Episode 14 Gigglebiz


Episode 14

Sketch show. Featuring the Lost Pirate, who stumbles across an enemy in the school gym, while Farmer Dung puts on an impressive display of rounding up sheep with Reggie's help.


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Transcript


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It's Gigglebiz!

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Coming up on Gigglebiz -

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Simon Pieman,

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Farmer Dung,

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Dina Lady,

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Opera Oliver,

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and now it's The Lost Pirate.

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A-har!

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There must be some treasure round

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this strange place somewhere, Cap'n Squark.

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What's this?! Ho, ho!

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BELL RINGS

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Sssssh! Quietly does it, I...

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WHISTLE BLOWS

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Wait, what was that strange noise, Cap'n Squark?

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PEEP!

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Come on, let's go, tread carefully it may be a trap.

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PEEP! That's it. Next...

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-PEEP! Keep moving.

-Ha-har!

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Look, Cap'n Squark, that pirate's got musical treasure round his neck.

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Solid silver no doubt. Ha-har! We'll be rich! Rich, I tell you!

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Look! He's making captive pirates walk the plank!

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Hm, scurvy soul.

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We'll blend in quietly and then seize our treasure. Come on!

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PEEP! Last one.

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Oooh, careful, Cap'n Squark, don't look down!

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There may be sharks and giant octopus!

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-PEEP!

-The treasure! I can see it!

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Excuse me!

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You can't do PE wearing big earrings like that, young man!

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Not in this class. Isn't that right, crew? ALL: No!

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Look, Cap'n Squark, he's the dread Pirate No-Beard and his crew!

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Quick, oh! Retreat! Retreat!

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Ho-ho-ho! Waaaaaah...

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SPLASH!

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So to make the perfect pumpkin soup, you need 36 pumpkins.

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That should feed a family of three.

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Ooh! Hello there, my little cookie-cutters!

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Welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

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This is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

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Say hello, Tommy.

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Hello, Tommy!

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Now today we're going to make a traditional full English breakfast.

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Mmmmm...my favourite.

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-All right, Tommy, my little greasy spoon. Calm down.

-Sorry.

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Daft boy.

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So, what you'll need is a fried egg...

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SQUELCH!

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..mushrooms, tomatoes,

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-a sausage...

-SQUELCH

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..bacon and some black puddings.

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-Mm, delicious. Let's have a taste!

-Wait a second, Tommy!

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This is a full English breakfast.

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So also, you'll need some toast,

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and...some cereal.

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Right...

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Porridge...

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Orange juice...

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Kippers...

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Jam...

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SPLODGE!

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And some butter...

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SPLAT!

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OK.

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Devilled kidneys.

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Kedgeree.

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And...some marmalade.

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There!

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-Of course you wouldn't eat it all together like this.

-Ho, ho!

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Of course not, Tommy!

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You'd eat it all together like this...

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-SQUELCHING

-Ah!

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Ooh, I almost forgot...

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You can't have a full breakfast without tea.

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GLUG, GLUG, GLUG!

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There!

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On the lid goes,

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-and blend.

-WHIRRING

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Oh...and there you have it!

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One full English breakfast smoothie.

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Lovely!

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Drink up, Tommy.

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Till next time, my little tinned mushrooms.

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Now, I know it's a smoothie, but mind the bits...

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, how can I help you?

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Doctor Doctor, I feel like a train.

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Don't worry, we'll soon have you back on track! Next!

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PEEP! Good!

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Ho-ho-har! There he be!

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It's No-Beard with his silver trinket around his neck! Ho-ho!

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Soon it'll be mine! Ssssh! Quietly does it, Cap'n Squark.

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-PEE-EEP!

-Yow! That must be the signal!

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To tie me up with that rope. Quick! Retreat, retreat!

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Ooooh! Oh, no!

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Oh, out the way! Over here, Cap'n Squark. Quick!

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Ride like the wind!

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Come on, you landlubber!

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Off we go, back to the island.

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Now it's time for your giggles.

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-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

-Olive.

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-Olive who?

-"Olive" here so let me in.

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GURGLING NOISE

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PHONE RINGS

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Simon Pieman, at your service... Need a pie?

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Gotta fly!

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Right! Here we go!

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Whoa-oa-oa!

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Ha-hay! Wah! Wup, coming through!

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Oh! Whoa-oa-oa.

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Oooooh! Watch out! Wahay!

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Coming through!

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Oooooooh! Whoa-oa-oa!

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Whoa-oa-oa!

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Ooop-ooops! Whoa!

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Coming through! Whoa-oa!

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Ah! Ta-da!

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One perfect... Whoa!

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SPLAT! LAUGHTER

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..pie!

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LAUGHTER

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Ain't she lovely? Yeah...

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-Hello, Farmer Dung.

-Hello there.

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-A'right?

-I see you have a sheepdog.

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That's right, she's a real beauty, eh?

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-Is she trained?

-Trained?!

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Course she's trained. Isn't she, Reg? Shall we show 'em?

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Right then. Are you ready? OK...

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Come by...

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Come by...

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You got to go over there. I dunno!

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What are you sitting down for? Right, Reg.

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Watch Reggie. Come by! Reg!

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See, look at that. You've got to run like Reg.

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-No, Reg! Don't... Oh no!

-SPLASH

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Reg! He run in the lake!

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Oh, ho, ho!

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I tell you what, you don't want to be doing that.

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You'll get all wet, like Reg! Ha, ha. Oh, Reg!

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Right, try again? Come by!

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-WOOF WOOF!

-Oh, no...

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I don't think she's coming back!

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We need a new dog. Come back!

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Thank you, Farmer Dung.

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, how can I help you?

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Doctor Doctor, everyone keeps ignoring me.

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Next, please!

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Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson.

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I'm in search of the big brown Bulgarian bear.

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It's a well-known fact this bear can be a bit scary!

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Waaaah! Yes. It's also a well-known fact that this bear loves to visit

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the funfair. Hooray!

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Well, who doesn't?! So, I've decided to come to the funfair

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and go on the ghost train, which is also a bit scary. Waha!

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That will prepare me for when I come face to face with the bear.

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So, are you ready? Come on, let's go!

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Ah! Oooh!

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Easy!

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This is Clive, he works here.

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All safe, Clive? Great. Forward!

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Ha-ha!

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Ooh, I say...

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Aha! Hooray!

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I love the funfair!

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Woo-hoo!

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Hooray! That was fantastic!

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And a little bit scary too! Ooooh!

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It's definitely prepared me for when I see the big brown Bulgarian bear

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face to face. Ha, ha!

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Don't worry, I'll find that bear or my name's not Rapids...

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-Johnson.

-Thank you.

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Keep 'em peeled.

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-PANTING

-28 miles - champion.

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Oh! Away, bairns. Keith Fit here and today I'll do a spot of football.

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I'll take a penalty shot. OK.

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The key thing is to keep your head doon, run at the ball,

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and blast it as hard as you can in the back of the net, OK?

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Remember, I've been taking penalty shots for over 20 years

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and I've never missed...

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OK, bairns, watch and learn.

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Here we go.

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Away!

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Oh! That was...

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-SPLAT!

-Oof!

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And that's how you take a penalty shot. Champion!

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Now for more of your giggles!

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-Knock, knock.

-Who's there?

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-Ivor.

-Ivor who?

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"Ivor" you let me in or I'll climb in through the window.

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ORCHESTRA TUNES UP APPLAUSE

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# I'm Opera Oliver

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# Opera Oliver!

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# Everything's lovely Customers happy

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# All in a sunny mood

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-# What is this in my food?!

-Oh!

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# Oh my, it's a fly!

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-# No, it's not

-Yes, it is

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-# No, it's not

-Yes, it is

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-# It's not

-It is!

-It's not!

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# It's a fly! #

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Oooooh!

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# Look at him swimming He's as happy as can be

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# He's a little bambino with nowhere to go

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# Can't you leave him be?

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# Squash him, splash him

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# Tempt him with bits of cheese

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# Lick him, prick him

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# Oh, can't you leave him, please? He's such a little thing

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-# He's only a fly

-# He's only a fly

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# In the soup did fall

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# You stopped me from cooking and while you weren't looking

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# He's gone and drunk it all. #

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FLY BUZZES

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CHEERS AND APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE CONTINUES

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Ho-ho!

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Sketch show. Featuring the Lost Pirate, who stumbles across an arch-enemy in the school gym, while Farmer Dung puts on an impressive display of rounding up sheep with Reggie's help. Intrepid explorer Rapids Johnson braves a ride on a ghost train in search of a rare bear at the funfair, and Dina Lady presents an interesting new way of preparing the ever-popular full English breakfast. There are also quick-fire giggles from Doctor Doctor. Including the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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