Episode 2 Disaster Chefs

Disaster Chefs, parents who are rubbish at cooking.

-Dinner, Charlie.

-Nooooo!

They make things like this.

And this. And this!

Disgusting.

And foodie fanatic Stefan Gates

is the only person who can help.

He's got just 24 hours to help them master a two course meal

in a professional kitchen for some fierce critics.

-Horrible.

-Get cooking!

Will they raise like a souffle or flop like a pancake?

I've failed.

Will it be Yumm or Yuck?

Start your blenders!

CROCKERY SMASHES

Today's Disaster Chef is dad of two Tony from Northamptonshire.

Here we go.

His eldest son Kai is a dance master -

street, ballroom and freestyle. Nice moves!

STRICTLY COME DANCING THEME PLAYS

Dinner's ready!

Aaaaaargh!

But, when it comes to Tony's cooking,

he's busting a move out of there.

He is a bad chef.

Tony is definitely a Disaster Chef.

There's been one or two instances where things haven't quite

gone the way I want, and the boys got a little bit ill.

Only a little bit?

Tony struggles with following instructions and being hygienic.

You never usually wash your hands,

just cos we're filming, you're washing them.

Hygiene is crucial in the kitchen.

If I was Kai, I'd be tap dancing away!

My dad can't cook bacon very well, because it sometimes gets burnt.

And I'd do a rumba away from Tony's ready meals!

I don't think ready meals are very proper

but my dad gives them to me.

My mum cooks all the cooking really,

because my dad can't be bothered to do it.

Yes, it's Mum that has to do

the quickstep in to deal with Tony's disasters.

I'd rather do the cooking myself

cos otherwise, if Tony does it, it's so bad.

Tony has one dish that he does actually make from scratch,

and that is spaghetti bolognaise.

I can cook spaghetti bolognaise...

out of a jar.

Look at that.

I think, last week, Kai was saying it smelt funny.

Lovely!

But, worse than that, there's something in the kitchen

that's scarier that the Daleks,

more frightening than a PE lesson in your pants.

I like to call it the Oven Of DOOM!

EVIL LAUGHTER

Tony does want to get better in the kitchen so Kai can keep on moving.

It would be absolutely wonderful if I could actually sit there

and prepare a meal and then the family turn round and go, "Wow!"

If he did learn to cook, then I would be over the moon.

Well, prepare for lift-off Kai,

because there's one man who can help.

He rides from town to town saving families from food fiascos.

It's Stefan Gates!

Hop to it, Kai's waiting!

HE LAUGHS

Ouch! Take two.

Well done, Stefan.

# Get ready for the launch... #

Hi Stef, come in.

Hi, there.

-Hi, Tony.

-Hi.

So, Kai, spill the beans.

Why is your dad's food so bad?

Well, like when my mum was on a holiday, he gave us food

which made us get ill.

OK, poisoning the kids, that's bad news, OK?

Have you got an example of something your dad's cooked recently?

This is what he cooked for my breakfast.

Eurrrgh!

It's like a monster on a pan!

How can you do this to an egg?

I just wanted to make sure it was done.

THEY LAUGH

Mmmm, rubber egg.

You could send that to NASA and they'd give you

billions of pounds of research money for that, it's extraordinary.

That's because it's an unidentified FRYING object!

What have you got to say for yourself, Tony?

-Err...I don't normally cook.

-Clearly.

And it's just easier to get the old ready meals.

-This is disastrous, isn't it?

-Yep.

There's only one word for this kind of cooking and that's...

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

Aha, ha, ha, ha, ha!

No, what I really need to say is there's

lots of room for improvement.

Lots.

I need to see through my own eyes exactly how bad you are, OK?

So I have a little challenge for you, all right?

It's the Rookie Challenge!

To make the perfect French toast

with bacon, Tony needs eggs,

bread, butter, bacon and oil.

Start frying the bacon, crack the eggs,

give them a whisk, bread in the eggs,

butter in the pan, bread in the pan,

let it fry, flip it, fry some more,

add the bacon, and serve it.

Enjoy!

OK, five minutes, starting now!

KLAXON BLARES

Here we go, here we go.

Five minutes is ample time to do this, Tony.

-Hurry up!

-You reckon?

Does your dad cook French toast a lot?

-Never in his life.

-Never in his life. Yes!

-I don't know what I'm doing.

-You could have fooled me.

Remember, if you're cooking at home, take care

and get permission from your adult.

Don't have all day, you know.

Get those helmets on!

It's going to be a lumpy ride.

Oh, it's supposed to be oil for frying the bacon.

A disaster beckons, I fear.

Stefan's put the spec in spectating.

Ooops!

Oh, he's got some butter bubbling, so something's being heated up,

gotta be a good thing.

That egg's not so much runny as it's making a run for it. Quick!

Come on, Dad. Hurry up!

-Yep, yep!

-Yep, yep, very reassuring.

Nothing's caught fire.

I don't think whether or not anything's on fire is

the best way to judge success.

He has done some actual cooking there.

15 seconds left.

Oooh, it's not bad!

Five four, three, two, one...

ALARM BEEPS

Stop cooking! Get it on a plate there.

Let's have a look.

Wow! There is a little bit of browned egg here.

That should be nice and firm.

That's a big sponge of wet egg

which is very dangerous to eat.

I wouldn't have that. Shall we see what this should look like.

OK, here we go, look at that.

That is, perfect eggy bread with yummy crispy bacon.

I'll have that one.

Yeah. What's the difference between these two, Kai?

That one looks more posh.

That's only cos it's got green stuff on it.

I think they're being harsh on poor Tony.

Tony, congratulations, you truly are a Disaster Chef.

I am here to change all that.

-So, I've got you a challenge.

-Ah.

If Tony accepts the challenge, tomorrow he'll have to cook

two courses, in this swanky country house, for three mystery judges,

and face a vote on whether his food is Yumm or Yuck.

-Are you up for the challenge?

-Yes, I'm up for the challenge.

Excellent! This is your Disaster Chef's hat.

If you succeed in this task,

you'll be allowed to take the hat off.

-If not, you may just have to wear it for ever.

-Ah.

I think what we should do is go and choose the menu.

-Tony, you can clean all this up. All right? Let's go.

-Let's go.

OK. Erm...

While they're off shopping, Tony's thinking about tomorrow.

I'm hoping that, with a bit of help, I'll actually be able to

produce something that surprises everybody.

I mean, there is that chance.

I mean that's the whole point, isn't it, to improve.

Don't throw it away!

Och, I never get any food on this show.

Kai and Stefan hit the local farm shop for some

fresh-out-the-ground ingredients. There's just one problem, though.

That comes to £12.50, please.

-Have you got the wallet?

-No, I don't.

Ah. Can we get, a discount of like, everything?

Do I look like Father Christmas?

A little bit.

I think what we can do is take you on the farm

and you can do a few jobs for me.

But I'm only a child! I don't work!

I feel a comedy montage coming on.

Oh, your hand's gone a bit funny there, Stefan.

You say potato, I say potAto.

There's Stefan taking a leek!

Phew, Stefan's heating up, and so is his brain.

That midday sun can do weird things to your imagination.

So any ideas for the menu yet, Stefan?

COW MOOS

A cow in wellies, yeah, the mystery judges'll love that.

OK, boys, that's great, you can finish now.

Phew.

So they're home!

-Wow.

-Spinach!

I love chocolate!

-Garlic!

-Garlic, top man!

Get a face full of that. Booya!

Eeurgh.

That's an interesting assortment.

What could Stefan have come up with from that lot?

It's time for The Menu!

-We have chosen an amazing menu for you.

-OK.

But first of all, we would like you to guess what the

-main course is going to be.

-Right.

We're going to give you some clues. Close your eyes, please.

Put your hands out in front of you.

-It's time to put some welly into it.

-Go!

COW MOOS

There's some beef, there's a Wellington.

-Oh, beef Wellington.

-Hey!

Well done! So, to the menu.

Beef Wellington with herby pancakes,

spinach and fondant potatoes.

That just means posh potatoes.

For dessert, prof... profiteroles.

It's OK, Kai, I pronounce it profit-rolls. Same difference.

Profiteroles, with hot chocolate sauce.

So, beautifully, perfectly cooked beef Wellington.

Profiteroles, lightly stuffed with whipped cream,

covered in a chocolate sauce.

This is super refined, restaurant quality food.

Is this the kind of food you'd like

to see on the family table of an evening?

-Yes.

-I'm going to show you every step of the process, OK,

and you should be able to do this.

Tomorrow, you will be doing the whole thing, on your own,

in a professional kitchen for three mystery judges.

Thankfully, Tony is going to have Stefan teach him how.

But is it a recipe he can master or a recipe for disaster?

It's time for Stefan's Crash Course!

So, to make beef Wellington,

Tony has to...

make herb pancakes.

Sear some beef fillet.

Cook some mushrooms,

fry some shallots and garlic.

Mix with the mushrooms and add some pate.

Spread over the pancakes, add some flour.

Roll pancakes around the beef.

Roll pastry around the pancakes.

Baste and bake.

Take it out of the oven, let it rest.

Add the potatoes, add the spinach,

splash some gravy on and serve.

Let's get cracking!

One egg.

Usually, what you normally do,

is you crack it on the side,

and you get your thumbs in there

like that, and pull it open.

Milk. In you pop.

OK, mix it altogether.

Knife stays on the surface there,

and you just roll it along like this.

Warning! Warning!

Bad chopping technique coming up!

-That's it.

-Haven't lost any fingers yet.

It's early days.

Yeah, you're right, no fingers lost.

Lovely.

Now, flipping pancakes.

It's a circular motion.

Semi circle, stop to there, flip it.

This might be a disaster.

Oh, come on, think positive, Stefan!

Two, three.

Rubbish!

THEY CHEER

Try and flip or you going to try and flop?

Flip-flop! Stefan's obsessed with footwear today.

Two, one. Launch it!

Go on, Tony! Give it laldy!

Again!

THEY CHEER

Let's see that again!

It's better than Stefan!

Put it in the pan and it'll sizzle.

Exactly what you're after.

So that's just on the surface, you don't

want to cook it all the way through.

Now it's time to get a clove

out of that bulb of garlic.

All right, give it some welly, Kai.

Kai!

What are you doing?!

You said give it some welly.

If you're doing this recipe at home,

always using a clean Wellington boot. Right.

STEFAN SLURPS

Gorgeous. Now, squidge it with the back of the fork

and basically mix it together with all the mushrooms.

Have they left MUSHROOM for the beef?

That's a great joke, isn't it?

SHE LAUGHS

I'm so funny!

Pudding next. It's profiteroles and chocolate sauce.

To make them, Tony needs to

boil some water and butter,

add some flour, mix into a paste,

stick it in a bowl, whisk in some eggs,

pipe the mixture onto a baking tray,

bake until golden brown.

Make holes in them, let them cool,

pipe some cream into them, put them in a bowl,

add some icing sugar and chocolate sauce, then serve.

Simples.

I'm going to entrust you

once more with the eggs.

No, no, what?!

I think Kai got a bit over-eggcited there.

Hey, Tony, pass us some of that cream, will you?

Oh, yeah, baby!

That's what I'm talking about.

No really, I really want some, just a bite.

Oh, go on, Kai give me a bit, please!

That's it! My work here is done.

All he needs to remember is the three Ts.

Timing, technique and inTuition.

And, if he doesn't get that right, we've got the three Ds.

Desperate, disgusting, disaster.

Eurgh-ha-ha-ha!

Let's hope it's not that.

Earlier today, Kai's dad Tony

accepted the Disaster Chef challenge.

He's been feeding Kai his own unique brand of burning -

I mean cooking - for years,

but to keep Kai happy, he wants to improve.

-Yes!

-Look at that!

So Disaster Chef master Stefan Gates has spent the last day trying

to turn Tony's cooking around and get him prepared for tomorrow.

-PLATES CLATTER

-Oh, careful, Tony!

It's judgement day, and Tony's going to be cooking

in Kelmarsh Hall, a big posh house with a big posh kitchen

that Tony's never been in before.

He's hoping his two course meal, will be voted Yumm

instead of Yuck by our three mystery judges.

What can possibly go wrong?

