Episode 1 Gigglebiz


Episode 1

Sketch show. Featuring TV's worst DIY expert and a weather presenter who has a knack of predicting weather that happens only to her.


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Transcript


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# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Gigglebiz

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah, hoh, hoh, hoh

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Gigglebiz

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah Here we go!

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# Hoh! Hoh! #

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On today's Gigglebiz, Gail Force,

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Rapids Johnson, The Berito Brothers,

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DIY Dan, and here's Arthur Sleep.

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Hello, I'm Arthur Sleep and this is the news.

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Oh, thank you, Doreen. News just in here.

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A mirror has mysteriously turned up in a town centre.

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Police are looking into it. Hee-hee! Looking into it! Get it? Mirror?

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No? Over to Gail Force for some breaking weather.

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-Gail, what you got for us?

-Yes, thank you, Arthur.

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It seems that autumn will be arriving earlier this year.

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I always... What?!

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Debris.

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Well, at least it wasn't an early winter...

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Oh. Well, that's snow business, of course.

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Ahem. I'm Arthur Sleep.

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Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson,

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and I've just heard that there are some bears in the area. Yah!

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Hardly anyone has seen these bears. There's three in total,

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-and we might see them.

-GRUNTING

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Did you hear that? It's coming from inside the cottage.

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Come on, let's have a look, shall we?

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Hm, interesting. A-ha! What's this?

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Three bowls of steaming hot porridge.

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Could this be a clue to where the bears are?

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Hm, and one of these bowls is half empty.

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This means one of the bears must be very hungry and very close by.

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I'm gonna find this bear or my name's not Rapids...Johnson.

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Keep 'em peeled.

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Shhh!

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APPLAUSE

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ALL: Hey!

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CIRCUS MUSIC

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Hey!

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EXPLOSION

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APPLAUSE

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Hey!

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EXPLOSION

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GASPS

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APPLAUSE

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-Hey!

-Hey!

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SHOCKED GASPS

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BOOM! HE COUGHS

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APPLAUSE

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Hey!

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And now it's time for your giggles.

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-What happens if you dial 6-6-6?

-I don't know.

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What happens when you dial 6-6-6?

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-You get upside down policemen.

-LAUGHTER

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Ah! Hello! Rapids Johnson here.

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Still in search of the three bears that are somewhere in this cottage.

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A-ha! What have we got here?

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One, two... Three chairs.

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One big chair, one medium-sized chair and one small chair.

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I think I'll sit down and think about this...

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Oh!

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Oh! Yah. I...

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Yeah. What that was...

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Well, I'm gonna find those bears or my name's not erm...

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Rapids Johnson!

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Keep 'em peeled.

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Oh!

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SHATTERING

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'Today, we'll find out how to put up a curtain.'

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'First you put the curtain on the rail.

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'Then, very carefully, lift it up to the hooks on the wall.'

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'This is very tricky to do.

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'You don't want to crumple the curtain or get it dirty,

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'So take extra care.'

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'And in no time at all, your curtain is in exactly the right place.

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'Job done!'

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Hello. I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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What do you get if you cross a cow with a camel?

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Lumpy milkshakes!

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Now for more of your giggles!

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-What do hedgehogs like to eat?

-I don't know.

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What do hedgehogs like to eat?

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-Prickled onions!

-LAUGHTER

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Hello there. I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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What do you call a monkey with a banana in each ear?

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Anything you like. He can't hear you!

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HE CHUCKLES

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He can't hear a thing!

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Monkey!

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Hello! I'm Rapids Johnson.

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Still searching for the three bears.

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Take a look at these over here.

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Yes. One big bed. One medium-sized bed,

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and one small bed. And it's still warm!

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That means the bears must be close by, or even in this room!

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Let's take a look around, shall we?

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No. Er... Ah!

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No bears here.

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-I'll find those bears, or my name's not Rapids...

-Johnson.

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Thank you. Johnson.

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Keep 'em peeled.

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'There is more than one way to hang a curtain.

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'If you haven't got a curtain rail, use a broom handle instead.'

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'All that remains to be done is to put the broom handle in place,

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'and you'll have a perfect snug curtain.'

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'It really couldn't be easier.

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'All that's left to do now, is to sweep up the mess.'

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'Job done.'

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Hello. I'm Gail Force and this is your weather forecast.

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Well, today there's going to be a lot of...

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Oh! Miss.

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SPLAT!

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And that's your weather.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Hoh, hoh, hoh!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz It's time to go

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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-# Farewell, T-T-F-N

-Arrivederci

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# We all hate to say goodbye But we'll be back again

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Gigglebiz

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah Hoh, hoh, hoh!

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# Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah Gigglebiz

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# Nah, nah, nah It's time to go!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Hoh, hoh, hoh!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Sketch show. Featuring TV's worst DIY expert trying and failing to get to grips with the art of putting up curtains, a troupe of acrobats who have seen better days and a weather presenter who has a knack of predicting weather that happens only to her. Plus Rapids Johnson, a wildlife explorer who doesn't always spot the wildlife and Arthur Sleep, everyone's favourite punning newsreader. Humphrey is irrepressible and inquisitive, launching himself into a game of crazy gold together with his trusty companion Woody the dog. There are also the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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