is Belle Charlotte's next movie.

-No way! I'm her biggest fan!

Being in one of her movies could make someone's career.

I mean, literally millions of people...

have probably never heard of her.

Thanks. I didn't think it was possible, but now I feel worse.

Never mind. Her movies are a bit cliched.

-I bet we could tell you the plot without even looking.

-You're on.

Belle Charlotte is a tough secret agent.

And her buddy is a ditzy professor.

-They're like chalk and cheese.

-But together, they save the world!

You're right. It is a bit silly.

-What part did you go up for?

-Daisy Pendragon, dinosaur expert.

-Palaeontologist?

-Who the what now?

It's the word for a dinosaur expert.

Not laughing at you.

PHONE RINGS Cue my agent with the bad news.

Hello?

Don't tell me, I didn't get the part. Yeah.

Right.

OK. Bye.

They said thanks for coming and everything but I got the part.

Never mind. There'll be other auditions.

Wait. Did you say...

I got the part!

I got the part!

I'm going to be in a movie with Belle Charlotte!

Ooh!

Hello? Anybody?

-Any chance you could untie me? Hello?

-Hi.

Shh! Are you Daisy Pendragon, famous palaeontologist?

No. I'm Daisy Pendragon, traffic warden.

-Sorry to bother you.

-Wait! Come back!

-That is me.

-Great. I need your help.

So what happened?

I was studying this unusual idol over here

and the local tribe thought I was stealing it. It's very sacred.

-Get down.

-Fine. What will that do?

-Get down!

I'm Belle Charlotte. Secret Intelligence Agency. I'm here to rescue you.

-How super of you!

-Ever heard of someone called Deevil?

-Dr Deevil? Dr Malik Deevil?

-Yeah.

-No.

-Oh.

-My chopper's here.

-Oh, how utterly exciting!

I've got a feeling my life is never going to be the same again!

I understand it'll be hard work.

Ten days filming in Mauritius and then off to New York!

-Yep. OK. Costume fitting. Got it.

-She wants a Jacuzzi in her trailer!

-And her own sea plane!

-Do you mind? ..Sorry.

Really?! I can take... Only just...

But... Right.

OK. Bye!

Oh, let me guess. You're allergic to white sands and palm trees!

No. It's just I thought I might get lonely.

-So my agent asked if I can bring a friend.

-A friend?

Just one?

OK. Well, I guess I'll just have to choose.

You think it's so cool just cos you're in the school soccer team!

Not so brave now, are you, now we're behind this big door!

-That told them.

-Yeah.

Why did they follow us home?

They like picking on someone cleverer and less ugly than them!

There's no way I'm going out there until they leave.

Luckily we've got your new Haunted Space Cruiser 3 game, to pass the time.

Oh, no! It must have fallen out!

That's not how you spell "hostage"!

-What are they doing?

-Having a kick about.

Least they've forgotten my new game.

-Afraid not. That's what they're using as a ball!

-What?!

-I've got to get it back.

-If we go out there, they'll bang us into the ground and use us as goalposts!

I know that. There comes a time, Ben, where we have to stand up and be counted.

Well, you do. It's your game.

Are we prisoners in our own house?

-And it's your house.

-Fine. All right. I'll go on my own.

I'm going. I'm nearly gone.

I hope they don't make me tell them where you live.

OK. Wait up. I'll come with you.

OK, if you insist. We've got to face them some time.

Come on.

OK, we're agreed. We're not going to fight over who goes with Dani.

-No. Course not.

-It would be silly and undignified.

-Right.

She's obviously going to pick me.

What? You need someone relaxing to be with on a film set.

Someone to keep you prepared and chilled.

Dani's not a ready meal! Anyway, I am relaxing.

Like a cat at a mad dogs' convention!

-You're more like Daisy in the script.

-Intelligent? Likeable?

Accident waiting to happen.

OK, Max? Dani catch you in her room again?

This gang chased me and Ben. School football hooligans.

-I hate when idiots follow the school team.

-They ARE the school team.

We didn't think we'd get away, did we, Ben?

Ben?

Yeah, he's right behind...me.

Oh, no! They must have got Ben!

Oh, well. Soon as he opens his mouth, they'll realise he's harmless.

You still shouldn't have left him.

I wouldn't leave Dani even if she was going to Mauritius and New York.

You should always stand by a friend. Like in Dani's film.

Daisy comes back to rescue Belle.

Page 79, scene 63, line five.

What? I've been checking Dani's script, like any friend would.

Any friend after the holiday of a lifetime!

I'd love to save Ben, but it's not like the movies.

In real life, these fights actually hurt.

