Episode 8 Gigglebiz


Episode 8

Sketch show. Singing waiter Opera Oliver plays gooseberry between two romantic diners, while Simon Pieman delivers a delicious cream-filled pie to a tennis umpire.


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Transcript


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It's Gigglebiz!

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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Ho-ho!

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On today's Gigglebiz, Opera Oliver!

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King Flannel!

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Simon Pieman!

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Keith Fit!

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And here's Farmer Dung!

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Hello, Farmer Dung.

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-Farmer Dung?

-Oh!

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Hello, there! All right?

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-It's a lovely day today.

-Arr, it's a beautiful day.

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Sun's in the sky, corn's in the fields.

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Time for the 'arvest.

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The harvest is the most important time of the year for a farmer.

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No, 'arvest! Reggie's got an 'arvest.

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Is Reggie doing the harvest?

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No! Reggie, come here!

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Look, see! R-vest!

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R is for Reggie, and he's got an R-vest, get it?

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R-vest! Hahahaha!

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Oh, Reggie!

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I crushed me...!

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I crushed me lettuce! Look at that! Ha-ha-ha!

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-Thank you, Farmer Dung.

-Oh, that's all right.

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Oh, Reggie! Look at the peas! Oh, no! Me courgette!

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You, ohhhh!

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ORCHESTRA TUNES UP, APPLAUSE

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# I'm Opera Oliver

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# Opera O-liv-er!

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-# Ooh, I love you

-And I love you

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# It's romantic, don't you feel?

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# Coming through! Here's your two meatballs! Enjoy your meal!

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-# You are precious

-You are handsome

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# In the light of the silvery moon

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# Coming through! Here's a nice ice cream and I'll be back very soon

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# You tiny hand is frozen

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# That waiter's rather rude

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# Coming through! Don't you like it?

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# You've hardly touched your bowl! #

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ALL: # Leave us alone Just on our own

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# Just go, now, go Walk out the door

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# We don't want you any more!

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# But I love you, really love you

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# Is there anything you lack?

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-# No, we're off

-They're off!

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# Yes, we're really off and we won't be coming back. #

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Pbbbbttt!

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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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APPLAUSE

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CHEERING

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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-Hey, Justin...

-Yeah.

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Where does a wasp go if it's sick?

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I don't know where does a wasp go if it's sick?

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To a "waspital"!

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LAUGHTER

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Very good...!

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-Majesty?

-Eh?

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Me? No!

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SPLOSH! SPLOSH!

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CROW CAWS

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SQUEAKING

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SQUEAKING

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..97, 98, 99! Ooh! 800!

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A new record! Oh!

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Howay, ya bairns! Keith Fit here.

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Today, we're doing a spot of dribbling.

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Now, I don't mean the type of dribbling you do

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when Aunty Enid makes your favourite cake like this one.

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Ho-ho! Lovely.

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I mean dribbling with a football.

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OK, let's get down to business.

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Um, I'll just put this cake down, safe and sound.

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OK. We'll come to that later on.

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Now, I've been dribbling for over 20 years,

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so I know what I'm talking about. OK, bairns, watch and learn.

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Right, start back here.

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Always keep your eye on the ball at all times.

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Here we go! Right!

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Skills! Howay, man!

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Oh, skills, here! It's going right.

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You put that in the...

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SPLAT!

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And that's how you do your dribbling!

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Champion!

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Look what I've got for a special treat. Chocolate cake!

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Yummy!

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Ha-hargh!

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We be nearly there, Cap'n Squawk!

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Soon we'll have treasures and riches the likes of which we've never seen!

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Right, now...

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According to the map, ah-hargh!

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It be ten paces forward...

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Come on, Cap'n Squawk!

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One, two, three, four...

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five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!

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Two paces to the right. Arrgh, which be right?

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Arrgh, OK. One, two.

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And three paces forward to the treasure, ha-harrgh!

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On, two...

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Ooh, that be close, Cap'n Squawk.

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No, look! It be the dread pirate, Stubblybeard...

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and his crew! Run! Run!

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Oh, quick! Retreat! All aboard the galleon!

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Come on, Cap'n Squawk, d'oh...

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Row! Row like the wind!

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Come on, Squawky, put your beak into it!

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Oh! No, we're not nearly there! Oh, come on!

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, what seems to be the problem?

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Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a dog.

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-How long have you felt like this?

-Since I was a puppy.

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D'oh! Next!

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DOORBELL RINGS >

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SPLAT!

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CROWD: Oooh! Ohhh!

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HIS STOMACH RUMBLES

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CROWD: Oooh!

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PHONE RINGS

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Simon Pieman, at your service. PHONE BURBLES

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Need a pie? Got to fly!

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CROWD: Oooh! Ohhh!

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Right! Here we go!

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Whoa...

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Whoah-oah-oah...

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Whoahh! Whuph! Coming through!

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Whoa...

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Watch out!

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Wahey! Coming through!

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Whoah-oah...

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Whoah!

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Woo!

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Ha!

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Da-daa! One perfect p...

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SPLAT!

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APPLAUSE

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..pie!

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All right, see you there, bye!

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Hello there, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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Today, we're going to join Gail Force at a train station somewhere.

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Gail, where are you?

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Thank you, Arthur. It's a very exciting day here.

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I'm on platform 47 at the station of Little Bottom,

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and behind me is the fastest train in the world. Hooray!

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Oh, and even more exciting, I've been invited on board

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for its first journey. Just one more thing to do...

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There we are. Bit of lipstick, there...

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And I'm ready! All aboard!

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Oh, no! Oh, no! Wait! It's going!

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Wait! Wait for me!

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Oh, no! Wait for me! Hold on!

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Oh, no!

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Wait! Wait!

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Gail Force there. Gail, what shoes were you wearing at the station?

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Were they, um, platforms? Hehe!

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Platforms! Get it! Platforms!

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Oh-ho-ho! Who writes this stuff?

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I don't know. I'm Arthur Sleep.

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Now for more of your giggles!

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-Hey, Justin...

-Hey, have you got a joke?

-Yes.

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What do you give a sick bird?

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I don't know, what do you give a sick bird?

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"Tweetment"!

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-Uggggghh, no!

-Tweetment!

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LAUGHTER

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Coo-ee!

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SPLOOOSH!

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Agghhhh!

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Ughh...

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Doctor Doctor will see you now!

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Next!

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Now, how can I help you?

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Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a pony.

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No, you're just a little "hoarse"!

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Next!

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Hello! Rapids Johnson, here.

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On the trail of the Big Brown Bulgarian Bear.

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Now, I've come to this clearing in a wood.

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It's a favourite spot for people who love picnics. And bears.

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You see, when bears run out of food in the wild,

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they look around for these clearings for scraps and... Ah-ha!

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Like this one. An old apple core.

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That means a bear should be along very soon! Hoho!

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Well, I'm feeling a little bit peckish myself...

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I'll just go over there and see if I can get a cup of tea.

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Keep them peeled!

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Howay, bairns! Keith Fit here,

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showing you some more dribbling skills with a football.

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I've been dribbling for over 20 years so I know what I'm talking about.

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OK. Watch and learn, bairns.

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Howay!

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Ho-ho!

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Ah, and that's how you dribble with a football.

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Heh!

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Who left the glue here, man?

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BOING! BOING! BOING!

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WHEEEEE!

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..Champion!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN Arrivederci

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Subtitles by Evie Morrish, Red Bee Media Ltd

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E-mail [email protected]

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Singing waiter Opera Oliver plays gooseberry between two romantic diners, while Simon Pieman rolls onto the court to deliver a delicious cream-filled pie to a tennis umpire. King Flannel tries to help the butler to wash the royal motor, and news hound Gail Force is at Little Bottom station with a world transport exclusive.

There are also quick-fire giggles from Doctor Doctor. Including the Gigglekids, children from all round the country who tell Justin their favourite jokes.


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