Episode 22 Gigglebiz

# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na, na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na, na-na Here we go! #

Ho-ho!

Coming up on Gigglebiz,

Ann Teak,

Rapids Johnson,

Will Barrow.

But, first, it's The Lost Pirate.

Welcome, Crackers.

We've been on this island for over five years,

and still no sign of me shipmates.

But don't ye worry. I've written this little note.

I'm going to send it to 'em and they're sure to come.

All we need to do is pop this in the bottle and send it.

Now, this be a box for post, apparently.

Hee-hee!

Oh, no! Crackers.

Me bottle doesn't fit! Ooh, hang on a minute.

Look, this must be some kind of messenger. Oh, pop it in here!

It's sure to find its way to me shipmates.

Thank ye, kindly.

Ooh, is that a pirate? Ooh!

Hello, there. I'm Arthur Sleep and here's the news.

Yesterday, I ate a boiled egg for breakfast.

Then I went for a walk, where I saw two starlings, three rabbits,

and a basset hound called Bernard.

Then I went to work, where I read the news.

Hang on a minute - what's going on here? Oh, Doreen!

I brought my diary in by mistake. Sorry about that, viewers.

Well, join me later on, when we find out what I had for supper.

Yesterday.

Oh, careful. Ooh! Got it? All right.

It's worthless, I'm afraid. Next!

-Oh, hello, there. And you are Mr...?

-Kitson.

-Oh.

-What have we got here, today?

-Well, I've got these.

-Oh, I say.

Yes, very nice. Let me have a closer look.

It's all right. There we are. Right.

Now, what we have here is a matching pair of decorative china plates.

-They are identical in every way.

-Actually, they're very different.

One of them is a very rare decorative china plate worth a huge

amount of money, whereas the other is just a cheap plastic copy.

I'll be the judge of that, Mr Kitten. I am the expert, after all.

Now, I can see that one of these is a very rare decorative china plate,

worth a lot of money. And one of these is just, well,

just a fake, I'm afraid. And worthless.

-Yes, but...

-But how can we tell the difference? Good question.

And that is why you have come to see me, the expert. Simple, really.

A plastic plate doesn't break when you drop it,

-so we simply pick one at random, like this one.

-No, no. No!

-And then we drop it.

-Wait!

There we are. See? That's the fake one.

Whereas this one...

Ooh!

This one does indeed break when I drop it.

-So the decorative plate is real!

-You mean WAS real.

Yes, sadly, these incredibly rare china plates

do tend to break when dropped.

But the good news is, Mr Custard, you've still got the fake one.

And that will never break. Enjoy!

Next!

Well, it's time to go over to Keith Fitt, to see what he's

-got in store with the sport. Keith.

-Thanks, Arthur. Appreciate it.

Haway, bairns. Keith Fitt, here.

Today, I'm going to be talking about exercise bikes.

Now, just because you're stuck inside the studio,

like I am, today, doesn't mean you can't keep fit.

An exercise bike is a perfect way. OK, let's get down to business.

Now, first, you need to unpack your bike from its cardboard box.

Now, I've been unpacking boxes for over 20 years,

so I should have this one open in no time at all.

Watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn. OK.

Simply open the rope at the top. The tape should just come off the...

Hang on a minute. Doreen, have you got some scissors? I can't quite...

My nails are quite short. Pull it open here and then...

Open it. I've got it now, bairns, I've just go to... Whoa, bairns!

Well, um, I might need a couple more minutes on that one, bairns.

Champion! Oh...

Sofa looking old and tired?

Cushions not comfy any more?

Don't buy an expensive new sofa.

A DIY expert...

can simply restore the old one.

First, check down the back of the sofa for any lost items.

It's amazing how much can get lost back there.

Re-stuff the old seat cushions with feathers.

That will make your sofa nice and comfy.

Be careful with those feathers.

Next, re-cover your sofa. Any old pieces of fabric will do,

as long as you don't need them any more.

Finally, you'll have a sofa that looks as good as new.

Job done!

Haway, bairns.

Well, back to me exercise bike workout masterclass.

Watch and learn. Watch and learn. Now, step one was to open the box.

Job done. Step two, put the bike together.

Now, I've been assembling exercise bikes for over 20 years,

so I know what I'm talking about. Let's go to work.

What's this? Oh, man! We won't be needing that for a start.

Hey! Sorry, out there. Champion!

And now it's time for your giggles.

-How do you get a baby astronaut to sleep?

-I don't know!

You rock-et.

LAUGHTER

Hello! Rapids Johnson, here. Now, recently, I've gone a bit hi-tech.

I've got myself one of these fellows.

It's called a tablet computer. It's a lovely bit of kit.

The best thing is I've downloaded an app for finding bears. Hurray!

It's called the Find A Bear app. Catchy, eh? Just watch this.

-'Find a bear.'

-Great stuff.

Right, all I have to do is hold the tablet up, like so, and wait.

-'Searching for bear. Searching for bear.'

-Wonderful.

-I think we've got something.

-'Bear, ten metres away.'

-'Bear, ten metres away.'

-Exciting stuff.

I'm literally ten metres from an actual bear.

-Don't you love technology?

-'Bear, five metres away.'

-'Bear, five metres away.'

-I can't believe it.

-The bear's getting closer.

-'Bear very close.'

-'Bear very, very close.'

-Wow! I'm finally going to spot a bear.

-Any second now.

-'Bear found.'

-'Bear found.'

-Where is it? Oh! Oh! Oh, no!

I've just dropped my tablet on the floor. Oh, I don't believe it.

-Oh, look, it's covered in mud.

-'Tablet computer shutting down.'

Oh, great. Oh, no. And now my tablet computer's stopped working.

Oh, Rapids. Honestly.

Well, I guess it's back to the low-tech bear spotting,

from now on. Never mind.

I'll find that bear, or my name's not Rapids...

-'Johnson.'

-Oh! Well, thank you. Johnson.

-'Keep 'em peeled.'

-What she said.

It's silly time!

So, bairns, it's time for step three in my exercise bike masterclass.

Riding the bike. It's going to work. I've got my safety hat.

Safety first. OK.

Now, watch and learn, bairns. Watch and learn.

OK. Get on the bike, like so.

Then you start pedalling. Off you go.

Oh, we're speeding along! Hang on a minute.

Something's not quite right, bairns.

I've not even moved an inch, and I'm pedalling like fury.

What's going on? I'm cycling on the spot.

Let's check it out on my little meter.

No. No exercise, whatsoever.

Well, I tell you what, bairns, that's disappointing.

They sent us a broken exercise bike. What's the point of that, eh?

Anyway, that's how you ride a bike. Champion.

Well, I'm sure Gail won't mind me doing the weather report, Doreen.

I did originally train, you know, as a meteor...metium...medium...uh,

weatherman. Oh, hello, there. I'm Arthur Sleep

with some important weather news.

There's going to be a lot of snow over the next 24 hours.

And the country will come to a standstill. That's good news...

Oh, dear. ..because I've got my skis already.

Well, I tell you what, I'll see you on the slopes. Take care.

Doreen, are you coming?

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go!

# Cheerio, ta-ta Bye-bye

# Farwell, TTFN Arrivederci

# We all hate to say goodbye

# But we'll be back again

# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na, na-na Ho-ho-ho

# Na-na, na-na, na-na Gigglebiz

# Na-na, na It's time to go

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz We've had a lot of fun

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz Ho-ho-ho

# Gigglebiz, Gigglebiz And now it's time to go

# Gigglebiz, giggle It's time to go! #

Ho-ho!