Hi. I'm Professor Pendragon, and I am an expert pal-e-lologist.

Pale-tologist.

Pa-lilly-ologist.

I am an expert in dinosaur behaviour.

-These are for you. They're from Belle.

-They're gorgeous!

"Dear Dani, congratulations. I can't wait to start working together. Love, Belle."

-She signed it herself!

-Her PA did it or she'd be signing photos all day.

-I have to thank her.

-You already did.

-I did?

-Well, I did, actually.

I thought you need some personal assistance from you pal.

Your P-A-al!

-I mean, what are friends for? Especially super-efficient friends like me.

-Thanks.

A good PA takes organisation, focus and an almost pathological attention to detail.

-Someone who knows all your likes and dislikes.

-I wouldn't need a PA with you around.

-Funny you should say that...

-Excuse me.

-Can I borrow Dani for a second?

-Er...

-Thanks.

Wow! What's all this?

A crawling net, a climbing wall

and a running machine.

If you're going to be in an action movie, you need to get in shape.

-She won't do her own stunts.

-But she needs to look like she could.

-True.

-That's where I come in.

Not only your mate, but also your personal trainer.

Allow me to demonstrate.

DISCO MUSIC

-What's all this in aid of?

-Oh, you laugh?

Sometime in this movie, I guarantee you will fall in a pit of snakes.

Amazing. It's when Belle and Daisy go looking for the amber amulet.

Page 42, scene 35, line eight.

-Daisy has to crawl over a snake pit.

-See? What did I tell you?

Now, a snake is crawling up your arm.

You freeze! Make scared eyes!

Ssssss! Wait for it!

-And now!

-Aghh!

-Excellent.

-Really?

About you needing an awesome PA.

I'm happy to take on the job. Luckily for you, I'm free.

Guys, you've both been so helpful.

It'll be so hard to choose between you.

Being famous is such a massive responsibility!

-Must be really tough(!)

-What did you say?

He meant being famous is an awesome responsibility.

-DOORBELL

-Max! Max, it's me!

My game!

-It's all right.

-I'm fine. Thanks for asking(!)

I was about to come looking for you. Did they duff you in?

They're a football team, not the Mafia!

We hung out for a bit, after you ran off.

I didn't run off. It was a...calculated retreat.

Why are you wearing a tracksuit?

Isn't it cool? They lent me a spare school strip.

Super! Stripes are really you!

The lads gave me some great ball tips. Watch this!

MATCH OF THE DAY THEME TUNE

Wow. You can keep a ball off the ground with your feet.

Come on, Rooney. Let's go play Haunted Space Cruiser 3.

Just what you need after your ordeal.

Maybe later. First, I'm off for a kick-about with the lads. Want to come?

Do I look like I want to come?

Um... No.

OK. Well, see you later!

-Action!

-Hey, there, Zealthy, baby. Listen up.

We've got a report that will really curl your antennae!

Cut!

Your performance is a little OTT. Can you pull it back?

Oh, you do it, then! Action!

Humans live for several thousand years

and mainly eat mice and cough sweets.

That's rubbish!

Humans wear eye coverings to avoid seeing each other

because they're hideously ugly and look like bottoms.

Cut!

Come on! Use your elbows!

Come on! Work it, Dani! Work it! Don't drop the amulet!

Daisy's a bit clueless when they hide in the jungle.

-I don't want to be too good.

-Don't worry about that!

If you like I can show you how to panic when you get stuck in quicksand.

When we get to Mauritius, I will make sure...

She likes loads of leg room. She'll need a separate room just for her legs. Fab.

Welcome party TBA. ASAP.

Yeah. BBFN. Mwa! Mwa!

I've sorted your itinerary, started packing and faxed the chef your triple D's.

Her triple D's?

-Diet sheet do's and don'ts. These are from Belle.

-Ooh, muffins!

"I've seen all your work and just love it. XX, Belle."

-I should send her something back.

-It's done.

-I sent her a big chocolate dinosaur bone.

-You did?

-Why?

-Because you're a palaeontologist!

That was clever of me!

-What are you doing?

-Too sugary.

Belle wants to have a whiter Hollywood smile than you.

She wouldn't do that - would she?

See? You'd just be like a babe in the woods over there.

That's why you need me.

That is it!

You're so transparent it's embarrassing!

-What happened to no fighting?

-Let's ask Dani's personal dietary fairy!

-Fake-o-saurus!

-Stressaholic!

Whoa! Whoa, guys.

This is about me, isn't it?

It's really hard to pick between you two.

I love Jack's workouts. We have so much fun.

And he plays cutting-edge tunes.