Right, here we are.

In just two shakes of a cow's udder,

Tony will be here, trying to impress Kai and our THREE mystery judges,

with some fabulously cooked food, here in a professional kitchen.

Will he do it?!

I don't know. But only if he gives it some welly!

Ha, ha, ha!

I'll go get that.

Tony and Kai have now arrived.

Tony's going to be using these to turn this into that.

Oh, and that.

This is one fancy pants place,

and a fancy pants place needs fancy pants.

Or, at least, some fancy chef's clothes,

and a fancy waiter's outfit for Kai.

What do you think, Kai?

Looks like a clown.

THEY LAUGH

Three! Two! One!

Get cooking!

What do we need? What do we need?

We need some of that!

Prepare to prep the pancake for the perfect plate of food.

TONY LAUGHS

I'll have to stop giggling in a minute.

He's like a kid. Looks like he's trying to tickle it.

Too much flour, Tony. Too much. Put some back!

It's going to take ages!

Come on. More than that.

TONY LAUGHS

Kai, do you reckon you could do all the cooking yourself?

-Probably, yeah.

-I think you could crack it,

-you looked pretty good yesterday.

-Well, apart from the egg cracking.

Yes, that left a little bit to be desired.

Is that wallpaper paste he's made?

OK, you've made a brilliant start.

Some cooking has happened,

and there are ten fingers still attached to your hands.

Any last words of advice?

-Good luck.

-Thank you.

I'm watching you.

Uh-oh. It's too thick.

I'm no expert, but it does seem a tad, well, gloopy!

What do I think, what I do I think?

How do I make pancakes? I've got no idea...

Keep calm and carry on. That's how you make pancakes.

Possibly a bit more milk.

Since it had milk in it, makes sense to have more milk in it.

What's going on here, then?

It was fine until you walked out the room.

HE LAUGHS

That's quite thick and heavy, isn't it?

Yeah, I kind of overwhizzed it.

You didn't overwhizz it.

I didn't?

No. Can you remember how much flour you put in?

150 grams.

150 grams. You did, indeed.

And what does it say in the recipe?

Ah! Right, OK.

50 grams.

50 grams, 150 grams,

mere details, dear boy.

Mere details!

This time, we will do it properly.

Pancakes scene, take two.

50 grams, not a 150.

To start falling behind schedule so early is disastrous for Tony.

Come on, Tony, get your head in the game!

Oh, dear, that pancake is just like JLS...

-# I can't eat, I can't sleep... #

-..breaking up!

It's all right, I'm sure we'll get there.

But will the journey produce some pancakes, Tony?

That's not going to work. No.

Pancake scene, take three!

It goes on.

15 minutes later, and three are all stacked up, but now

the heat is on, literally!

The heat is on and the beef's cooking!

The beef's done, now time for a lovely pancake blanket.

Now, don't forget the flour

to soak up the juices, Tony.

The flour, Tony.

You know, the stuff you used too much of earlier on!

Fold the ends and cover the beef.

That pancake is just like Girls Aloud...

-# ..kinda ooooh... #

-..also breaking up!

Oh, sugar.

One little bit I forgot.

I'm running out of time even more.

He's remembered the flour just in time,

but is the delay going to mean

the pudding is badly rushed?

Those two stick together.

And that pancake is just like One Direction...

staying together. I love them! Aargh!

Right, Tony how's it going?

I'm just conscious of the time.

Shall I give you a little hand by getting the potatoes started?

That would be super!

THEY LAUGH

Hooray! At least the beef is on.

But what's the knock on effect

of the pancake palaver?

So just to be absolutely clear,

the beef has gone in without being chilled.

Now this is really important that it

holds together by being chilled first

and then cooking it from chilled.

Without being chilled, who knows what'll happen?

Hey, chill out about the beef, Stefan. It's all kind of groovy.

I'd love to help you some more but, frankly, that would be cheating.

Move it, is all I can say. Good luck.

So, hurry up and melt butter.

The mystery judges are now arriving.

-Melt. Melt.

-Dad, how are you getting on?

I think I'm running out of time

a little bit, but...

Well, we just thought we'd just

make you feel really tense,

by revealing who the judges are.

-Right.

-OK, you ready for this?

No, but anyway...

Judge number one...

is professional cook and caterer Maria Dunham.

Maria is the resident chef here at Kelmarsh Hall.

She knows how this kitchen works.

I've been cooking for about ten years,

so, I kind of know, you know, what I like and what my customers like,

so hopefully we'll be served something

that's pretty decent today.

If you fail, she won't just give you a Yuck,

she'll make you wash all the dishes too.

Right, OK.

She knows about food and if you produce something that's not

up to scratch from her own kitchen,

she's going to be furious.

Judge number two...

is star of CBBC's Tracey Beaker Returns and the Friday Download.

It's Richard Wisker.

He really knows a lot about cooking...not!

HE LAUGHS

I really don't know none of what you just said.

What's beef Wellington?

Pofiteroles?

-MAN:

-Profiter...Profiteroles.

-Profiteroles.

This is why I never did Come Dine With Me.

Don't poison the celebrities.

-Have you been washing your hands?

-Yeah. Yeah.

Judge number three...

It's Tony's best mate, Graham.

Graham loves great food so he's always managed to avoid

Tony's cooking, until today.

The main course sounds absolutely beautiful.

It's just a shame Tony's going to be cooking it.

Graham? Oh, no!

The judges are each going to have a vote of a Yumm or

a Yuck on Tony's cooking.

It's best of three, so he has to get two out of three Yumms to pass.

But, if he gets two or more Yucks, it's back to the chopping board.

The judges are seated, but Tony's

still playing catch up in the kitchen!

ALARM BEEPS

Stress!

OK. Three o'clock.

Erm, where's the plates of food?

Ah! Slight problem there.

We're nearly there, we're nearly there.

Clock says three o'clock, mate.

-I know.

-Aargh!

Salmon, out of the oven.

Salmon?

-Salmon?

-Salmon?

-Beef!

THEY LAUGH

Now, that's where we're going wrong, you see.

Oh, no, did I not say?

It's beef, Stefan!

Does no-one know what they're doing?!

So are you feeling a little bit apprehensive about this dinner?

I'm really nervous, yeah.

Your friend better not let me down.

Yeah, well, I think he's going to let you down!

Ooh, that don't look half bad!

It's looking good.

The only problem is that it's supposed to sit for ten

minutes before it goes out, to let all the juices soak

back into the meat, otherwise it's going to end up all soggy.

But will anyone notice?

24 hours ago, he couldn't make French toast,

but today Tony was tasked with making a main course of

beef Wellington with spinach and fondant potatoes.

Here's the expert's.

Here's his. Not too bad.

Allez-y!

-Good luck, Kai.

-Off you go, in French.

-Don't drop it!

And it's about to be eaten by the resident chef Maria Dunham,

CBBC's Richard Wisker,

and Tony's best friend Graham. Will they like it or loath it?

You know you said about eating with your eyes,

I'm definitely eating with my eyes right now.

I don't eat with my eyes, I stuff the food in my mouth.

It's less messy and far more tasty, in my opinion.

This pastry here's not cooked.

Oh, isn't it?

Oh, no, not a good start.

Yeah, now I see that.

Beef looks perfect.

Yeah, beef looks amazing.

Back in the kitchen, Tony's on the pudding.

It's those, you know, those profita, profa...

profitholes things.

Running out of time.

Already used up 15 minutes.

Oh, my life!

Crack on.

-MARIA:

-That's lovely.

Mmm.

That is really good.

That is really good.

Hurrah! They like it!

Back in the kitchen, it's into the oven with the profite-ry

thingy and time to whip the cream.

Thank you very much.

Are you washing up?

-KAI:

-No. Don't think so.

You will be if your dad fails.

And that's a distinct possibility,

as all that faffing with pancakes earlier means time is up!

Ready or not, the profiteroles must come out!

They're slightly risen, but they're just a bit anaemic.

Anaemic? You mean peely-wally?

Those profiteroles should be golden brown,

like these little fellas.

Instead of all light and fluffy,

Tony's are going to be doughy and soggy. Nice(!)

For pudding, Tony had to make profiteroles with chocolate sauce.

Here's the expert version.

