Birthday Trap Dani's House

Reactor levels...normal. Veltron crystal levels...normal.

Hot dog levels... Yeah, normal.

Just another quiet day in space with nothing to get stressed over.

-What is it Co-ordinator Zark? You're shaking!

-This magazine!

Lists every TV show that will ever appear on TV between now

-and the end of forever.

-And what's the problem?

It says that after today there will be no new episodes of Dani's house.

What?! There must be some mistake!

-You're right!

-What are we going to do?

The only thing we can do. BOTH: Panic! Argh!

-Hey, guys. My name's Dani and this...

-Is your best friend, Jack.

-My name's Dani and this...

-Is her brother Max.

-And his best friend, Ben.

-I thought the same. My name's Dani and this...

-Is her friend, Ruby.

-And I'm her sister, Maisy.

And I'm Dani and this is the brilliant...

ALL TALK AT ODDS

WHISTLES

THEY LAUGH

Hey, guys. Guess whose birthday it is

and guess who's planning the most out of this world party ever.

-Good your end?

-Yep.

All my friends are coming back for the first time in ages.

It has been so long since the gang have been back together again.

Jack's got a new DJ residency in Ibiza.

RAVE MUSIC AND WHISTLING

Ruby's been busy auditioning to host a new fitness DVD.

Sam's an astronaut.

AUTOMATED VOICE: Self destruct sequence activated. 10, 9...

SQUEAL ..eight.

And Toby's a top surgeon.

ELASTIC SNAPS OW!

-Can you get me the, er...

-Scalpel?

-Yes.

This is going to be fantastic.

There. Happy 8th birthday? Is that the best banner you could find?

The only one in the shop. I've been so busy lately,

-I've left everything to the last minute.

-Yeah. You don't say.

-BALLOON DEFLATES

-Still, at least all your friends are going to be here.

-Yeah.

PHONE RINGS

Oh, no, it's Serena. Yes, Serena?

No, no, I'm not coming in to work today, it's Dani's birthday,

I got to be here to.

It's not my fault if the man with the toilet stuck on his head

isn't working and you need to shoot a new scene.

Yeah, no. What? No, No. I'm not coming in, absolutely not, no.

-You're going in, aren't you?

-Yeah. I'll be back as soon as I can.

Promise.

Bye.

OK. Good luck. Well, guys.

-Looks like it's just you and me getting ready for the party.

-DOORBELL

Alex must have forgotten something. Or my guests are very, very early.

-Yo, Dani Benani Banana. 'Sup sister?

-Max, what are you doing back home?

I had a break in my world tour. Yo. Bam, bam, bam.

HELICOPTER HOVERS Laters, Marco!

He is well loyal to me, innit.

OK, two things, firstly, can you speak in your normal voice?

Respect to my sis...ter...

-Yeah, done, done.

-Secondly, it's my birthday. You can't be here.

Tough, I am. Oh, and here's your birthday present. No expense spared.

-My latest album.

-You had no idea it was my birthday, did you?

None at all. May I recommend track six?

My sister doesn't wash her pits?

# My sister's got a pit, yo! All covered in slime, oh!

# She stinks and she don't even know, oh.

# Oh, oh, oh, oh. #

-He's such a talent, isn't he? Hi, Dani?

-Hi, Ben.

-Wherever Max is, I'm never far behind.

-Come on, Ben.

Let's see what sort of state my sister's left my house in.

Mum and Dad said I could have the house to myself this weekend.

I don't want you ruining my party plans.

Why would I ruin your plans?

I'm really wounded that you're having a party we aren't invited.

The invites are exclusive. For people I like only.

Oh, did Dani make these herself?

Are you going to have jelly and ice-cream

and play pass-the-parcel and sleeping lions?

No...yes...look, don't start, not today.

It's tradition that I mess up your birthday. It's what I do.

I thought you'd change while you were away. You know, maybe grow up?

I was an idiot to think it.

No, you're an idiot because you can't even do a decent party invitation.

-Look at it.

-Look, whatever you've got to say, I don't want to hear it.

Just stay out my way. I've had years of your nonsense and it ends today.

-Dani?

-I said, stay out my way!

I guess you'd better stay out of her way.

