Episode 8 Dick and Dom's Hoopla

Hoopla!

# Fire up the van and hit the open road

# We're putting on a show from a travelling abode

# Fabulous feats that are crazy and colourful

# Prepare to be amazed by the weird and the wonderful

# Hoopla

# Everybody shout Hoopla

# All together now Hoopla

# Everybody loves Hoopla

# They'll be magic mayhem mystery suspense

# Prizes surprises it's going to be immense

# From Matlock to Margate Pontefract to Perth

# It's simply going to be the greatest show on Earth

# Hoopla

# Everybody shout Hoopla

# All together now Hoopla

# Everybody loves Hoopla. #

WIND BLOWING

CREAKING

BOTH: Hoopla! ALL: Hoopla!

# I love to love

# But my baby just loves to dance

# He wants to dance

# He loves to dance He's got to dance

# Oh, I love to love

# But my baby just loves to dance. #

Welcome to the show. We are coming to you live-ish from...

The town of Waggleit!

Welcome back to the Hoopla!

Someone here will be going away with the Golden Hoopla Trophy.

-But which one will it be?

-And we've got the Pooh brothers.

-Hang on, who's he?

-Cousin.

-I'm Enoch Pooh.

-BOTH: With an H!

Crank it up, Rodney.

We've got some of the greatest acts on this planet ready for you,

including - hold onto your tache - Hula Boy!

We've also got foot-juggling madness from Hui Ling!

He's got the voice of an angel, it's Lemar!

# I still hear your voice inside my head... #

We start today's show with the spectacular acrobatics

of Price and McCoy.

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

What are you doing?

Out.

Whoo! Ha-ha.

Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!

Hey!

Hey-ey!

Ahhh!

Aww!

Ahh!

Whaa!

Heeey! Ooh!

Whoo!

Whey!

Ow!

PHRRRT!

Hey!

Whaaa!

Hup! Hup! Hup!

Help!

CHEERING

Wow!

Whilst we leave them tete-a-tete, ten seconds to tell us

what you thought about that.

It was very entertaining, very flippy. Very...

-Now it's time for this.

-'It's time for our first game.

'The Finaleval awaits the champion of the hoop.'

Oh, yeah. Yeah!

Your chance win a go on the Hoopla hoop

and a earn your place in the Finaleval at the end of the show.

Look who it is! It's the current titleholder, Dick!

Look at that.

All bought and paid for. What's your favourite food, chips?

Come on. Come over here. Hang on a minute.

I'm just going to flick your pecs.

BOING! BOING!

BOI-OI-OI-OING!

Solid muscle.

Look at it rippling away.

And now, ladies and gentlemen,

I'm going to stick my digit in his...bellybutton.

SQUELCHING

POP

Ladies and gentlemen, Dick's bellybutton cheese.

-Bleugh!

-I wondered where I put that.

OK, we need a challenger to take on the mighty Dick over here.

-Who's going to challenge him?

-Me!

-Me!

Right, you. Give Anthony a big round of applause.

APPLAUSE

-All right, Anthony, what's your name?

-Anthony.

-Lovely to meet you.

You're going to challenge the mighty Dick over here.

-Do you fancy your chances?

-Yeah.

-All right.

To give us the challenges, over here,

we have personal trainer to the stars'...plastic surgeons - Lewis!

CHEERING

Lewis, what's the first challenge?

The first challenge is a star-jump challenge.

For stupid people watching at home, what is a star jump?

That, ladies and gentlemen, is the perfect example of a star jump.

You've got 20 seconds in order to do as many star jumps

as you possibly can.

Lewis will be counting. Anthony, you will take the place first. OK.

Your time, Anthony, starts...now.

BELL RINGING

SHOUTS OF ENCOURAGEMENT

-BELL RINGS

-Stop.

Anthony, well done, it was good, but Lewis,

how many star jumps did Anthony actually do?

-31.

-31!

That's over 1.5 per second. That's incredible, 31.

Now, ladies and gentlemen,

it's time to bring out the current titleholder.

It's Dick, who will now flap like a little birdie.

10 seconds and your time starts now.

BELL RINGING

Come on! Put your back into it!

Come on, you muppet!

That's it. Come on.

Come on, come on, come on, come on, come on!

-BELL RINGS

-Stop!

How many star jumps did Dick manage to do in 20 seconds?

-He was going like the clappers.

-31.

-Oh!

31. Well done.

So, currently it is neck and neck and now we reach the next round.

-Lewis, what's the next round?

-The Chop My Flying Balls challenge.

-What happens in this game?

-I throw the balls to the challenger

and they have to karate chop the balls.

-What muscles is this good for?

-You need good arms.

-Good arms.

Let's see your arms. Show me your guns. Oh.

Show me... No, don't. OK. There we are, here are the balls.

Anthony, don't fall off the back of the stage, whatever you do.

One point for every one you strike. Your 20 seconds starts now.

BELL RINGING

One. Two. Oh, no. Three. Four. Five.

Six. Seven. Eight. Nine.

Ten. 11. 12. 13.

-14. 15.

-BELL RINGING.

Anthony managed to get 15 balls.

15 or more to beat.

OK. Ready? 20 seconds, and your time starts now.

One. Two.

BELL RINGING

Oh! Hang on a minute.

-That last one, it was on the bell, does it count?

-It doesn't count.

-Oh.

OK, how many, after that 20 seconds, did Dick manage to complete?

-16.

-16! Look at that!

So, we've reached the final round.

-Lewis, what is the final round?

-The final round is squat jumps.

Squat jumps. For stupid people at home, what is a squat jump?

I see. Squatting and jumping. Exciting. All right, then.

Anthony, you need two more than Dick in order to win

the Golden Hoopla Hoop and get your place in the Finaleval

at the end of the show, with the possibility of winning

the Golden Hoopla Trophy.

Good. All right. So, both step forward.

You have 20 seconds to do as many squat jumps as you can.

Your time starts...

PHRRRT

..now.

BURPING/FARTING SOUND EFFECTS

-BELL RINGING

-Stop.

-Stop what you're doing.

-My legs!

-OK. The moment of truth. I can tell you

that Dick managed to get 12.

So, Anthony, you need 14 in order to go through to the Finaleval.

Lewis, how many squat jumps did Anthony manage to do?

-Anthony managed to do 19.

-19!

CHEERING

19 squat jumps. Anthony, congratulations, my friend.

You beat Dick and now it is the Golden Hoopla Hoop.

Three, two, one, hoopla!

BOING! BOING! BOING!

Take him away.

We'll see you at the end of the show in the Finaleval.

-You got beaten again. How do you feel?

-Chips.

-Really?

-Any further thoughts on what you'll do next time?

-Chips.

-Brilliant.

-And now prepare to be amazed.

-'It's Hoopla game number two.

'Beware The Hand of Cackamanga.'

One of these people will win another Golden Hoopla Hoop as long as

they steer clear of the Hand of Cackamanga.

If you get smeared by the juice, you are out. The last one standing wins.

Are you ready? ALL SHOUT

BOTH: Cackamanga.

Come on, then!

# You can run but you can't hide

# From the Hand of Cackamanga

# If you don't slip you'll certainly not slide

# You'll be waving your fist in anger... #

Watch where you're going!

# Sam has gone

# Sam has gone

# Cos he got the Hand of Cackamanga

# George is gone

# He's gone away

# He got slapped by the Cackamanga Hand

# You can dodge... #

Whoa!

# Don't look away

# It needs its prey the Hand of Cackamanga

# Cackamanga, Steven's gone down

# Cackamanga, Cackamanga

# Cack-cack-cack Cackamanga

# You have no choice

# You got no time to put your coat on, anga

# Cackamanga, Cackamanga

# Feel the smack of the handy wanga

SHE SCREAMS

# If you can, win the prize

# And for now you've gone

# Cackamanga, Cackamanga

# Cack-o Cack-o Cack-o Cack Cack

# Cackamanga, whoa!

# Tia and Eve, say good eve!

# You gone... #

That way!

# Look out, boy Look out, girl

# Cackamanga's gonna cross your world

# Drive away! You can't get far

# Don't be dumb It's only a bumper car

# Drive real fast and doge the goo

# But in the end the hand will come down on you

# We got a winner! #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

We have a winner, ladies and gentlemen. Look! Look, look! Whoa!

Whoa! You haven't got her! Get back in the car!

We don't have a winner!

# Winner! #

Ahhhh!

# No, no, don't have a winner

# No, no, don't have a winner

# No, no, don't have a winner

# You got the Hand of Cackamanga... #

We have a winner! We have a winner! We have a winner!