And here's Kai with Tony's.

Oh, it's a bit pale!

Oh, I think I actually got the smallest out of the lot.

It just looks a bit like a cow pat splat.

THEY LAUGH

-Let's go.

-Come on, let's do it.

All we can do now is hope

that you threw enough chocolate at the problem.

THEY LAUGH

I'd get hoping if I were you, Tony.

What is that?

Oh, no.

THEY LAUGH

That is not good.

Just ruined profiteroles for ever.

Oh, dear. The profiteroles are getting a pasting!

Or should that be pastry-ing?

Tastes more like Yorkshire pudding.

And it gets worse!

Chocolate's a bit strong.

Chocolate's the only good bit.

The aftertaste is...

I know, you getting it as well? It's like...

I thought it was just me.

No, no, no, it's not you, no.

The profiteroles have been a disaster.

But was the beef Wellington good enough for Tony to avoid the boot?

It's time for The Verdict!

Less than 24 hours ago, Kai's Disaster Chef dad Tony's

idea of cooking was slapping it all in a pan and hoping for the best.

We'll give it a try.

But after a lesson yesterday from our resident

-food know-it-all Stefan...

-Yes!

..today he attempted a two course meal to restaurant

standard for a panel of three judges...

the house's resident chef Maria Dunham,

CBBC star Richard Wisker

and Tony's friend Graham.

Can Tony get the two out of three Yumms he needs to pass?

Having your cooking judged by a chef, a celeb

and your best friend

is guaranteed to give you the heebie-jeebies,

so some of Tony's family and friends have turned up for moral support.

Are these judges going to give him a Yumm or a Yuck for his efforts?

Right. Judge number one.

Graham. Your verdict, please.

First, it's our Graham.

He loved the beef, but Tony may have ruined

his love of profiteroles for ever.

A very tough decision for me.

You nailed it on the main course.

But the dessert was a disaster.

I'm going to give you...

a Yumm.

CHEERING

Despite the pitiful profiteroles,

he's got one out of three!

Right.

Judge number two.

Richard. Your verdict, please.

Picky Richard liked the beef Wellington -

well apart from the beef bit -

but he thought the pudding was - eurgh - vile!

Tony, my man!

I never liked beef Wellington until today.

You changed my mind, I really enjoyed it.

Was really looking forward to the dessert.

I'm not going to lie, it was really disappointing.

My overall verdict...

is Yuck.

CROWD: Oh!

Oh, no! It's a draw!

OK, you ready for the last verdict?

Judge number three.

It all happened in your kitchen.

Maria. Your verdict, please.

Maria seemed to like the main course,

but she detested the pudding.

Give it to us straight, Maria.

For me, the pastry just wasn't cooked enough.

Meat, perfect.

Everything else on the main, really good.

But the pudding let you down so badly.

So...

..my decision...

..is a Yuck.

Oh, no, Tony! The pudding let you down.

It was so, so difficult, but the dessert, it just swung it.

That dessert was disgusting.

THEY LAUGH

No, say what you feel.

And like all Disaster Chefs, he must now face the ritual

humiliation of the Total Disaster hat!

Here we go. I'm sorry to say, that's how we need to see you.

I think it came down to the wire, didn't it?

It was close. The beef, yeah, spot-on.

Unfortunately, I just ran out of time.

Beef Wellington's not really my type of food.

I tried it, it won me over, I really did enjoy it, genuinely.

But I was waiting for the dessert and I was like,

"Yeah, chocolate man, chocolate, chocolate... What is this?"

I think Yuck overall is quite harsh, but probably the right result.

I'm very proud of you. If you'd had more time, then you would have

done it, but I'm still very proud, and it tasted really nice.

Aarghh!

Such a shame! So close!

In the end it came down to those three Ts -

Timing, Technique, inTuition.

And the timing let us down disastrously.

But, you know what? Even though the judges didn't think it was good,

even though it was a Yuck,

I've seen a huge change in Tony and Kai.

Kai is so proud of his dad,

he's eaten food his dad's cooked

that he's never eaten before, and they can just go on

and cook together and make something brilliant.

So close, yet so far.

Subtitled by Red Bee Media Ltd