How am I supposed to tell the little shrimp

that she messed up the date in her invite?

-This date is next week.

-Exactly.

So all her friends are going to be scattered around the globe

thinking they've got another seven days till her birthday.

The only person who thinks it's today is Dani.

Gasp! Birthday-geddon!

She's going to be all alone at her own party. A birthday utterly ruined.

And you didn't even have to lift a finger to do it.

Give me a high 10, Ben.

-So why do I feel so empty inside?

-Perhaps you got a tape worm.

-What?

-It's a big worm that lives inside your stomach.

My mum says they're disgusting

but I think it'll be like having a little pet inside you.

-I'd call my one "Gutsy".

-I'm missing the challenge, Ben.

I feel like I've had it robbed from me.

I'm going to do the last thing Dani expects.

Change your name to Dorothy Big-knickers?

No. I'm going to really mess with her head and save her birthday.

Double-gasp with sprinkles on top!

Oh, I cannot believe he's been away for all this time

and he still wants to wind me up the second he gets back.

Stay calm, Dani. It's your birthday.

You've still got a lot of preparation to do. Right, first...

..Ooh! The party food!

Jelly and ice-cream, here we go.

What? There's nothing wrong with jelly and ice cream.

Would Madame care to browse our desert menu?

I recommend the chocolate fudge truffle with jelly fondant glaze,

lychee pearls and edible gold leaf.

It is, as one says, exquisite.

Sounds delicious. Can I get jelly and ice cream, please?

-Jelly and...?

-Ice cream. Make sure it isn't too cold?

I like it runny so I can mix it together in one big mess.

Perhaps Madame would like to consider

one of the other delights on our menu.

-No, no, no, I'll just have jelly and ice cream.

-I see.

And what flavour ice cream would Madame like?

Erm, can I just get plain?

One jelly and plain ice cream coming up.

Oh, and can I get that in a bucket please?

Max, I'm confused.

Last time we met, you were evil. What is this scheme here exactly?

There is no scheme, Maisy. Max is getting Dani's friends

back here out of the goodness of his own sweet heart.

I thought you'd want to see Dani's birthday plans fall apart.

Dani's birthday is already ruined. I can't ruin it any more.

Instead, I'm going to save it.

That's a challenge I can really sink my teeth into.

So Dani will always know that it was you who saved her birthday.

Exactly and then she'll owe me for the rest of her life.

-It's brilliant.

-Max can't do it alone, Maisy.

That's why he called you on this. It's a telephone.

I know what it is, Ben.

Cool, I like it when we're on the same page.

I know Dani. She'll be expecting me to be up to something,

so I need you two to ensure she's distracted

while I set the wheels of this party bus into motion.

I need to track down her friends.

Do whatever it takes, just don't let her find out what I'm up to.

OK, Dani, Max isn't trying to ruin your birthday.

You can handle him. Go and check on your cakes.

Argh! What are you doing?!

Ben called to see if Max was home.

I stopped by to say, hi.

Hey, that's cheating. Time out.

So when did dropping by to say, hi,

turn into fighting with water pistols inside,

where things can get ruined? Things like my party dress, cakes,

decorations and someone.

-We had an argument over who likes Max most.

-No, it was an argument

over the fact that you like Max more than he likes you.

You take that back. Me and Max are equals.

It's just that some days he's more equal than I am.

Woah, enough with the shooting. Find some other way to settle it.

-We tried arm wrestling.

-Max gave us water pistols

-and told us to settle here because he's busy.

-Busy with what?

He's planning on ruining my birthday, isn't he?

No, he's just chillaxing in his hammock.

-Max doesn't have a hammock.

-My mistake.

Right, I am going in there and finding out what he's up to.

Stop!

Argh!

Look what you've done.

Oops, looks like you're going to have to go back and get changed.

Job well done, I think.

Jack, how are you? Yes, this is Max.

Dani's Max, international grime core superstore.

Max, this is a bad time.

I'm about to play a matinee show at the Ibiza 24 hour DJ-athon.

Don't care what you're doing.

Dani put the wrong date on her invites

and unless you make it here as quickly as you can,

she'll spend her birthday on her own.

Do you think I'm going to fall for your wind-ups.

Everyone knows Dani's party is next week.

Yes, because she put the wrong date on her birthday invites.

-Listen to my words.

-Yeah, yeah, likely story.

Anyway, there's no way I'll be able to make it back tonight.

I'm in Ibiza making the most of my big break.

Hold on, my other phone's ringing. Hold on.

If it's Dani, don't tell her I called you.

-I want the party to be a surprise.

-Jack speaking.

Jack, you won't believe what just happened over here.

I got my hair done, I put my dress on

and then Maisy and Ben soak me.

It's a nightmare and Max is back, probably up to something

and I just wanted to check what time you're coming over today.

What's that noise in the background?

Sorry Danny, I can barely hear you.

I'm in a wind tunnel and this is a bad line.

OK, maybe I believe you.

What do you want me to do?

Get on the first available flight

and put a call through to Dani's boyfriend.

-Why me?

-He's more likely to believe you than me.

-All right, got it.

-Great.

Operation Bring Back Dani's Friends For Her Birthday Party is a go.

Note to self, come up with a snappier name for the operation.

Are you still here?

-What's Max got you doing for him?

-Why would I help him with anything?

Anyway, I'm so selfish thinking you'd have time for me.

I won't take up any more of your precious birthday.

-OK, OK, what's happened?

-Is it something Max has done?

It might be.

Right, talk to me. I want to know what he's up to.

I want to know everything.

-He broke my swamp baby.

-Is that it?

Big deal. I mean, ah, poor you.

Poor little swamp baby.

It won't be able to stuff maggots into its mouth ever again.

SHE CRIES

Sshh! OK! Enough! I'll, erm, fix it.

-You would really do that for me?

-Honest, it's no bother.

-It'll take you ages to fix it.

-Fine! I've got loads of time.

Like stealing candy from a swamp baby!

Guys, come on, let me through!

There's somewhere I need to be! I need to get to the airport!

DANCE MUSIC PLAYS

Alex? It's Jack. You need to get back to Dani's house.

She's messed up her party invites - we thought it was next week! Hey!

Get back and make sure she's not on her own, in case we can't make it.

Oh...and make sure you call Ruby!

There isn't time to film another scene - it's Dani's birthday!

She's lucky I'm not calling her in for re-shoots!

Wait a minute - that's brilliant! What if her head gets stuck

-in the toilet too?!

-Don't you care about anyone?

-Friends or family?

-I've got a cappuccino-maker I quite like.

How dare you manhandle my lavatory?! If you walk out of here,

-you'll never work in TV again...

-Threaten me all you like.

Fine. Oh...!

If you come back... I'll give you a raise.

I'll make your character a doctor? A surgeon!

With magic powers!

Alex, wait.

Dani's important to me, too, you know.

And...yes, maybe you could say I...

care about her.

-OK, you can go.

-Oh, great!

-I'll call Ruby!

-But if you've damaged my lavatory,

it's coming out of your wages!

Girls, feel the burn! Make it feel like your muscles

are ripping apart!

BEEPING

Ignore that noise, it's part of the routine. Grab that phone.

And put it to your ear!

Now act like you're listening to someone...

Alex? I'm in the middle of something!

What?! I thought it was next week?!

-CLEARS THROAT >

-Then we really turn things up!

Marching on the spot! And now completely out of the room!

SOUND CRACKLES ON MONITOR

Max? Max, is that you?

No, it's someone completely different who looks exactly like me(!)

Of course it's me, you stupid astronaut!

-But how did you...?

-I'm an unfeasibly rich grime star now,

I have my means.

You need to get back down here immediately. Dani's party is tonight!

Max, I'm in outer space, I can't just jump on a bus!

Not my problem. Either you make it back here,

or you let down your friend.

Your call. Max out.

MONITOR CRACKLES AND FADES

Houston, this is mission commander...

-PHONE RINGS

-Woah!

PHONE CONTINUES RINGING

Hello?

Max?!

Max, this is a... really bad...moment.

Erm...

-Dani? What's happened to Dani?

-Where am I?

Quiet, I'm on the phone!

-There you go.

-Wow, Dani, you're the best!

-I need to start getting ready for the party.

