Episode 15 Gigglebiz


Episode 15

Sketch show. Major Boogie dances on the toy shelf with his friend the Spaceman, while Professor Muddles has an encounter with another scientist who looks familiar.


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Transcript


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It's Gigglebiz!

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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On today's Gigglebiz...

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Dina Lady...

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Major Boogie...

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Rod and Annette...

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Gail Force...

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and now, it's Professor Muddles!

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# I'm a little teapot short and stout

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# Here's my... # Eh, spout? No, handle.

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Ooh, I don't know.

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# Pour me out. # Ha-ha!

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Ooh! Hello, there.

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I'm Professor Scrambled and today I'm going to enjoy some delicious

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muddled eggs. Dah!

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I mean, I'm Professor Muddles and today I'm going to enjoy

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some delicious scrambled eggs. Ha-ha!

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The problem is, I only have one egg

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and to scramble them, we need two.

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So I've invented this wonderful copying box. Isn't it brilliant?!

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Ha-ha! It copies everything you put inside it.

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Let me demonstrate. I shall open it up.

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There we are. Pop the egg inside, like so, shut the door

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and press the button.

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Off it goes. Lovely!

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BEEPING

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Ooh, I think it's done. Open it up.

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A-ha! And here we have...

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two eggs. Ha-ha! Marvellous!

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But will it work with a roast, er, I mean, toast?

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Let's give it a go, shall we?

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Right, same thing.

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Pop the toast inside the machine,

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simply shut the door and switch it on.

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There we are. Wait a moment...

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oh, it shouldn't be doing that.

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I'll just, er, check inside, see what's going on.

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Ah, yes, I see. That wasn't plugged in. Hang on.

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Just press that.

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Ooh, oh, no! STRANGE BEEPING AND WHIRRING

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It's making a funny sound. I think it needs rewiring.

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Hang on a second, I'll just get my screwdriver. Ha-ha!

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Ah, never mind. Can't find my screwdriver, anyway.

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Oh, well, I'll just get on with making my angled beds,

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doh, I mean, scrambled eggs.

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Oh, yummy, scrambled eggs!

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Who said that? Ooh!

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I don't remember bringing a mirror in.

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Ha-ha! What do you how? I mean, how do you do?

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Ooh! I seem to have made another Professor Doubles,

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whoo, I mean, Muddles. Ai-ee!

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I'm Professor Doubles, eh, I mean, Muddles.

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Or is he Professor Muddles? Ooh, well, who am I?

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Goodby-eee!

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Doctor Doctor will see you now.

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Next!

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Now, what seems to be the problem?

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Doctor Doctor, I keep getting pains in the eye

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whenever I drink a milk shake.

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Have you tried taking the straw out? Hey-hey!

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Next!

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Hello, there, I'm Arthur Sleep

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and Gail Force is standing by at a dairy farm,

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so it's time to moo-ve over there.

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Hey! Get it?! Moo-ve to the farm?!

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No? He-he. All right, then...

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Ahem, Gail, what have you got?

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Yes, hello, Arthur. Well, I'm here at a dairy farm today,

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where they have just made the biggest cheese in the whole wide world.

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Now, it's big...

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Argh!

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Eh...back to the studio, Arthur.

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Well, that was Gail Force there, looking pretty, eh, cheesed off.

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He! Cheesed off! Do you get it?

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Cheesed off.

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No? Oh, I'm wasted round here, I tell you.

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I'm going home. Where's me bicycle clips?

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And now, it's time for your giggles!

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What is a cat's favourite colour?

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I don't know, what is a cat's favourite colour?

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Purr-ple.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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That is purr-fect!

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DRAMATIC THEME MUSIC

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Help! I need help!

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Ha-ha!

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Captain Adorable, here!

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Did I hear someone calling for help?

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-MUFFLED THUMPING

-Yes, me. Can you get help?

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Of course. I can help you.

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What seems to be the problem?

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Please, call the zoo. It's the escaped lion.

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He's in my shed.

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What? Escaped lion, eh?

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Hmm, tricky...

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No need to call the zoo.

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I will use my animal-taming superpowers.

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That lion will be purring like a kitten in no time at all.

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Now, please, stand aside. I'm going in.

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You don't understand.

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He hasn't had his tea. He sounds very hungry.

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LION GROWLS

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O-ho, you're right,

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but don't worry - I've come prepared.

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Ooh! Have got a net?

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No, I'm going to offer him one of my crabpaste sandwiches.

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I...I really think we should call the zoo.

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Oh, no need. Stand aside, sir.