But Sam is an amazing PA.

She knows what I need before I do.

If only I could tear each of you in half and assemble one person with all the bits.

Muffin?

Excusey!

Max, are you training to be a traffic cone?

No.

Where's the other guy? You know, lights on, nobody home.

-Ben?

-That's the one. How come you're not hanging out with him?

He's with his new football friends.

Probably having a really boring time.

You mean...like you?

I'm not bored! Want some help?

I could untangle some ropes.

Or tangle them up again.

Look, Ben's just trying something new.

Why don't you take up a sport the two of you can do together?

No... Actually, that's a really good idea.

-But what?

-Well, um, rugby.

-Too violent.

-Cricket?

-Too tedious!

-Show jumping?

Yes!

Wait - no horse.

Still, I'll think of something.

# There's only one Holcas Avenue!

# Everybody's A team!

# There's only one Holcas Avenue!

# Everybody's A team! #

Hey, Max!

Shh! I'm practising my putting.

Since when do you play golf?

I've been playing for ages. Since I was about three or four.

Why does your golf outfit still have the store tags on?

Um... New season's kit.

Here, check out my Mashie Niblick.

Yeah. It's nice. Shiny.

See, golf's more refined than football.

It's about you and your caddy, in it together.

Much better than a bunch of wannabe Beckhams hacking you in the shins.

Putter.

You see? You form a close bond with your caddy over time.

Get to know each other's foibles. Share the good and the bad.

-It's almost...

-Telepathic?

-Exactly.

-I think I see what you mean.

Great! Let's grab my golf bag, my flask of cocoa and let's hit the fairway!

No, I'd rather play football.

I'll have plenty of time for golf when I'm retired. See ya!

OK.

New day, new way of working.

Here, have some hydration delivery fluid.

Tastes like water.

It's sports water.

See? It's not only Sam that can be all sciencey and efficient.

I'm the complete package.

-Your perfect friend.

-Can't we do the bit where I go looking for Belle

-and get caught in a trap by the baddy, Deevil?

-No.

Oh. How about some cool tunes?

Oh, good idea.

MUSIC BLARES OUT

-What is this?

-Wagner. Ride of the Valkyries.

Best thing for a real gutsy workout. Come on!

Aghh!

Good! Climbing builds strength.

-And helps me get away from you.

-Work on your grip.

I'm not the one losing their grip, Dr Deevil! I mean, Jack.

OK. Isometric stretching.

Right, come on!

OK. Ready?

And, one, two,

three, f...

-Come on! You're not even trying!

-I don't want to do this any more.

-It's boring and you're a bully.

-Maybe I went a bit too far.

-A bit?

If you're going to be like this, I know who I'll take to Mauritius!

Sam!

Ciao, ciao.

Bella. Bella.

-Sam?

-Bruno, Stella. I'm loving the mohair ponchos. I'll call you back.

Yeah. OK. Laters!

-What have you got on?

-This? It's a chabu. Very on trend.

-I was calling my mates in fashion.

-You haven't got any mates in fashion.

-I do now.

I blagged some outfits that are totally cutting edge.

It's not only Jack who has his finger on the pulse.

Though I, of course, offer so much more. How about...

..sheggings. Leggings with shoes.

And what about this? It's a slat.

-Hat with sleeves!

-Why... Um, why?

Because it's fun. Look. Wheeee!

OK. Look, I don't really want to lose my own style. Check this out.

Found this in a charity shop.

Where are all my clothes?

-I've edited your wardrobe.

-Edited it? Looks like you vacuumed it!

Don't worry. You'll get new clothes in Hollywood.

What am I supposed to wear until then? A slat?

I've had a terrible workout with Jack. You chucked my clothes away.

I have lines to learn and I still can't say pelli-lolligy.

-Palaeontologist.

-Is a bit of co-operation too much to ask for?

-OK, OK.

-You're starting to make me think Jack should be my go with guy.

And don't forget who the star is around here.

Come on, Belle. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

DOORBELL

Hi, Dani.

I'm sorry I pushed you too hard.

Jack. Eyes before mouth. Can't you see what I'm doing?

Oh, rehearsing. Sorry.

Where have you been, anyway?

-I got some stuff for your favourite smoothie.

-About time.

I'm trying to build a character here, Jack.

I need to get under Daisy's skin.

She's hurt and traumatised, with the burden of saving the planet on her shoulders.

-It is a huge strain on me. Do you know what this means?

-You need your smoothie on time.

-Chop-chop.

You were the one who told me this.

So don't quit on me now.

No, I don't want a mini-cab. Please get off the line!

Sam! Eyes, mouth. I was in the middle of my big speech.

