Episode 4 Gigglebiz


Episode 4

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Keith Fitt demonstrates how to play croquet, and Dan Step tap dances his way into some chair trouble.


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Transcript


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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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-Ho-ho!

-Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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Captain Adorable,

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Storybook Stan,

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Keith Fit,

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The Burrito Brothers,

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but, first, here's Professor Muddles.

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Oh! Ha, ha! Hello there.

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I am a hairdresser.

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Eh, no! A trouser presser.

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No, I mean, I'm Professor Muddles. Ha, ha!

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And welcome to my laboratory.

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Now, today I'll try to answer another very important scientific question.

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Why does tickling make us laugh? Well, it's simple. I go...

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Oh, ho, ho! Oh, dear! It's started already. Easy! Ha, ha!

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To answer this question, I've invented this machine. Ta-da!

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I call it the Tuper Sickler.

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I mean, ugh, the Super Tickler.

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Now, I'm just going to turn it on by using this

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very special remote control. On it goes.

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There we are. Now, I shall move the Super Tickler

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towards me using this lever here.

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That's it. Here it comes. Ha, ha!

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A little bit closer, I think.

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There we are. Now and...oh, ho, ho!

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As you can see...! Oh, ho, ho!

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The Super Tickler has started to tickle me! Oh, ho, ho, ho!

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Hee, hee, hee! I think that's enough! Ha, ha!

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I'll just move it away!

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Yah! Ooh! Ho, ho!

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And turn the machine off. Oh!

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My, my, my!

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Well, as you can see, viewers,

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the Super Tickler works extremely "bell".

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Ugh, I mean, smell. Ugh, I mean, well.

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Hey, what's going on?

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Hang on. I didn't turn the machine back on! Oh, no!

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My controller isn't working! The Super Tickler is out of control!

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Oh, it's coming towards me! Oh, ha, ha!

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HE LAUGHS

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HE WIBBLES

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh, no! I'm being tickled!

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Oh, I can't take it anymore!

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Luckily, I've put in an emergency stop!

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HE LAUGHS

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Oh!

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Hoo, hoo! Oh, my, my! Oh, thank goodness for that.

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Well, ahem. What have we learnt today?

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Well, I've learnt that I'm extremely rubbish. Ugh! I mean, a starfish!

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Ugh! I mean, very ticklish. Woo! Oh, no!

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The machine's on again!

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I'm Professor Muddles! Goodbye! It's alive! Woo!

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And now it's time for Your Giggles.

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What's a shark's favourite snack?

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I don't know.

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Fish and ships!

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THEY LAUGH

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Put on your spacesuit and gravity boots. It's Captain Adorable!

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Captain Adorable in Space!

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Asteroids, QT, seat belts on.

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Greetings, crew!

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Ha, ha! I...

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What's going on? Oof...!

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Yah! Hai-ya! Hai-ya! Yah!

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Ha, ha! See that?

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Captain Adorable is NEVER defeated!

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Situation report, Bottom.

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-It's Bothom, Captain.

-I understand.

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Suffering solar systems! What is THAT?!

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Asteroids, Captain, large pieces of rock and gas

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that hurtle through space. It's best if we don't crash into one.

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Hmm. And that is exactly why you need a superhero at the helm.

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I rather think QT is doing a fine job.

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-Oh, look! There's another!

-CRASHING

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Perhaps the Captain should put his seat belt on.

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Oh, Bottom! Superheroes don't need seat belts!

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CRASHING

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HE SCREAMS THUMPS

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Ooh! Ugh!

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It's OK. We...AHHH!

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-Wah!

-THUMPS

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Wah!

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Oh, I feel a bit wobbly, Bottom.

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Oh, panic over, everyone! Calm down!

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QT, I'm here to save the day. Pass the controls over. Ha, ha!

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I...oh... It doesn't seem to be working. Put some...

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Batteries on the Christmas list?

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Captain, I believe when you've got the controls upside down,

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the ship goes upside down.

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Oh!

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-May I suggest QT takes the controls?

-Very well!

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Captain?

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I'm up here!

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Whoa! Oof!

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Welcome back, Captain. We appear to have got past the asteroids.

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Ha, ha! Good, good. Another day saved, eh?

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But, please, don't thank me, Bottom. It's what I do. Ha, ha!

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And remember, kids, superheroes always wear their seat belts.

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Ha, ha! WAH!

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This is the Captain. All is well.

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Now, is this the one I was...? Ah, yes, there it is. Oh, lovely.

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Oh, hello, bookworms! Good to see you. Ha, ha!

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Just in time again for a wonderful story with me,

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Storybook Stan.

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Now, I'll be reading a very special book today.

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It's called The Russian Doll. You're going to love it! OK.

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Sitting comfortably? Course you are. All right, let's start.

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Now, once upon a time, there...

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Hang on a minute! What's this? Look, bookworms,

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there's another book inside! I don't believe it!

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Let's start again. Once upon a time...

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No, not again. Yes, again! There's another book! Ho, ho!

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This is funny, isn't it? Once upon a time...

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No! It's happened again! I don't believe this!

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Oh, we're never going to get this one going! Once upon a...

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Oh! Look, bookworms, it's tiny! I can't read this!

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I need my magnifying glass. Won't be a minute. OK, right...

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Now, once upon a... Where's it gone?

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I dropped it. No, don't go!

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Wait, the Russian dolls, I... Bookworms, bye!

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It's silly time!

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MUSIC PLAYS

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999...1,000. Ha, ha! Well done, Keith!

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Whoa! How are you, beings? Keith Fit here.

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Today, I'm going to show you how to play croquet.

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Now, I've been playing croquet for over 20 years,

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so I know how to play, but Mrs Peverill is a beginner.

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She's going to tell us how to play.

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Well, to start with, you need a ball and a mallet.

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I've already got the mullet, love!

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-No, a mallet, Keith.

-Oh, right, a mallet. Two seconds...

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Right, Mrs Peverill. I've got me ball and me mallet. Right, what's next?

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Ha! I think you've got that a bit wrong.

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No, I'm the professional. Right, how do you play now?

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Well, it's quite simple, Keith.

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You hit the ball through the hoop with your mallet.

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Oh, ho, ho! Look at that! Beginner's luck, Mrs P! Now, it's my go.

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OK, let's show you really how to do it. Put your ball down there...

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and keep your eye on the hoop. OK. Here we go.

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Big hit and you're away. AWAY WITH YOU!

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Whoa!

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Great game, eh, Mrs Peverill? It doesn't last long though.

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No, not the way you play it.

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LAUGHING: Fancy another one?

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Champion!

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APPLAUSE

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MUSIC PLAYS

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HE WHISTLES

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AUDIENCE LAUGHS

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APPLAUSE

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HE MOUTHS: Very good.

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CRASHING BEHIND CURTAIN

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APPLAUSE

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Ahem! Hello there, I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

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Police are currently searching for a burger. Oh, ahem! My mistake.

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A burglar who stole a lorry load of cement.

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If you see him, don't get too close, he's apparently a hardened criminal.

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HE LAUGHS

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A hardened criminal! Did you hear that, Doreen?

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Come on, Doreen, laugh a little!

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Gail, what have you got for us?

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Thank you, Arthur. Yes, hello, I'm Gail Force,

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and I'm here at this amazing new sculpture

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with the creator himself, Donald.

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-Hello, Donald.

-Hello.

-Hi!

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Tell me about this amazing piece of art.

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-FLY BUZZES

-Well, I've been working on it

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for five years and it's called Spirit Of The Garden...

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-FLY BUZZES

-Ow!

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Oh, sorry, you had a fly on your belly. There you go, it's gone now.

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-Carry on, David.

-It's Donald. Um, as I was saying...

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-FLY BUZZES

-It's called Spirit Of The Garden.

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Oh, it's back again. Oh, oh!

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-It's a series of three sculptures...

-Oh, oh! Fly, begone!

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-I think it's gone now. Carry on, Duncan.

-It's Donald.

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-FLY BUZZES

-As I said, it's a series of three

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-sculptures...

-Shh! Hold that thought.

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-I think it's on my nose.

-Can I help?

-No, it's OK.

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Ahh! Eee! Ah!

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Ah! Ah! I've got it!

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Well, um...look forward, we're on cam.

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Back to the studio, Arthur. Um, is this a piece of it?

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Mmm. Mmm. Heh, heh.

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CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

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BOTH: Hey! APPLAUSE

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Hmm?

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BOTH: Hey!

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THEY LAUGH

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What, eh?

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What? You? You in the ring!

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Hey, hey!

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ALL: Hey! APPLAUSE

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Huh? Hey!

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HE STRAINS

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HE STRAINS

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Oh, no!

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HE STRAINS

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Oh! Oh!

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HE STRAINS

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Oh! Oh!

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Ah!

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APPLAUSE

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Hey! Ha, ha!

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Ah, OK! Ha, ha, yeah!

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Huh! Yeah!

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HE STRAINS

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BOTH: Oh, oh, ho!

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Yah!

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HE STRAINS

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BOTH: Whoa! Oh! Oh!

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HE GRUNTS AND GROANS

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Ah! Ha, ha!

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APPLAUSE

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Hey!

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HE BLOWS ON HANDS

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THEY STRAIN

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Oh, whoa!

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HIS KNEES CHATTER

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Whoa!

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Uh...

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CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS

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HE STRAINS

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Hey!

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-Hey!

-Hey!

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SCATTERED APPLAUSE

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

0:14:080:14:11

Professor Muddles builds a tickle machine, Captain Adorable hurtles through space with his intrepid crew, trying and failing to dodge asteroids, Storybook Stan unsuccessfully attempts to read a story about a Russian doll, Keith Fitt demonstrates how to play croquet, Dan Step tap dances his way into some chair trouble, there are more groan-inducing jokes from Arthur Sleep, location reporter Gail Force causes chaos in a garden, and the Berrito Brothers - a troupe of acrobats who have fallen on hard times - show off their metal-bending skills.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes. Finally there's some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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