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I'm going in!

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Captain Adorable, away!

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GROWLING

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BANGING AND GROWLING

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Ah! Ha-ha-ha.

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He's a playful chap, isn't he? He-he-he.

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-I think we should call the zoo.

-Well...thanks, anyway.

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Oh, please...

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Don't thank me, it's what I do. He-he-he.

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Captain Adorable, away!

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Come on, you two. Tea's ready.

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Up on a toy shelf, in a bedroom just like yours and mine,

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a tired old tin soldier marches to his tinny tune.

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His name? Major Boogie.

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But when no-one's around...

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MILITARY MUSIC

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Time for Major Boogie, sir!

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FUTURISTIC DANCE MUSIC

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MUSIC STOPS

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MUSIC STARTS UP AGAIN

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TING!

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ELECTRONIC BLEEPING IN MUSIC

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'Five, four, three,

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'two, one...

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'We have boogie!

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'There's minimal life, really.'

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RADIO TRANSMISSION DROWNED BY MUSIC

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CHILDREN LAUGH

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Back to the Boogie Box. Quick...march!

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HE LAUGHS QUIETLY

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, what seems to be the matter?

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Doctor Doctor, I've hurt my arm in two places.

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Well, you won't be going back there again. Ha-ha!

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Next!

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Oh, hello. Nice to see you. Sit yourself down.

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Have a little rest, eh? It's a lovely day for walking, isn't it?

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Of course, I'm stuck sitting here while he fishes.

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Hello!

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Ha-ha! I don't know why he bothers, really.

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I mean, he never catches anything - nothing at all.

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Still, it makes him happy and at the end of the day,

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that's what it's all about.

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And he's out in the open, in the fresh air,

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not getting into trouble or mischief.

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Mind you, he's never caught so much as a stickleback.

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I mean, he says he has, but I've just never seen it.

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He says by the time I turn round I've missed it.

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So, I said, "Well, why don't you take a photograph

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"and then I'll believe you?"

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So I've given him my camera so he can take a snap.

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Oh, it'd be marvellous if he lands a big one.

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Then we can send it to the local paper,

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and that'll make him happy, won't it, eh?

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Yeah, he says he'll land a prize catch one day,

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but like I say, he never catches anything...

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do you, love?

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Bless!

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Look at that. That's pure art, that is.

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Ha-ha!

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Now for more of your giggles!

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-Hi, Justin.

-Hiya, Dylan. Have you got a joke for me?

-Yeah.

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-OK. What is it?

-What do you call a jelly that flies?

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I don't know. What do you call a jelly that flies?

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-A jelly-copter.

-A jelly-copter!

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So I said to MasterChefs,

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"Well, bring back that lovely Loyd Grossmans and we'll talk."

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Never heard another thing. Ooh, hello, my little cooling racks.

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And welcome to Dinner Time, with me, Dina Lady.

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And this is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

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Say hello, Tommy.

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Hello, Tommy.

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Now, today we're going to make some yummy, scrummy cakes -

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-rock cakes.

-Yay!

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All right, Tommy. Hold it together.

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Now first of all, take a large bowl,

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and pour in some flours.

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There we are. And now some eggs.

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And then some butter.

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Oh, not forgetting the sugar, too.

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There.

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Then give it a tiny little stir.

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There we are.

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And now it's time for my special ingredient.

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I won't be a mo, Tommy.

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You entertain the viewers while I'm gone.

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Rock cakes are called rock cakes because when they're baked,

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they look like real rocks.

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Of course, you don't put rocks in them!

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That would be silly! Ha-ha!

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Ooh! There!

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And now for my secret ingredient.

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MECHANICAL WHIRRING

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SHE GASPS FOR BREATH There we are!

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And then simply take the rocks and pop them in the bowl.

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Like so.

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Now, here's some I made earlier on.

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Ah!

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And there you have 'em - delicious rock cakes.

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Easy as pie! Would you like one, Tommy?

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-No, thank you, Dina.

-CRUNCH!

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See you next time, my little cashew nuts.

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I said that you should go and have your teeth looked at.

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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# Farwell, TTFN, arrivederci

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na, na-na, ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na, na, it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Major Boogie shakes a leg on the toy shelf with his friend the Spaceman, while Professor Muddles has an encounter with another scientist who looks strangely familiar. Rod and Annette go down to the riverbank for a spot of gentle fishing, and Gail Force gets to practise her cheesy smile whilst reporting from a local fete. There are also quick-fire giggles from Doctor Doctor. Including the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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