Things that Go Bump on a Boat Grandpa In My Pocket


Things that Go Bump on a Boat

Children's comedy about a grandpa who can magically shrink. Bob is going away for the night so Great Aunt Loretta has offered to look after his boat.


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Transcript


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BOTH: Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa?!

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Catch me if you can!

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TYRES SCREECH

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Come down, Grandpa!

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ROTORS WHIR

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GRANDPA LAUGHS

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THEY GASP

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GULL SCREECHES Bob's boat The Boomerang

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is one of my favourite places in Sunnysands.

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Everyone loves it! Including Great Aunt Loretta, Grandpa's sister.

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Coo-ee! It's only me!

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Have I got news for you!

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-Can't wait to hear it.

-Listen.

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I met Bob the Boat in Miss Smiley's cafe.

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And he's going away for the night.

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So...I'm going to stay on his boat and look after it.

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Hurray! Can I come? Can I have a sleepover on the boat? Please?!

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No, Josh. I don't think we can expect Aunt Loretta

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to look after you and the boat.

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Quite. And I don't think she should go alone.

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-I'll come and help you, Loretta.

-What possible help

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could you be, Grandpa?

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You know what you're like in strange places, you get all spooked.

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I do not get all spooked!

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There'll be nothing to spook me.

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And if there is...I've got Ratty to keep me safe.

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Oh, well, we needn't worry then, need we?

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-Loretta, are you sure?

-Have green gloop will travel.

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Green gloop is Aunt Loretta's disgusting spinach and sprout shake.

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# Thou shalt have a fishy when the boat comes in! #

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-This isn't going to end well.

-BOTH: Nope.

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Oh, yes! Tonight she was going to find out about...

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So that evening, Bob told her how everything worked.

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And here's your bed, Loretta.

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SHE LAUGHS

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-There.

-Oh, that's lovely, that is.

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Well, that should cover everything.

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-Er, what about the...(toilet)?

-Oh, right.

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Great Aunt Loretta never says the word "toilet" out loud

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-cos she thinks it's rude.

-Here, I'll show you how it works.

-Oh!

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So...Bob showed her how it worked.

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-TOILET FLUSHES

-There you go.

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-Easy, eh?

-Easy lemon squeezy.

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-And I've got Ratty to keep me safe.

-HE LAUGHS

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Just as well, cos my boat can be quite spooky at night-time.

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You don't want to be spooked, do you?

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-Whoo!

-BOTH LAUGH

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-You!

-Well, that's it, I'm off.

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BOTH LAUGH

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And off went Bob.

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Leaving Great Aunt Loretta alone on The Boomerang

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with Ratty to keep her safe.

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You will keep me...safe, won't you?

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Back home Grandpa was going to read me a story.

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Well, I wonder how Loretta's getting on?

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PHONE RINGS

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We were about to find out.

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Hello, Mill on the Marsh.

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-SHE SIGHS

-I can't open the window. It's stuck!

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And I can't turn off the stove, it won't budge.

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And worst of all... I can't flush the...(toilet).

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I'll be right there, Loretta.

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She can't open the window or turn off the stove or flush the...

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Of course she can't.

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GRANDPA SIGHS

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TOILET FLUSHES

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-And soon everything was working perfectly.

-All flushed.

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Oh, thank you. Right, run along, I'm fine.

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So uncle CJ came back to the Mill and left her on the boat with Ratty.

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She won't last the night, Josh,

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she'll break everything on Bob's boat.

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Right, all done. Time for bed, Josh. I'll get you some milk.

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And I think I'll have an early night, CJ.

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There's nothing for it, who knows what'll happen if she's left alone.

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-I'll have to go!

-JOSH GASPS

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Not the shrinking cap, Grandpa!

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Catch me if you can!

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Now, you know when Grandpa shrinks,

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he can run so fast you can't catch him.

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Grandpa!

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And his magic can make things go!

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Like my cousin Jason's car. TYRES SCREECH

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Come back!

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Or the Sunnysands' train.

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Today he jumped into my helicopter.

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Open the door, please.

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Don't worry, Josh, I'll be back.

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And with that, Grandpa flew out of the window.

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Very soon Grandpa arrived at Bob's boat The Boomerang

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and landed on the deck!

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Inside Great Aunt Loretta had got into bed

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-and she was already feeling spooked.

-Ooh! I don't like this very much.

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SHE WHIMPERS

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You keep a lookout, Ratty.

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Just then, Grandpa slid down the banisters

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and ran across the floor to hide.

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Suddenly...an owl hooted!

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OWL HOOTS

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What was that?!

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SHE SCREAMS Great Aunt Loretta dropped Ratty.

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I think it's a wolf! Oh, Ratty! Oh, Ratty, where are you?!

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SHE WHIMPERS

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-Grandpa kicked Ratty back to Great Aunt Loretta.

-Oh, there you are!

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-SHE SIGHS

-How did you get there?

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Just then a breeze blew and the boat began to make creaky noises.

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What's that creaky noise?!

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It's a monster and it's coming to get me!

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And Great Aunt Loretta upset the green gloop.

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What are we going to do, Ratty?!

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There's a wolf and a monster and it's all too spooky for me!

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I know, a glass of water.

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Grandpa saw the green gloop dripping all over Bob's shiny floor.

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He got a bucket to catch the drips.

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Just then the wind began to blow.

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What's that noise?! This is getting worse and worse!

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Oh, the monster's howling because he's hungry.

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Go away, spooky monster! Shoo! Shoo!

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Perhaps he's after my green gloop?!

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SHE SCREAMS

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He's had it already! Or someone has.

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Ohh! I don't like this, Ratty.

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There's something in here!

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Grandpa turned off the tap she'd left running.

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Whoo! I'm going to shut the window,

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so nothing else spooky can get in here.

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-SHE SIGHS

-Oh, more water.

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He had to hide...and fast!

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Grandpa was too late! She saw the cloth moving!

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There's a spooky thing moving on the draining board!

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SHE SCREAMS

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And Great Aunt Loretta grabbed the phone.

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I couldn't sleep! I was really worried about Grandpa.

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As soon as I heard the phone I jumped out of bed.

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PHONE RINGS

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All right, Loretta. Yes, just keep calm. I'll be right there.

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No, there won't be a monster. I promise.

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Calm down!

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-I'll have to go. I'll wake Grandpa up so he can look after you.

-No!

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I mean, I can come with you. I'm wide awake and maybe I can help!

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Go and get dressed.

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CICADAS CHIRRUP So off we went to The Boomerang.

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Oh, I'm so glad you're here!

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-Oh, it's been terrible!

-And while Great Aunt Loretta

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told Uncle CJ all about the spooky stuff, I found Grandpa.

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-First there was a wolf...

-An owl.

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-..and then there was a hungry monster!

-The wind.

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And there was something spooky moving on the draining board!

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-That was me under the dish cloth.

-HE LAUGHS

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-Whoops!

-I'll tell you what, Loretta, come up on deck

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and I'll show you what's making the noises.

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So Uncle CJ took her up on deck and I got to chat to Grandpa.

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Oh, Josh, am I glad to see you!

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Now, here's what I want you to do.

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Convince Loretta that she has a brilliant imagination,

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-that it was all in her head, right?

-Right.

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And then you go home with Uncle CJ

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-and I'll follow in the helicopter, right?

-Right.

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See, it was just a breeze and the ropes making the creaking noise

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and the wind making a howling noise and an owl making a hooty noise.

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No! It was a monster, I tell you! A spooky monster!

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Great Aunt Loretta was going to be hard to convince.

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Josh, I didn't realise you'd brought

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-your helicopter. Best not leave it on deck, eh?

-Bother!

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I was going to have to get Grandpa home some other way now.

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He told me to get on with the plan.

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The thing is, Great Aunt Loretta,

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you have such a brilliant imagination, you're so clever.

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Oh, really?

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Oh, well...maybe I am.

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Yes, you heard the creaky sound and the wind

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and you imagined they were wolves and monsters.

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You could be right. I do have ever such a good imagination.

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So good that you imagined this cloth was a spooky thing. Whoo-hoo!

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THEY LAUGH

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Do you know, you're right. So Ratty did look after me after all.

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-SHE CHUCKLES

-It was all in my head.

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My very clever head.

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Come on, into bed with you.

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SHE SIGHS

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While Uncle CJ got her back into bed, I quickly picked up Grandpa

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and put him in my pocket.

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Hey, good job Grandpa wasn't here,

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he'd have been frightened out of his wits.

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THEY LAUGH

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CICADAS CHIRRUP

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When we got back home, I ran upstairs, I put Grandpa down,

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he took off his shrinking cap... and came back to his normal size.

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We did it, Josh! I stopped Bob's boat from being ruined

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and you calmed Loretta down.

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-What do we call it?

-BOTH: Teamwork!

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-I've got to go, I'm supposed to be in bed.

-Josh!

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Here you are, Josh. Back to bed now, my little hero.

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The next morning, Bob came round to thank Great Aunt Loretta.

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-You're welcome, Bob.

-So it wasn't at all spooky, eh?

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Oh, no, you and Ratty weren't spooked, were you, Loretta?

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-SHE LAUGHS

-Of course we weren't.

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As if I'd be worried about spooky things.

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-Whoo!

-THEY LAUGH

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No. I guess you need a really good imagination

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-to believe in spooky things.

-That's right.

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Oh!

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Bob is going away for the night so Great Aunt Loretta has offered to look after his boat. Grandpa offers to go with her, worried that she might get spooked. Loretta insists she'll be fine on her own. But it's not long before things start to go wrong and Loretta has to call Uncle CJ to help her open the window, turn off the stove and flush the toilet.

Grandpa decides she can't be left on her own in the boat all night so he shrinks and flies to Sunnysands harbour. Unfortunately, Grandpa finds it difficult to keep out of sight, and Loretta starts to think spooky things are going on. She calls CJ again and he and Josh come to the boat. Josh persuades Great Aunt Loretta that it's just her lively imagination getting the better of her.


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