Pennod 1 FM

-Subtitles

-Subtitles

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-Subtitles

-Owain.

-Owain.

-

-Thank you, Miss.

-Hey!

-OK, sir?

-Hey, OK?

-Hey, OK?

-

-Move!

-Owain...

-Owain...

-

-Not now.

-Owza, Owza, Owza. You're listening

-to Owzie Machiavone...

-..on Radio Ysgol Ffrwd-y-Mor.

-We have very few listeners because

-we're not launching the station...

-..until this afternoon,

-so I'm live, but the station isn't!

-Owain?

-Owzie Machiavone

-when I'm on the air.

-Is this the rubbish we can expect

-when the station is launched?

-Hello, Head Teacher. This is Jen.

-Year 12.

-I want to change my subjects.

-No, scrap that.

-I want to change schools.

-Can someone help me? I'm going

-to drop one of these. Tesni?

-I would, but the doctor said

-carrying boxes is bad for my image.

-Jen?

-Jen?

-

-I don't have arms.

-Come here, Deiniol.

-Don't steal it. It's full of crisps

-and I love crisps.

-I've just put it on the ground

-so you can see it at all times.

-I'm realizing a dream today.

-I'm realizing a dream today.

-

-By working in a zoo?

-No.

-No.

-

-Being a zoo animal?

-No.

-No.

-

-Being a girl named Sue?

-Oh, yuck, don't.

-I can't get the image

-out of my mind - Deiniol in a bra.

-No, I've been asked

-to run the tuck shop.

-Mr Roberts said so last term.

-Only one person has ever eaten...

-..the entire contents of the

-tuck shop in one term, until now.

-Who else did it?

-Who else did it?

-

-Kyle, my half-brother.

-How is Kyle?

-How is Kyle?

-

-We're so worried about him.

-Why?

-Mam's cake shop's takings plummeted

-when he had a gastric band.

-He's only allowed

-six iced buns a day.

-Only six?

-You think you have problems and

-then you hear something like that.

-Tragic.

-On the other hand,

-he can see his feet now.

-Unlike you.

-Right, Mr Roberts,

-this is the new media block.

-Oh, yes.

-That's what it said

-on the sign outside.

-Media Block.

-Yes. Exciting, eh?

-Don't you dare mess this up.

-Or I'll nail your ears

-to the toilet door.

-Betsan.

-I've seen that confused look

-on your face before.

-Why doesn't my locker open?

-Yours is the one next to that one.

-Your name's on the front.

-Oh, yes. Cool.

-Are you glad the new term's started,

-Mr Roberts?

-I'd rather my face was burning...

-..and you used an iron

-to put out the flames.

-Cool.

-Cool.

-

-Ouch!

-Yes! Still there.

-No-one wanted to steal a book

-about origami written in Japanese.

-Origami is Japanese

-for folding things.

-I'm going to do loads of cool things

-for the official launch.

-Official lunch?

-Official lunch?

-

-Launch! Not lunch!

-The official launch

-of the radio station.

-We're the first school in this

-locality to have a radio station.

-That makes me the best head teacher.

-Clap!

-Mr Roberts will head up

-the new department.

-Mr Roberts?

-Mr Roberts?

-

-Hooray!

-You can't allow Mr Roberts

-to run the Media Department.

-I once saw him making toast

-in a DVD player.

-It's true.

-I'll go back to my cubby hole

-at the far end of the school.

-Mr Roberts will be perfect

-for the job.

-Since he never trained as a teacher,

-he's very cheap too.

-What happened to Mr Symonds?

-What happened to Mr Symonds?

-

-I found him one afternoon...

-..with his ears nailed

-to the toilet door.

-Who would do such a thing?

-The governors agreed

-that we had to let him go.

-When he started barking at cars.

-The launch is at 3.00pm. Important

-people will be in attendance.

-Go, Team!

-Do your best, Mr Roberts.

-Remember what happened

-to Mr Symonds.

-Moo!

-Sorry. I thought we were playing

-the animals game.

-OMB!

-Origami means folding paper!

-Did you know that?

-What kind of idiot has a mug with

-"I'm so cool, I'm freezing" on it?

-Dudes, dudettes.

-Dudes, dudettes.

-

-2006's been on the phone.

-It wants its catchphrases back.

-Is this yours?

-Turn it around.

-Turn it around.

-

-"I'm so hot, I'm sizzling."

-Eh? Eh?

-What's the word on the street? Go!

-I woke up, brushed my teeth,

-pee-pees, fed the guinea pig...

-Mr Roberts wants us to help out with

-the launch of the radio station.

-I'm doing the food.

-What about the origami?

-What about the origami?

-

-I'm doing origami and food.

-I'm doing origami and food!

-Of course, a long queue

-of people want to do that.

-I'll fold it on air

-since I'm the station's main DJ.

-You're not the only DJ.

-We all want a go.

-Mr Roberts? Are you still alive?

-Only in body.

-I was somewhere nice in my mind.

-A world without schools.

-Without children.

-Without Miss... Dearth.