-I won!

-The winner is Amy!

Well done, Amy. You got a bit stuck, but you got out and you won it!

You've got 20 seconds now to hoopla!

Take her away! We'll see you later in the Finaleval.

But now, foot juggling from Hui Ling!

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

CHEERING

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

GASPS AND APPLAUSE

LOUD APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

Whoa, look at her, eh?

Come here. Right, tell us how good that it act was

in 10 seconds, whilst juggling. Go!

-Go!

-CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

-Go!

BOING!

Well, let's have a look at what else is coming up on the show.

Yes, plenty more tiptop, big top, top hat entertainment to come,

with music from Lemar,

and unbelievable tricks from Hula Boy,

plus loads more Hoopla-style games,

leading to that all-important Finaleval,

where one in lucky winner, that's right, ladies and gentlemen,

just the one lucky winner,

will receive a prize that money just can't buy!

But first...

# We were very happy

# Well, at least I thought we were

# Can't somebody tell me

# What got into her?

# We had a house and a home and a family

# And a man that loved her so

# Who'd believe she'd leave us to join a...

-# Hoopla!

-# ..show?

# Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose?

# Here's a picture when she was my sweet Mary Jo

# Now she's got rings on her fingers and bells on her toes

# Say, has anybody seen my sweet Gypsy Rose? #

That's your lot.

CHEERING

RRRRIP! Ripper! Hiya!

AUDIENCE: Hiya!

I'm Gypsy Rose Dick.

Some people call me GIPsy Rose Dick. Know why?

Because...

HE WRETCHES

HE GARGLES

LAUGHTER

Ooh!

BLEURGH! Right, these are my Cards of Fate.

We've got two players coming up

to drink their lush pints,

and at the end of this, someone's going to win another one of these.

The Golden Hoopla Hoop!

AUDIENCE: Oooh!

I've told you!

You've got to show me...

HE SHOUTS ..some respect!

AUDIENCE: Sorry!

It's all right! Shall we meet the contestants? Here they are.

Give them a round of applause as they come up.

Shaniah. Come on, up you come!

Don't be scared!

APPLAUSE We've got Shaniah over here

and Katie on this side.

-How are you doing? You all right?

-Yeah.

Good. Do you like food?

-Do you like eating?

-Yes.

I've got some luscious stuff today.

Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

the clowns'll see it and spill their guts!

BLEURGH!

Lovely! You're going first, Shaniah. Pick a card.

Show everyone at home what you've got.

What is it? Boiled cabbage!

A lovely start for you there, Katie. Let's get the bowl of cabbage out.

Ooh! Ten seconds, start now.

Eat as many spoonfuls as you can, and make sure you swallow it!

That's one.

It's nice, isn't it? It's been boiling for weeks!

Stop it!

She's got three, but can she swallow it?

Go on, Katie!

-Eurgh!

-Yeah!

Three of them. They're only little ones, though, weren't they?

Three of those. Get you into your lush pint. There you are, Shaniah.

Your turn, Katie. Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

when the clowns'll see it they'll spill their guts!

BLEURGH! Pick your card.

Hold it up high, show everyone what you've got.

Cold mashed potato.

Lovely! It's better colder, isn't it? Do you like it cold, Shaniah?

There you are. Ten seconds, start now.

That's it. Get it down you.

Remember to swallow.

Oh, lovely, isn't it? It's a lovely mixture in there.

Stop it!

I think that was only one. Can you swallow?

Two! Go on, then. Try and swallow your two spoonfuls!

LAUGHTER

It's only cold mashed potato!

Get it down you!

Gone? Right, there we are!

So two of them in your lush pint, Katie. Lovely!

Right, back to you, Shaniah. Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

the clowns'll see it and spill their guts!

BLEURGH! What you got? Hold it high.

Sweetcorn! Lovely.

Right, where's the sweet...there it is.

There you go, Katie. Ten seconds, start now.

That's one. Crunchy! Sweet!

Corn!

Four!

Stop it!

Ooh! Four? Four? Four?

Swallowing it?

Got to swallow it.

Cos then it goes in her...

swallow it, then!

Lush pint.

One, two, three, four.

Do you like the look of that, Shaniah? Mmm, lovely!

Right, back to you, Katie.

Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

when the clowns see it they'll spill their guts!

BLEURGH! What you got?

-Hold it high, let's see.

-Oh, no!

-Turn it round.

-Yeast extract.

Yeast extract! LAUGHTER

Ooh! It's Shaniah. Off you go!

-Eurgh!

-Eat it, then!

Ooh, a nice big one!

Go on. Not long left! Two seconds to eat it!

Stop it!

Right, we'll just sit quietly while you finish that.

LAUGHTER

AUDIENCE CHANTS, "SHANIAH!"

Your chant were a bit feeble! LAUGHTER

It's gone! Right, so one big one.

One big one in your lush pint.

Ooh, that'll mix up well! Right, back to you, Shaniah.

Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

when the clowns see it they'll spill their guts!

BLEURGH!

What have you got? Hold it up.

Cold baked beans. Nice!

Here they are, Katie. Off you go.

One, two,

-three, four...she's doing well!

-Five, six...

-Stop it!

-Get 'em down you!

HE BELCHES

Excuse me! That was five.

One, two, three...yours is filling up nicely, isn't it?

Four, five...it's nearly at the top!

Right, this is your last pick, Katie.

Here we go. Spin them round. There we are.

Cards, cards, no ifs, no buts,

the clowns will see it and spill their guts!

BLEURGH!

What have you got?

-Cold, lumpy gravy.

-Eurgh!

LAUGHTER

Shaniah!

What a...there's no better way to finish a meal

than cold, lumpy gravy! Off you go!

Ooh, one. Ooh, it's thick, isn't it?

LAUGHTER

Stop it!

You had one, but can you swallow it?

Was it lumpy? Has it gone?

Was it cold?

Look at that, Katie. From a height.

LAUGHTER Lovely!

You've only got half a pint!

Right, that's the end of the game!

So you're going to hold onto your pints carefully

as I get out my Mystic Mixers. Here they are.

And we're going to smoothie them up. Here we go.

MIXERS RUMBLE

LAUGHTER There we go! Come on!

Putting my back into it!

Lovely! Right, Shaniah,

in your pint you've got boiled cabbage,

sweetcorn and cold baked beans.

How does that make you feel?

-Great!

-Lovely!

Katie, you've got cold mashed potato, yeast extract,

and cold, lumpy gravy.

The first person to down the pint

and put the empty pint on their head, wins! Go! Down it!

AUDIENCE: Come on, Shaniah!

Get it down your neck!

Katie's the winner!

CHEERING

Shania, commiserations, but you can take that away

as a little present. Off you go. You can finish that off later on.

Katie, come over here.

That means that you have won the golden hoopla.

We'll see you in the Finaleval later but first you've got to hoopla!

GENTLE MUSIC PLAYS

I think I've got another one brewing.

I've got another one brewing.

It's a big one, this one.

PRRRPPPTTT!

LAUGHTER

Go on, get out of there!

Oh, that's better.

Well done, Katie. Off you go. We'll see you later on in the Finaleval.

APPLAUSE

Lovely. Well done.

-Gypsy, Gypsy, Gypsy!

-What?

It stinks of rotting colon in here. You'll never guess who's on stage.

-Who?

-It's Lemar!

CHEERING

# I had a dream, it was golden

# We were children Playing heart to heart...

RHYTHMIC CLAPPING

Yeah...yeah.

# There was a king He sent the soldiers

# They had orders to tear us apart

# Oh, no

# So we ran and we ran and they chased and they chased

# But the love that we had took us up

# Flew away...

Yeah.

# A better way

CHEERING

# We were huge, we were tall They were weak, they were small

# And at last we were free We could savour it all...

Yeah.

# It was amazing...

Sing it!

ALL: # Invincible

# Together we're invincible

# They can't take you away from me

# Sound the horn, call the cavalry

# Yeah, we're invincible

# Together we're invincible

# They can't take you away from me

# No-o-o

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Ooh-ooh-ooh!

# Invincible

# Ooh-ooh-ooh!

# Invincible

# Ooh-ooh

# Yeah

# Yea-eah

# Oh...

Let's go.

# I still hear your voice

# Inside my head

# In my head...

Sing!

# Invincible

# Together we're invincible

# They can't take you away from me

# Sound the horn, call the cavalry

# Yeah, we're invincible

# Together we're invincible

# They can't take you away from me

# No-o-o

# Ooh-ooh-ooh!

Yeah.

# Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh

# Oh, no, no

CHEERING

# Wish that you

# Had chosen me instead

# Instead, yeah. #

CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

I've written a song, took me three years to write.

Goes like this...

HE PLAYS TWO NOTES

# I like tyres They're made of rubber

# Watch me, Mummy I'm a rubba-dubba-dubba... #

Who'll be joining amazing Anthony, the astounding Amy

and the ever so courageous Katie in our Finaleval? Hmm?

Who will it be?

Well, I suggest we find out as we play celebrity darts!

And will it be him... or will it be her

that wins another golden hoopla hoop?

Let's find out exactly who we've got here.

Hello. What's your name?

-Lennon.

-Nice.

-Hello, Eve. What's your name?

-Eve.

-Now, Lennon, have you ever played darts before?

-No.

Course you shouldn't cos it's very, very dangerous.

-Are you a master at darts, Eve?

-No.

-No?

-Great!

-Perfect!

All right, so what you want to do, Lennon, is stand there.

We're going to give you three darts

and you've got to throw them at a celebrity,

so what you've got to do is choose a celebrity -

point to which one you want.

You want Michael McIntyre, ladies and gentlemen.

Hello, hello!

Are you holding a shepherd's pie and a cactus?

Yes, I'm going to eat it for my dinner later.

Get the points on the objects. Go!

-Oooh!

-What was that?

-You missed everyone.

-It's all right. That's in Birmingham.

-Carry on.

BOTH: Yes!

Just missed. Try again, Lennon.

Oh!

Oh, I escaped with that!

That was a bold effort!

CHEERING

Well done, Lennon.

-There you go.

-Right, Eve, make your way to the oche-oche-oche!

And pick a celebrity.

-Cheryl Cole.

-Cheryl Cole.

-Hello, Cheryl.

-Oh, how weary. How are you, man?

Is it Cheryl Cole, or just Cheryl these days?

Well, I'll go by anything these days, pet.

Lovely cherry muffins, Cheryl.

-There's your darts.

-Thanks, pet. Baked them meself, you know.

-Right.

-Throw a dart, Eve.

-Throw a dart at her.

Oooh! Oh, that was a bit close.

Oh! Yes! Well done.

You hit the muffins, you get one point!

And for one more point, can you answer this question?

All right, pet. What was wur maiden name?

Was it Riley, was it MacDonald or was it Tweedy, pet?

Before she got married, what was she called?

-MacDonald?

-MacDonald?

-Were you Cheryl MacDonald?

-Oh, do you think I'm Scottish?

-I'm a Geordie, man. It was Tweedy.

-Tweedy!

-Oh, well, Eve, you still get one point. Well done.

-Well done, Eve.

APPLAUSE

-So in your own time, pick a celebrity.

-Pick a celebrity.

-Which one are you going for?

-I'll go for him.

-Him!

-The famous him.

-Hey, what do you mean "him". It's me, innit?

Gary Barlow. I'm great. Look at my pineapples.

What flavour pizza have you got?

Orange and lemonade.

Fire!

-Oh!

-That was a bit close to me old noggin, wasn't it?

That was very close.

Go on, Lennon.

Oooh!

-Oooh!

-Well done, Lennon.

I was really rooting for you there.

What are you doing?!

-Eve!

-Don't put your legs around me like a monkey.

There's your darts. Pick a celebrity.

Um...

-can I stick with Cheryl?

-Cheryl Cole.

Fire!

Oooh!

That was close.

Oh, no, you need to lower your sights, pet.

-Oooh!

-So close. Well done, Eve. very, very delicate.

What are you doing?

Pick a celebrity.

Um...

Which one do you like the look of?

You've got Kylie over there, Fearne Cotton, Madonna. Him?

Who do you think that is?

Um, Mr Pig.

Yeah, go for Mr Pig.

It's Brian Cox.

Go!

No, that's Cheryl Cole. Higher.

Oooh!

Oooh! So, er, unfortunately...

No, no, come here.

Come here, come here.

I'll get you.

LAUGHTER

You little...

Just watch it, you!

Eve, your go. Pick another celebrity.

-This is your last go.

-Gary Barlow.

Gary Barlow.

Hi again, Gary.

Hi, how's it going? Come on, Eve. get that pineapple for us.

Oooh!

Please don't try this at home.

Throwing a dart at a celebrity or member of the general public

would lead to a charge of actual bodily harm,

carrying a minimum sentence of six months.

In more serious cases, the assailant could be charged

with grievous bodily harm

carrying a maximum sentence of life imprisonment.

Let's play darts.

Right, now, Eve, before you play, please apologise to Gary.

-Sorry.

-I should think so too, Eve. That really hurt.

You could get a point if you answer this question.

OK, Eve, in which decade were Take That formed?

Was it the '80s, the '90s... Oh, I'm boring myself. ..or the 2000s?

'80s, '90s, or 2000s?

-When did they get together?

-When take that got together.

-'90s?

-Bang on, pet, the '90s.

We have a winner of celebrity darts.

That means we've got to remove him.

Get him out of here.

I got you!

Eve, come forward!

You've won the golden hoopla.

So you do hoopla!

APPLAUSE

Well done, Eve.

We'll see you later in the Finaleval.

Now, please keep the applause going for Hoopla Boy!

APPLAUSE AND CHEERING

APPLAUSE

THEY SHOUT

Tell us what you thought of that through the medium

and art of semaphore.

DICK LAUGHS

Go, go!

One!

-Right.

-And now, it's that time.

CHEERING

-Ladies and gentlemen, it's here. It's coming.

-It's the fin-...

Ladies and gentlemen, in the game you are about to see, no men, women,

clowns or ferrets were harmed.

Not even a little teeny bit. Enjoy!

..-eval!

-It's the Finaleval!

-Yes!

And here are the Finalevalists - we've got Anthony!

There's Katie!

Eve!

And look at her go, it's Amy!

Hoopla! Hoopla! Hoopla! Hoopla!

Hoopla! Hoopla! Hoopla! Hoopla!

Right. Get behind your podiums.

Get behind your podiums! It's time to start round one.

Hoopla!

Round one's called Brush Your Teeth, you have 30 seconds

to brush your teeth, but you've really got to give it some.

You've got to get your mouth foaming, give it some good action,

because if you do it well, you will be given more points.

Mike, you are chairing the panel of judges at the moment.

Have you got a favourite you'd like to back at the moment?

Get on with it!

-OK!

-Your 30 seconds start now, go!

Come on! Come on!

Put more paste in!

More paste!

You need more toothpaste!

Come on!

More toothpaste!

More toothpaste!

More toothpaste!

That's better!

Lovely! Stop it.

Stop, stop, stop!

What did you do to them?

-Why did you do that?

-I just gave them a bit of extra paste!

Let's hear from Mike and his esteemed judges how they did.

First of all, Anthony.

Up we go.

26.

26 for Anthony.

APPLAUSE

Katie.

You've got something on your nose, love.

All right - Katie, points please.

Right, up they go.

27.

APPLAUSE

Points now please for frothy, dribbly Eve.

Up they go!

27.

27!

And now, Amy, you've got to beat 26 otherwise you will be leaving

at the end of this round.

-Have you got anything to say?

-No.

-Good. Judges, please.

Up they go.

23!

CROWD GROANS

So at the end of round one, Amy, I'm afraid you've got the least points.

You are leaving us, you've got to ride the lion with no pride!

Well done, Amy.

CHEERING

HEAVY ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

CHANTING AND CHEERING

Enough of all that drivel. Because it's time for round two!

Hoopla!

Come forward please, it's time for I'm The Best In The World.

You'll hear some music, in the instrumental gaps,

we'll tell you to do an action - do it to your best ability!

Let's play...

# I am the best in the world

# The best in the world

# The very best at... #

With words and actions, cast a magic spell. Anthony.

Whoo! Argh! Alakazam!

CROWD LAUGHS

-Very nice.

-Alakazam! Alakazam!

Hocus-pocus!

Hoozah!!

-She's turned into a cauliflower! Katie!

-Next.

-Go!

-With actions and words, do a magic spell, love.

Hubble, bubble, I'm going to turn you into a frog. Kabam!

APPLAUSE

Hang on, you still have another five seconds.

And fairy dust as well.

Very good! Next, Eve!

Curse, I make up the spell!

Hang on, I think this is the real deal here!

...a stone!

CHEERING

# I am the best in the world

# The best in the world

# The very best at... #

Making up a song about a vegetable.

# O carrot, how I love thee

# Carrot

# It is a root vegetable and it is orange

# And I have it for a roast dinner

# Sometimes... #

Stop!

Katie!

# I want a potato A nice little potato

# I want a potato A nice little potato

# I want a potato That's all I want, oh, yeah! #

-Next, Eve!

-Um...

# Broccoli is very nice It is delicious

# Even if you add some salad to the side

# Nothing will ever end this now

# Just eat some, try it now! #

Brilliant, brilliant!

APPLAUSE

# The very best at... #

BOTH: Giving yourself a beard and a moustache.

We know you've already got one,

which resembles a moustache, Anthony.

No, no, wait, Anthony first, go.

Oh, it's a quirly one on top.

Moustache. And there's your...

Beardy-weirdy. Lovely.

-There we go! Lovely!

-Very good, lovely.

Next, Katie!

Interesting. Oh, look, very French.

Oh! Stubble!

-Designer!

-Stubble, Katie, well done.

-Lovely.

-Brilliant. Next...

-Eve.

Oh, your pencil, hold on, it's blunt. Use that one.

Ah, Charlie Chaplin.

Yeah, very nice.

A bit of Beelzebub.

There we go.

It's...

It's...

It's over!

APPLAUSE

# The best bit ever

# The best bit ever

# The best bit in the world. #

OK, now we're going to find out who is the best in the world

and also, who will be leaving after this round

so your points please for Anthony.

Very good, Anthony.

25 for Anthony, well done.

Over to Katie, magic spells, vegetable-based songs

and facial hair.

This is for the potatoes.

Oh!

-28.

-Very good.

-Eve.

-Points for Eve, please.

Broccoli song et al.

It's a runaway success, a massive score.

-37 for Eve!

-So...

Decorum, decorum.

That means the one who's going to be leaving at the end of this round

and not taking part in the final round of Finaleval is...

-Could have been the carrot.

-..Anthony.

Off you go, Anthony!

The moment has arrived.

Ladies and gentlemen, it's time for the final of the Finaleval!

APPLAUSE

We've got Katie!

Yes. And not forgetting Eve!

But who's going to be the winner?

Behind you see there are eight dustbins.

In seven of those bins are the best prizes ever to be given away

-on British television.

-Treasure.

-Yes, schatzies.

Our little clowns have deposited a schatzie in each bin

for you to win.

If you could have anything to make your life better and richer

and fuller, what would you have?

A necklace.

Is that it?!

-What about you, Eve?

-An X-box.

An egg box, amazing!

This might be dangerously close. OK.

In one of those bins is a clown.

His name's Cyril,

and he's very wrong, very angry, so if you find him, you lose.

The first person to play is the one with the most amount of points

in the last round which was you, Eve.

You've still got a bit of toothpaste in your hair but that's all right.

So think about that prize that you want, an egg box.

It could be yours but which bin ISN'T Cyril in?

Six.

Oh, Eve, Eve, Eve, Eve...

Off you go, Eve. Lift that lid.

What is it? Hold it up.

-What have you got?

-A lion.

APPLAUSE

A toy Lion! Lovely.

Right, Katie, come with me.

It's the moment of truth. Which bin isn't Cyril in?

Seven.

She's gone for number seven.

-Off you go, Katie.

-Good luck, Katie.

-This could be life changing.

-It could be a great prize.

Lift the lid!

Argh!

PUNCHING

CLOWN LAUGHS

Cyril, I tell you about this every week...

-Cheers, mate.

-All right, no worries. Look, everyone.

We've got a winner.

APPLAUSE

The winner!

It's Eve!

She's the winner of the hoop!

She's the winner!

So, Eve, look at your other half, dead on the floor,

but that's all right.

You've got the hoop. Well done, how do you feel?

-Great. I feel great.

-Oh, lovely.

-What are you going to call the lion?

-Fluffy.

Argh!

PUNCHING

Oh, no. Cyril has turned Eve into a clown.

Eve, you might be a clown and as you are,

you might as well join our carnival...

BOTH: for ever!

Thanks to everyone that's been on the show today.

But most of all, thank you to you lot.

Thank you very much to the Pooh Brothers, thank you very much!

Lovely.

Thank you to you guys for watching.

Who knows, next time this Hoopla might be coming to a town

near you-paa!

Hoopla!

'Dick and Dom would like to point out that Katie has made a full recovery

'since her encounter with Cyril and has since married a giraffe

'and moved to Plymouth.'

Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd