Dennis's School Dinners Dennis the Menace and Gnasher

.

-Ready, Gnasher?

-Let's go!

# Playing by the rules

# Is highly overrated

# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

# They can't hold us back

# We'll make the most of every second

# Unstoppable, unstoppable, yeah!

# After all is said and done

# Shout, "One for all and all for fun!"

# Nothing's gonna bring us down today

# Open up your eyes The world outside is waiting. #

Gang way!

Coming through!

What they said!

By the way, why are we running?

It's lunch time.

And it's pizza day!

Oh, yeah!

Frog.

FROG CROAKS

HE SCREAMS

Pepper, stat.

HE SNEEZES

THEY SCREAM

-Fake puke.

-Plastic or rubber?

Plastic.

-DENNIS RETCHES

-Urgh!

Oh, yes. Go Team Menace ha-ha!

Three large pepperonis, please.

Deep-filled, extra everything.

-Pizza's off.

-Eh? Walter?

Where's good old Brenda?

Oh, good old Brenda will be absent for a few days.

As a consequence, the headmaster has afforded me the opportunity

to elevate nutritional standards at our beloved school.

-Eh?

-Pizza's off.

Two bits of lettuce and a broad bean?

I don't even like broad beans.

Who does, Curly?

Another pie crumb, anyone?

Look at us.

-Scavenging in school bags for scraps.

-Oh, bread stick.

-CRUNCH

-Old pencil.

Kids like us need real food and if we've got to make with some

serious menacing to get it, that's an added bonus.

So there I was helping a family of hedgehogs across the autobahn...

DOOR SLAMS

But with my nutritionally balanced menu,

pupils will benefit from an immediate improvement...

Do your worst, Bea.

PFFTT!

..along with a nine percent reduction in a tendency to be

irritating, smelly little oiks.

Urgh!

Nine percent? You are clever, Walter.

Come, sir. Observe.

CHILDREN MOAN

-He, he fired you?

-No, he threw up in my chef's hat.

Then he fired me.

-And goodness knows who will get to do tomorrow's school lunch.

-Hello, sir.

My Auntie Beryl does catering.

Nutritious, delicious dinners?

Yeah, why not give her a call? Bye.

TELEPHONE RINGS

-MIMICS WOMAN:

-Hello? Yes this is Auntie Beryl's catering service.

Let's go serve up some fun.

PUPILS: Ooh! Ah!

-MIMICS WOMAN:

-Mmmm, lovely. Who's for pizza?

PUPILS: Woo! Yeah!

We're running out of mash.

Gnash-gnash-gnash-gnash.

Sir, sir! Those dinner ladies, they're impostors. It's Dennis.

What?

-Don't be so silly, Walter. It's his Auntie Beryl.

-But, sir, look.

One of them is a dog.

Oh, Walter! I'm so sorry, Mrs...?

Gnasher-gnasher-gnash.

Ah, yes. Mrs Gnasher-gnasher-gnash.

-Walter, lots of elderly ladies grow a few whiskers. Don't be so rude.

-Ohh!

DENNIS AND FRIENDS LAUGH

Oh, seriously. I thought Walter's head was going to explode!

-MIMICS WOMAN:

-Hi, Auntie Beryl's catering here.

Tomorrows order is six bags of potatoes...

Oh, did you hear that, Paul? A family reunion.

..40 packs of fish fingers, 50 large pies...

150, very large.

..make that 150, very large pies and 227 sausages.

-Gnash.

-Sorry, 228. Thank you.

-MIMICS WOMAN:

-Hello? This is Auntie Beryl's catering again.

I'd like to change tomorrow's lunch order.

-What?! There's been a mistake.

-No mistake, doll.

Two tons of ice cream in one unfeasibly giant scoop.

Ta-ra.

He-he-he. Excellent.

-TELEPHONE RINGS

-Hello?

-FEMALE VOICE:

-Erm, hello?

-Auntie Beryl,

I've just had today's lunch order.

-Two tons of ice cream?

-Ice cream? No, no, no.

-No ice cream here, not a single scoop.

-I'm coming right over.

PUPILS SCREAM

And what's all this his about?

Half a ton of live lobsters?

Pie-Face, diversion if you please?

Hello, have you met Paul the potato?

He's having his nap.

Oof, ouch.

Get off me!

Dennis, please tell me we are not selling cans of raspberry rocket.

That stuff's full of sugar, kids go hyper.

Good hyper? Or bad hyper?

Disaster hyper.

Ahem.

Everyone, what ever you do, do not under any circumstances drink this.

PUPILS: Wahoo!

Food fight!

-Pie-Face, get rid of this stuff!

-OK, see you.

-Curly, I didn't order any of those things.

-OK, I'm back.

-You get rid of it?

-Yeah.

-Where?

-Oh, I dumped it in that big bin with a picture of a lobster on it.

-Cool.

Now... Huh! You what?!

THEY SCREAM

Erm, sorry to trouble you again, Auntie Beryl

but the school food inspector has turned up. He wants to...

-What is it you want to do again?

-Inspect the school food. Obviously.

Everything is all right, isn't it?

-MIMICS WOMAN:

-Yes. Everything's fine.

Curly, Gnasher. You've got to delay this inspector guy.

OK. All we've got to do is calm every one down

and get rid of an army of hyper lobsters. Can't be that hard.

Listen up, you lot! Everybody got to chill, right now! Or else!

WHIRRING AND DRILLING

Well she's not our usual dinner lady but... Agh!

SLURPING

Herbal tea. Brilliant, eh? Now we just need to...

Sorry, all gone.

Uh-oh.

WHIRRING AND DRILLING

And then there's Mrs Gnasher-gnasher-gnash.

Lovely lady but don't mention the beard.

Golly, hello, Mrs Creecher.

OK. Plan D and G it is.

Just change suck to blow.

This ought to cool everyone down.

THEY SCREAM

Walter? Disguise, rubbish. Timing, perfect.

-Walter!

-I can explain. Uh. No, no, I can't.

-Two lettuce leaves and a broad bean?

-Next.

Great to have you back, Brenda.

Gnash!

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd