Episode 3 Gigglebiz


Episode 3

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Prehistoric cave dwellers Ug and Ig have all sorts of mishaps when Ug builds a robot out of rock.


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Transcript


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# Na-na-na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na-na-na ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na-na-na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na here we go!

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# ..ho-ho. #

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Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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DIY Dan.

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Ug and Ig.

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Will Barrow.

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Ann Teak.

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But now it's time for Rapids Johnson...

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BIRDS CHEEPING

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Hi there, Rapids...

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Rapids Johnson here,

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and I'm in one of the remotest places on Earth,

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just outside Stevenage, and we're in search of bears. Huh...

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Now, we've got to be clever,

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cos we're never going to find a bear out here exposed in the open.

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So, we have to be cunning and build a hideout to er...

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..er, hide in. Ha-ha. Let's go to work.

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Right, I've just, ugh... there we are, ha-ha, right.

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Now, I'm going to use these twigs and branches

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to build my hideout, because, let's face it, we're not going to find

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planks of wood lying around here in the forest, are we?!

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BEARS WHISTLE

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And it won't take me any time to build the hideout,

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because I have survival skills. I always...oh...

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ha-ha, excuse me a second, I'll just organise myself here,

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oh, yes, thank you, very kind.

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Now, I'll find those bears, or my name's not Rapids...er...

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-Johnson.

-Johnson. Keep 'em peeled. Right...

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Today, we're going to be making a handy clothes rack.

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It's always useful to have somewhere to hang all your stylish

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and fashionable clothes.

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First, we need to attach the upright parts to the clothes rail.

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Sometimes you might need a second attempt.

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CRASH AND CLATTER

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And if you're having problems, why not try

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putting it together on the workbench?

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And remember, always hold your tools firmly.

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CLATTER

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So, all you need to do now is assemble the rest of the pieces.

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And, if you've followed the plans carefully, you should now

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have an elegant clothes rack.

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Perfect for hanging all your clothes up.

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CRASH AND CLATTER

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Job done.

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It's silly time!

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SILLY MUSIC

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This is the home of Ug and Ig, where almost everything

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is made of rock.

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Hu-huh-ugh hi! Ha-ha, oh...

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-Wha's that?

-Do you like Ig's robot, Ugg?

-Oh, yeah!

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Do you think you can make a better one?

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Oh-huh-oh, yeah. Ha-ha-ha.

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And a bigger one?

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Oh, yeah!

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Eee-hee.

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Oh-ho-ha.

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Ahh!

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Ah...

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what...

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-That is a big robot.

-Yeah.

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Do you need a remote control to make it work?

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Well...yeah.

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I made one here!

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Ha-ha, hee...

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Eeegh!

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Oh, oh!

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Ig, will you help me? Oh...

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Oh, ah...you got to be...

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Oh, ah, he strong. Ha-ha.

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Yup.

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-Oh, dear.

-Ahh...

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Oh, right...

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Ugh...

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Hold on...

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All right. Huh...

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His head fall off.

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That doesn't seem to have worked, Ug.

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He's my best friend, my mate. He was...!

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What...?

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Oh?

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He...what? For me?

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Oh, Ig!

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Ha-ha. For me.

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Here. Oh...

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Ah, thanks, Ig.

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Well done, Ug. Well done, Ig.

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There, now you've both got robots to play with.

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Ig.

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Just one final adjustment.

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That should do it, good.

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Oh! Hello there! Rapids Johnson here in the woods looking for bears.

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Now, I've built this hideout. Isn't it fantastic?

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Now, I'm going to stand inside - the bears won't be able to see me,

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but I can see the bears! Hurrah!

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But I hear you cry, "Where's the front door?"

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It hasn't got one, because, frankly...

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BEARS WHISTLE

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..where are you going to find a door in the woods?

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You're not! This type of hideout is pretty much the only thing

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you can build in the woods with your bare hands.

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Unless you have some serious tools hanging around,

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and that's not going to happen, frankly!

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Check back later, and I'll tell you if I've seen some bears.

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CHAIN SAW WHIRRS

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I'll find them, or my name's not Rapids...er...

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-Johnson.

-..Johnson! Keep 'em peeled.

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SAWING IN BACKGROUND

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Ah...

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Ah!

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-HE CLEARS THROAT

-Knock, knock.

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-Who's there?

-Isabel.

-Isabel who?

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Is a bell needed on a bike?

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Ha-ha-ha!

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GIGGLING

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MUSIC: "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"

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Hello, Farmer Dung.

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-Oh, hello there.

-You look very busy. What are you up to today?

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Yeah, we're all busy on the farm today, yeah.

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Reg is busy, aren't you, Reg?

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-We're countin' peas.

-Counting peas? That will take a long time.

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Yeah. Reg, how are you getting on? What have you done?

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Five! Well done, you!

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PHONE RINGS

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Is that your phone? Get your phone, Reg.

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What? Me?! I've just sat down! All right, I'll go and get it.

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-CLATTER

-Hello...?

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-PHONE CHATTER

-Hello, John, Dung here.

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Yeah, how you getting on?

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-'How's Reggie?'

-Yeah, Reggie's countin' peas.

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-He says hello.

-'Got a new tractor.'

-Got a new tractor?

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-What colour is it, then?

-'Red.'

-Oh, a red one? A red tractor...

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What's going on here? Look at all these.

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Ha, all right, John.

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What...me? Hay? I'll give you some hay, we've got a few bales

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of hay there, that'll be fine!

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-Right, John, see you later.

-'Wait, wait...!'

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He wants some hay... Look! I got twisted up!

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Reg, what happened to that? Ah-ha!

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The old peas are everywhere! John, he's laughin', he's laughin'!

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-JOHN LAUGHS

-How many you count there, Reg?

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One? Well, we'll have pea soup then. Want some pea soup, John?

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-He's comin' round.

-'See you later.'

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One!

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Yes, hello, I'd like to apply for the job of newsreader for the national...

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Oh, ah-hem.

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Erm, hello, I'm Arthur Sleep, with some breaking news for you.

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A leopard has escaped from the zoo! Oh-ho.

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And is walking through the town centre.

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On being asked what the people should do, a police officer replied,

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"Don't panic, just let us know if you spot it, ha-ha!

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If you SPOT it, Doreen, did you get that?

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Oh, hello! Shh. Hello. Rapids Johnson here, ha-ha.

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You probably didn't spot me - I was in my trusty hideout looking out

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for bears. You see, I can hide in here, they can't see me,

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but I can see them, ha-ha! Genius!

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Hmm, no sign yet. This may take some time.

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I'm OK, I've got my hideout to sit in, but the poor old bears,

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they're probably freezing in a cave somewhere, who knows?

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I'm going to have a nice cup of tea. "How?" I hear you cry,

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"There are no teapots in the woods!" Well, I'm going to use my boot.

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Have a nice cup of boot tea, excuse me.

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BEARS HUM HAPPILY

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Ho-ho-ho, lovely! Piping hot! Mmm, yummy.

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HE COUGHS AND SPLUTTERS

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It needs some sugar, I think. Er, just the one, thank you very much.

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Well, this is Rapids Johnson, having a nice cup of boot tea,

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waiting for the bears.

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HE SLURPS AND COUGHS Keep 'em peeled.

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MOLE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS

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MOLE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS

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MOLE LAUGHS AND WHOOPS

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MOLES LAUGH AND WHOOP

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And now it's time for your giggles!

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Why do witches wear name badges?

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ALL: I don't know.

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So we know which witch is which!

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LAUGHTER

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Has anyone seen my cup of tea and choccie biccies?

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I've been waiting here for 30 seconds.

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Who's next? Whoa! Oh, you're here already.

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Hello, I hope you have something of interest for me, Mr...

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Handley, and I do have something very interesting

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-and possibly quite valuable.

-Well! Let's not get excited.

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I'll be the judge of that! What have we got here?

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This is a letter signed by none other than King Henry VIII.

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Oh, how intriguing. May I?

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-Er...OK.

-Ho-ho, right. Let's see what we have, shall we?

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There we are... Well, look at this.

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Now, this is a very old piece of paper.

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Or, as we call it, "pyarchment." Now, people in the olden days used to

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write on it, but I can see, Mr Heatpack, a little bit of damage

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here and here

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and little bit of damage up there, as well.

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-Oh, but you...!

-Yes, are the expert. Oh, thank you, Dave.

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Excuse me, I'm absolutely famished. Mmm-hu-hmm.

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I must have another biscuit and some tea.

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Oh, no, there's a bit of biscuit in there.

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-Oh!

-Oh, dearie me. Butterfingers!

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Don't worry, Mr Handstand, it's only tea.

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I'll just give it a good shake. There...

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Blow it out a bit, you know. SHE BLOWS HARD

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-Oh!

-Oh!

-Oh, I say, seems to have ripped in half.

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Well, never mind, I'm sure you'll be able to glue it back,

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there we are! Has anyone seen another cup of tea for me?

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Well, to conclude, I absolutely think it's worthless.

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-It's worthless now.

-I'm glad that we agree, Mr Handstand. Ha-ha.

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Off you go, go on. HIGH VOICE: Next!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz, ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Giggle it's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta, bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na-na-na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na-na-na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na-na it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz

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# We've had a lot of fun Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Giggle it's time to go!

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# ..ho-ho. #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Rapids Johnson builds a hideout to try and spot those elusive bears, accident-prone DIY enthusiast DIY Dan attempts to construct a clothes rack, prehistoric cave dwellers Ug and Ig have all sorts of mishaps when Ug builds a robot out of rock, newsreader Arthur Sleep tells some pun-tastic jokes, Farmer Dung and his friend Reggie count peas on the farm, Will Barrow has problems with a mischievous mole in his garden and Ann Teak accidentally destroys a precious ancient letter.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes, and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock-knock jokes. Finally there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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