Episode 9 Gigglebiz

It's Gigglebiz!

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

Ho-ho!

On today's Gigglebiz...

Rapids Johnson, Dina Lady,

The Burrito Brothers,

Rod and Annette.

And here's Professor Muddles!

Ooh, nearly. Ooh.

Oh-ho-ho! Nearly had you!

Ooh! Oh, dear.

Popped.

Oh, dear. This is very tricky.

Hello there. I'm Professor Bubbles. Er, I mean Muddles.

Today, we're going to find out how much a bubble weighs.

First of all, we need a wubble to beigh. I mean, a bubble to weigh.

Right, just give me a minute.

Tricky to catch - they keep popping! Never mind.

All good scientists have a plan B, and here is mine.

I'm going to take this can of extra-fizzy drink... Mmm!

Then I'll trap all of the wubbly bubbles. Er, I mean, lovely bubbles,

into my timmy. Er, I mean, tummy,

and weigh myself on here.

Then I shall calculate the answer.

Here goes. Oh! Now don't forget - don't try this at home.

I am a trained scientist.

Oh, dear. It's very fizzy. Pop my straw in.

SLURPING

Ah!

There. Hic! Oh, excuse me!

Oooh! Hic!

I think I've - hic! - swallowed too many - hic! - bubbles! Oh, dear!

I'm Professor Bubbles. Whoa! I mean Muddles. Whoa! Goodbye!

Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here, doing a spot of golf.

Now, sometimes your ball ends up in a bunker.

A bunker is a big hole in the ground, filled with sand.

But no worries. I've been getting out of bunkers for...20 year, Tone?

20 year.

We'll need a special club, called a sand wedge.

Tone, pass us a sand wedge, mate.

Here it comes now. Beautiful. Right, you take... No, man!

Oh, Tone! Not a sandwich! A sand wedge!

Oh, Tone!

Always playing jokes on me when I'm trying to play golf!

Cheers, Tone. I don't know.

All right. Watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

You give your ball a big whack

and it'll go out the sand. OK. Here we go.

Ha'way!

And that's how you get out of a bunker. Champion!

Doctor Doctor will see you now!

Next!

Now, what seems to be the problem?

Doctor Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.

I'll DEAL with you later!

Next!

Oh, hello. How nice to meet you. Sit yourself down. Have a little rest.

I mean, I've GOT to sit here, of course, while he fishes.

Ho!

Hee-hee. Sweet.

I don't know why he bothers - he never catches anything.

Nothing at all. And today, he says he'll catch a really big fish.

Imagine that - a really big fish. I mean, he never catches anything!

Nothing at all.

SHE LAUGHS

I shouldn't laugh, really.

It keeps him happy. At the end of the day, that's what it's about.

He's out in the open, the fresh air. Not getting into trouble or mischief.

I get a bit of peace and quiet, time to myself.

Oh, you know what we need? A nice cup of tea.

Warming inside.

I mean, catch a big fish! He never catches anything!

Do you, love?

Bless!

Mm!

So Delia said, "Can I have your mince pie recipe, Dina?"

I said, "You get back in the queue and wait with everyone else."

I don't know. Oh, hello there, my little wind chimes.

Welcome to Dinner Time with me, Dina Lady.

This is my assistant, Tommy Tummy.

Say hello, Tommy.

Hello, Tommy.

Today we're making one of MY favourite recipes.

-Choux buns.

-Yay!

All right, Tommy. Rein it in.

I've laid out some fresh pastry, and we've got some whipped cream.

Take the cream. Oh...oopsie!

I've forgotten the most important part! Back in a mo.

-Who's my little tiger?

-Me.

Now, some pastry is thick and flat,

but this is a special type of puffy pastry, known as choux.

It's a French word. That's why we call them choux buns.

Nothing to do with the shoes on your feet!

What are you chuntering on about?

-I was telling the viewers about choux pastry.

-What? Oh, no, no, no.

Nice boy. Daft, though.

Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.

-Take your pastry and place your shoe on top.

-Dina, you're not...

You are, aren't you?

And then, place some lovely whipped cream in your shoe!

I like quite a lot of whipped cream, I do. There we are.

Don't try this at home!

Then roll the pastry around the shoe, like so,

and finish it off with a tiny bit of chocolate sauce.

There. Delicious!

One shoe bun!

Easy as pie.

See you next time, my little crinkle-cut chips!

Now, if you're on a diet, use a flip-flop.

But if you're hungry, use a wader.

Now it's time for your giggles.

What has keys but can't open locks?

Oh, I don't know. What keys can't open locks?

The keys on the piano.

Oh, no! Piano keys, of course! Good one.

Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here.

Back in the bunker, but neh worries,

because my motto is, if at first you don't succeed,

give it a good whack. Isn't that right, Tony?

He knows. He's been playing golf for 20 year.

Right, watch and learn. Watch and learn.

What? Eh? Neh bother.

Champion! And that's how you play golf.

APPLAUSE

ALL: Hey!

HE COUGHS

HE COUGHS

HE COUGHS

ALL: Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

APPLAUSE

Now then, let's see what we have in here, shall we?

Oh, I say! Now this is truly beautiful.

Do you know what it is?

-Yeah, it's a carpet.

-That's right, it's a carpet.

But do you know where it's from?

Not really, but I know where it's going.

Well, let me tell you. It's a Turkish banqueting carpet.

It's in wonderful condition.

Let's have a feel of how... Oh, I say! It's very soft.

Oh, yes, and such a beautiful colour. It's lovely.

I think I'll have a little lie down. Lovely! Very comfortable.

Please yourself. It's not mine.

Now, this rug was probably made... Oh, I say! What's going on?

Erm, yes... Well, I'm... quite literally moving on!

Doctor Doctor will see you now.

Next!

-Now, what seems to be the problem?

-Doctor Doctor, I think I'm a snail.

Don't worry, we'll soon have you out of your shell. Ha!

Next!

Hello, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

Oh, thank you very much, Doreen. This just in.

Oh, dear. Oh, right.

Oh, dear me.

Right. I'll have the jacket potato with chips, beans, salad

and some anchovies on the top. Thanks, Doreen.

Now we go over to Gail Force for our special report. Gail.

Don't forget to grate the cheese, Doreen. She always forgets.

Oh, my! Yes, hello, Arthur.

Well, today, I'm here in a sports field and as you can see

behind me, there are some boxers.

Oh!

I meant BOXERS not BOXES.

Back to the studio, Arthur.

Thanks there, Gail. That report certainly packed a punch.

Ha-ha! Packed a punch - get it? They're boxers, aren't they?

I'm wasted here. I should be at The Palladium. Now this.

Hello. I'm Johnson Rapids. I mean, Rapids Johnson. Ha-ha!

Still searching for the giant panda. As we know, these animals

are very shy, so I thought I'd try out my new panda call.

Ha-ha! See if it works. Ready? Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Ugh, ugh, ugh!

Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, oh, ah, ah, ah!

Let's see if it's worked. Oh, nothing!

Let's try again, shall we? Practise makes perfect. Ready?

Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, ah, eh!

Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!

That might have worked.

Oh, blast! Nothing again. Never mind, I will find that giant panda,

or my name's not, er... Rapids Johnson. Keep 'em peeled.

Ga-hee-ah! Ga-hee-ah! Oh, oh, oh!

Now for more of your giggles.

-Hey, Justin.

-Hey, Alisa. Have you got a joke?

-Yes.

-Great, what is it?

What's a mouse's favourite game?

I don't know, what is a mouse's favourite game?

Hide and squeak.

Hey! Hide and squeak!

Ha'way, bairns. Keith Fit here, back on the golf course.

Now, last time, I showed you how to whack the ball with a club,

but it was the wrong club. So I'm getting help from my caddy, Tony.

Tony's been my caddy for 20 year, isn't that right, Tone?

A caddy helps you to pick the right club for the job.

OK, Tone, can I have a driver, please?

A driver is a big club.

Oh, beautiful! Look at that beast.

OK. Now we're going to whack the ball as hard as we can.

Stand back, Tone.

Watch and learn, bairns, watch and learn. OK.

Away!

It's all right, don't... I'm all right. Oh!

And that's how you play golf. Champion!

Oh, Tone, my back...

Hello, I'm Rapids Johnson and I'm here at the beach.

I don't know why, because there's no chance of seeing a giant panda.

Thank you. So I've decided to go home.

Ah! Keep 'em peeled.

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go

# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

# Farewell, T-T-F-N Arrivederci

# We all hate to say goodbye But we'll be back again

# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

# Na, na, na, na Ho-ho-ho

# Na, na, na, na, na, na Gigglebiz

# Na, na, na, It's time to go

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go. #

E-mail [email protected]