Buddy Movie Dani's House


Buddy Movie

Surreal sitcom about a struggling actress. Against all odds, Dani gets a part in a big action movie and can take one friend with her to the exotic location.


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Transcript


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And... Action!

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Greetings, Commander! This is our report of what we know about Earth.

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Cut! Why have you stopped?

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I didn't know what to say! You're wiggling the camera like a hyperactive toddler!

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Tell them about our work! The research, experiments.

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Except the one with the duck and the vacuum cleaner. That didn't go well.

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Why not?

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VACUUM WHIRRS

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Oh.

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But we haven't really done any work.

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We've enjoyed ourselves watching Dani's house.

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We can't say that! Commander Zealth will hang us by our toe claws.

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What should I say then?

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Make something up.

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Action!

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Hi. My name's Dani. And this is my fantastic...

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..best friend Jack.

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-Oh, where was I?

-Your name's Dani. I'm her best friend too.

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As I was saying, this is my fantastic... Max!

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I'm her brother and actually it's... Ben?

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What? Oh, it's our show.

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Can you just zip it!

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As I was saying, my name's Dani and this is my fantastic...

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I give up!

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SINGS ALONG

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Hi! How was the audition?

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Well, I was late, I learned the wrong part,

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and I spilt tea over the director.

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Apart from that, it was great.

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"Belle Charlotte and the Amber Amulet."

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Hmm. Weird. That's the same title as Belle Charlotte's next movie.

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-It is Belle Charlotte's next movie.

-No way! I'm her biggest fan!

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Being in one of her movies could make someone's career.

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I mean, literally millions of people...

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have probably never heard of her.

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Thanks. I didn't think it was possible, but now I feel worse.

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Never mind. Her movies are a bit cliched.

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-I bet we could tell you the plot without even looking.

-You're on.

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Belle Charlotte is a tough secret agent.

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And her buddy is a ditzy professor.

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-They're like chalk and cheese.

-But together, they save the world!

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You're right. It is a bit silly.

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-What part did you go up for?

-Daisy Pendragon, dinosaur expert.

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-Palaeontologist?

-Who the what now?

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It's the word for a dinosaur expert.

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Not laughing at you.

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PHONE RINGS Cue my agent with the bad news.

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Hello?

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Don't tell me, I didn't get the part. Yeah.

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Right.

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OK. Bye.

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They said thanks for coming and everything but I got the part.

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Never mind. There'll be other auditions.

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Wait. Did you say...

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I got the part!

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I got the part!

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I'm going to be in a movie with Belle Charlotte!

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Ooh!

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Hello? Anybody?

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-Any chance you could untie me? Hello?

-Hi.

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Shh! Are you Daisy Pendragon, famous palaeontologist?

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No. I'm Daisy Pendragon, traffic warden.

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-Sorry to bother you.

-Wait! Come back!

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-That is me.

-Great. I need your help.

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So what happened?

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I was studying this unusual idol over here

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and the local tribe thought I was stealing it. It's very sacred.

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-Get down.

-Fine. What will that do?

-Get down!

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I'm Belle Charlotte. Secret Intelligence Agency. I'm here to rescue you.

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-How super of you!

-Ever heard of someone called Deevil?

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-Dr Deevil? Dr Malik Deevil?

-Yeah.

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-No.

-Oh.

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-My chopper's here.

-Oh, how utterly exciting!

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I've got a feeling my life is never going to be the same again!

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I understand it'll be hard work.

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Ten days filming in Mauritius and then off to New York!

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-Yep. OK. Costume fitting. Got it.

-She wants a Jacuzzi in her trailer!

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-And her own sea plane!

-Do you mind? ..Sorry.

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Really?! I can take... Only just...

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But... Right.

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OK. Bye!

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Oh, let me guess. You're allergic to white sands and palm trees!

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No. It's just I thought I might get lonely.

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-So my agent asked if I can bring a friend.

-A friend?

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Just one?

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OK. Well, I guess I'll just have to choose.

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You think it's so cool just cos you're in the school soccer team!

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Not so brave now, are you, now we're behind this big door!

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-That told them.

-Yeah.

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Why did they follow us home?

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They like picking on someone cleverer and less ugly than them!

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There's no way I'm going out there until they leave.

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Luckily we've got your new Haunted Space Cruiser 3 game, to pass the time.

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Oh, no! It must have fallen out!

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That's not how you spell "hostage"!

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-What are they doing?

-Having a kick about.

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Least they've forgotten my new game.

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-Afraid not. That's what they're using as a ball!

-What?!

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-I've got to get it back.

-If we go out there, they'll bang us into the ground and use us as goalposts!

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I know that. There comes a time, Ben, where we have to stand up and be counted.

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Well, you do. It's your game.

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Are we prisoners in our own house?

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-And it's your house.

-Fine. All right. I'll go on my own.

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I'm going. I'm nearly gone.

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I hope they don't make me tell them where you live.

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OK. Wait up. I'll come with you.

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OK, if you insist. We've got to face them some time.

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Come on.

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OK, we're agreed. We're not going to fight over who goes with Dani.

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-No. Course not.

-It would be silly and undignified.

-Right.

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She's obviously going to pick me.

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What? You need someone relaxing to be with on a film set.

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Someone to keep you prepared and chilled.

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Dani's not a ready meal! Anyway, I am relaxing.

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Like a cat at a mad dogs' convention!

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-You're more like Daisy in the script.

-Intelligent? Likeable?

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Accident waiting to happen.

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OK, Max? Dani catch you in her room again?

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This gang chased me and Ben. School football hooligans.

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-I hate when idiots follow the school team.

-They ARE the school team.

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We didn't think we'd get away, did we, Ben?

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Ben?

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Yeah, he's right behind...me.

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Oh, no! They must have got Ben!

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Oh, well. Soon as he opens his mouth, they'll realise he's harmless.

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You still shouldn't have left him.

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I wouldn't leave Dani even if she was going to Mauritius and New York.

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You should always stand by a friend. Like in Dani's film.

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Daisy comes back to rescue Belle.

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Page 79, scene 63, line five.

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What? I've been checking Dani's script, like any friend would.

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Any friend after the holiday of a lifetime!

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I'd love to save Ben, but it's not like the movies.

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In real life, these fights actually hurt.

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Hi. I'm Professor Pendragon, and I am an expert pal-e-lologist.

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Pale-tologist.

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Pa-lilly-ologist.

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I am an expert in dinosaur behaviour.

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-These are for you. They're from Belle.

-They're gorgeous!

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"Dear Dani, congratulations. I can't wait to start working together. Love, Belle."

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-She signed it herself!

-Her PA did it or she'd be signing photos all day.

-I have to thank her.

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-You already did.

-I did?

-Well, I did, actually.

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I thought you need some personal assistance from you pal.

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Your P-A-al!

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-I mean, what are friends for? Especially super-efficient friends like me.

-Thanks.

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A good PA takes organisation, focus and an almost pathological attention to detail.

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-Someone who knows all your likes and dislikes.

-I wouldn't need a PA with you around.

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-Funny you should say that...

-Excuse me.

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-Can I borrow Dani for a second?

-Er...

-Thanks.

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Wow! What's all this?

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A crawling net, a climbing wall

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and a running machine.

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If you're going to be in an action movie, you need to get in shape.

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-She won't do her own stunts.

-But she needs to look like she could.

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-True.

-That's where I come in.

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Not only your mate, but also your personal trainer.

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Allow me to demonstrate.

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DISCO MUSIC

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-What's all this in aid of?

-Oh, you laugh?

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Sometime in this movie, I guarantee you will fall in a pit of snakes.

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Amazing. It's when Belle and Daisy go looking for the amber amulet.

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Page 42, scene 35, line eight.

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-Daisy has to crawl over a snake pit.

-See? What did I tell you?

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Now, a snake is crawling up your arm.

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You freeze! Make scared eyes!

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Ssssss! Wait for it!

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-And now!

-Aghh!

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-Excellent.

-Really?

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About you needing an awesome PA.

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I'm happy to take on the job. Luckily for you, I'm free.

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Guys, you've both been so helpful.

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It'll be so hard to choose between you.

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Being famous is such a massive responsibility!

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-Must be really tough(!)

-What did you say?

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He meant being famous is an awesome responsibility.

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-DOORBELL

-Max! Max, it's me!

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My game!

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-It's all right.

-I'm fine. Thanks for asking(!)

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I was about to come looking for you. Did they duff you in?

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They're a football team, not the Mafia!

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We hung out for a bit, after you ran off.

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I didn't run off. It was a...calculated retreat.

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Why are you wearing a tracksuit?

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Isn't it cool? They lent me a spare school strip.

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Super! Stripes are really you!

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The lads gave me some great ball tips. Watch this!

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MATCH OF THE DAY THEME TUNE

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Wow. You can keep a ball off the ground with your feet.

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Come on, Rooney. Let's go play Haunted Space Cruiser 3.

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Just what you need after your ordeal.

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Maybe later. First, I'm off for a kick-about with the lads. Want to come?

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Do I look like I want to come?

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Um... No.

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OK. Well, see you later!

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-Action!

-Hey, there, Zealthy, baby. Listen up.

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We've got a report that will really curl your antennae!

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Cut!

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Your performance is a little OTT. Can you pull it back?

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Oh, you do it, then! Action!

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Humans live for several thousand years

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and mainly eat mice and cough sweets.

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That's rubbish!

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Humans wear eye coverings to avoid seeing each other

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because they're hideously ugly and look like bottoms.

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Cut!

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Come on! Use your elbows!

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Come on! Work it, Dani! Work it! Don't drop the amulet!

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Daisy's a bit clueless when they hide in the jungle.

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-I don't want to be too good.

-Don't worry about that!

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If you like I can show you how to panic when you get stuck in quicksand.

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When we get to Mauritius, I will make sure...

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She likes loads of leg room. She'll need a separate room just for her legs. Fab.

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Welcome party TBA. ASAP.

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Yeah. BBFN. Mwa! Mwa!

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I've sorted your itinerary, started packing and faxed the chef your triple D's.

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Her triple D's?

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-Diet sheet do's and don'ts. These are from Belle.

-Ooh, muffins!

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"I've seen all your work and just love it. XX, Belle."

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-I should send her something back.

-It's done.

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-I sent her a big chocolate dinosaur bone.

-You did?

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-Why?

-Because you're a palaeontologist!

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That was clever of me!

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-What are you doing?

-Too sugary.

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Belle wants to have a whiter Hollywood smile than you.

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She wouldn't do that - would she?

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See? You'd just be like a babe in the woods over there.

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That's why you need me.

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That is it!

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You're so transparent it's embarrassing!

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-What happened to no fighting?

-Let's ask Dani's personal dietary fairy!

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-Fake-o-saurus!

-Stressaholic!

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Whoa! Whoa, guys.

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This is about me, isn't it?

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It's really hard to pick between you two.

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I love Jack's workouts. We have so much fun.

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And he plays cutting-edge tunes.

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But Sam is an amazing PA.

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She knows what I need before I do.

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If only I could tear each of you in half and assemble one person with all the bits.

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Muffin?

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Excusey!

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Max, are you training to be a traffic cone?

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No.

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Where's the other guy? You know, lights on, nobody home.

0:15:030:15:07

-Ben?

-That's the one. How come you're not hanging out with him?

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He's with his new football friends.

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Probably having a really boring time.

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You mean...like you?

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I'm not bored! Want some help?

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I could untangle some ropes.

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Or tangle them up again.

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Look, Ben's just trying something new.

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Why don't you take up a sport the two of you can do together?

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No... Actually, that's a really good idea.

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-But what?

-Well, um, rugby.

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-Too violent.

-Cricket?

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-Too tedious!

-Show jumping?

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Yes!

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Wait - no horse.

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Still, I'll think of something.

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# There's only one Holcas Avenue!

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# Everybody's A team!

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# There's only one Holcas Avenue!

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# Everybody's A team! #

0:15:590:16:00

Hey, Max!

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Shh! I'm practising my putting.

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Since when do you play golf?

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I've been playing for ages. Since I was about three or four.

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Why does your golf outfit still have the store tags on?

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Um... New season's kit.

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Here, check out my Mashie Niblick.

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Yeah. It's nice. Shiny.

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See, golf's more refined than football.

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It's about you and your caddy, in it together.

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Much better than a bunch of wannabe Beckhams hacking you in the shins.

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Putter.

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You see? You form a close bond with your caddy over time.

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Get to know each other's foibles. Share the good and the bad.

0:16:380:16:41

-It's almost...

-Telepathic?

0:16:410:16:44

-Exactly.

-I think I see what you mean.

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Great! Let's grab my golf bag, my flask of cocoa and let's hit the fairway!

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No, I'd rather play football.

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I'll have plenty of time for golf when I'm retired. See ya!

0:16:540:16:58

OK.

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New day, new way of working.

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Here, have some hydration delivery fluid.

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Tastes like water.

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It's sports water.

0:17:120:17:14

See? It's not only Sam that can be all sciencey and efficient.

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I'm the complete package.

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-Your perfect friend.

-Can't we do the bit where I go looking for Belle

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-and get caught in a trap by the baddy, Deevil?

-No.

0:17:240:17:28

Oh. How about some cool tunes?

0:17:280:17:30

Oh, good idea.

0:17:300:17:32

MUSIC BLARES OUT

0:17:340:17:36

-What is this?

-Wagner. Ride of the Valkyries.

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Best thing for a real gutsy workout. Come on!

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Aghh!

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Good! Climbing builds strength.

0:18:010:18:04

-And helps me get away from you.

-Work on your grip.

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I'm not the one losing their grip, Dr Deevil! I mean, Jack.

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OK. Isometric stretching.

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Right, come on!

0:18:170:18:19

OK. Ready?

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And, one, two,

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three, f...

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-Come on! You're not even trying!

-I don't want to do this any more.

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-It's boring and you're a bully.

-Maybe I went a bit too far.

-A bit?

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If you're going to be like this, I know who I'll take to Mauritius!

0:18:340:18:39

Sam!

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Ciao, ciao.

0:18:460:18:48

Bella. Bella.

0:18:480:18:49

-Sam?

-Bruno, Stella. I'm loving the mohair ponchos. I'll call you back.

0:18:490:18:54

Yeah. OK. Laters!

0:18:540:18:57

-What have you got on?

-This? It's a chabu. Very on trend.

0:18:580:19:02

-I was calling my mates in fashion.

-You haven't got any mates in fashion.

-I do now.

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I blagged some outfits that are totally cutting edge.

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It's not only Jack who has his finger on the pulse.

0:19:100:19:13

Though I, of course, offer so much more. How about...

0:19:130:19:16

..sheggings. Leggings with shoes.

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And what about this? It's a slat.

0:19:210:19:24

-Hat with sleeves!

-Why... Um, why?

0:19:240:19:28

Because it's fun. Look. Wheeee!

0:19:280:19:30

OK. Look, I don't really want to lose my own style. Check this out.

0:19:320:19:35

Found this in a charity shop.

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Where are all my clothes?

0:19:380:19:40

-I've edited your wardrobe.

-Edited it? Looks like you vacuumed it!

0:19:400:19:44

Don't worry. You'll get new clothes in Hollywood.

0:19:440:19:47

What am I supposed to wear until then? A slat?

0:19:470:19:49

I've had a terrible workout with Jack. You chucked my clothes away.

0:19:490:19:53

I have lines to learn and I still can't say pelli-lolligy.

0:19:530:19:56

-Palaeontologist.

-Is a bit of co-operation too much to ask for?

0:19:560:20:00

-OK, OK.

-You're starting to make me think Jack should be my go with guy.

0:20:000:20:04

And don't forget who the star is around here.

0:20:040:20:07

Come on, Belle. Quitters never win and winners never quit.

0:20:080:20:13

DOORBELL

0:20:130:20:15

Hi, Dani.

0:20:170:20:18

I'm sorry I pushed you too hard.

0:20:180:20:21

Jack. Eyes before mouth. Can't you see what I'm doing?

0:20:210:20:24

Oh, rehearsing. Sorry.

0:20:240:20:26

Where have you been, anyway?

0:20:260:20:28

-I got some stuff for your favourite smoothie.

-About time.

0:20:280:20:31

I'm trying to build a character here, Jack.

0:20:310:20:34

I need to get under Daisy's skin.

0:20:340:20:36

She's hurt and traumatised, with the burden of saving the planet on her shoulders.

0:20:360:20:41

-It is a huge strain on me. Do you know what this means?

-You need your smoothie on time.

-Chop-chop.

0:20:410:20:46

You were the one who told me this.

0:20:470:20:50

So don't quit on me now.

0:20:500:20:52

No, I don't want a mini-cab. Please get off the line!

0:20:520:20:55

Sam! Eyes, mouth. I was in the middle of my big speech.

0:20:550:20:59

You left the lid off again!

0:21:030:21:05

Cushion me.

0:21:070:21:08

DOORBELL

0:21:110:21:14

Ow! Jack!

0:21:140:21:16

She threw it at me!

0:21:160:21:18

Sorry, Dani.

0:21:190:21:20

From Belle.

0:21:210:21:23

Oh! What did I send her?

0:21:230:21:24

Nothing.

0:21:240:21:26

-Nothing?!

-It's only just arrived.

0:21:260:21:29

Come on, people, we're getting sloppy.

0:21:290:21:32

Feet!

0:21:320:21:33

I'm only as good as my back-up.

0:21:350:21:37

You knew she'd send me something. You need to be one step ahead.

0:21:370:21:40

You have to learn how to work a blender. I don't know who to take with me.

0:21:400:21:44

You're both more B-list than A-team.

0:21:440:21:46

BOTH: Sorry.

0:21:460:21:48

It's OK. We'll say no more about it.

0:21:480:21:50

Now, feng shui the room.

0:21:500:21:53

Chop-chop.

0:21:530:21:54

Go faster!

0:21:590:22:00

-Watch where you're going!

-That's mine!

0:22:000:22:04

-What are we doing?

-I'm not so sure.

0:22:040:22:07

You're not kidding. You've got no idea. It's not rocket science!

0:22:070:22:11

At least with rocket science, you might let off a rocket.

0:22:110:22:15

Which would be fun. Not like this!

0:22:150:22:17

-What are you saying?

-I'm saying I quit!

0:22:170:22:20

Fine. At least it makes it easier for me to choose.

0:22:200:22:23

Sam, you can pack our bags.

0:22:230:22:25

Pack them yourself. I quit, too.

0:22:250:22:27

What?!

0:22:270:22:29

You're supposed to be my mates!

0:22:290:22:31

-We are.

-We'd let you down if we let you get away with this.

0:22:310:22:34

-With what?

-Acting like a raging ego on legs.

0:22:340:22:37

Maybe it's our fault for trying to impress you.

0:22:370:22:41

If this is what being in a movie does to you,

0:22:410:22:43

we don't want to be around to see it.

0:22:430:22:45

Fine!

0:22:460:22:48

Go ahead! Leave!

0:22:480:22:50

I've got plenty of other friends I can take.

0:22:560:22:59

-No, you don't!

-Oh - help yourself!

-Thanks!

0:22:590:23:03

-By the way, I have the answer to all your problems.

-You do?

0:23:030:23:06

-You should take me!

-In your dreams! What can you do for me?

0:23:060:23:10

-Stop you getting starry.

-I haven't been getting starry.

0:23:100:23:13

Have I?

0:23:130:23:15

Hello? Is the moon out early or is it just your big head?

0:23:150:23:18

There's one thing I've learned about friendship.

0:23:180:23:21

Never admit you're wrong. If they don't want to be friends, it's their loss.

0:23:210:23:25

Max, I can always count on your for advice.

0:23:250:23:28

As long as I make sure I do the exact opposite.

0:23:280:23:30

Do what you like. Next time I see Ben, I'm not pulling any punches.

0:23:300:23:35

Please be my friend again! Please!

0:23:360:23:38

I'll do anything you want! You can borrow my computer games.

0:23:380:23:42

Max, get up. What are you on about?

0:23:420:23:44

-I never stopped being your friend.

-You didn't?

0:23:440:23:47

Oh, thank you.

0:23:470:23:49

-Thank you!

-Ow!

0:23:490:23:51

So how are the footy try-outs?

0:23:510:23:53

They're maniacs. They kept fouling me. My head aches from heading the ball.

0:23:540:23:59

-On practice days, you have to get up at five!

-Really?

0:23:590:24:02

-Shame.

-And I've missed hanging out with you.

0:24:020:24:05

What about a go on Haunted Space Cruiser 3?

0:24:050:24:08

Well, if you insist.

0:24:090:24:11

Thanks for coming.

0:24:160:24:18

-I wanted to say I was bang out of order.

-That's all right.

0:24:180:24:22

No, it isn't. I let everything go to my head and I got all starry.

0:24:220:24:27

I feel totally mortified.

0:24:270:24:29

On the bright side, at least you can still feel shame.

0:24:290:24:33

-I've realised I'm incredibly lucky.

-Duh? You're in a movie!

0:24:330:24:36

No, to have you as friends. I'm glad you're not the same.

0:24:360:24:40

Cos you guys bring out the best in me.

0:24:400:24:43

Well, not recently we didn't.

0:24:450:24:48

But mostly, yeah.

0:24:480:24:49

So I've decided to give up being Daisy Pendragon.

0:24:490:24:52

Yeah. Thanks, but have you completely lost the plot?

0:24:520:24:57

-Give it up? You're perfect for the role.

-No, I'm not.

0:24:570:25:02

I can't even say palaeontologist.

0:25:020:25:04

-Hey - you just did!

-Ooh. But if I can't take both of you with me,

0:25:040:25:08

then I'm not going at all. DOORBELL

0:25:080:25:12

Wow! We're an entourage.

0:25:130:25:15

Ow!

0:25:160:25:18

It's from the studio. Must have been some rewrites.

0:25:200:25:23

Let's see the new lines.

0:25:230:25:25

Oh, the tribes people. About this teensy-weensy misunderstanding

0:25:340:25:38

with me profaning your most sacred idol...

0:25:380:25:41

Oh, Daisy!

0:25:420:25:44

I've been shot.

0:25:440:25:46

I don't think I'm going to make it.

0:25:460:25:49

Hang on, Daisy. We'll get you to the hospital.

0:25:490:25:53

The light...

0:25:540:25:55

..is failing.

0:25:560:25:58

I'm going! I'm going, I say!

0:25:580:26:02

Not very quickly!

0:26:020:26:03

Belle, I wish I could have come with you.

0:26:070:26:11

But it looks like fate...had other...

0:26:130:26:16

..plans.

0:26:180:26:20

Finally!

0:26:200:26:21

-But...

-She definitely pegs it?

0:26:260:26:29

Even before the opening credits.

0:26:290:26:32

My agent says Belle threatened to quit cos I was in it too much.

0:26:320:26:35

Oh, Dani.

0:26:350:26:36

-I don't know what to say.

-I do. It's outrageous!

0:26:360:26:40

-I'd like to shove those muffins up her...

-Don't go there.

0:26:400:26:44

-It won't do you any good.

-At least I've got you guys.

0:26:440:26:47

-My pals.

-Right. And you know what?

0:26:470:26:49

The best way to forget your troubles is to keep busy.

0:26:490:26:53

Not bad. A little heavy on the strawberries.

0:26:570:27:00

Foot massage!

0:27:000:27:02

Ice!

0:27:040:27:05

Fan!

0:27:100:27:11

-MAX:

-Chips!

0:27:140:27:16

-A-ha-ha-ha!

-Oh.

0:27:330:27:36

I can't believe we sent that ridiculous report.

0:27:360:27:39

Sorry. Think there's a chance he'll believe us?

0:27:390:27:43

Only if he's incredibly, blindingly stupid!

0:27:430:27:46

MONITOR BEEPS

0:27:460:27:48

It's a message from Commander Zealth.

0:27:480:27:50

He says, "Thanks for the report."

0:27:530:27:57

He never knew humans ate mice.

0:27:570:27:59

And looked like bottoms.

0:27:590:28:01

We might be OK after all!

0:28:010:28:05

Ah-ha-ha!

0:28:050:28:06

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

0:28:090:28:14

# Let's lift these chains

0:28:140:28:16

# Let's ride these wings right out to sea... #

0:28:160:28:22

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:28:220:28:25

Surreal sitcom about a struggling actress, continuously left in charge of her annoying younger brother Max, his none-too-bright sidekick Ben and their youngest sibling - the baby from hell.

Against all odds, Dani gets a part in a big action movie and can take one friend with her to the exotic location. Sam and Jack vie to see who can be Dani's most indispensable friend - but manage to turn her into a selfish and vain wannabe who neither of them end up wanting to be with.


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