You left the lid off again!

Cushion me.

DOORBELL

Ow! Jack!

She threw it at me!

Sorry, Dani.

From Belle.

Oh! What did I send her?

Nothing.

-Nothing?!

-It's only just arrived.

Come on, people, we're getting sloppy.

Feet!

I'm only as good as my back-up.

You knew she'd send me something. You need to be one step ahead.

You have to learn how to work a blender. I don't know who to take with me.

You're both more B-list than A-team.

BOTH: Sorry.

It's OK. We'll say no more about it.

Now, feng shui the room.

Chop-chop.

Go faster!

-Watch where you're going!

-That's mine!

-What are we doing?

-I'm not so sure.

You're not kidding. You've got no idea. It's not rocket science!

At least with rocket science, you might let off a rocket.

Which would be fun. Not like this!

-What are you saying?

-I'm saying I quit!

Fine. At least it makes it easier for me to choose.

Sam, you can pack our bags.

Pack them yourself. I quit, too.

What?!

You're supposed to be my mates!

-We are.

-We'd let you down if we let you get away with this.

-With what?

-Acting like a raging ego on legs.

Maybe it's our fault for trying to impress you.

If this is what being in a movie does to you,

we don't want to be around to see it.

Fine!

Go ahead! Leave!

I've got plenty of other friends I can take.

-No, you don't!

-Oh - help yourself!

-Thanks!

-By the way, I have the answer to all your problems.

-You do?

-You should take me!

-In your dreams! What can you do for me?

-Stop you getting starry.

-I haven't been getting starry.

Have I?

Hello? Is the moon out early or is it just your big head?

There's one thing I've learned about friendship.

Never admit you're wrong. If they don't want to be friends, it's their loss.

Max, I can always count on your for advice.

As long as I make sure I do the exact opposite.

Do what you like. Next time I see Ben, I'm not pulling any punches.

Please be my friend again! Please!

I'll do anything you want! You can borrow my computer games.

Max, get up. What are you on about?

-I never stopped being your friend.

-You didn't?

Oh, thank you.

-Thank you!

-Ow!

So how are the footy try-outs?

They're maniacs. They kept fouling me. My head aches from heading the ball.

-On practice days, you have to get up at five!

-Really?

-Shame.

-And I've missed hanging out with you.

What about a go on Haunted Space Cruiser 3?

Well, if you insist.

Thanks for coming.

-I wanted to say I was bang out of order.

-That's all right.

No, it isn't. I let everything go to my head and I got all starry.

I feel totally mortified.

On the bright side, at least you can still feel shame.

-I've realised I'm incredibly lucky.

-Duh? You're in a movie!

No, to have you as friends. I'm glad you're not the same.

Cos you guys bring out the best in me.

Well, not recently we didn't.

But mostly, yeah.

So I've decided to give up being Daisy Pendragon.

Yeah. Thanks, but have you completely lost the plot?

-Give it up? You're perfect for the role.

-No, I'm not.

I can't even say palaeontologist.

-Hey - you just did!

-Ooh. But if I can't take both of you with me,

then I'm not going at all. DOORBELL

Wow! We're an entourage.

Ow!

It's from the studio. Must have been some rewrites.

Let's see the new lines.

Oh, the tribes people. About this teensy-weensy misunderstanding

with me profaning your most sacred idol...

Oh, Daisy!

I've been shot.

I don't think I'm going to make it.

Hang on, Daisy. We'll get you to the hospital.

The light...

..is failing.

I'm going! I'm going, I say!

Not very quickly!

Belle, I wish I could have come with you.

But it looks like fate...had other...

..plans.

Finally!

-But...

-She definitely pegs it?

Even before the opening credits.

My agent says Belle threatened to quit cos I was in it too much.

Oh, Dani.

-I don't know what to say.

-I do. It's outrageous!

-I'd like to shove those muffins up her...

-Don't go there.

-It won't do you any good.

-At least I've got you guys.

-My pals.

-Right. And you know what?

The best way to forget your troubles is to keep busy.

Not bad. A little heavy on the strawberries.

Foot massage!

Ice!

Fan!

-MAX:

-Chips!

-A-ha-ha-ha!

-Oh.

I can't believe we sent that ridiculous report.

Sorry. Think there's a chance he'll believe us?

Only if he's incredibly, blindingly stupid!

MONITOR BEEPS

It's a message from Commander Zealth.

He says, "Thanks for the report."

He never knew humans ate mice.

And looked like bottoms.

We might be OK after all!

Ah-ha-ha!

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

# Let's lift these chains

# Let's ride these wings right out to sea... #

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd