Episode 5 Gigglebiz


Episode 5

Comedy sketch show for younger viewers. Professor Muddles causes chaos with a super-strength magnet and Farmer Dung suffers from a fit of the sneezes.


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Transcript


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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Here we go! #

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-Ho-ho!

-Coming up on Gigglebiz...

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Sue Keeper!

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Will Barrow!

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Farmer Dung!

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Nana Knickerbocker!

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And here's Will Singalot!

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# I am good Robin's minstrel

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# And I always sing a song

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# I try to put good Robin right

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# But he always gets it wrong... #

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Quiet!

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I need to impress Maid Marian - so no singing.

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Got that?

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# Go-o-o-ot that. #

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Fair Maid Marian, Little John has made a wager with me

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that I cannot cross this slippery log.

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What do you think?

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And if I succeed, might my reward be a little kiss? Hm?

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I suppose so.

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Then let the challenge begin!

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And no singing.

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Right...need to concentrate here.

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# Can Robin walk across this log

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# To steal a fair maid's kiss?

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# And win the wager that was struck

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# What will become of this? #

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QUIET!

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# Or will he mess it up again

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# As he often seems to do?

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# And end up in the muddy bog

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# Covered all in goo?

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# In goo, in goo, in goo, in goo...

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# Covered all in goo! #

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Would you stop that?

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How am I supposed to do all this with you singing all the time?

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ROBIN SIGHS

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Right. Here we go.

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I can do it.

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I can do it...

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# "I can do it", said bold Robin

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# As the maid looked on agog

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# "It's so easy", thought our Robin

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# Just like falling off a log.

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# The log, the log, the wobbly log

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# Along the knobbly log... #

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No. No, stop it!

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# He'll end up in the muddy bog if he falls off the log... #

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You're putting me off!

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# The log, the log, the wobbly log

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# Along the knobbly log... #

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Be quiet!

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# He'll end up in the muddy bog if he falls off the... #

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-Argh!

-SQUELCH!

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# When he falls off the log! #

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I knew it. It's always the same. Why do I bother?

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Marian! No...wait...

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# The log, the log, the wobbly log

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# Along the knobbly log.

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# He'll end up in the muddy bog

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# When he falls off the log! #

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That minstrel's got to go!

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And now, this.

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-Hi!

-Hi! Knock knock.

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Who's there?

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-May.

-May who?

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Maybe I'll tell you, maybe I won't!

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-THEY LAUGH

-Bye!

-Bye.

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Gather around, wildlife lovers - that's it.

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We've got a real treat for you now.

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Here is the king of the jungle, the rhinoceros, or rhino -

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write that down.

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-It's not very big.

-No - this is a... A miniature rhino.

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That's not a rhino. That's a guinea pig.

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Ah, well, easy mistake to make, but that is, in fact, a rhino.

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-Are they supposed to be that hairy?

-Yes. They're very hairy.

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Like you.

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That's a guinea pig.

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LAUGHING: Well... In fact, you're partly right.

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It's got a bit of guinea pig in it, but it's mostly rhino.

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Rhinos have horns.

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Yes, they do. But sadly, this one has lost its horn.

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So, um...wildlife lovers, let's get on our hands and knees

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and search around for the horn.

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It should be quite small - the size of a tooth. Quite...spiky.

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Ridiculous...

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No - RHINOCEROS. Yeah.

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I love my job - oh, I found it!

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Oh, no. It's my foot.

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CHUCKLING

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FOX CHUCKLES

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Hello there. I'm Arthur Sleep, and here's the news.

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Doreen, something feels different today.

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Is there something I forgot to do this morning?

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Hang on a minute. What, Doreen? Speak up, I can't hear you!

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What are you talking about?

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I've still got my pyjama bottoms on and my snugly bunny slippers?

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Oh! Oh, no!

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Doreen, you're right! Oh, I can't show the nation this!

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Let's get on with it...

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And now it's time for your giggles.

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-Why are dragons bad at being bosses?

-I don't know.

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Because they always FIRE people.

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh! Ah-ha! Hello there.

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I'm Professor Mumbles.

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Uh, I mean Merdles.

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Uh, I mean Muddles.

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Now, for many years,

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science has been trying to answer one very important question.

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How do we find cuddly lost toys?

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Well, my latest invention will do just that - ha-ha!

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Behold, the Marty... Uh, I mean Merty... Uh, I mean Murky...

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Oy! I mean, Mighty Mega Magnet.

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Ha-ha-ha!

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Yes - now, I'm just going to pop this on my head, like so.

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Right, let's power it up, shall we?

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There we are, I think that's on.

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Let's give it a little toddy. Uh, I mean tiddly.

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I mean TEDDY test.

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There's a teddy bear here.

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Right, if I lean towards the teddy bear,

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you can see it's starting to move towards me - ha-ha!

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Closer... Closer...

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And suddenly, we should have...

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Hey! Ah-ha-ha! Success!

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Hang on a minute...

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Oh-ho-ho! Well done. You stay there, little fella.

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Now that was mag...

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Eh! Argh!

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MUFFLED: Hang on a minute...

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Oh! As you can see, this works very well indeed.

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Hey! Oi! Ah-ha!

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Yes - a bit too well, it seems.

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Oh, dearie me. Right. Let's pop you down there.

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I think I should turn this magnet off.

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Let me get the button - hang on a minute. Oi!

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Well, I do seem to have found most of my lost cuddly toys.

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All except one, of course. Poor old Bobo. Where's Bobo?

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Aie! Oof!

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Bobo!

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Ooh! Well, I think that was successful.

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That's all from me, Professor Muddles.

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Goodbye!

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Oh, Bobo, give me a hug. Oh, no...aie!

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I'm OK.

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News just in. It's Silly Time!

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SILLY MUSIC PLAYS

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MUSIC: "Old MacDonald Had A Farm"

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FARMER DUNG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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REG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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FARMER DUNG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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-Hello, Farmer Dung!

-Oh, hello.

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Oh, Reg, I'm going to go again. Here we go. Ah... Ah...

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FARMER DUNG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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Oh, dear. Sounds like you two have a touch of hay fever.

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Yeah. We've got hay fever, haven't we, Reg?

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We can't stop - oh, here we go...

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FARMER DUNG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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..blowing our nose.

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Eh? Oh, Reg! He... He fell off the gate!

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-You all right, Reg?

-FARMER DUNG LAUGHS

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Oh, Reg - I blew my nose, he fell off the gate! Ah-ha!

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You all right, Reg? There we are.

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Oh, dear. Sorry about that - oh, no, here we go...

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FARMER DUNG BLOWS HIS NOSE

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Oh! Oh, sorry about that - oh, he's gone again!

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-He's gone again!

-FARMER DUNG LAUGHS

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Reg! Oh-ho-ho, my word!

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Oh, Reg, you all right? There we are.

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Oh, I tell you what...

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-FARMER DUNG CHUCKLES

-Eh, Reg? Oh, no! Reg!

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FARMER DUNG LAUGHS

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Reg, I fell off the gate there!

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You then blew your nose, I fell off the gate!

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THEY LAUGH

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Oh! He's just fallen off! Ah-ha!

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Oh, I don't know - I fell off the gate

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and then old Reg fell off the gate!

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Oh, we both did! Ha-ha!

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I don't know, Reg - my word, what are we like?

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That was funny.

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Now it's time for the sport. I can tell you're excited, Doreen.

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You're blushing like an overripe strawberry.

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Right, Keith, what have you got?

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Right - I'm going to lift this ordinary plastic chair today.

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So watch and learn, bairns - watch and learn.

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Don't try this at home.

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I've been lifting chairs for over 20 years,

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so I know how to lift.

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OK - it's important you get the right position.

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Come on, let's have ye!

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Whoa!

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Well, surprisingly enough, some chairs are a bit heavy.

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So let's try something else, shall we?

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Let's start with something here -

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I know it's a bit light, but never mind.

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This little globe. All right, here we go.

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Bend and then you lift, OK? Here we go...

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Hurgh...!

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-Oh - are you all right, Keith lad?

-Aye...I'm...all right, Arthur.

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Just give me a minute...yeah...!

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And that's how you...argh...!

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Ooh!

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KEITH PANTS

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Champion. Oh...

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Oof!

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And now, Nana Knickerbocker in today's panto - Aladdin!

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# La-la-la, la-la-la-la-LA! #

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Oh-ho-ho! Oh, I wonder where I am?

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It looks like an Aladdin's cave in here.

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Oh! And look, everyone - it's Aladdin.

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-APPLAUSE

-Moping around, as usual.

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Come on, Aladdin - tell Nana everything.

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It's fine. I just wish I had more customers.

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I think it's quite a good house. Let's get on with it.

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You need to find your magic lamp, you know, to make a wish.

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-Have you got one?

-Sorry, what?

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A magic lamp - you know, to make a wish.

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-We do actually have an old lamp.

-Ooh!

-It's behind you.

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Oh, doing a set piece already - good idea.

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-You what?

-It's behind you.

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-You what?

-MORE LOUDLY:

-It's behind you.

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Right - I think we've got 'em.

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Oh, I say! So it is.

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Here's the magic lamp. I say - it's a bit small, isn't it?

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We'll have to talk to the props department.

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Let's get on with it - give it a rub.

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-Genie'll appear, we'll live happily ever after. Off you go.

-Righto.

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-MAN COUGHS

-Oh, hark! What is that I hear?

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Oh, look! Oh, it's the genie.

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And look - we've got some smoke this year.

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-We must have a bigger budget.

-Smoke? That's my coach.

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The engine's packed up and it's full of fed up passengers.

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-Would you mind if I used your phone?

-Of course not.

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-You're more than welcome.

-What's he talking about?

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Must be the understudy. Quick, let's save the show!

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Right - make your wish and everything will be OK.

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-I wish that I had...

-Not to me - the genie!

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I wish that I had more customers!

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Would you mind if my passengers waited here

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-till the mechanic arrives?

-Oh, look! Your wish is his command.

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Here come the customers - you're going to be rich!

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-And you can marry Princess Jasmine.

-Lovely!

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Yes - right, big ending, everyone. 'Scuse me - out the way.

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That's it - hold hands. Smile!

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Thank you - the...

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Take a bow!

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Can you hold the line? I've got to take a bow.

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Dearie me!

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Yes, I love a happy ending!

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Give me that!

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

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# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

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# Farewell, TTFN

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# We all hate to say goodbye

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# But we'll be back again

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na-na Ho-ho-ho

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# Na-na na-na na-na Gigglebiz

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# Na-na na It's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

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# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

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# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

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Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd

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Will Singalot infuriates Robin Hood with his nonstop singing as Robin tries some log-walking to impress Maid Marion, enthusiastic wildlife park guide Sue Keeper gets her guinea pig facts all wrong, and gardener Will Barrow has problems with a very cheeky fox. Newsreader Arthur Sleep tells more pun-tastic jokes, Professor Muddles causes chaos with a super-strength magnet, and Farmer Dung suffers from a fit of the sneezes. Keith Fitt tries and fails to lift some everyday objects, and Nana Knickerbocker visits an antique shop where she thinks she's in the panto Aladdin.

The show also features the Gigglekids - children from all around the country telling their favourite jokes, and Justin joins children onscreen for the best knock-knock jokes. Finally there is some silly dancing fun in silly time!


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