Total Nightmare Dragons

This changes everything.

Come on, Toothless!

Faster, bud!

-There they are!

-Close the dome!

And so the drama begins.

One man, one dragon, one leg.

Versus one rapidly closing dome.

It's going to be close!

Ah, no way he's making that.

-Oh, what?

-Good job, Toothless.

TOOTHLESS ROARS

-Ooh!

-All right. We're up.

Come on, Snotlout. Nobody's been able to beat the dome except Hiccup.

-Nobody till now.

-Guys, this was supposed to be a drill.

Do you have to turn it into a game?

Don't we always?

-Fair point.

-Twas once a drill, then it became a game.

Now, it is theatre!

Let the drama unfold!

Whatever it is, it's my turn.

I'll wager he loses an eye.

Ha-ha! On the contrary,

I predict that Act One, Scene One

will conclude with the loss of a gall bladder.

Or perhaps a leg.

What say you, young Hiccup?

OK...

DISTANT SCREECH

Hey!

Stay focused, Hookfang.

Whoa, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa! Keep your head in the game.

Hookfang!

He has emerged from the forest!

And what of his gall bladder?

Impossible to say.

The tension continues to build.

Whaa!

And time runs out for our plucky little antihero.

I love a ticking sundial, don't you?

-Indeed!

-Guys, please.

ARGH!

Hookfang! Beat the dome, hurry up!

Aha!

CRASH!

Snotlout, are you OK?

Define OK.

-Where's Hookfang?

-That's what I'd like to know.

I've got some words for that dragon!

SCREECHING

Hookfang! Hookfang, where are you?

Finally, there you are.

Hey, whoa. What's with the attitude?

I'm supposed to be mad, here.

You OK, Hooky?

Ah, you've got to be starving.

Come on, Hookfang, let's get you back to Dragon's Edge.

Here, Hookfang.

Ow!

What? You love mackerel.

HE SNARLS

Whoa!

Hookfang... Ah!

Everybody saw that, right?

Yes, we did, my friend, and it was delightful.

Good sir, can you re-enact it for us?

No, I'm talking about Hookfang.

-He's acting weird.

-How's that?

Well, he didn't listen to me during the race.

He ran away, he just spit fish in my face

and then threw me against the wall.

And this is weird, how?

You have to admit, Snotlout,

that does kind of sum up your relationship with Hookfang.

HE GROWLS

If you're coming over here to tell me I'm crazy, save it.

You know what, Snotlout.

-You're right.

-I am?

No-one knows your dragon like you do.

If you really think something's wrong with him,

then lock him in a pen for the night so he doesn't hurt himself.

Then we can see how he's doing in the morning.

Yeah. Yeah, maybe I'll do that.

HE GRUMBLES SADLY

Don't look at me like that.

This is for your own good.

See you in the morning.

BANG!

Hey, Hookfang! You feeling better?

Who wants tuna for breakfast?

Hookfang?

Hookfang?!

Hookfang's gone! He broke out of his pen last night.

Then this might be more serious than we thought.

Great. I accept your offer to help in the search.

Come on, Toothless. Up, bud.

Fly, bud. Do something, bud!

OK, OK. Calm down, Snotlout.

We'll help you look for Hookfang.

Oh, yeah, you will. It was your idea to leave him alone in his pen

in the first place.

Hookfang! Hookfang?

Easy, bud. The sooner we find Hookfang,

the sooner we'll get Snotlout off your back.

Give me your eye thingy.

You mean my spyglass?

SCREECHING

That sound. We heard that right before Hookfang weirded out.

-Go that way!

-Would you just...?

OK, OK. Let me fly the dragon.

That sounded like a Monstrous Nightmare.

This place again? This is where I found him last time.

HE ROARS

Look, there's another Monstrous Nightmare!

That's not just a Monstrous Nightmare -

that's a FEMALE Monstrous Nightmare.

A female Monstrous Nightmare?

Now it all makes sense.

My dragon has a way with the ladies.

Must have picked up a few pointers from his master.

I doubt it. She's not dry heaving.

OK, shush.

Hookfang, time's up. Let's go.

Snotlout, you might want to tread lightly.

He's looking a wee bit... territorial.

-MOCKING:

-"Territorial." Thanks for the advice, Hiccup.

But like you said, nobody knows my dragon like I do.

So, when it comes to Hookfang, I handle my own business.

Hookfang, girl Hookfang.

-What? Hey!

-SIZZLING, COUGHING

Yeah. He's a little busy right now.

Snotlout, it's not that bad.

It could have been a lot worse.

I fear not, fair maiden.

Hookfang clearly made a decisive choice

in that moment, and thus acted upon it.

Showing, not telling.

The number one rule in theatre.

What better way to achieve that than by setting one aflame?

Kid all you want. But I know that dragon, I know what's in his heart.

And I know what's in his head. He will come back to me.

-He always does.

-Eh...

-Oh, what?

-You're going to tell me he's never coming back?

-Eh...

-Fishlegs?

-Hookfang wouldn't follow his training, he wouldn't eat.

He ran away twice.

He picked another dragon over you.

-Don't forget the fire thing.

-Right. He pushed you away.

All the symptoms are there.

-Symptoms of what?

-I think Hookfang is going feral.

-THEY GASP

-No, not going feral!

The cruellest turn of events!

-Wait, what's "going feral" mean?

-I have no idea.

It means that meeting this female Monstrous Nightmare

has reawakened his primal instincts, and he's returning to the wild.

Oh, shut up, fish face.

What do you know? Hookfang needs me.

It's nature, Snotlout. You can't fight it.

Watch me.

Bravo! Bravissimo! Encore!

-Oh, what theatre.

-Yes, and what a cliff-hanger!

Scary idea, huh?

That one of our dragons might just one day go back to the wild?

You'd never do that to me, would you, bud?

-I didn't think so.

-Come on.

If it was going to happen to anyone, it was going to be Snotlout.

I mean, none of us have to worry.

Right?

What smells so good?

HE HUMS

You're giving Meatlug a rubdown?

Yeah, with her favourite lingonberry oil.

Just letting her know she's appreciated.

HE CONTINUES HUMMING

Primal instincts, Thor's butt.

My primal instinct is to get my dragon back.

Hi, girl Hookfang.

I see you already got my boy bringing dinner for you. Big step.

All right, relax. I just wanted to come over and say hello,

maybe bring a little dessert for you.

I've got something very special.

What? You don't like eel?

Oops, if I were you, I'd fly away and never look back.

SHE GROWLS

Eh! Little... Eh!

Help! Eh! Here! Eh!

I have had enough of you, Hookfang!

It's time to choose.

Her or me.

Any luck with Hookfang?

You give a dragon the best years of your life and then, it's over.

Want a little more bauxite, girl?

Classic romantic comedy paradigms.

Boy gets dragon, boy loses dragon, dragon falls asleep, boy eats,

boy falls asleep, dragon eats.

-SOBS:

-Gets me every time.

I give up. If being with her makes Hookfang happy,

I guess I should be happy for him too. Ugh.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I think I'm going to go lay down

for a few...weeks.

Wow. It's really not like Snotlout to give up this easily.

What can he do? Hookfang hath forsaken him.

I too would be depress-ed, if Barf and Belch forsook-ed me.

And if I forsaked thee?

Eh, that wouldn't bother me.

We've got to get him back in the saddle right away.

That means we've got some work to do.

-What's this?

-We stayed up all night wrangling some new dragons.

We figured maybe, with Hookfang going through -

well, whatever he's going through -

-this might help.

-Guys, I don't know what to say.

-Thank Thor.

-Except that you wasted your time.

Oh, come on, Snotlout.

At least try them out.

As awesome as Hookfire, Fang Master, and Hook Blaze Fang are -

and, yes, I named them already -

I can't look at them without thinking about Hookfang.

Another cruel twist. Snotlout rejects the new suitors.

Be gone, pretenders, and never return.

I hast forsooketh thou!

Snotlout, I know you're hurting, but we need you up there with us.

Dagger's out there looking for us.

We can't be down a rider.

What if you tried riding a different kind of dragon?

I don't know. Maybe.

Yeah, there you go. How about a Nadder? Astrid?

Oh, he doesn't want to ride Stormfly again, he's already...

Too small. Too slow. Two heads.

OK, you don't like any of these dragons.

So, maybe we try some new ones.

A Thunder Drum, or Timber Jack, or how about a...?

Listen, guys. I don't want to come off as thankful or anything,

but you taught me a valuable lesson today

-by offering me your inferior dragons.

-What are you saying?

I'm saying that if I can't fly Hookfang,

I don't want to fly any dragon.

How can you be a dragon rider and not ride a dragon?

You were always the smart one, Astrid.

-Wait a minute, you're...?

-Quitting, that's right.

-THEATRICAL VOICE:

-I shall be a dragon rider no more.

What?

Time to call in the understudy.

Hey, Fishlegs, how's your Snotlout?

Oh, come on, Snotlout.

You're just hurting now, that's all.

-Give it some time.

-No, Hiccup.

My mind is made up. I'm going to say goodbye to Hookfang

and then sail back to Berk. For good.

It's over.

Hello? Hookfang?

Girl Hookfang? I've come to say goodbye.

Hookfang?!

What did you do to him? I knew you were bad news!

Make your move, she-devil.

Aaah!

HE ROARS

Eggs? What's going on here?

SCREECHING

A Titan Wing Monstrous Nightmare?

Come on! Could this get any worse?

HE ROARS

Whoa. I would stay away from that guy.

Hookfang, what are you doing?!

I don't know why I'm doing this.

But here goes nothing. You want Hookfang's girlfriend?

You've got to go through...

What are you guys doing here? Not that I'm complaining.

We came to convince you not to quit.

You want to tell us what's going on here?

It looks like two male dragons fighting over a female.

Yeah, I've heard male Vikings do it too,

but I've personally never seen it.

I bet the Titan Wing heard the female Nightmare's mating call, too,

and was drawn to it.

Ah-ha! A love triangle.

Wrong. Girl Hookfang has three eggs in that cave.

Hookfang has been helping her protect them from giant dragon.

That wasn't a mating call Hookfang was answering.

It was a distress call.

Well, we taught him a lesson, then.

-He won't be back.

-Yes, he will.

They are probably the eggs of a rival.

Titan Wings won't give up until they're destroyed.

So Hookfang didn't go feral, after all?

Apparently not. He's actually trying to establish dominance

over the Titan Wing, so he'll go away and leave the eggs alone.

-Wow.

-I knew it.

A true underdog story.

Yes, the apex of dramaturgy.

I'm proud of you, buddy.

Girl Hookfang just became an honorary Jorgenson.

Oh, boy.

-Hiccup?

-Yeah...

Remember what I said about

the Titan Wing Monstrous Nightmare coming back?

Yeah...

Hookfang can't take on that Titan Wing alone.

- He won't be alone. - Neither will you.

We've to do this ourselves.

No way! That thing will take you apart.

- Saddle up, everybody. - You heard Fishlegs.

That Titan Wing will only stop if it's dominated by Hookfang.

-He's right.

-But Hiccup -

-look at that thing. It's...

-I know, gigantic, scary, angry.

Bloodthirsty.

-Thanks, Tuff.

-Sorry.

-Writer's embellishment.

-Go get him, Snotlout.

You guys can do this.

Hey, be careful.

He's pretty nasty.

Whatever happens to us, promise me you'll protect those eggs.

We will.

-He's crazy.

-He's Snotlout.

-True.

-Yeah!

-Nice move!

Hookfang's smaller but he's more manoeuvrable.

The climax approaches.

Aaah!

This is going to hurt.

Way to go, girl Hookfang!

I always did like you.

OK, Hookfang. Time to play beat the dome.

Beat the dome? That's his great idea?

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Snotlout's never beaten the dome.

You're right, he hasn't.

OK. Astrid, Rough, Tough, you're with me.

Fishlegs, stay with girl Hookfang and defend the eggs.

All right. Keep coming, keep coming...

Keep coming!

Wha-ha-hoo!

Aw, you couldn't make that turn?

Man, you're going to hate this.

Start the dome, now!

Yes, I got it!

Oh, no.

They didn't make it!

HE ROARS

ROARING ECHOES

Got you!

Great shot, Hookfang.

Hookfang is using the Titan Wing's size against him.

He's trying to wear it down!

CRASH!

Quick! Open the dome!

HE SCREECHES

Now that's what I call domination!

Boom!

You tell them, Fangster.

Guys, look. They hatched!

And to think, I saved them.

OK, OK, WE saved them.

We saved them.

Snotlout, Hookfang! Oi, oi, oi!

THEY SOB

What's wrong with you two?

-Nothing.

-You just don't see enough happy endings these days.

Snotlout, oi, oi, oi. Oi, oi, oi, oi.