-Or Darth Vader as I call her.

-We all call her Darth Vader.

-Listen. Do a good job of this.

-Darth Vader wants to impress

-these important people.

-If this is a flop...

-..I'll be the one barking at dogs

-before you have a chance to say...

-..plop!

-Get stuck into it!

-I'm really excited.

-Fold, fold, fold!

-Come with me, Geth. I have an idea.

-Clue?

-It's something to do

-with your backside.

-Do I have to take my trousers down?

-No, I was hoping you could fit

-the copier down your trousers.

-Will it fit?

-Oh, yeah.

-Joining me in the studio is Betsan

-Phillips. Welcome, Betsan!

-OK. You're in charge of the

-light refreshments at the launch.

-Tell the listeners

-what you're making.

-Food.

-Anything else?

-Drink.

-Can you give us more info, Betsan?

-No.

-Great. Can't wait.

-Remind us, when's the party?

-Today.

-Betsan, you've been a great guest.

-Thank you very much.

-Time for some more music.

-I've so much to do. Vol-au-vents

-just scream class, don't they?

-Then cheese and sausages on sticks

-but wait for the twist.

-I'll stick them in a foil ball

-to make a hedgehog shape.

-Wait, we have a scoop. Betsan's

-sharing all her secrets with us.

-Betsan, what kind of food

-can we expect?

-Delicious.

-Thanks, Betsan.

-Thanks, Betsan.

-

-I'd better go.

-The party's at 3.00pm

-and I have to do all the origami!

-Dragons, ships,

-giraffes, windmills...

-..and some you won't even recognize!

-Did you get everything you wanted

-from the interview?

-Yes. Very informative.

-Cheerio. I have food to fold

-and paper to cook!

-Who put that door there?

-Right, do it quickly

-before he returns.

-Right, I'm ready for business.

-I have chocolates,

-sweets, drinks, crisps...

-Well, no crisps actually.

-I haven't seen any customers.

-I haven't seen any customers.

-

-There are none.

-You'll make a huge contribution

-to the school's economy.

-Yes. Who wants to buy something?

-Any fruit?

-Rye bread?

-Rye bread?

-

-Please stop.

-Granola?

-This should be enough.

-Tesni, I'd appreciate some help

-to fold all this paper.

-I wonder if we have someone

-with time on their hands?

-Can you help me with some origami?

-What's the link between origami

-and a radio station launch?

-Isn't it obvious? People on

-the radio talk about things.

-Origami shapes are things.

-I think you should stop making

-dinosaurs from toilet paper...

-..and maybe, just maybe,

-start making food.

-The food!

-Betsan, the mayor's arriving

-in two hours. What are you doing?

-I can't do a thing

-unless I have a pattern.

-I'm drawing a picture

-of a sausage roll.

-Right, how are you getting on?

-Ta-da!

-What am I looking at?

-The origami.

-That's it?

-That's it?

-

-Yes.

-I'm going to find a hammer

-and two nails.

-Do you want to buy

-some sweets, drinks, chocolate?

-Oh, there's no chocolate left.

-Oops.

-Who asked you to run the shop?

-Mr Roberts.

-Mr Roberts.

-

-Excellent.

-Is it 1993, Mr Roberts?

-No.

-Why do we have a tuck shop?

-Do you think I keep my figure

-by eating rubbish?

-When you ask for a hammer,

-ask for the biggest one of all.

-Step into the furnace

-but take care not to burn!

-Tssss!

-Why am I here?

-I don't understand a thing.

-But you will understand,

-as part of your job, won't you?

-Can't wait.

-What do you want?

-What do you want?

-

-Watching the master at work. You!

-Owain likes this!

-Owain likes this!

-

-Why is it so dark in here?

-Atmos. Owain likes this!

-We'll open the blinds.

-I'm responsible for everything here.

-Apart from those.

-That's not me.

-These colour copiers

-show so much detail, don't they?

-Excuse me, what are they?

-Excuse me, what are they?

-

-Pictures of Owain's backside.

-Oh, yeah.

-I thought they were two eggs.

-I like eggs. They come out

-of an animal's backside.

-These must come down.

-Your backside could ruin my career.

-Ruin it!

-Hanging pictures of your backside

-everywhere is just weird.

-That's not my backside.

-I'll prove it to you.

-I'll prove it to you.

-

-No!

-Darth Vader said

-if I do one more thing wrong...

-..she'll find someone else

-to manage the station.

-Don't worry about a thing.

-When I finish making paper animals,

-I'll make the food.

-What could go wrong?

-I haven't been this excited

-since the 2007 diving competition.

-I got wet that day.

-Deiniol, are you sitting down?

-Uh, no.

-Never mind, I have bad news for you.

-I'll take the good news first.

-I'll take the good news first.

-

-There's no good news.

-Has my dog died? Is Mam-gu dead?

-No.

-No.

-

-Is there a global kebab shortage?

-No.

-How bad could it be then? Fire away.

-How bad could it be then? Fire away.

-

-Close the tuck shop down forever.

-Aargh! Hyah-hah-hah-hah!

-I did say you should have been

-sitting down.

-Come on, Deins.

-Listen, we'll do the interview here.

-I can't.

-I'm crying tears of sadness.

-Come on, Deins, come on.

-Put this on.

-Put this on.

-

-I can't speak.

-I had dreams for this place.

-But now, I'll never break

-my half-brother Kyle's record.

-He ate the contents

-of the tuck shop in a term.

-But me, I have no tuck shop.

-Come on, Deiniol.

-Maybe you could run the shop

-in secret and keep the profit.

-I can't.

-I've eaten all the stock!

-Hold on. I've eaten all the stock.

-In a day.

-I'm the champion. I'm the champion.

-Eat my shorts, Kyle.

-Maybe not. He might actually do it.

-He ate Mam's slipper once,

-trying to suck the sweat out of it.

-Exit Jen.

-Listen, Darth Vader's on my back.

-This interview must be better

-than Betsan's.

-You're talking

-to a young entrepreneur.

-I'll run the shop

-behind the teacher's backs.

-Radio interviews are bread and

-butter for people like me.

-Off we go.

-Mmm... butter!

-In three, two, one.

-Joining us is Deiniol, former

-manager of Ffrwd-y-Mor's tuck shop.

-The shop is now closed

-on Health and Safety grounds.

-Welcome, Deiniol.

-You have plans for this place.

-You have plans for this place.

-

-Yes.

-HE BREAKS WIND

-That was the sound of a chair,

-not what you thought it was.

-I never thought I'd say this

-but you're worse than Betsan.

-If I ask you a question,

-tell me exactly what's on your mind.

-Deiniol, to allow the listeners

-to get to know you...

-..tell them something

-about yourself.

-I want a poo.

-A big one.

-Anything else?

-A wet one.

-Deiniol, one of the great characters

-of Ysgol Ffrwd-y-Mor.

-Time for some music.

-You know that one chance

-Darth Vader gave you...

-..that was it.

-Was it?

-Who put this table here?

-Who put this table here?

-

-You did.

-Hooray. Come on, come in.

-Tesni, make room on the sofa.

-Would you like a cuppa?

-Oh, the important guests have

-arrived. Hello, important guests.

-Welcome, welcome.

-I was expecting more food.

-There are plenty

-of paper animals though.

-What are you doing there?

-Searching for my contact lens, Miss.

-If you find your brain

-at the same time, let me know.

-HE BREAKS WIND

-Who put this table

-in the most inconvenient place?

-I did, Miss.

-Deiniol, while you're at it,

-look for Betsan's brain too.

-Who's there?

-Who's there?

-

-Geth. What are you doing?

-I've eaten a tuck shop.

-What do you think I'm doing?

-What's that sound?

-Paper, with a picture

-of your backside on it.

-Eh?

-What are you doing now? A collage?

-I need something.

-Betsan used all the bog roll.

-So are you wiping your backside

-with a picture of my backside?

-Yes. It'll do you good

-to get some colour in your cheeks.

-FARTING NOISES

-Yuk! No, thanks.

-Yuk! No, thanks.

-

-Yuk, no.

-Mr Mayor, I'm Betsan.

-Oh, you're a woman!

-Sorry, the... Sorry.

-Vol-au-vent?

-Vol-au-vent?

-

-No, thank you.

-Listen up, everyone.

-Let's have some hush.

-Here is the enthusiastic Head

-of the Media Department.

-Mr Roberts.

-Thank you, Darth...

-Miss Dearth.

-As you know, the school has launched

-a very exciting project...

-..to allow the pupils

-to get involved in the media world.

-What could be better than a

-radio studio if you want to doss...

-..or are too thick

-to do anything else.

-And here's Owain

-to explain a little more.

-Um, yeah, thank you.

-Thank you very much. Yeah, cool.

-Um, this is

-an excellent opportunity for me...

-..for us, I mean...

-What's wrong with him?

-Too scared to speak to an audience?

-Too scared to speak to an audience?

-

-A great advantage for a DJ!

-I've prepared a mix for you.

-Can someone open the faders for me,

-please?

-Me, me, me.

-DEINIOL STRAINING IN THE TOILET

-LOUD FARTING

-That's Deiniol.

-The radio mike!

-That's not the one, Betsan.

-The other one!

-Yuck!

-That's what happens

-when you eat hummus.

-I hope this afternoon wasn't a true

-reflection of Ysgol Ffrwd-y-Mor.

-I can assure you it was.

-Deiniol! Where's Deiniol?

-This station will be closed down.

-I just know it.

-Where's Deiniol? Where's Deiniol?

-Maybe...

-By the time I'm done, the lion's

-den will look like a tea party.

-Photocopies of Geth's backside

-don't flush well.

-Geth's backside?

-I have enough room

-for some food now.

-Anything left?

-HE BREAKS WIND

-Sausage roll!

-A bit soggy.

-Where did that hammer go?

-S4C Subtitles by Adnod Cyf.

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