-Erm...

-Thanks, Dani.

-You're welcome.

Now, does swamp baby want some maggots?

Where are my cup cakes?!

Ah!

Oh...! >

-Oh, I think I overdid it!

-Did you just eat all the cakes in the oven?

No... Oh, yes.

The jelly and ice cream, mini eggs, cheese and pineapple hedgehog?

No - I'm allergic to pineapples.

HE SNEEZES

Yeah, I did. Sorry, Dani, I just wanted a snack.

HE SNEEZES Horrid pineapple!

-Ben, that was an entire buffet!

-I didn't know that was yours.

-It was my party food!

-Max said I could eat whatever I wanted!

-Oh, did he?

-No, not Max, the other one, what's his name?

-Mac! Mac told me to do it.

-So, he tells you two to have a water fight,

breaks Maisy's toy, then tells you to ruin my party food?

-I knew it!

-You don't know he's trying to ruin your birthday!

He is, just by being here, like he always does.

Well no more, he's leaving, whether he likes it or not.

Dani, wait!

Oh, Maisy - Maisy, help!

Right, before you've stitched him up,

check there's nothing inside - I lost a nice pair of sunglasses once.

-Do you really think I'm ready for this, doctor?

-Yeah!

-Of course! I have total faith in you.

-But it's my first day!

You'll be fine. The patient will be fine, too. Probably.

-But...

-Sorry, I've got to run. Dani needs me.

-Where...where's he going?

-Sshhh!

-I need some more anaesthetic, I've got to be put to sleep.

-Erm...

Try this - once upon a time...

-Stop!

-Seriously, Dani, wait.

-I'm going to stop him, whatever it is.

-I'm not sure you want to.

-It's my birthday, I can have fun.

Let the fireworks commence.

-Max!

-Dani! To what do I owe this fragrant audience?

-Stop ruining my birthday.

-I've done absolutely nothing.

-Oh, really?

-You've managed to do that all by yourself.

You spent all day trying to stop me getting ready.

With good reason! Take a look at your invitations.

Go on, read it. Read the date, Smartacus!

-What?

-As you can see, that's NEXT Friday.

I think the word you're looking for is, "Ah."

-What have I done?

-At least you've spelt your name right.

I couldn't even manage that on my last birthday.

I still feel cheated that I never got to go to "Den"'s birthday party.

What am I going to do?

-I've ruined my own birthday.

-Dani... Dani!

We can't just stand by and do nothing, Co-ordinator!

-Dani needs our help!

-If we do anything to help,

we'll be breaking at least 50 galactic laws!

And my mother would be so disappointed.

Some things are more important than rules, aren't they?

-Max, maybe you should tell her you sorted it all out.

-Nah!

I'll let her sweat a bit. PHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-Max, it's Jack.

Sorry, but I don't think I'm going to be able to make it, man.

-There's a volcano, all flights are cancelled.

-The others are coming?

-As far as I kno...

-PING

Hold on.

It's Ruby... She's stuck on a train.

Apparently a pony got stuck on the tracks. She won't make it.

The others still are, right? PHONE BUZZES

-Alex is stuck in traffic - overturned glue lorry.

-Great!

-PING

-Sam can't get back from outer space, and...

Toby has to go back and remove some sunglasses from a patient's stomach.

Sorry, Max.

-Looks like it's a no-show from all of us.

-That's that, then.

Just tell Dani we miss her and...

that we did our best.

I know that look, Max. That's the look you had when

-you accidentally wore a pair of my underpants to school.

-Ugh!

I booked entertainment, decorators, caterers!

I wanted to give Dani the best birthday party ever, and I couldn't.

The one time I try to do something good for my sister - and I fail.

I'm a failure!

Please, Co-ordinator, we have to do something!

HE SIGHS

I know I'm going to regret this.

-Looks like I didn't need you to ruin it.

-There's something I need to say.

-Don't rub my nose in it.

-Why do you always assume the worst about me?

Because of the 50 billion reasons you've given me to?

-It was you who botched the invitation.

-If he'd told me,

I could have done something, and I wouldn't be on my own tonight.

-I know my friends. They would do anything for me.

-I know, OK?!

That's because you'd do anything for them!

I get it, OK? You're a nice person,

and people like you! That's what I was banking on!

OK, keep your hair on!

-You did your best, Max.

-But it wasn't enough.

-Max never loses.

-Technically, you almost always lose.

'Sounds like a tough situation, Commander, but request denied.'

But Control, Dani's my best friend, she's always been there for me!

BEEPING What's that noise?

-'Warning - something's approaching your capsule.'

-A meteorite?

-'It can't be, it's... No, that's impossible.'

-What's impossible?

'It's slowing down, it's almost like it's pulling up alongside you!'

It's parking? What sort of meteorite parks?

'I don't know, but this is very out-of-the-ordinary.'

CAR HORN BEEPS Oh, that's no meteorite.

Hi.

DOORBELL RINGS

THEY ALL SCREAM

ALL: Happy birthday!

Guys...? I got the date wrong, and you were all over the world?!

-It's difficult to explain.

-Let's just say we got a lift

from some very old friends.

-How did you know about tonight?

-You can thank Max for that.

-Otherwise we'd have never known about the date mix-up.

-Sorry, Max?

He told me what had happened and asked if I could keep it a secret.

-Doesn't sound like Max.

-Excuse me, delivery for "Max The Super-Dude"?

Let's see, a particularly unpleasant tiger, a million cockroaches,

-some other nasty surprise?

-It's party in a box.

Emergency party for Mr The Super-Dude's sister -

apparently jelly and ice cream weren't good enough for her...

Right this way! Ben, Maisy - show them where to go,

and make sure they don't break anything. Right, then -

shall we get this party under way?

-The least I could do after forgetting your birthday.

-We've had some fun.

Yeah, we have.

Well, a boy can't stick around for ever. Got to get back on tour soon.

Don't forget this will always be your home, though.

Are you kidding? We both know this has always been Dani's house.

Yeah. I guess it has.

Ah! My annoying little sister.

Hey!

ALL: Party!

Happy birthday!

PARTY MUSIC PLAYS

So, how did you all make it? Jack told Max you were stuck...?

Well, that's kind of a long, weird...

..story...!

Remember, Co-ordinator, the anti-fibual parter rays

have made us invisible to the naked human eye,

so they can't see...or hear us.

Aliens! Those are aliens!

-How is this even possible?

-I don't now, but don't you think one of them

looks devilishly good-looking?

-You can see us?

-Of course we can see you!

This hasn't worked quite as I expected.

We're Co-ordinator Zark and Zang, and we're your biggest fans!

-We've watched the show since it started.

-They gave us all a lift.

They've got some fascinating teleport technology.

-What are you doing here?

-We couldn't miss your birthday party!

-It sort of feels like we already know you.

-Well, you helped save my party,

I guess that makes you friends in my book.

-Did you hear that, Co-ordinator, we're her friends!

-Oh!

BOTH: Happy birthday, Dani!

-I'm Co-ordinator Zark, pleased to meet you.

-Hello...!

Well, my name's Dani, and this is my house.

And these amazing people? Well, they're my incredible friends.

-Ow! That was my foot!

-It's not my fault I've got big shoes!

-Watch my toes, that's a million quid!

-That's my arm!

-What about my foot?!

-Everyone just calm down!

Don't tell me to calm down, this is my house.

-It's as much mine.

-It's my house!

This is not the way to celebrate... THEY ALL SHOUT AT ONCE

I give up!

THEY ALL TALK AND SHOUT EXCITEDLY

PARTY MUSIC PLAYS

-I'm really going to miss our ship.

-There's no going back now, but...

we'll find a new home as citizens of Planet Earth.

Galactic Control are so not going to be happy.

Well, just let them try and find us once we're posing as human beings!

Well, what do you think?

Yes - very convincing.

# Sometimes I feel like breaking free

# Let's lift these chains Let's rock this wave

# Right out to sea

# I will be

# Breaking free. #

I'm a failure.

< We've cut.

Take one again...

Thanks, Dani, thanks a lot...

Ow!

Action... >

-..which can only mean one thing.

-Alex's top grew legs and must have...

somehow gone out the front door.

THEY ALL LAUGH

That is exactly what happened!