Episode 3 Gigglebiz

It's Gigglebiz!

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

Ho-ho!

On today's Gigglebiz, Simon Pieman,

Gail Force,

Keith Fit.

Introducing Rod and a net.

And Professor Muddles.

Yes, I will, Mother. Yes...

..Yes, I'm wearing fresh underwear. All right. See you, Sunday. Bye!

I don't know. Oh! Hello there. I'm Professor Puddles...

I mean Cuddles... D'oh... I mean Muddles. Now, I'm often asked,

"Why is glue sticky?" It's a good question. Let's find out.

As we know, there are lots of types of glue. There is, um...

glue here for, um, sticking paper. Heh-heh. Ooh! Oh, dear,

seem to be a bit...stuck.

Heh-heh. Um, never mind.

Secondly, we have glue here for sticking metal. Very handy indeed.

Oh, no...

I just need to get that off there and...

Oh, that's better. And, er, finally, over here,

we have glue for sticking wood. There.

Now... Uh, oh, what's going on? Oh, dear.

I seem to be a little, er, stuck. Heh-heh! Hang on a second.

We know that if you want to solve a problem, we need... Oh! Oh, dear!

I, er - heh-heh - seem to be very sticky today.

Um, yes, well, um, I'm Professor, er, Puddles... Oh, no!

I mean Cuddles. I mean, er, Muddles. Goodbye-ee!

-GEORDIE ACCENT:

-Away, bairns. Keith Fit here

and today I'm going to show you how to pole vault.

Now I've been pole vaulting for 20 years so I know what I'm doing.

All reet! Now, safety first.

This is a crash mat.

It's nice and soft

so you can hurl yourself on it and you won't get hurt.

All reet, down to business.

You take your pole and you run as fast as you can

and you hurl yourself over the bar

onto the crash mat

using your pole.

Let's get down to business. Watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

Oh... Oh, my back. Oh...

HE GROANS

Oh, by gum. Ow...

-EXHALES

-And that's how you pole vault.

Champion!

LIGHT JOLLY MUSIC

Doctor Doctor will see you now.

Next!

Ah, now, what seems to be the problem?

Doctor Doctor, I think I need glasses.

You certainly do. This is the fish-and-chip shop. Ha-hey! Next!

TUMMY RUMBLES AND GURGLES

PHONE RINGS

Simon Pieman at your service.

..Need a pie?

Good. Right!

PACEY MUSIC

Right, here we go!

Oh, whoa!

Whoa!

Woo-ooh! He-hey!

Whe-ey! Oops! Coming through!

Whoa!

Woo-oo-ooh! Woo-oo-ooh! Wu-hey!

Woo-ooh! Watch out!

Hey! Whoa! Coming through!

Woo-o-oh! Whey-hey...

Oh... Phew!

Now, one perfect...

..pie.

And now we join Gail, our roving reporter,

who's taken a visit to the health clinic. Gail?

-Hello, Arthur. Well, today I'm here with Sharice.

-Chantelle.

Chantelle. And she's going to give me some top tips

about staying young and beautiful.

Chantelle, what have we got here?

-Well, it's made from seaweed...

-Oh!

..but it's good for your skin so you should try it.

That sounds wonderful. I can't wait.

-Right, I'll just get...

-It smells nice, too. It must be a mudpack

so I think I must put my face in here.

SQUELCHING

-Yes.

-Now, the key thing is to use the tiniest...

-What?

-Oh...

Huh... Um...

-Um...

-Back to the studio. Arthur?

Well, that was Gail Force there literally wearing that seaweed.

Oh, which reminds me... Why did the sand run away? Because the sea weed.

Ha! Seaweed! Get it? Hee-hee-hee. And now this.

Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson in search of a big Bulgarian bull. Moo!

And it's said it roams these parts. Now, I've just taken some time out

to have a crum-diddli-umptious picnic. That's it over. I'm full.

Phew. And now it's time to pack up and get on with my expedition.

Right. Now, they do say that red attracts bulls.

But I can tell you that is not true at all.

Eh... BULL BELLOWS

Ah... Ha-ha, sounds like I may be wrong.

I'm Rapids...JOHNSON!

Keep 'em! BULL BELLOWS

And now it's time for your giggles!

-Hey, Justin.

-Yes, Thomas?

What do you call a camel with three humps?

What DO you call a camel with three humps?

-Humphrey!

-Hey!

When I eat ice-cream, I always put three lemons on top.

Hello, my little nutmegs. Welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

This is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

Say hello, Tommy.

Hello, Tommy!

Today, we're making a special pudding. A pear crumble.

-Hurray!

-All right, Tommy. Calm down.

For this, you'll need a crumble dish.

Like this one. I've got some crumble mix over here.

And some lovely custard.

There. All we need now are the pears. I won't be a mini-mo.

Pears are a fruit. They grow on trees. They're yummy in a crumble.

All right? Tommy, why are you playingwith those funny apples?

We don't need those!

I don't know - daft boy!

Nice, though. Where was I? Oh, yes.

The perfect pear crumble. Put a pair of shoes in your pot.

Of course, you can use a pair of sunglasses.

Or, if you prefer, a pair of pants. There we are.

-In fact, a pair of anything.

-Dina...

Of course, Tommy, my little dough ball. Silly me, I forgot.

-Thank you.

-Here goes the crumble mix on top.

There we are. Lovely.

And finally, add custard to your pear crumble.

There. Lovely. Ooh, look at that.

Till next time, my little cookie cutters.

-Fancy a slice?

-I'm on a diet.

Oh, hello. How nice to see you. Sit down, have a rest.

I've got to sit here while he fishes.

Coo-oo!

He shouldn't bother. He never catches anything.

And the sign says "Beware of the shark,"

Like he's ever going to catch one!

He couldn't catch a cold!

I shouldn't laugh. It keeps him happy, that's what it's all about.

He's out in the fresh air not getting into mischief.

I get time to myself. I wouldn't mind if he DID catch a shark.

Lovely big fish like that. Mind you, it wouldn't fit in our tank.

But he never catches anything.

Do you, love?

Bless.

Could you help me with six across? It's a really hard one.

Doctor Doctor will see you now. Next!

-What seems to be the problem?

-Doctor Doctor, I think I'm invisible.

Who said that? Ha-ha!

Next!

Gail Force is at a country fair with Morris Dancers. Gail.

Yes, thank you, Arthur. I'm here... Oh!

..in the village of Giggleton...

The local Morris dancers are doing their lovely jig.

Now, I...oh!

What? Hang on. Can you hear me? What...? Oh, never mind.

Thanks very much, Gail.

Which one of those dancers was Morris? Hee-hee!

I'm Arthur Sleep.

Now for more of your giggles!

-Justin.

-Yes? Have you got a joke?

-Yes.

-Go on.

-What do you call a place where sick fairies go?

-I don't know.

-The ELF centre.

-Ha-ha-ha!

-Next! Hello, dear.

-Hello.

-Sit down. Ooh!

That is remarkable. I never thought I'd see one of these again.

-Er, that's my mobile phone.

-Oh, no!

I am the expert. This is in fact an antique paperweight.

Probably dating back hundreds of years...

RING-RING! Oh. Have a listen to its chime.

-Can I just...

-That's stopped it.

My mistake. This is an antique music box.

Probably owned by King Henry VIII. Things were so well made back then.

Almost perfect. Though it doesn't close properly.

-Never mind. Thank you for bringing it in, Mrs...?

-Blenahazard.

-Moving on!

998, 999. Come on, Tone. 1,000. Keep going.

1001, 1002... Oh. 'Oway, bairns.

Keith Fit here. I'm showing you how to do weightlifting. Safety first -

Weights can be very heavy. Always use a buddy.

This is Tony. I've been weightlifting for 20 year. I know about it. OK?

Watch and learn. Transfer the weights to me. Just going to...

CRASH

And that's how you weightlift. Champion.

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

# We all hate to say goodbye

# But we'll be back again

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na It's time to go

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

Ho-ho!